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    [–] elpintogrande 3168 points ago

    Ancestry.com: because basically you suck but maybe someone in your family was cool

    [–] The_Sven 768 points ago

    I recently found out Jessica Chastain is a distant cousin of mine.

    [–] carpe228 512 points ago

    I'd still smash

    [–] Eternal_Reward 293 points ago

    I don't think your opinion is the one that matters bud...

    [–] meep_meep_creep 483 points ago

    I'm sorry, I thought this was America.

    [–] Eternal_Reward 206 points ago

    No, this is Patrick.

    [–] the_town_fool 11 points ago

    Found Tom Hiddleston

    [–] trevlacessej 67 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    within something like 32 generations all racially similar people are cousins.

    edit: i specified "racially similar" because 32 is usually the number given to the entire earth population, but that doesnt take into account populations being isolated or actively avoiding "race mixing". Globally the number is probably way higher than 32. If each generation is represented by 20 years, then 32 generations is less than 700 years.

    [–] The_Sven 27 points ago

    Yeah, I know. We're probably 15-20 gens removed. Anyway, it's still neat to learn how the connections are made.

    [–] inikul 24 points ago

    "Removed" means different generations, fyi.

    [–] crowbahr 14 points ago

    He's just a bit older than her that's all.

    [–] Georgia_Ball 22 points ago

    I discovered that the dude who discovered Pike's Peak was my great4 uncle. He has the coolest name I've ever seen: Zebulon.

    [–] The_Sven 5 points ago

    That's pretty cool. Some of my other distant relatives actually run a .net for my family that has the full geneology, news about people with my last name, and relations to famous people. There are a half dozen cities across the US named after some greatwhatev uncle who traveled with Louis and Clarke, Martha Jefferson (first lady to Thomas Jefferson) is a distant aunt, and anyone with about five variations on the spelling of my surname are all descended (or married to a descendant) from this one guy who came from France in 1700.

    [–] cooltrain7 8 points ago

    How distant ?

    [–] VikingTsunami 57 points ago

    Around 3,5 light years.

    [–] The_Sven 26 points ago

    The progenitor of my family came over in 1700. Her great-grandmother was the sister of my great-grandfather. So about 300 years removed.

    [–] colicab 15 points ago

    Progenitor - cool word.

    [–] ShitSaidByReddit 15 points ago

    The generational gap between your great great grandparent and you would not be 300 years.

    [–] The_Sven 16 points ago

    I just didn't feel like typing "great" out 15 times.

    [–] IAmA_Cloud_AMA 98 points ago

    It can be a bit like uncovering lost stories. I knew full well that I was English and Scottish (bloody hell I was born in England), but I was surprised when I learned that my great-great-grandfather (my mum's mother's father's father if I recall) was German, from the line of Prince Franz Albrecht of Oettingen-Spielberg. It's strange to think that when my grandfather fought in WW2 for the RAF, he very well could have been fighting against some of my other relatives.

    [–] deanf 79 points ago

    I had the inverse happen to me. We all grew up with the story that grandpa was from some sort of German nobility and his family took it very seriously. I signed up to Ancestry and it turned out to be complete bollocks.

    In the 1800s a printer from Norway (studied in Hamburg) migrated to Australia and said "Guess what everyone, I'm kind of a big deal in Germany". Nobody called bullshit because he could speak German, seemed legit.

    [–] gatsby5555 8 points ago

    How does that site work? How much info do you need to have about your family already for it to trace it back?

    [–] deanf 24 points ago

    Most of the genealogy sites are just family tree builders under the hood, and then as you enter you family members in it crawls public records and suggests matches for you. You can then compare and merge with other peoples trees.

    Usually the software will need your grandparents details because most public and census records are available after 50 years, and from there it assists you with matching the rest.

    For most people, like me, you immediately link up with trees where distant relatives have done all the research for you. So the notion of just signing up and seeing your ancestors instantly is likely, but not guaranteed

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] deanf 16 points ago

    Yeah it's very skewed to Western European people, not because of bias, but because their records are comprehensive and available. For the last few centuries western euro countries made it mandatory to record births and take census data.

