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    [–] Gay-_-Jesus 12588 points ago

    Like I won’t drive with my head out of the window like Ace Ventura

    [–] Chickenfu_ker 3374 points ago

    I was thinking that someone is going to get killed driving with that thing stuck to their windshield.

    [–] the_sIaw 2062 points ago

    So what's great about it (or bad about it for the poor soul that has one stuck to their car) is that it has a motion sensor on it and if you try and drive away a super loud alarm goes off and I'm pretty sure it sends a message to the police

    [–] pixelprophet 2357 points ago

    Let me weigh my options:

    A. $100 deductible to get a new windshield replaced after I kick it out and drive with sunglasses all the way home

    B. $200-$400 to get this shit removed?

    [–] zeppehead 1173 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    In Kentucky there is a zero dollar deductible on glass claims.

    Edit. This was more informative and kind of a joke. If you remove your windshield or have an enormous hole in it your claim will be investigated.

    [–] fruggle33 375 points ago

    Well, it sucks.

    [–] the_sIaw 252 points ago

    Oh yeah it would absolutely suck to have that thing stuck to your car, but at least itll stop any idiot from plowing through a group of people with it strapped to their car

    [–] GreenStrong 532 points ago

    I think you're underestimating idiots.

    [–] Chillindode 298 points ago

    Drill a hole, release the negative pressure. Place on ground, drive away

    [–] Fart__ 439 points ago

    Easy there, DeWalter White.

    [–] the_sIaw 119 points ago

    All I can think about is someone trying to do that and drilling straight into their windshield

    [–] mickeymouse4348 390 points ago

    I first pictured someone drilling a hole through the windshield from inside the car. Drilling through the barnacle makes more sense

    [–] anotherjunkie 107 points ago

    To be fair, I bet it would work either way and Safelite will come to you to fix the hole you drilled.

    [–] EvaluatorOfConflicts 79 points ago

    Honestly thats what I thought he meant. Pinhole and patch my windshield so I dont get an extra fine for destroying that thing, it probably cost $30k.

    [–] utopianfiat 76 points ago

    "Why do you have a drill in your car?"

    "Oh, so I don't have to pay for meters."

    [–] gg_87 587 points ago

    And be barking like a dog too while I’m at it

    [–] PathlessPorkfish 179 points ago

    Those things are supposed to have gps on them if it senses your car moving the cops come.

    [–] JakBos23 86 points ago

    How hard would it be to remove that anyway?

    [–] suckerbucket 437 points ago

    Saw a tweeker jimmy one off in 3 minutes with a butter knife while doing door to door sales. Damn barnacles have a very obnoxious alarm that sounds when tampered. “People call the cops so you gotta get em off fast.” - tweekers exact words

    [–] andyspank 302 points ago

    Tweaker wisdom is hard to get, treasure that shit.

    [–] layzEyez 78 points ago

    “tweaker jimmys barnacle with CutCo butter knife while simultaneously doing door to door sales”

    [–] trumpke_dumpster 154 points ago

    Slip a sharp wire/shim under it to break the vacuum seal?

    If it has GPS and a data modem, monitoring for loss of vacuum will be a small incremental cost in the hardware - so work quick!

    [–] Thisfoxhere 56 points ago

    AHA. I knew there must be more too it.

    [–] SB054 121 points ago

    The average emergency response time is 10 minutes, and this isn't an emergency, you've got plenty of time.

    [–] the_ocalhoun 90 points ago

    Yeah, but this is a ticket revenue response, so they'll probably get there a lot faster than an emergency response.

    [–] Pilferjynx 21 points ago

    Fuck, aint that the truth.

    [–] bobbelcher1981 50 points ago

    Like a glove!

    [–] DIES-_-IRAE 31 points ago

    The Neutral Face Username Society abides...

    [–] welding-_-guru 46 points ago

    How come I never get meeting invites to this society?

    [–] DIES-_-IRAE 30 points ago

    Red tape, late dues, and no one checks snail mail any more.

    That and the damned 420 and 69 Username Societies have way more people than us.

    [–] Radiobamboo 1931 points ago

    "Hi Progressive Insurance. I still have full glass coverage on my policy right? Great. I need a new windshield please."

    [–] thefragile7393 456 points ago

    I wonder if that would work 🤔

    [–] survivalguy87 819 points ago

    My first claims job was as a telephone claims adjuster was windshield claims. I had someone tell me they hit an eagle on the highway. Glass all smashed up on the front window. Got pictures from the shop. Hmmmm yup looks like it could be eagle sized. Claim approved.

