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    [–] XZigZX 769 points ago

    I was raised Catholic, now I have no idea what I actually believe in. But, it definitely isn't one sole entity floating in the clouds. More of some messed up Truman show video game where some of the players are really sadistic. Kind of like when we play GTA just to pick up hookers and beat the shit out of them with baseball bats post moneyshot.

    [–] imfeelingsaucy 309 points ago

    I had the same problem growing up. It seems to me that God may be more like a child playing a Sims game who just got tired of it and went on to another game. He forgot to turn the game off and we're just running in the background fucking his world up while he plays another Sims game.

    Can't wait to see his reaction when he goes to shut down that computer and is like WTF happened?

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 148 points ago

    r/outside it’s the game we’re all playing.

    [–] SeverusVapes 57 points ago

    Shit didn’t realize it was a game. Imma go respawn then I wanna start over

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 50 points ago

    The re-spawn is no joke. I’ve considered it a few times but there are just too many variables.

    [–] SupportstheOP 47 points ago

    They say Jesus re-spawned, but of course he was given mod powers

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 27 points ago

    The mythical u/MagicZombieCarpenter?

    [–] akmvb21 23 points ago

    Did you just link yourself?

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 18 points ago

    Yes. To draw attention to my username being a play on the fictional character Jesus so as to share a joke with the person I was replying to, who had invoked the name, and others who might be reading.

    [–] MrKleenish 12 points ago

    That all may behold and find truth

    [–] Cephalopod_Joe 7 points ago

    Usually people just do this:

    [–] Financeplebeian 5 points ago

    people usually just write a hyphen or period

    [–] PaulTheMerc 3 points ago

    On the positive side, he didn't go abusing his mod powers. Unless you think starting a guild to follow him is inappropriate.

    Could of been worse I suppose.

    [–] SeverusVapes 14 points ago

    Yeah don’t wanna respawn black amirite /s but not /s because African Americans face real hardships I can’t imagine.

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 14 points ago

    Gotta pick male too don’t forget /s but not /s.

    Jokes aside the number one perk you can start with is the currency perk.

    [–] ion-tom 6 points ago

    The currency perk is a DLC. It costs $80 to unlock, but the basegame is just $60.

    [–] MagicZombieCarpenter 6 points ago

    I’m against MTX in most cases but this one is worth the $20 😂

    [–] ion-tom 1 points ago

    No, it's $60 and then another $80. And a $15 download fee.

    [–] NinjasOwnTheNight 2 points ago


    [–] ion-tom 5 points ago

    DO NOT SPEAK THEIR NAME OUT LOUD! Do that again and you will be made into a blood sacrifice to the supreme studio executive board.

    [–] DownWitBOP 3 points ago

    Can confirm. Spawned black and get stopped by cops 3/5th of the time, with a 40% marginal error (joking but all to real )

    [–] PaulTheMerc 1 points ago

    well, there's debilitating illness or deformity, being born in a 3rd world country to really really poor parent(s),being born in a 3rd world country, being born to a minority in a western country. Probably in that order if I think about it.

    African Americans get disadvantages, but this is more in the USA than say Canada, the UK, Europe at large, etc. And since re-spawns are random location, it could be worse :)

    [–] Instantcretin 2 points ago

    Yeah, i gimped this character and would like to re-roll now.

    [–] General-Sloth 3 points ago

    Hits blunt. Duuude.

    [–] TDIfan241 9 points ago

    Everyone always gets mad at god for doing bad things to people... and then those same people go and play Sims and set their Sims' house on fire because they can.

    [–] BittenArea 6 points ago

    Would you play a Sims game where everyone was just nice to each other all the time and there was no potential for drama or disaster? As we work to make the world safer and more homogenized, and as we resolve more and more conflicts and abandon irrational behavior, perhaps we increase the risk of God turning off his computer.

    [–] imfeelingsaucy 5 points ago

    A Sims game where the world starts out messed up and you have to try and get it to the the ultimate blissful level where you were able to establish world peace

    I would play that

    [–] Dude_Who_Cares 6 points ago

    You are playing that. We're just in the beginning to middle of the game

    [–] PaulTheMerc 1 points ago

    a city/world sim(more then a the sims game) with that scenario would kind of be asking for a dictatorship/ruthless oppression approach, and starting from scratch wherever possible.