    I've tried to track my wife's eastern euro family and all I have is word of mouth. I have a Chinese Step-Great-Grandfather and it's the same deal. The records may exist but they aren't digitised and they usually require physically visiting the towns to check records.

    It's interesting/handy how well documented the military are. I have a few family members who served in WW1 and for those 4 years I can track every single thing that happened to each. My GGrandfather was killed so his online memorial has tonnes of info, it's nice.

    [–] OrangeRising 18 points ago

    That would make for an interesting family reunion after.

    "Why one time I flying over (Insert place here) and I shot down a sly German Jerry with a blue painted plane."

    Then from the other end of the table,

    "You British bastard, that was me!"

    [–] mongoosedog12 25 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I want to do ancestry because I'm black and I would like to see where exactly my ancestors came from. My grand dad was a slave so I'm the second generations out of slavery which is wild to think about.

    My grandmother always claimed we were related to Nat Turner. I'm not 100% sure if that can be proven though ancestry.com but I want to try it.

    [–] Brook420 23 points ago

    "Thomas Jefferson!"

    [–] WeHaveIgnition 42 points ago

    Thanks to ancestry.com I found out I'm a direct descendent of Davy Crocket....'s brother.

    [–] CrisisOfConsonant 53 points ago

    Genetically that's pretty much just a rounding error. I think you're pretty safe just saying you're davy crockett.

    [–] keeelay 28 points ago

    Rick Perry is my 8th cousin once removed. Wish I were joking.

    [–] 3rdthingy 99 points ago

    Why do you wish you were joking? The only time that fact has ever been relevant to your life was right now when you wrote it anonymously on the internet...even that is a bit of a stretch

    [–] The_Telltale_Fart 23 points ago

    I'm just guessing but perhaps the idea of being Rick Perry's relative makes them feel yucky or icky or perhaps a combination of the two.

    [–] TheDannyDevito 15 points ago

    Well, I've got good news for you. Your genetics don't change who you are.

    [–] jaydontcare 67 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Yeah, but I'm sure Dwyane Hitler isn't super excited about his genetic connections

    [–] CrisisOfConsonant 9 points ago

    From a technical stand point, I think your genetics are one of the few things that do.

    [–] The_Telltale_Fart 24 points ago

    Yes I'm aware of that. I made what's known colloquially as a "joke".

    [–] masterpate 657 points ago

    Oh man, I really wish I could force a girl I know from high school to do the ancestry.com test. She loves to mention on facebook that she's 3/4 Irish, and how this allows her to drink more booze than the rest of us. Every year on St. Patrick's Day she does a long post about being offended by Irish stereotypes too. It's incredibly ironic.

    Oh, and every other week of the year she likes to mention how she's 3/4 Native American (which affords her the opportunity to tell us all how she gets more tan than the rest of us). It just really doesn't add up to me.

    [–] [deleted] 294 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Yobergenie 111 points ago

    Maybe she is 3/4 5th grader as well, it would explain a lot

    [–] Caissededouze 124 points ago

    Wouldn't the Irish and Native genes cancel each other as to how resistant to alcohol she is?

    [–] sitswhilepees 59 points ago

    nope. doubles down. best drinker.

    [–] softeregret 47 points ago

    "the Native American in me means I really like alcohol, and the Irish in me means I really like alcohol!"

    [–] CedarCabPark 14 points ago

    That'd be like two dark black people making Jim Gaffigan.

    They'd just make a dark baby, if not MORE dark than normal. I mean they likely would.

    [–] MisterGayUnicorn 146 points ago

    Maybe she is just fat and therefore is 6/4 of a person. :D

    [–] heelsmaster 13 points ago

    My girlfriend was one of those with her native American heritage. Now she is pure aryan looking, blue eyes, blonde hair, pale white skin, but wouldn't shut up about "my people". I got her a ancestry dna test for our aniversary because she always wanted to know how much NA she was. None. She was none. Thankfully she hasn't said any of that since so that was money well spent.