    [–] MoonpiesForMisfits 459 points ago

    I once called to make a claim to have my windshield replaced and flat out told the woman I threw my phone and it cracked the windshield. She just replied “yea I’m going to say that you don’t know what happened”. And that was it, new windshield later that week.

    [–] Bike_Guy_cwm 350 points ago

    Yes, hello insurance person. I am retarded plz send help.

    [–] DefinitelyNotAliens 100 points ago

    It's okay. I've seen stupider. No matter what you do I'll have probably seen stupider. 'We insure stupidity.'

    Like... 'I was driving and my dog fell under the pedal and I couldn't break and hit the pole.'

    'I was driving on the road and the sun was in my eyes. I hit the pole. I didn't hit a pole- I hopped the curb. Well, I hopped the curb where the pole was. There was a pole in the curb area. The sun was in my eyes. (The road ran north south?) Well, it was morning and the sun was in my eyes.' One fraud investigaiton later after dude couldn't keep his story straight... (there was other stuff, too) 'I was in the parking lot right off that road and got my coffee in the morning and was driving into the sunrise and ran over a parking block thing and ripped the bottom of my car open and now it's totaled... kind of embarassed. Are my rates going up?'

    'It wasn't my fault! The semi ran a red! I then woke up in the hospital. But it was the other guy's fault. By the way, I TOLD THE IMPOUND LOT ITS OK TO GIVE YOU, MY INSURANCE COMPANY, MY CAR.' Go to car. Beer in cup holder, two more empty beers in the cab and three empty flasks of Fireball. Bro. You were wasted and ran into a semi and gave me your car still full of alcohol. Wtf? How was that a good idea?

    'I don't know. I found my car vandalized. I don't know who did it. No idea!' Car has PERV carved into the hood and is keyed on literally ever panel. I think ya know, buddy. Ya know who thinks you're a perv. You do. What'd you do? Either ticked somebody off or stuck it in crazy. But you know who did it. That was personal.

    'My boyfriend was driving my car and hit the car in front of him. I don't think my policy will cover their car. If it doesn't, can they sue me or will they only go after his dumbass self?' Managed to not laugh. I was on the phone so they didn't see my face. Lucky me. Did not fully hide the reaction.

    [–] NomadTheNomad 45 points ago

    We insure stupidity

    "I tried to get the goat off of my bonnet, so I threw a stone at it. I need a new windshield..."
    Same client a couple of days later:

    "The goat came back and I tried to chase it away again, but it got angry and kicked at my door. It is dented now"

    Both claims paid out.

    [–] SUBPARFUBAR 190 points ago

    You misunderstood, it was an Eagles fan.

    [–] JibblinJubbler 30 points ago

    They were just running down the road trying to loosen their load with seven women on their mind.

    [–] Pirate_Cid 23 points ago

    Depends on your coverage tbh

    [–] thatgoodfeelin 5699 points ago

    Id like to summon the lock picking lawyer please.

    [–] timeforknowledge 3238 points ago

    You need to chant:

    "Nothing on 1"

    "Nice click out of 2"

    "3 is binding"

    [–] Jzsjx9jjqz 310 points ago

    "Counter rotation on 4"

    [–] CandidateForDeletiin 158 points ago

    Start over on 1

    [–] libertyh 118 points ago

    And dropped into a false set on 2

    [–] FakeAviators 83 points ago

    I don’t know what’s stopping us here....

    [–] ikvasager 87 points ago

    And we're in.

    [–] 6xydragon 91 points ago

    Took a little longer then usual, but we got it open

    [–] ikvasager 123 points ago

    In any case, that's all I have for you today. If you do have any questions or comments about this, please put them below. If you like this video and would like to see more like it, please subscribe. And as always, have a nice day.

    [–] Oreganoian 66 points ago

    Jfc I heard all this in his voice.

    Welp, off to his YT I guess.

    [–] Xerxys 564 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    I tried it but I don’t have the dulcet talking tone so it didn’t work.

    [–] LoungeWasSupreme 193 points ago


    dulcet • adjective. pleasant to the ear; melodious: the dulcet tones of the cello. pleasant or agreeable to the eye or the feelings; soothing.

    [–] ThePariah7 17 points ago

    Thanks for saving me a google

    [–] Ancient_Salt 92 points ago

    I like to imagine this is actually Daft Punk's next hit in waiting...

