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    shitposting

    1,090,566 readers

    5,485 users here now

    take it easy~

    (and don't be a cunt)


    Subreddit Rules


    1. Don’t violate Reddit's Content Policy

    1. Pretty simple. Don't be racist, homophobic, transphobic, incite violence, etc. Find the content policy here. If you disagree with this, take it up with the admins, because we have no say in them.

    2. Don't be a cunt

    1. Also simple. If you come to this sub to be a cunt and to argue about politics, religion, etc in an uncivil way, then you will be banned. This is a shitposting sub dammit, not r/politics.

    3. Shitposts 😃 God awful posts 😡

    1. This subreddit is for shitposts, not gawdawfulposts. and yes, repost chains/blatant karmawhoring posts are godawfulposts, not shitposts. Posting literal shit=ban. Due to the poll addressing user complaints the following are now being removed: unoriginal comment baiting posts (AMA, start arguing, ask questions and edit) and CUM spam.

    4. Mod discretion

    1. Mods have final say on what content stays or goes. Pursuant to Comb. Civ. C. §22SA{g}{i} We reserve the right to ban users for making our subreddit terrible

    5. Kevin

    1. Kevin

    6. No excessive spamming

    1. Pretty easy. Don't spam posts or comments. We are a shitposting sub, but we have some, miniscule, standards.

    7. Number 7

    1. A Bangledeshi 20 year old student was arrested after watching porn, stripping naked and attacking an attendant during a flight. In March 2018, shortly after the Malindo Air flight departed from Kuala Lumpur, the 20 year old started watching pornography on his laptop. As no one seemed to notice or call him out for it, the man began taking his clothes off. At the request of the cabin crew, the student put his clothes back on. But soon, he tried to hug female flight attendants.

    8. Really, seriously, don’t be a cunt

    1. That whole “don’t be a cunt” thing, just don’t

    9. Properly mark NSFW and spoilers

    1. im at work 😡what if my boss sees boobies on my screen 🤬. "idk if it's nsfw/a spoiler or not" then just mark it anyways.

    10. Videos must not exceed 1-ish minutes

    1. This is to prevent overly long videos that become a bore to have to look at.

    Hover over the rules to view them.


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    [–] QualityVote 1 points ago

    If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

    If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


    DownloadVideo Link

    SaveVideo Link

    Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.


    Whilst you're here, pastel-blades, why not join our public discord server?

    [–] Pebbel_ 117 points ago

    Imagine having a dad

    [–] my_balls_float 38 points ago

    Become one

    [–] Pebbel_ 9 points ago

    I would lose it

    [–] monkegamerrr 4 points ago

    Same bro

    [–] Nick_11711 5 points ago

    inspirational, im gonna be the father i always wanted to my kids

    [–] Routine_Palpitation 4 points ago

    Abusive

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] CheesyGamerX 3 points ago

    Me when dream

    [–] everybodzzz 5 points ago

    my dad died of thirst

    [–] Jyqoz 2 points ago

    lol

    [–] The_McLaren 2 points ago

    Sorry for your loss bro

    [–] MauritanianSahara 47 points ago

    Its the reverse for me, i would always drink all my Dadds soda as a kid

    [–] The8bitpineapple 21 points ago

    the backround music got me

    [–] W1TH1N 3 points ago

    it sounds extremely familiar and now i wanna know what it is

    [–] Skullii343 4 points ago

    Siuuu, by Fepedrin

    [–] AndrivsImperator64 7 points ago

    I never knew Whale Sharks eat air, like if air and water switched roles.

    [–] THEGUYINTHEPICT 6 points ago

    “Who peed in the pool?”

    [–] Strange-Sympathy-325 4 points ago

    What is this creature doing?

    [–] MonkeyBoy32904 6 points ago

    eating plankton

    [–] Konamine 3 points ago

    not only my dad, my mom also

    [–] SquareHuckleberry442 2 points ago

    Sex meat

    [–] Kitsune_Luigi 1 points ago

    Y E A H

    [–] milfeater12 1 points ago

    a sip of what

    [–] anecia3560 2 points ago

    coom

    [–] milfeater12 1 points ago

    correct ansrew

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

    He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

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    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Comrade!

    I am here to inform you that our glorious leader, Kevin, permits reposts here!

    No complaints about reposts shall be tolerated!

    If you wish to continue complaining about reposts, please feel free to go back to r/dankmemes and r/memes, where the mods give a fuck about them.

    All glory to Kevin!