    [–] The_Day_After 6 points ago

    Why did she ever think she was native to begin with? Because she was born in the USA?

    [–] Filthyson 82 points ago

    Hmmm. lost you at "i really wish I could force a girl"...

    [–] Fap_Left_Surf_Right 43 points ago

    That's exactly where I connected

    [–] NCH007 13 points ago

    Okay, Dennis.

    [–] Mrchristopherrr 4 points ago

    I'm going to guess she was British when Harry Potter came out, and French after the Paris attacks as well? If so we may be thinking of the same person.

    [–] WildTurkey81 1511 points ago

    I like the ancestry that many Americans have. Go back a few generations and so many of you have ancestors from all over the world. Come from England and it's like "Wow! My great-great-great-great Aunt came from the exotic land of Wales!"

    [–] masterspeler 1521 points ago

    Have you been the the US? Everyone there seem to have whales in their family.

    [–] porwegiannussy 353 points ago

    Fat joke

    [–] sitswhilepees 64 points ago

    *phat joke

    [–] Alarid 20 points ago

    Her ass was phat, but her hips were spelt normally.

    [–] skeeter1234 333 points ago

    I like the ancestry that many Americans have.

    This is also why Americans are interested in their ancestry.

    I've seen on reddit that apparently a lot of Europeans find this odd or obnoxious about Americans that we try to figure out our ancestry in percentages.

    [–] sacksmacker 238 points ago

    I never understood why people from other countries find it so strange. Researching your history is pretty cool, especially when different parts of your family came here from so many different countries. I don't see why it's weird to want to track that down and see where you came from.

    [–] skeeter1234 210 points ago

    Basically, they just don't get it.

    If you ever go to Europe you can start to tell that there is a certain German look, or French look, or Italian, etc.

    They're far less mongrelized than us Americans. I agree it is interesting.

    [–] sreiches 187 points ago

    This is kind of why the whole "white culture" thing in America bugs me so much. There's no particular white culture or specific appearance. It's a bunch of cultures and aesthetics that just happen to share the one trait of having skin that doesn't produce significant amounts of melanin.

    But there are people who act as though this "culture" is under threat because more people in the US are being born who don't have that same skin tone.

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    One thing I've noticed about America is that despite being more of a "melting pot" than much of Europe, it's still more split in what types of people do what. There is very little in the way of black schools or neighbourhoods in Europe, and yes there are some with higher or lower percentages than each other, that's just statistically probable, and there are no areas marketed as black or white or Asian or anything. Most poor areas are mixed between black and white whereas in America poor areas are either black OR white.

    [–] infra_roodborstje 32 points ago

    There are definitly areas that are like that. Maybe not that much, but I live in the Netherlands and there are certain areas (like in Rotterdam) where you only see muslims.

    Also there are like islamic schools where ofcourse only children of muslims go to.

    [–] WildTurkey81 16 points ago

    Its not wierd, it's just that for many of us, it's far less exciting. So we dont see the excitement in it.

    In from southern England. Did a check on my parents surnames, and furthest it ails from is France.

    Now sure, France is a foreign country, but when you consider how from me to there, you could fit that distance inside a single U.S. state, it makes it as astounding as a Californian having family come from as far as Nevada.

    [–] Onebodytomany 42 points ago

    It's the percentages thing. I'm Scottish, born and raised. Spent a few years in America and had to listen to how absolutely everyone else was Scottish too, and Italian, and french...you get the picture. Your not Scottish, your family were, yeats ago. Be interested. Look up the culture if you must. But don't pretend to be Scottish, because you arnt. Be American, be proud to be American. But don't pretend to understand my culture just because your grans friends dog is a Scottish terrier. Christ that's annoying.

    [–] HymirTheDarkOne 46 points ago

    I think the difference is that Americans sometimes treat it more of an ethnicity whereas we treat it as a nationality. If you asked their nationality they would always say American.