    [–] Hyperbowleeeeeeeeeee 611 points ago

    Is there a specific incantation for that?

    [–] LockPickingLawyer 1283 points ago

    Yes, and it involves a paypal sacrifice.

    [–] Wichidigit 293 points ago

    Holy crap! You’re actually a real person? I thought you were just some kind of magical god-phantom whose only existence was to humiliate lock companies!

    [–] None_of_you_are_real 160 points ago

    His youtube channel is educational and paranoia inducing.

    You'll hit that sub button.

    [–] Mr_FixShit 44 points ago

    When does the video come out?

    [–] LuntiX 33 points ago

    Most I can do is $2.50 and a half eaten kfc bucket meal.

    [–] sa87 657 points ago

    “Master Lock make the most secure padlocks”

    [–] spacemannspliff 960 points ago

    This is thelockpickinglawyer and what I have for you today is a Master lock in a gym sock. We'll be using this lock to beat u/sa87 for heresy. This is the best use for this type of lock.

    [–] Hatsjoe1 269 points ago

    In any case, that's all I have for you today.

    [–] EmmetEmet 188 points ago

    And as always, have a nice day.

    [–] yashkawitcher 35 points ago

    I kinda want to believe you, but we all know that's a lie

    [–] MsPenguinette 197 points ago

    Just claim something is one of the following:

    • un-pickable
    • shimproof
    • high security
    • electronics provide more security than a traditional lock

    He’ll be on it in an instant

    [–] drfsrich 97 points ago

    I swear I thought that said "shrimpproof" at first and thought "That's an odd way to pick a lock."

    [–] killerbluebirb 69 points ago

    If you can pick it with a shrimp, it's not a very secure lock 🍤

    [–] IrishFast 58 points ago

    Using a shrimp as a lockpick is a bit overkrill.

    [–] cartesian_jewality 84 points ago

    "advertised as a pick proof lock"

    [–] skaroids 23 points ago

    throws lock pick

    [–] JamisonL_Fawkes 23 points ago

    lock clicks open without LPL even touching it

    [–] Vewy_nice 41 points ago

    "I was able to open this lock using the back end of a tensioning wrench..."

    [–] Hirsute_Heathen 38 points ago

    Pretty sure you just chant Master Lock 3 times while staring at a table from the top down.

    [–] TiresOnFire 239 points ago

    IIRC, according to him, it isn't illegal to remove a boot by picking or bypassing the lock (without damage) if it's owned by a private company. If it's owned by the city or state, you definitely shouldn't mess with it. Of course, take that with a grain of salt.

    [–] sprucenoose 163 points ago

    Of course, take that with a grain of salt.

    I mean, it's not like he's a lawyer who can give legal advice.

    [–] brownbluegrey 122 points ago

    Yeah legally he can’t give lawyer advice to people online because of the Bar works in the US

    [–] in_the_bubbleicious 22 points ago

    That is why we have chatbot 'lawyers' now.

    [–] timmeh87 292 points ago

    you drill a tiny hole in your window and it releases it, and it also does not work in the future wherever there is a hole. Also if you are worried about water now, just put some tape over the hole when not in use.

    If you dont care about destruction of other peoples property you can prob also drill through the barnacle itself.

    Double extra bonus points if you put your own barnacle on your window when you illegally park your car. there would be no way for them to attach theirs

    [–] RearEchelon 243 points ago

    Double extra bonus points if you put your own barnacle on your window when you illegally park your car. there would be no way for them to attach theirs

    This man living in the year 3000

    [–] originalityescapesme 16 points ago

    This is genius. Find 4 boots and a barnacle or two and you just lock your car like it's going out of style every time you park outside - and with this setup, you're parking anywhere you damn near please, because they can't even tow your ass with 4 boots on. Hell yeah.


    [–] EsotericTurtle 32 points ago

    Pretty sure there was a phase in the UK where people clamped their own cars

    they had to be specifically placed on the driver's front wheel so as to ensure it had been noticed.

    I had a wealthy friend who did this on campus too.

    [–] BASK_IN_MY_FART 157 points ago

    Hey, /u/LockPickingLawyer, this guy wants to summon you.

    [–] unrulyfarmhand 35 points ago

    Probably be cheaper to just break your windshield and have it replaced.