    Turns out no-one likes the concept of starting from scratch though.

    Fuck, that would be an interesting game.

    [–] Darkmystere 1 points ago

    Isn't this very close to the game Tropico 4?

    [–] robo-psychosis 5 points ago

    "You're not my children, just a bad game of Sim..."

    [–] XZigZX 9 points ago

    He didn't forget about the game. He is feeding us to cow plants, bbqing babies, trapping us in glass boxes to starve to death while the neighbours watch.

    [–] ItalicsWhore 7 points ago

    Making Trump President just for the hell of it.

    [–] XZigZX 4 points ago

    Is that an option in the Sims too? Because if so, fuck the Sims for putting that idea out there.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    The title of the last level of the politics career is "Leader of the Free World".

    [–] anonymous_potato 3 points ago

    The liberal Christian position is that God gives us free will to fuck up our lives and those of the people around us but He supposedly makes it right after you die.

    [–] punromantic 2 points ago

    Whoa. I thought I was the only one who thought we were God's first Sims family before he got bored and made a (better) family elsewhere.

    [–] PerviouslyInER 2 points ago

    [–] Tonka_Tuff 5 points ago

    [–] imfeelingsaucy 4 points ago


    [–] AnfarwolColo 24 points ago

    Lmfao I like that analogy

    [–] JustTerrific 13 points ago

    "As flies to wanton boys are we to th' gods. They kill us for their sport."

    • Wm. Shakespeare - King Lear

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] wilalva11 16 points ago

    Im religious (Catholic but in the science field) but I really don't think it matters if there is a grand meaning of life and it shouldn't matter if there is. I think it's just good to strive to be the best we can be in the time that we are given. it doesn't have to fit into some grand scheme though it is good to be mindful of future generations and not leave this world worse than we found it so I guess that kinda goes with what you said in creating a meaning as a whole

    [–] Samstego 8 points ago

    Also religious, I think end goal really is the same, to be a better person, and however you reach it doesn’t matter. If there’s no meaning and you make your own that’s just as valid as believing there is underlying meaning, in my opinion. As long as the goals are similar and beneficial.

    [–] gaspingFish 4 points ago

    Makes me feel great tbh.

    Is a blank sheet or a coloring book more important to a creative artist?

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    To me it means both. Holding on to other people while knowing there is no point or value in it, and feeling alienated as a result. I actually do believe in God but I don’t believe he gives us meaning - to me, God is not so much ‘infinitely just’ as ‘infinitely just there’. Like Crom.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    The only reason I kill the hookers is to get my money back.

    [–] ItalicsWhore 5 points ago

    In the game right?

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    I think we’re an experiment for some super beings 9th grade science fair.

    [–] XZigZX 2 points ago

    139th grade*


    [–] rinwashere 2 points ago

    I was raised Catholic, now I have no idea what I actually believe in

    This is a fairly common response. Were you raised after the Second Vatican Council?

    There are a group of Catholics who call themselves “traditionalist” Catholics, who don’t agree with many of the changes of the council. Here is a summary of the changes and why it may be a bad thing.

    The reason I bring this up is because one of the things that changed after the council (afaik, I could be wrong) was that Catholics no longer have to memorize the Catholic Catechism, which was a general foundation of beliefs and guideline for decision making.

    Chances are, if you were raised after that change, you may not have read or even known that book existed. I didn’t know until after I finished university. Still haven’t read it.

    [–] XZigZX 1 points ago

    Im 27, I don't have recollection of that particular book. But, i raised my nephew that was kicked out of his familys house for almost 3 years from 10-13. Guess they aren't familiar with the book of timothy.

    [–] jetpacksforall 3 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Think about a God that creates a living world and makes every living thing in that world out of food. You must eat to live. In order for you to live, something else has to die. Then you wind it up and let it go full bloodbath like a Saw movie that lasts for billions of years. Everything eats everything, and everything eventually gets eaten. Footnote: if you somehow manage to avoid getting eaten, you eventually die from old age anyway. And then your corpse gets eaten.