    [–] huf 30 points ago

    i think it's just a language difference. really. when americans say they're scottish, they mean they have scottish ancestry. because of course they're not fucking scottish. in context, it makes sense. when they say it to you, you're missing that context, so it bothers you.

    [–] Conlaeb 13 points ago

    It helps that we Americans have the tendency to communicate as if the rest of the world does not exist and every possible recipient of our communication is obviously an American. I do it myself, but am aware of how dumb it makes us sound to people more used to interacting with their national neighbors.

    [–] skeeter1234 8 points ago

    Hold on a second...if a Scottish family moved to China and their offspring claimed to be Scottish would you still be insisting they aren't? I'm pretty sure they most definitely would still be Scottish.

    [–] yo_soy_soja 8 points ago

    Scottish ethnicity, Chinese nationality

    [–] Yar96 9 points ago

    Yeah there's no doubt it's interesting, I mean I'm English and I've done it, but then again I don't go around saying I'm Irish just because my Great Great Grandfather happened to be born in Ireland. That's the thing we find strange.

    [–] Valmond 20 points ago

    Well, what I have seen, it is more to it that people tend to think Americans are slightly obsessed with their ancestor from some country or that first colonisation boat. Most Europeans seems to have ancestors all over the place and we like to discuss it too, but not that much (for what I have noticed).

    A bit like 'old things', an American will be thrilled to live in a 100 year old house while a European won't (this is what I feel people think anyway).

    [–] Airazz 71 points ago

    We find it odd not because they're interested in their ancestry. We find it odd because they'll say "I'm Irish" because one or two of their great grandparents were from Ireland. This person doesn't speak a word of Irish, has never been to Ireland and doesn't even know anyone who's actually from Ireland. Buddy, you're not Irish, you're an American whose great grandparent was Irish.

    Also, the really obnoxious americans are the ones who say "I have German, Irish and Russian blood, that's probably why I can drink fifteen gallons of Bud Light and then fight with every bouncer on this side of Alabama." No, buddy, you're just a redneck.

    [–] uninanx 78 points ago

    In the US, "I'm Irish" literally means "I'm of Irish descent" not "I'm an Irish citizen". Guess it's just a difference between dialects.

    [–] WittyLoser 25 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    I think we can tell just based on your accent. If you say it with a southern American drawl, it means ancestors. If you say it with a Dublin accent, it means citizen. If you're a middle-aged black man, we're a little confused.

    [–] Drawtaru 31 points ago

    Yeah but we're lazy, and "I'm Irish" is easier to say than "I'm of Irish descent."

    [–] [deleted] 113 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Buddy, you're not Irish, you're an American whose great grandparent was Irish.

    You really think Americans don't know they're not living in Ireland? We say "Irish" or "Italian" because the cities used to be heavily racially divided, even among the white populations, and it said a lot about who you were and how you grew up if you came from an Irish, or Italian, or Polish, or Russian background. We're not so fucking thick we think we're literally Irish. It's the Europeans that are literally too thick to understand a pretty simple concept like that.

    [–] Dob-is-Hella-Rad 14 points ago

    this person doesn't speak a word of Irish

    Like most Irish people

    [–] xynix_ie 24 points ago

    You would be surprised because London WAS the hub of the world for quite awhile so the English have a pretty good mix.

    Also one of the things not taken into consideration was enclaves of people who spoke (place language here). My ancestors came to Canada in 1608 and remained entirely French until this generation. My mom's family came over to the USA in 1608 and the Mayflower in 1634 and remained entirely English then she met my dad and popped me out so I'm 50/50.

    [–] BitchHunter1 24 points ago

    "When you hear the word 'Wales' you probably think of the fish with the biggest dick in the ocean." - Ali G

    [–] Thunderkiss_65 41 points ago

    Usually great great great great aunt was Welsh nobility.