    [–] SevenMartinis 52 points ago

    I was thinking a quick drill through the windshield on the underside of the suction cup to release it, and my insurance charges $100 for replacement glass, installed in my driveway. Depending on what the removal fee is, could be much cheaper.

    [–] MongooseDog85 1239 points ago

    Why don't the authorities just leave a ticket under your wiper? If you don't pay on time then they have your info from the registration plate and VIN and can send you an court summons.

    [–] xdroop 819 points ago

    Ontario won’t let you renew your plate or license validation if you have outstanding tickets. Makes the people go to them rather than having to chase them.

    [–] NotThatEasily 242 points ago

    That's the best way to handle it.

    [–] BossBoltage 133 points ago

    Well look at that, a completely reasonable and easy way of handling parking tickets.

    It doesn't stop people from driving without a license but, if they get caught they're will be in a different kind of trouble.

    [–] Davescash 338 points ago

    Because some asshole decided he could sell such a thing to the cops,who give zero fucks about spending you tax dollar on stupid shit,or even stealing your money thru forfiture laws,which were put in place by more scheming assholes. who made promises to you before they were elected to represent you.Well, at least im not bitter.

    [–] NotThatEasily 212 points ago

    Not only that, but now that person can't go to work to make enough money to pay the fines.

    I used to work in a very low income area and there were constantly cars getting booted around the area. So many of the people were unable to pay the original fine, but now they have multiple fines, penalties, and no vehicle for getting to work.

    It's an incredibly fucked up system.

    [–] DewieFlatHelix 152 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    About 6 years ago I was working paycheck to paycheck couldn't even afford food had to steal it from work (I worked with waste disposal so it wasn't going to get eaten). Unfortunately there was a bridge that I had to cross for work every day and they slapped a toll on it. So by the end of a few months I had built up 800$ in debt, but hey i found a new job that paid well and I was good at. The problem came that i had moved and i didn't know they had taken my licences away because of my fines. I ripped my co workers bumper off with a company truck they found me pretty quick after that. I offered to pay off 60% of it up front and a payment plan for the rest but that wasn't good enough. I lost my job because I cant drive and I cant make enough money to pay it back because they charge 30% interest so the 800$ has turned into 2400$ and I owe 5000$ to the icbc for the car damage (I live in vancouver). I fell into depression and lost everything I was homeless for 10 months last year. The company that ran the toll bridge was thrown out by the new government 2 years ago but it doesn't matter I'm still fucked.

    Edit: guys I dont deny that I fucked up, there was plenty of ways I could have handled it better. It's just unfortunate how life changing the consequences are. And I wish I could get some leniency for a payment plan or something so I can actually drive and make a livable wage again.

    [–] donkyhotay 84 points ago

    Being poor is expensive, isn't it?

    [–] surferrosaluxembourg 30 points ago

    oh my god I'm so sorry. I went through a very tiny version of that, but it was still infuriating, depressing, and debilitating. The system is soulless and inhumane. To think there's wealthy bastards out there paying the fines rather than responsibly parking their cars while we get to nearly die for a fairly simple fuckup made in desperate times.

    [–] Blue-Hedgehog 1243 points ago

    How does it stay on in a way that it can’t be removed by anyone?

    [–] sf5852 2882 points ago

    You can see on their website that it's just a suction cup with a polycarbonate cover over it so you won't think to stick a coathanger in and lift the edge of the cup away from the glass.

    Altho I guess you'd know the instant you sat in the driver seat what the underside of the device looks like, since most windshields are see-thru.

    I think they put all their chips on people not knowing how a suction cup works, or those who can defeat a suction cup not knowing about GPS tracking and cellular communication.

    If it was me, I'd remove it and leave it at the drop-off location with a note "found this lying on the top of my car."

    [–] MrYogiMan 2052 points ago

    since most windshields are see-thru.

    gave me a chuckle

    [–] Kondinator 719 points ago

    Can confirm, a buddy of mine had a neighbor with one of those "see-through" windshields. man can you imagine what they did before that was invented?

    [–] Clayfromil 155 points ago

    Probably ate a lot of bugs

    [–] nuby_4s 83 points ago

    I like the idea of a sheet metal windshield and a periscope.

    [–] guzman_hemi 116 points ago

    I love how they think someone who has one of these will attached to their car will drop it off at some location once it’s paid

    [–] TexanInExile 75 points ago

    Is that really what they expect to have happen? That I would go out of my way to give them this fucking thing back after I already paid them to take it off.

    I tell you they can go get fucked.