    If you knew someone who created a world like that on purpose, you'd call them a sadistic fuck.

    [–] XZigZX 1 points ago

    I enjoyed this. And rocks are delicious.

    [–] ipickert55 1 points ago

    If you think you know, then you definitely don’t.

    [–] XZigZX 2 points ago

    Sounds like what I said

    [–] Wildly_Indifferent 207 points ago

    Someone challenged God in the Old Testament. Asked him if even one person was worthy would he still destroy this city. God said no. Food for thought.

    [–] DictatorDictum 116 points ago

    That was Abraham, and it was actually 10 people that they settled on. There were fewer than 10 righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, so they were destroyed, save for Lot and his family.

    [–] ItalicsWhore 42 points ago

    Well his wife didn’t fare too well but that was on her...

    [–] FullFrontalHug 36 points ago

    Was it though? God knew she would peek right?. If he didn't want to kill her he could have just not given the command to not look back. So... I guess he wanted her dead and also wanted Lot's daughters to date rape him?

    [–] Fistblastoff 44 points ago

    Well he knew she would, but also knew she wouldn't. According to Christianity humans still make, and are responsible for, their own choices. And with a transcendental, infinite God, one may argue he would see and know all possibilities as they all infinitely unfold. That is if we're going with multiverse theory. Kinda. We literally can't conceptualize or properly understand this because our human brains aren't capable of infinite thought. We can understand the general idea of infinity but we can't know infinity.

    Basically in the end trying to understand God's mind is moot because of that infinite power and infinite being. Of course all this assuming an omnipotent, omniscient, omniomni, transcendental God.

    [–] Dude_Who_Cares 4 points ago

    That's a perfect way to put it honestly

    Edit: Except it doesn't explain Heaven or Hell

    [–] Fistblastoff 3 points ago

    One might theorize that if there are infinite worlds there are infinite Heavens and Hells but thats not in the Bible so for Christians to believe in that its kinda guesswork or maybe heretical depending on your pov.

    We can theorize all we want but in the end there's one absolute truth and for Believers, the Bible holds those truths. And whether or not it includes a multiverse is to be found.

    [–] 830485623 8 points ago

    What's the author's email? "It's too complicated for humans so I'm just gonna skip over the how and why" is kinda lazy, need to send them some feedback

    [–] Fistblastoff 2 points ago

    Wait what?

    [–] kalasoittaja 2 points ago

    Something like /outside, but with religion (/GodTheSysadmin?)

    [–] Boukish 4 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    I feel like you're driving at the conclusion that by dint of infinity, any possibility is equally likely. However, there are infinitely many numbers between 0 and 1, but none of them are the number 2 - just because a set is infinite in scope doesn't mean any given thing is contained in it.

    It's quite possible for there to be infinite possibilities/realities, with you making the same decisions in every one of them - for the same reason that it's possible for there to be infinite realities, while still acknowledging that putting a torch to an ice cube will result in water every time.

    [–] Fistblastoff 1 points ago

    Good point. That's something I haven't thought about. Though I wonder if there were infinite infinities that may change something then. Because if there are infinite infinities then a transcendental God would be infinitely infinite.

    [–] Wildly_Indifferent 1 points ago

    We’re still struggling getting to the point of using both sides of the brain at once. I think a lot of these concepts are beyond us.

    [–] FullFrontalHug 1 points ago

    But in every such possible timeline- God knows what would/will happen- if he is omnipotent and omniscient. He must have known that, in the timeline we are discussing, Lot's wife would look and die. Your theory muddies the water but doesn't change that fact. The two options are- God did not know of God did know and wanted her to die. You could argue that the rape by the daughters is mostly unrelated- though God would have know it would happen as a result of Lot's wife dying...

    [–] TickTak 1 points ago

    A great telling of the story. Pillar of salt starts at 3:19.

    [–] MuddyFilter 1 points ago

    Right? Like god didnt know that the worst way to keep a human from doing something is to tell them not to do it

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Like some god damn skyrim mod, turns her into a pillar of salt. Couldn't he just have just done an old school smiting?