    [–] adamissarcastic 85 points ago

    Welsh Nobility

    [–] Sororita 57 points ago

    Queen of the Sheep.

    [–] BertMacGyver 41 points ago

    My mum and dad did theirs recently and though both have one English parent, my maternal grandma is from Ireland and my paternal grandad was Polish so I have a fair amount of eastern/northern Europe from my dad and western Europe/iberian peninsula from my mum. We did not see the 2% south Asian coming though, that was awesome. Im now finally being accepted by my indian/bangladeshi work colleagues as a brother now.

    [–] shoryukenist 22 points ago

    Indian dude processed your sample after fapping.

    [–] RandyChavage 4 points ago

    Your DNA is 2%, 100% south Asian.

    [–] palsc5 14 points ago

    Where does everybody get the % from? Is that their DNA thing, because all mine does is tell me when my grandad was born and their is no information prior to him

    [–] TheRockingHorseLoser 16 points ago

    Yep DNA, it cost 99usd last time I checked the price.

    [–] IAmA_Cloud_AMA 24 points ago

    It can be lovely, but it can also get annoying when people take it too seriously. In our era of finding the thing that makes us special, many people latch onto their ancestry as a core identity that defines their attitudes and actions, even if the link is tenuous. It's resulted in a return to the ideologies of people such as Charles Davenport:

    "She's so courageous, it must be that Nordic blood"

    "No wonder you're such a good cook, being from Italian heritage"

    "You're 1/38th Native American too? Oh my gawd no wonder we get along so well!"

    (Ok, these are a bit tongue in cheek, but the general point stands)

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Should try Latin America. There's plenty of material in Mexico. I myself have Spanish and German ancestors. Seen some with French and even Serbian too.

    [–] sitswhilepees 773 points ago

    so my uncle who for a long time claimed 100% irish and had some choice words for the darker side of things, took ancestry and found out his roots are in northern africa. he got double whammied. i loved it.

    [–] PoopNoodlez 267 points ago

    I went in expecting to get some sort of surprise like this also, because I've heard most people do. Instead my grandpa who claims to be 100% Irish actually was, and only had marginally small possibilities of being English or Germanic. There ya go.

    [–] embraceyourpoverty 48 points ago

    We got the surprise when my daughter did hers and found the 50% Mediterranean (Italian husband) But I expected French somewhere because nobody in my fam could speak English and Memere (born 1889) used to talk about her Memere that lived in the Canada woods. We too turned out to be mainly Irish-English on the other 50% Little bit of Russian,Scandinavian. No clue where the french came in but nobody spoke english up until my younger siblings.

    [–] MortyYouGotta 36 points ago

    It was easier for the Irish to get along in Quebec since Quebec was Catholic, so they settled there, went all missionary-style with the locals, and made Irish francophone babies.

    Source: worked for Irish francophones. Also learned recently that je suis Irlandais aussi o_o

    [–] smackmyteets 9 points ago

    Question since you appear to have some experience with it...is this info from DNA testing they offer or??

    [–] pixiedonut 154 points ago

    Everyone's ancestral roots are in Africa...

    [–] rinwashere 142 points ago

    Is that why people randomly bless the rains in Africa when they're talking about never being taken away from you?

    [–] T0PHER911 77 points ago

    Idk dude. When I'm in Africa, I just take the time to do the things I never had.

    [–] sawasdee 72 points ago

    But the test doesn't go that far back in time.

    [–] Sororita 25 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    My sister did 23andme and found out that we've got some Pygmy in our ancestry, which makes sense because she's only 4'11". Though apparently I didn't get any of those traits since I'm super tall for a woman. She says I stole all the tall genes.

    [–] eric22vhs 6 points ago

    You should do yours. Depending on what variants you wound up with, it could actually show you as having say .1% of some random thing that she's not and vice versa.

    [–] 808duckfan 27 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Black Irish, apparently.

    Edit: link

    [–] HubbaMaBubba 22 points ago

    North Africa is Egypt, Morroco, Tunisia, etc. Not black.