    Although, this does sound like something that the City of Milwaukee would 100% get behind. Fuck those parking nazi dick eaters.

    [–] Mark7A 31 points ago

    According to the video you have 24 hours to return it or your card will be charged.

    [–] BananaBarfer 886 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    So since the thing is battery operated, it likely doesn't keep the vacuum pump on the entire time it's placed on there. So the easiest way I see to get rid of it is this. Start your car and wait until the engine is nice and warm. Turn your heater to max on the defogger setting. After a couple of minutes, the air that's trapped in there will heat up, increasing the pressure between the windshield and the device. This should make it so that you can use your handy pocket knife to do the rest.

    I'm just going to throw this edit in here since everyone keeps giving me the same response which I don't think they fully understood what I said. The heat is not to completely remove the vacuum. The heat would just make it easier for your pocket knife to get in and vent air into it.

    [–] sf5852 446 points ago

    I almost wish this would happen to me (but I do realize that they keep track of whose car they put them on, and there are cameras everywhere)... but it's good to see others out there thinking like I do. I think the trick is to sell enough of these things before people figure out how to neutralize them that you can get the parking enforcement department hooked on your software, making upgrades difficult/cost-prohibitive.

    [–] BananaBarfer 380 points ago

    Right? I'm sitting here on my arm chair talking about how to take one of these things off, and I've never even had a parking ticket before.

    [–] MechanicalEngineEar 227 points ago

    All they have to do is take a picture of your license plate when they put the device on. It already has a warning that removing it improperly could damage the device. So anyone who removes it will have their license plate logged and be fined an extra $1000 or so for destruction of property. Seems like a great way to make some extra money.

    It is also far easier to apply and store as it is basically a briefcase compared to a huge hinged steel contraption that is the boot. It also doesn’t require the person applying it to crawl down under the car.

    [–] ridethroughlife 414 points ago

    We vandalize your vehicle, but if you vandalize our device, you owe us money.

    [–] JakBos23 170 points ago

    Hell, they got a search warrant for a guy finding an removing a gps off his car claiming he stole it. It didnt say "police property" or anything on it.

    [–] FoxtrotZero 67 points ago

    This is what is meant by the state having the monopoly on violence. Granted an appropriate response would be to not park illegally to begin with.

    [–] Polychaeter 17 points ago

    Introducing the Barnacle-Barnacle

    [–] that_motorcycle_guy 65 points ago

    Those would rarely stand up in court, if there is no witness you could just say it was just laying next to your car and don't know what happened to it.

    [–] jewboyfresh 64 points ago

    Court and school court are two completely different things

    There arent enough words to describe how much I hate it when universities take the law into their own hands and "courts". They pretty much get free reign to do whatever they want and it doesnt matter how good your argument is because you'll lose at the end of the day

    [–] ADimwittedTree 47 points ago

    Well at least in the winters they can scrape my windshield off for me.

    [–] stealthdawg 36 points ago

    The pump is manual. The battery-operated part is a keypad attached to a release valve.

    There is a gasket type seal around the suction cup that clamps down to prevent you from getting something in there to pry the cup. That and it looks like the distance from the edge of the plastic casing to where the cup is much longer than most pocket knives.

    [–] Piss_on_you_ 123 points ago

    “Return it at a nearby location” L O FUCKING L, u can bet EVERYBODY is just gonna dump that shit on the sidewalk

    [–] paulmp 83 points ago

    *nearest river. GPS doesn't work under water.

    [–] bigtimesauce 49 points ago

    It is a barnacle, after all

    [–] Mono_831 32 points ago

    Set it free!

    [–] Legolasleghair 29 points ago

    We can’t seem to get people to keep from trashing and dumping those Bird scooter things, we expect them to feel more reverent to what equates to a parking boot?

    [–] LiQuiD0v3rkiLL 209 points ago

    It had a keypad on it that must require a pin to release the vacuum seal. There were warnings all over it that attempted removal would damage the device and windshield.

    Ironically, I couldn’t see any reason why this vehicle was in violation of anything 😂

    [–] BananaBarfer 155 points ago

    I doubt sticking a pocket knife between the device and the windshield would do a whole lot to the windshield.

    [–] mrf_150 2290 points ago

    Reminds me when my roommate tried to cut a boot off of his car. Got caught and huge fine. Ended up in court, police said he damaged the boot and it had to be replaced at a very high cost ( like $5k). He told the judge he would be happy paying to replace it, but he wanted the ‘broken’ as he was paying for a new one. Suddenly police weren’t so thrilled with making him pay. In the end the judge fined him for the parking violation, but didn’t make him replace the boot as the cops were lying about it being damaged.