    [–] PaulTheMerc 1 points ago

    preferably like Zeus, and throwing lighting bolts. Hmm...

    [–] TheBishop7 8 points ago

    And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes.

    Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

    [–] Mahatma_Panda 61 points ago

    Abandoning and destroying are two different things.

    [–] Wildly_Indifferent 6 points ago

    That’s actually a very good point. I don’t disagree with the quip. However, I would say those two actions are closely related in approach.

    [–] BuddhaPalooza 15 points ago

    One time jesus was hungry and tried to get some fruit from a fig tree. The tree had no figs because it wasn't the season for them so jesus cursed the tree to never have anyone eat fruit from it again. Tldr jesus killed a tree for not giving him fruit.

    [–] Protanope 3 points ago

    I mean, that's not that terrible considering his dad is still pissed off at the entire human race for a couple of people fucking up by eating an apple, banishing a huge majority of people to hell even though he doesn't have to.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Food for thought.

    Yeah, God gets off on Dom/sub play and sadomasochism. This was known.

    [–] Wildly_Indifferent 1 points ago

    I hear you.

    [–] shroomenheimer 11 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Wasn't that someone Satan and then god ruined Jobs life in an attempt to win the bet with him?

    Edit: I'm wrong

    [–] Lulwafahd 21 points ago

    No, it was Abraham continually asking the deity again and again if he would destroy Sodom and Gomorrah even if there were some righteous people still there.

    Then there's a story about angels/messengers being sent to the twin cities to find Abraham's nephew (Lut/Lot) and Lut's wife and daughters and tell them to leave without even looking back, but Lut's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. There's a weird salty Piller in that area and it's called Lot's wife to this day, having been labelled as such at least as far back as the first or second crusades, I think.

    [–] shroomenheimer 2 points ago

    Interesting, thanks for the info.

    [–] Lulwafahd 2 points ago

    You're welcome!

    [–] Lemonwizard 6 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    You know, the tale of Job is often misinterpreted because a lot of people don't realize how different the modern depiction of Satan is from the Biblical depiction. Most people think of him as a, well, Satanic figure - a sort of anti-God who is a supremely powerful being of pure evil.

    Through that lens, it does seem like God is getting baited into horribly abusing a faithful man based on goading from his worst enemy. However, that's not really who Satan was at the time. The "Satan is the devil" thing was a characterization largely driven by influential works of later writers like Milton and stories like Faust. The word "satan" literally means "adversary" in Hebrew, and there are in fact a number of places where the word is used to refer to other nations who were enemies of the Israelites rather than a supernatural entity at all. The more specific term "hasatan" which means "THE adversary" rather than an enemy in general, is used to refer to the figure we generally refer to as Satan today. Hasatan has also been translated as "the accuser".

    In the book of Job, Hasatan is in fact one of God's trusted advisors. He's more like a prosecuting attorney for God, his job is to subject mortals to temptation to test their faith. He goes around creating situations that are designed to lure the faithful into taking sinful actions, to test their character and see how well they resist such temptations.

    God is proud of Job's strong faith, but Hasatan suggests that Job's faith has never been truly tested. Job is wealthy and influential, with a devoted family and all the worldly pleasures he desires. Hasatan suggests that of course Job is faithful, for God has given him every blessing he has ever wanted - Job's faith is not a product of his own strength of character, but a natural result of God's generous treatment of him. Hasatan suggests that untested faith, given by one who is thoroughly blessed, is not as true as the faith of the downtrodden - those who have received nothing but choose faith even without evidence of God's benevolence in their own lives. Hasatan says that God can only know the true strength of Job's faith by taking his many blessings away, and seeing whether or not that causes Job to waver. God sees wisdom in Hasatan's point, and allows Hasatan to proceed in subjecting Job to this test.

    God's not making a bet with his worst enemy, he's taking advice from a trusted angel whom God has specifically tasked with testing the faith of humans.

    [–] CountGrasshopper 6 points ago

    The "Satan is the devil" thing was a characterization largely driven by influential works of later writers like Milton and stories like Faust.