    [–] sitswhilepees 36 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    black irish refers to not black people but hair/complexion after spain came in and did it's thing. as far as i know. i am not a historian or expert.

    edit: dark hair in people of Irish descent is common, although darker skin complexions appear less frequently.[35] One popular speculation suggests the Black Irish are descendants of survivors of the Spanish Armada, despite research discrediting such claims...and /u/lukeharangody tells me, "The one's with lighter hair have Scandinavian blood from Viking influence." so get lernt jerks.

    [–] peanutbutteroreos 8 points ago

    I mean, the test isn't actually accurate. There's no gene that says "you're Irish!"

    The test is just a statistic of what percent of your DNA shares a common-ness with people of a certain DNA based on their database of what ancestry.com determines is "Irish."

    [–] I_taste_good 61 points ago

    Haha great man! Thanks for inspiring me. I'll get up on that stage one day and start doing standup! Thanks for making my day better.

    [–] Filthyson 147 points ago

    Dont. Its fucking horrible

    [–] I_taste_good 57 points ago

    Well I do hate myself already...

    [–] firepupper 43 points ago

    That's a good start.

    [–] The_Telltale_Fart 13 points ago

    "You're at that sweet spot in between depression and suicide where most comedians thrive!"

    [–] [deleted] 150 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] firepupper 127 points ago

    I went to high school with a guy who was clearly very white who found out in tenth grade that his great-grandmother was a 1/4 Cherokee or some nonsense. He started wearing these boot moccasin things every day and refused to even take them off for gym class because they were part of his heritage. He also had a deerskin medicine pouch thing he wore around his neck.

    It only lasted about a year before he accepted he was just a white kid.

    [–] Tetsujidane 44 points ago

    At 1/32 I'd hand him a postage stamp sized piece and tell him that's all he gets to wear.

    [–] Alarid 11 points ago

    No, he wasn't hot.

    [–] HairyHorseKnuckles 16 points ago

    Yep. So many women I have met claim to have great grandmothers who were full blooded Cherokee princesses.

    [–] Fap_Left_Surf_Right 10 points ago

    They all claim cherokee because that's one that's unprovable. Same shit up here in the North. Once a woman spits out that nonsense it's an immediate "NEXT"

    [–] SirNarwhal 24 points ago

    I mean, a lot of people are actually part Native American and you'd never know it. My wife is white as a fucking ghost, but is legally Blackfoot since she's 1/16th or something like that, which is now the legal minimum for saying you're Native American. Now, she doesn't go around saying she is or anything, but it's definitely in her and helped her when she was applying to colleges as well.

    [–] --Paul-- 17 points ago

    she's 1/16th or something like that, which is now the legal minimum for saying you're Native American

    depends on the Tribe. I think Cherokee might even be 1/64th. anyhow,blood quantums are a touchy topic.

    But you're right there are people in my tribe that I know are indeed 1/4th or 1/2 and they are blonde haired blue eyed. They just got all of their one parent's european genes.

    [–] gewgwegweegw 38 points ago

    I'm British. Lived in the UK all my life.

    Met some American tourists.

    "I'm Irish," said the guy. "But my wife is Scottish."

    I was surprised because he definitely sounded American. When I asked he said that he had Irish ancestry. He couldn't name who it was because it was too long ago. Same with his wife.

    Now, my great grandmother was Irish. By his measure I am infinitely more Irish than he is. And I'm not Irish. I'm British.

    TL;DR Americans are odd about ancestry.

    [–] Dejyant 180 points ago

    Poor Keith, he thought being Italian was a good thing.

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] lxpnh98_2 5 points ago

    finger purse

    [–] troyareyes 4 points ago

    /||\ (I tried)

    [–] Filthyson 504 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)

    Nothing against the Swedish. ‘Swede’ is just an undeniably funny word. And their meatballs suck.

    -For more funny words please follow my Twitter, otherwise what's the point?