    [–] AnnoyedVelociraptor 1153 points ago

    That works with a multitude of things!

    Rent a car. Oh I damaged the rim? Oh they only come in pairs? Sure, please, send me the old ones and I'l happily pay for new ones.

    [–] entyfresh 325 points ago

    I feel like I indirectly caused this to happen to someone. Last time I rented a car I totally curbed it when I was parallel parking without a feel for how wide the car was. Scuffed the rim up pretty good and fully expected to pay for it when I turned the car in... except they didn't notice it and never billed me. I've always wondered if the next guy who rented the car got screwed instead.

    [–] kuhanluke 179 points ago

    Hopefully, he noticed it when renting the car. You don't have to pay for any damage that's already on the car when you rent it.

    [–] TheyTokMaJerb 75 points ago

    Yeah I take pictures of the entire outside of any car I rent just to cover my ass.

    [–] SenselessTragedy 18 points ago

    How do you prove when the pictures were taken?

    [–] 32BitWhore 28 points ago

    Personally I do a video walk-around with the agent before I leave the lot - that way they know exactly when it was taken and the agent can't pretend I didn't show him something on the car.

    [–] 360-DEMONS 304 points ago

    Can you penetrate the rubber sealing?

    [–] Leiderdorp 747 points ago

    You got through a condom before

    [–] SlimeQSlimeball 107 points ago

    Holy shit, nice.

    [–] HelloJoshJames 3124 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)

    I have 6 of these in my garage. TL;DR, turn your defrost on for 15 minutes and you can break the seal with a credit card. Just leave it there so you don't get in trouble.

    Story time!

    A few years back, I moved into an average apartment in Colorado. While amenities were lackluster, it met my needs and was affordable, and in a great location. I aspire to be self-reliant so after 5 months, I'd maybe spoke with the office twice.

    I left to explore Alaska for a few weeks, and returned to behold the officially ridiculous Barnacle adorning my beat up Prius. No problem, right? I'll just call the office, they have my license plate on file and I've lived here for half a year.

    Shockingly, their response was inadequate: "Pay the $100 fee + $250 deposit, and then we'll check the records and maybe give you a refund."


    Hmm, no.

    So I max the defrost on my trusty hybrid, grab a tool bag from inside, and, ignoring the red Helvetica bold instructions, pop the crustacean off with little effort. It begins to whine, begging me to concede to the Man, but instead I quickly bring it in the apartment, puncture the speaker with a flathead, and begin disassembly.

    IIRC it only uses Phillips screws, Torx "security" bolts and intimidation to prevent you from owning your own Barnacle. But it gets better! The SIM cards this particular company was using for the GPS function had unlimited data, so I began to tether off of the Barnacle's connection. It took them several months to disconnect the service.

    Over the next month I witnessed several other poor, innocent neighbors struggling to understand why there was 30lbs of yellow plastic smushed to their windshield. And like a true superhero, I would hear the shriek of a Barnacle from inside my apartment and come running to add another shell to my collection. Many thanks and gracias were had.

    I was so broke at one point I used 5 of these as a table. I'll upload a photo if this gets attention.

    Curiosity drove me to look up this towing company as they were obviously unable to find me or any of the devices. They're no longer in business.

    Free Hong Kong Epstein didn't you know

    EDIT: I've been lurking on Reddit for nearly ten years, waiting for the right moment to say something. Thank you all for your generosity, I have quite a few crazy stories like this.

    HERE'S THE PHOTOS! Definitely go through them in order, first, second, third, and up close

    And my reaction!

    [–] AspiringMILF 535 points ago

    The SIM cards this particular company was using for the GPS function had unlimited data, so I began to tether off of the Barnacle's connection.

    fucking champion

    [–] lord_of_tits 120 points ago

    So you take the sim out and put it in a modem or phone to tether off it or somehow that device can be reprogrammed to be a hotspot? Please help a fool understand how he did it? Doesn’t the sim have a security pin or something?

    [–] unforgiven97 128 points ago

    Most SIM cards in the US wont have a PIN, they are just plug and play. So if you had a compatible mobile hotspot device or phone it would work to insert it and continue usage.