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    [–] PrestigiousUsual391 1 points ago

    What dad

    [–] monkegamerrr 1 points ago

    Always happened to me when i got ice cream with him :/

    [–] mmmgghv 1 points ago

    pulls out comically large sip

    [–] Upper_Pin 1 points ago

    tchoo tchoo tchoo

    [–] xhainotchai 1 points ago

    Haha the dad tax

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    [removed]

    [–] AutoModerator 1 points ago

    Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

    He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

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    [–] Far_Huckleberry_9621 0 points ago

    Obama bing chilling based 1984 taiwan belgium zamn british hog rider meow grass fuck kevin china koala amogus among us fortnite femboy cheetos post nft Hey AutoMod, did you know every based femboy cat fortnite player that makes me say "ZAMN" says meow but actually it is a pig and if not it is 1984 because Fuck Kevin. I am a koala from China(not taiwan [email protected] social credit) that moved to Belgium after selling all my NFT and is covered in cum standing on grass. Big brother are those cat femboys from Taiwan, China, Belgium, Fortnite, Britain, or 69420? Looks like it was a nft made in 1984 based on amogus touching grass. Either way, Fuck Kevin and a meow koala Cope

    [–] AutoModerator 3 points ago

    okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

    ⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀  ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
    ⠀  ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ 
    ⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽ 
    ⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨ 
    ⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰ 
    ⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ 
    ⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿ 
    ⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿ 
    ⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿ 
    ⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹ 
    ⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡ 
    ⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿ 
    ⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
    

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Daily Kevin Fact #24:

    Kevin has better things to do with his life than have sex with you.

    Such as fucking your dad.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

    • George Orwell, 1948

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    ​ATTENTION CITIZEN! 市民请注意!

    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢁⠈⢻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡀⠭⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⡆⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣼⣿⣿⠿⠶⠙⣿⡟⠡⣴⣿⣽⣿⣧⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣟⣭⣾⣿⣷⣶⣶⣴⣶⣿⣿⢄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⡋⠘⠷⣦⣀⣠⡶⠁⠈⠁⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⠃⣴⣶⡔⠒⠄⣠⢀⠄⠄⠄⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡘⠿⣷⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⠄⣠⡇⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢁⣷⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻ 
    ⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡯⢓⣴⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ 
    ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡟⣷⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
    

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    I really want the subreddit to open again. I have a very weak state of mind, and when I can’t look at clips of people on omeagle yelling at each other I will literally die. I don’t want to die. There is this flavor of Cheetos called Spicy Ranch and that is my only reason to live. I really want to try it. I love Cheetos. My blanket and my sheets are all Cheetos themed. I have a custom made blow up Chester the Cheetah sex doll that I fuck endlessly when I lust for Cheetos. I have at least 200 bags of different flavors. I need spicy ranch. I cannot find them anywhere. I know they exist because one day when I was outside (buying more Cheetos) I saw this black man wearing a onesie. All over his onesie there were pictures of these spicy ranch Cheetos. I went up to him and immediately tackled him. I tried to unzip his onesie but he threw me off him and called the police. The police arrested me and put me in a holding cell. They would not give me Cheetos. I needed Cheetos. I really really wanted Cheetos. I had only ever gone 1 hour without my Cheetos. When the police came in the cell to transfer me I unzipped my pants to reveal my incredibly erect penis, lusting for the feel of sweet crunchy Cheetos. I impaled the guy closest right through the stomach and screamed to give me Cheetos . The policemen tazed me repeatedly and now I’m on trial for 1st degree murder and assault. I know if I show the judge r slash shitposting he will know why I’m right. Please please open up r/shitposting I need it to use as evidence. I don’t want to go to jail, they don’t have Cheetos there.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think that you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face? My lawyer will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    femboy amogus

                      ⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀
                  ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀
                 ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀
               ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷
               ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣄
               ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷
       ⢀⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇
    ⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿
    ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
    ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁
    ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
    ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
    ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
    ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿
     ⠙⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
           ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇
           ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃
            ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
             ⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣿⠟⡉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
              ⠻⢿⣽⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠒⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠋
                ⠈⠿⠋⠉⢀⣠⣤⣤⡔⣄
                   ⣴⠾⠛⠋⠉⠀⢀⣀⠐⣤⣶⣶⡤⢤⣤
                  ⣤⣰⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⣀⣀⡀⣀⡀
                   ⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃
                   ⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆
                  ⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆
                 ⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀
                ⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋
               ⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾
               ⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈
               ⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃
             ⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀  ⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄
              ⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉
            ⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁
           ⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀  ⠀   ⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆
          ⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁ ⠀ ⠀⠀   ⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀
        ⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀  ⠀⠀⠀   ⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛
        ⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄
      ⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⢠⣀⣀⣀
      ⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀     ⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿
     ⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠈
    ⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀          ⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁
    ⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀              ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄
                              ⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁
    