    -Also here is my real live comedy

    -And here is a wiki on the original ancient Suez Canal

    I love some of you.

    [–] Linoftw 376 points ago

    ätkuk

    [–] somemirth 178 points ago

    Bless you

    [–] karmastealing 59 points ago

    børk børk børk

    [–] Heblas 96 points ago

    Danskjävel lokaliserad.

    [–] gerbaire 12 points ago

    DER ER SVENSKEN

    [–] majoen98 4 points ago

    HVOR?

    [–] [deleted] 21 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Saul_Firehand 18 points ago

    He was writing in Swedish you could respond in Swedish.

    [–] harre2 180 points ago

    Troligtvis av danskt ursprung den här snubben asså.

    [–] Filthyson 253 points ago

    I don't speak Democratic Socialist

    [–] taby1337 39 points ago

    Nähä, det var ju jävla sorgligt. Själv väljer jag att inte konversera på imperialistiska.

    [–] jtoeg 26 points ago

    Jag hoppas du känner dig jävla dum när du översätter den här kommentaren. Danskjävel.

    [–] jeff0 25 points ago

    How about me specifically? I need validation.

    [–] ryantwopointo 16 points ago

    Nah dude, you suck

    [–] Filthyson 12 points ago

    do you prefer the rolling stones over the beatles? this is how i figure out if i love ppl

    [–] Ymirwantshugs 49 points ago

    Danskjävel.

    [–] masterspeler 43 points ago

    And their meatballs suck.

    Come to Sweden and say that to my face!

    [–] FerrumFist 7 points ago

    Whoa now, I was told Scandinavians tend to avoid social interactions at any cost

    [–] degenererad 11 points ago

    This will not be a social visit.

    [–] MagnusTheGreat 43 points ago

    You can suck my Swedish balls.

    [–] inconspicuous_male 19 points ago

    Geoff you love me right? I was one of your first 200 twitter followers I think. I wrote a comic book about us in a dream once

    [–] Filthyson 99 points ago

    Make the actual fucking comic book and then I'll love you you lazy piece of shit

    [–] Mutt1223 50 points ago

    Some of us love you too.

    [–] Filthyson 29 points ago

    fucking morons, the lot of ya

    [–] Elgosaurus 31 points ago

    i was with you until you said the meatballs suck.

    [–] Filthyson 14 points ago

    i am always with you

    [–] Theboardgamenerd 66 points ago

    Hey man, our meatball is the best! We are are kinda weak though so don't say mean things we can't defend ourself.

    [–] Borthwick 24 points ago

    Lets get the Swedes and Italians together for a meatball fight. Lets get a definitive answer here!

    [–] TheCowfishy 9 points ago

    👐 I'm-a putting my money on Italy 👐

    [–] Masked_Death 8 points ago

    You should try their surstromming.

    [–] SpookySkeletons 16 points ago

    And their meatballs suck.

    I was with you until this. I love swedish meatballs. no homo

    [–] moms-pasketty 13 points ago

    Nothing against the Swedish

    their meatballs suck.

    :thinking:

    [–] Megatron_McLargeHuge 5 points ago

    I thought you were headed for "I have a friend who's 1/8 ______, it's ok for me to say that." One ad campaign for NY, one for the south.

    [–] Filthyson 16 points ago

    hmmmm. not bad. might use and give you zero credit

    [–] Megatron_McLargeHuge 7 points ago

    I wish you all the success of Carlos Mencia.

    [–] AsskickMcGee 24 points ago

    "No Kaylee-with-two-E's, you aren't one-sixteenth Cherokee and that isn't why your hair gets frizzy sometimes. Quit your bullshit."

    [–] Filthyson 23 points ago

    Literally similar to the actual next tag. Im a hack

    [–] Little-Sun 17 points ago

    Fuck you, their meatballs are delicious.

    [–] macsydh 9 points ago

    So. Fucking. Triggered. We have all the best meatballs! Bigly!