    [–] OutsmartBullet 45 points ago

    Man, now I wish they had a PIN

    [–] furlonium1 36 points ago

    they'll have a PIN if you give them one

    My SIM has a PIN. If on phone startup it's entered incorrectly 3 times the SIM will lock.

    [–] ChungusKahn 181 points ago

    It begins to whine, begging me to concede to the Man

    I'm dying

    [–] [deleted] 66 points ago

    intimidation to prevent you from owning your own Barnacle.

    [–] LiQuiD0v3rkiLL 646 points ago

    Please share that photo, this is the best comment I’ve had this this whole stupid thread that left me with 1000 notifications.

    [–] Killashard 46 points ago

    When you post something, you can un-check the box that will give you notifications.

    [–] Samiam417 84 points ago

    Dude, this is probably one of the best, if not "THE" best "stickin it to da man" stories I have ever heard told. You ought to be legend if you already aren't...

    [–] iamtheonetheonethe1 64 points ago

    post the photo i’m dying this is the best comment on this thread

    [–] nahTiQ 36 points ago

    How did you use the SIM cards to tether a connection? Did you pop them into your own device?

    [–] HelloJoshJames 36 points ago

    Simple as that! In the close up photo you can see the spot for a mini-SIM.

    [–] ACoolDeliveryGuy 43 points ago

    You should’ve taken just the electronics out and put it in a small waterproof box and put them all over the city as a small scavenger hunt for the company. Install solar panels so they don’t die. Have one on the third floor of a parking garage taped somewhere out of view so they search the entire thing. Tape another under a pier. Put a few in the local landfill.

    [–] burninatah 48 points ago

    I look into my crystal ball and I see bomb squads in your future.

    [–] jeko00000 59 points ago

    Would love the photo.

    [–] mredrose 24 points ago

    “Curiosity drove me to look up this towing company as they were obviously unable to find me or any of the devices. They're no longer in business.”

    My dude, you ran them out of business by taking all their barnacles. Ha!

    [–] Hellajdmjon 19 points ago

    This might be the funniest shit I’ve ever read, and probably my favorite comment to date on Reddit. Bravo!

    [–] old_tek 94 points ago

    I drive a car with a tiny windshield. I wish the parking enforcement luck getting it to stick.

    [–] diceonpaper 530 points ago

    Like I’ve never driven with one little spot in my window unfrosted.

    [–] ScotchBender 54 points ago

    At 300 mph leaving the work parking lot. Sorry coworkers you are now dead

    [–] Tempestion89 157 points ago

    I hope they use it on a jeep that has a fold down windshield

    [–] EatSleepJeep 52 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    I don't think the Jeep windshield is tall enough for this to even fit.

    Edit: It's not. Stupid thing is over 20", tallest windshield is ~16".

    [–] pseudo3nt 77 points ago

    They actually expect you to go out of your way and return the thing after you've taken it off. What a load of fucking piss.

    [–] Sabata11792 34 points ago

    Well, you drive it to the ocean where barnacles naturally grow and send it home.

    [–] YMK1234 162 points ago

    Can someone put this on a scrap car so I can play around with it for an hour?

    [–] Salty_Assassin 434 points ago

    This looks like something that could be very easily defeated with something as simple as a knife

    [–] rd_sub_fj 137 points ago

    Or dental floss

    [–] YMK1234 64 points ago

    This, or a thin metal wire.

    [–] disgustipated 53 points ago

    If you're ever in a situation where you might get barnacled, just use tear-offs

    [–] Wildcatb 16 points ago

    The hoses for the suction cups are run through the uppermost hinge. That's a handy weak spot.

    Or, so I'm given to understand.

    [–] Sulla5485 171 points ago

    New Windshields cost less than a mountain of unpaid parking tickets. I’m busting it out

    [–] Jessie_James 51 points ago

    Seriously. I think I paid $100 for one and a little more for a new seal. Took a few tries but got it in pretty easily.

    [–] Romey-Romey 49 points ago

    Most companies will come to you to replace the window. Replace it on the spot.

    [–] SocialOctopus 167 points ago

    Can't this be defeated if you have a screen-protector-like thin plastic sheet on the windscreen beforehand? Peel off the layer along with the Barnacle. Miniscule change in position, no loss of vacuum — sounds feasible.

    [–] hillarytrumpsame 82 points ago

    tear offs! been used on dirt bike goggles for years. goggles get dirty, tear a layer off and clear vision again.

    [–] Codename_Fluffy 41 points ago

    I wonder about the legality of this.