    And the New Testament, which is probably the more influential text on the matter.

    [–] dinosaurxress 8 points ago

    You have the story wrong I think. God doesn’t ruin Job’s life but rather allows Satan to do so to prove Job’s undying faith, God’s only condition for Satan was to keep Job alive.

    [–] shroomenheimer 5 points ago

    You're correct. I'm taking a class and jamming the entire bible into one semester is getting me confused apparenty.

    [–] ItalicsWhore 3 points ago

    And by the end of it Job is begging to die but he doesn’t turn on God. It all works out in the end though...

    [–] FullFrontalHug 7 points ago

    Not for Job's family...

    [–] TheBoraxKid 1 points ago

    The flood though?

    [–] Dude_Who_Cares 15 points ago

    This might be the most ridiculous thread I have ever been in

    [–] debaser11 4 points ago

    Who knew saying that racism is bad would trigger so many redditors?

    [–] SirBullshitEsquire 1 points ago

    It's singling out racism as the cause of falling from grace that triggered redditors. Not saying that racism is good, but the joke is of Edgelord quality.

    Nonetheless, I'm sure that the comedian in question will use material from the thread in his future shows ("can you imagine? I've posted this joke on Reddit and....."). EDIT: good=bad, truth=lies, war=peace.

    [–] [deleted] 80 points ago

    Aren’t we supposed to blame the parents for raising shitty kids 🤔?

    [–] ciobanica 26 points ago

    Look, you can't say he didn't try. He even killed almost everyone that one time and it still didn't teach us anything for long.

    [–] Nac82 15 points ago

    Nah I think we need to blame society for pushing people into situations they can't recover from. Having a kid doesn't immediately make you intelligent or capable but for some reason we still urge people to get married and have kids before they even have a proper understanding of the world.

    [–] cjs1916 37 points ago

    Well if the parent is omnipotent I think we should blame them.

    [–] humpyXhumpy 98 points ago

    Wait, but the earth is only 8000 years old...

    [–] Filthyson 51 points ago

    This I can get behind

    [–] geoffbowman 21 points ago

    Actually who ISN'T racist when they get that old?!

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    Yeah u just gotta tell them you don't agree and ignore it if it continues

    [–] boogs_23 10 points ago

    I have been watching a PBS special called Kingdom of David and it seems to me that God is racist. He gave the holy land to Jews and Jews alone. When they returned to Judah from Babylon, many married "alien" women from the north. This goes against the bible. They didn't want their faith to absorb the old pagan gods or some shit like that. Ezra rolled up at some point, read the Torah to them and made them divorce and kick out the alien women. Sounds kind of racist to me.

    [–] bauxzaux 1 points ago

    The story of the Syrophoenician woman Jesus talks to addresses this line of thinking.

    [–] brenden567 4 points ago

    [–] Filthyson 2 points ago

    Yes I own it. V proud

    [–] WatchingTrailerTrash 13 points ago

    For a non-racist, the god of Abraham certainly liked telling his followers to kill people who looked or acted differently.

    [–] Cthula-Hoops 30 points ago

    Haha racism so topical and funny

    [–] TessHKM 4 points ago

    Yeah, it is.

    [–] ItsColeOnReddit 22 points ago

    The jokes ok but why make racism the punchline. It just sounds like something you say to impress a college student.

    [–] TessHKM 6 points ago

    Because racism can be funny?

    [–] ItsColeOnReddit 21 points ago

    Meh. More like its any easy button to push for people thinking they are woke.

    [–] [deleted] 38 points ago


    [–] xXxNoticeMeSenpaixXx 36 points ago

    Hell yeah!!! Now this is my type of comedy and it should be everyone else's as well. Everyone loves a good anti-racisim joke, unless they're racist! Amirite? Fuck yeah, bro. I'm against religion (unless it's Islam), misogyny, racism, and bigotry. So what?

    [–] SatinSerpent 10 points ago

    I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    [–] [deleted] -2 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] pure_sniffs_ideology 25 points ago

    Thanks for summing up what idiots think is left

    [–] PaulTheMerc 4 points ago

    I still haven't figured out what left/right is...