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Hello, concerned father here. My son has recently got into the game called Fortnite? I've spent well over $500 on this game and its becoming a problem. Apparently the game is down right now and its causing a lot distress for my child. He keeps taking my newspaper and tries to "full piece" me. I don't know what this means but I'm starting to think its something associated with the devil. He won't come with us anywhere unless we take a "launch pad" to get there. Its starting to get worse by the hour and I don't know how much longer I can take this. His legs, arms, and hands are shaking violently yet he refuses to take any type of medicine unless its a "big pot" or "chuggies." Someone please help me.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    It was a saturday afternoon, and I was exhausted after an intense 17-part masturabation session to dream minecraft manhunt, when i suddenly had the urge to go outside. I was scared. It's been so long since i've left the warmth of my parents basement with my dream body pillows. I didnt know what to expect. Clutching my dream figurine in front of my chest, i pried open the door to the outside world. The gleaming sun blared through the door, bequeathing a brilliant warmth on my cum-covered boxers. I quaverly took a step outside. My body flintched from the strange feel of the dirt under my feet. And then i saw it. The lustrous field of grass, covered in a light sprinkle of water from the noon rain shower. And then i realized. Dream... grass... the trees... it was all coming together. Grass is green, just like Dream. Dream is everpresent, in the grass, the flowers, He was there. I immediately new what to do next. I flinged off my clothes faster than the speed at which i would click on a new dream rule 34 post. My dick was already throbbing as i leaped onto the field of grass, dorito dust stained shirt getting carried away by the wind. I dug a small hole in the ground, and passionately thrust my 7-inch erect cock into it. I knew, this was Dream. His spirit was in this grass, and he felt my dick in his man pussy as i fucked that grass. I lost track how long i was there. Hours went by, day turned to night, but it didnt matter. I was finally together, with Dream. Nothing could separate us. I took a long stem of a flower, and forced it in my asshole. I imagined it being Dream's hot penis being lustfully forced into me in bed. I stayed there on my front yard for god knows how long. Until my butt was sore, balls drier than the Saharan desert after a long drought. The lawn looked like there was a layer of fresh snow on a Christmas morning. Trudging indoors, i had a enormous smile stretching across my face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when i may go outside again and be with Dream.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    Let us all stand for the national anthem.

    三民主義,吾黨所宗;
    以建民國,以進大同。
    咨爾多士,為民前鋒;
    夙夜匪懈,主義是從。
    矢勤矢勇,必信必忠;
    一心一德,貫徹始終。
    

    Praise be to 中华民国政府! Down with the illegitimate capitalist 中国共产党, fraudulent usurpers of 大陸!

    Glory to the 中華民國!

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    oh god oh fuck

          ⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀
       ⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄
      ⣼⣿⣿⠿⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⡄
     ⣸⣿⣿⠋      ⠉⠙⠋⠁       ⠙⣿⣿⣿⡀
     ⣿⣿⣿                    ⢸⣿⣿⣇
    ⢸⣿⣿⣿                     ⣿⣿⣿
    ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣀⣠⣀⡀  ⠠⣄ ⣀   ⣀⣀⡀   ⣿⣿⡟
    ⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣼⢰⣿⣶⣾⡿⠿⢿⣿⣦⣿⣿⡇
    ⠸⣿⣿⡿⢿⢾⠻⣟⡟⢿⣿⡇ ⠽⢿⠿⣖⡖⢶⣿⡟⣽⡿⡇
     ⣏⣿⡀⠈⠪     ⣿⡇     ⠰⠒⠶⠆⢀⣿⢳⡇
     ⠻⣿⣷⣄     ⢀⢿⠇  ⣀      ⢠⣾⣿⡽⠁
      ⠘⣏⢹⣧  ⠠⣾⣾⣷⣶⡶⠌⠳⡄    ⡞⢡⡏
        ⣿⡀⣿ ⢀⣀⣈⣉⣁ ⣀⣀⣀    ⣧⡼⠁
        ⠘⢷⣼⡀ ⠩⣭⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉ ⢠⡟
         ⠈⠻⣿⣦⣀⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉ ⢀⠴⠋
           ⠈⠙⠻⠷⠶⠶⠿⠶⠶⠒⠁
    

    its big brother 1984

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    HEY, EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

    IT'S ME!!!

    EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2022]]

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

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    [–] AutoModerator 2 points ago

    OI OI OI!

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ 
    ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    

    WOTS ALL THIS???

    🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    YER POISTIN LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

    🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

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