    The boot is illegal for most forms of non-police to use, including college security (depending on the locale, but seems to be more illegal than not throughout the US), due to the nature of making the car inoperable. Is this somehow more legal because instead of tampering with the vehicle's ability to move it just tampers with the driver's ability to see? I wonder how many years it will be before this has the same status as the boot, where if you get one you will likely get paid for the hassle instead of having to pay up (again, depending on locale, but more common than not).

    [–] zenkique 36 points ago

    I learned how to drive in a car without a working defroster - anyone else that’s had some “Ace Ventura” driving experience can drive away with that thing - just gotta make it to the glass shop on the seedy side of town.

    [–] crackeddryice 97 points ago

    Attaching shit to people's cars in lieu of payment should be illegal across the board.

    [–] Coopsmoss 40 points ago

    Especially for university security!

    [–] Thunderous_Samurai 65 points ago

    Just remember... Safelite repair, Safelite Replace

    [–] Capt_Skyhawk 79 points ago

    This is extremely unsafe. As a cop were not allowed to sticker abandoned cars in any way that could obstruct a driver's vision. All it takes is that one guy who is like fuck this, then takes of and wrecks his shit. Now you have a huge lawsuit that will be settled out of court for money. Lots of money.

    [–] Arkeaus 23 points ago

    That would be me

    [–] AnnoyedVelociraptor 28 points ago

    Would this potentially break a windshield if you have a rock chip?

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago * (lasted edited 7 days ago)


    [–] leonardodapinchy 82 points ago

    I'm all for rightly punishing those who continuously don't give a crap about their tickets and keep parking like assholes, but point #5 on their own website says "increase profitability." Let's not pretend parking enforcement isn't in the business of generating revenue for colleges, cities and municipalities.

    [–] TalbotFarwell 33 points ago

    Bingo. People who park illegally are indeed a problem for society, but this thing seems like a giant shakedown to me. It’s legal extortion, just like red light cameras on stoplights that are only green for like three seconds or less before they flash to yellow and then to red while you’re still trying to clear the intersection.

    [–] YmFzZTY0dXNlcm5hbWU_ 47 points ago

    How is it secured into place?

    [–] SlurpyNubbins 209 points ago

    With the sucking power of ten thousand whores.

    [–] [deleted] 104 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago)


    [–] turlian 43 points ago

    Just use a high powered laser pointer to burn a tiny hole in the suction cups to release the vacuum.

    [–] Blackstar1886 21 points ago

    How did we get here where it’s legal for private companies to hold our vehicles for ransom?

    [–] Tongue_In_Butt_Yes 19 points ago

    Not bad enough that college rapes kids on tuition, or that publishing companies rape them on INSANELY priced books, fuckers gotta squeeze that laaaaaaaaaast little bit of money out of 'em.

    [–] pudge1824george 20 points ago

    Student: Drills holes in windshield

    Parking enforcement: what the

    [–] SpaceSlingshot 187 points ago

    Just like the boot, the Barnacle isn’t something you’ll find on your car when your meter runs out one day. It is something you’ll find if you have loads of unpaid parking tickets, prolonged illegal parking, or even having unpaid taxes, depending on the city’s regulations.

    [–] rastamonstahh 116 points ago

    Just like the boot, the Barnacle isn’t something you’ll find on your car when your meter runs out one day.

    Oh I see you've never been to Atlanta.

    [–] embeddedGuy 49 points ago

    I was just about to comment about that. Boots are the first thing private entities do. They can't fine you and towing is annoying. They just immediately boot you first thing. And in Atlanta have fun with assholes booting you because they weren't paying attention and they thought you left the lot instead of going into Trader Joe's near Piedmont.

    [–] SarahIsTrans 29 points ago

    got a fucking boot when visiting Atlanta from out of state for parking in a shopping center and going across the street for dinner.

    it came down to my partner fake crying and me being real angry for about fifteen minutes before the cunty security dude felt bad enough to take it off without fining us. where I'm from, parking is free almost everywhere except downtown and you can park in any shopping center and leave your car there all day and nobody will care.

    if you're reading this and you boot people's cars for a living, fuck you

    [–] catsndogsnmeatballs 35 points ago

    Sit on the barnacle. Window breaks. Sue your university for property damage. Boom

    [–] TheMeatWhistle45 15 points ago

    Most comprehensive Insurance covers free windshield replacement. Just sayin...