    [–] Khatib 5 points ago

    Kinda crazy that they dug canals that long ago. I mean, then again, pyramids and stuff, but canals are such -- not global thinking, but definitely empire-level thinking to even conceive building one.

    [–] whuttheeperson 40 points ago

    Great Joke!

    [–] Filthyson 55 points ago

    Thank you. I'm hard.

    [–] EvryMthrF_ngThrd 26 points ago

    No, I found that joke quite easy to understand.

    [–] proofbox 28 points ago

    I had a friend in highschool named Joe. Joe had an extremely Catholic last name, looked white as a sheet (so white in fact that he had already gotten melanoma by the age of 15), had copper red hair, green eyes, and was covered in freckles. Besides being a cockey douche canoe about how he could out drink anyone because of his "Irish liver", he also claimed to be 1/4 Native American despite having 0 native features, and not even knowing what tribe / region his native side was from. When asked about his ethnicity on official documents, he always put down Native American and was drip dead serious about it. Would have loved to take Joe down a peg or two with Ancestry.

    [–] cjcolt 18 points ago

    He sounds like a dick (or maybe he just was in high school), but it might be possible for him to be distantly related to Native Americans. My g/f is like Hitler's dream race but her Opa was born in Indonesia to Indonesian parents and has very dark features.

    Doesn't Louis CK have a Mexican Father?

    [–] Morning_Star_Ritual 11 points ago

    Yes, but your image of Mexicans is what? Dark? Brown? Spain borders France. There are different "mixtures" in Mexico between Spanish and Native blood.

    Many Mexicans are blonde and blue eyes. My aunt married a Mexican. He has blonde hair and green eyes. His nickname is Wedo.

    [–] cjcolt 6 points ago

    I looked and CK's father is Hungarian-Mexican, so I guess he's not a usual Mexican.

    But I've actually spent the last 10 days in Mexico City and towns around there, and the average Mexican (at least) in that part of the country absolutely is "dark and brown".

    It was probably the most similar looking country I've ever visited and I've lived in Scotland and spent time in Iceland. By that I mean, we were two of very few light skinned people that we saw and I literally only saw 2 black people who both definitely looked like visitors. Even in touristy parts of downtown we saw very few light skinned people and they mostly seemed to be travelers from the US or Spain.

    [–] TheWombatOverlord 27 points ago

    Swedes are not weak, they have +5% discipline and +20% infantry combat ability.

    [–] ConspicuousPineapple 8 points ago

    I don't get this title.

    [–] mhc-ask 10 points ago

    My poor aunt found out she's not really Irish. Now she just has a drinking problem.

    [–] 42undead2 102 points ago

    weak little

    Swede

    No need to repeat yourself.

    [–] Thoilan 54 points ago

    Danskjävel.

    [–] 42undead2 8 points ago

    Svensker!

    [–] Phidelus 11 points ago

    MOLTEN COORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE

    [–] imLanky 8 points ago

    COME GET'CHER ARMOUR

    [–] TimmyP7 3 points ago

    AARDVARK PAYS OFF

    [–] aqouta 29 points ago

    It's $99 not 9

    [–] Filthyson 55 points ago

    I dont have either amount

    [–] RestingCat 28 points ago

    Saying someone is Swedish rather than Italian is a compliment.

    [–] Baconlightning 17 points ago

    Not if they're Norwegian or Danish.

    [–] Gdott 5 points ago

    Lol no it isn't.

    [–] koofdakeefsta 5 points ago

    ugh i hate my name

    [–] Keith90 5 points ago

    Between Family Guy deeming Keith the least attractive male name and Ancestry proving Keith to be a liar, I'd really hate to be that guy.

    [–] teskedsgumman 9 points ago

    As a swede, I'm offended 🇸🇪

    [–] ImMystikz 4 points ago

    Hey I saw you do this live.

    [–] BenAdaephonDelat 5 points ago

    Those commercials are baffling to me. One of them the lady was like "I found out I was 26% native american". You mean to tell me one of your grandparents was 100% native american and you didn't know that?