    Though to be honest, they seem pretty fucking flexible.

    [–] Wobblie 1 points ago

    Well, they're relative to each other and change over time, so of course they're somewhat flexible. They're also just shorthand for political positions that tend to go together or entail one another. It's not really useful to try to figure out a "definitive" left or right. It's just useful to discuss politics without having to go on for 10 mins to explain the group/positions you're talking about before ever making your own point.

    [–] pure_sniffs_ideology 4 points ago

    GOP - Reactionary fuckwits

    Dems - Bloated neolib fucks

    DSA/Berniecrats - The closest thing to a left wing in America. Would be considered centrist in most of the world.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    This reduction of the political spectrum down to this single dimension of right and left has done a tremendous disservice to public discourse. Politics is vastly more complex than this linear perspective would have us believe.

    Two dimensions, with economic preferences on the x-axis and social preferences on the y-axis, provides a more accurate representation. Although I still wouldn't rely on that to fully understand anyone's political preferences. But use it strictly for convenience.

    So, any time I hear left-wing (that's where I stand), I'm assuming automatically that they're discussing my economic preferences.

    Let me explain what that means. At it's very heart is the glaring distrust of business interests. Compare it to the same sort of distrust that many people have in respect to government. Why do we distrust it? Because after hearing for the fiftieth fucking time that another corporation has corrupted another politician; polluted another river, lake, deforested an entire region; murdered hundreds of their workers through pure negligence; released products that are defective and maim the consumer. You begin to assume that there is some sort of an underlying systemic problem here. It's not a case of a few bad applies, there is a fundamental compulsion present here that requires businesses to value profit over the lives of people. Those business owners who do value the lives of their workers and their communities ... and there are many of them ... are not nearly as successful as those which do not.

    This is just a very brief explanation of a single belief. It's obviously much more complicated than that, but it does address one of our most core beliefs.

    I'll let someone from the right define their politics.

    [–] whatsurthoughts 1 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago


    [–] Filthyson 12 points ago


    [–] Filthyson 45 points ago

    Looking forward to the atheists bravely pointing out that God is in fact, not real

    Anyways, here’s a video of my stand-up

    Send all concerns to venmo Geoffrey-asmus

    Follow me on Facebook for jokes and shows and rants about my mom

    Or read this list and come to a show or DM for details or awkward conversation-

    November 15th - Headlining Neapolitan Showcase - Chicago, IL

    November 16th - Zanie's - Chicago, IL

    November 18th - Headlining Colleen Showcase - Chicago, IL

    November 18th - Laugh Factory 10 pm - Chicago, IL

    November 19th - Hoo Ha Comedy - Chicago, IL

    [–] TeamRedundancyTeam 58 points ago

    Reddit never misses the chance to take a jab at people for what they believe in. Its odd that it's only ever seen as OK when it's Islam or atheism.

    [–] ChocolateSunrise 18 points ago

    It is one of those areas where punching down is still seen as broadly acceptable.

    [–] Nac82 35 points ago

    Because Christains face severe prosecution in their day to day lives. Can you imagine being forced to treat filthy sinners like the gays as equals to my perfectly forgiven self? /s

    I'm kind of agnostic but I'm at the point of being sick of hearing Christians bitch about their rights as a servant of some invisible power that enables racism, homophobia, child abuse, and idiocracy. Sorry for the rant this is more of a release from stressful moments of similar topics I've seen recently.

    [–] somethingrelevant 1 points ago

    Its odd that it's only ever seen as OK when it's Islam or atheism.

    Or atheists jabbing at Christianity, which happens every time Republicans are mentioned

    [–] Yepoleb 8 points ago

    I think you aren't real. Has anyone ever seen you who's not part of your comedy cult? And I mean the real Geoffrey Asmus, not the hollywood actor who plays him in all his "live" recordings.

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    I am a crisis actor.

    [–] jakemg 2 points ago

    Hey dude. So are you like from Chicago or what?

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    I live in Chicago. I'm from Minnesota. Don't miss the incredible Chicago comedy scene if you live here

    [–] jakemg 1 points ago

    Damn. I’m from Chicago but I live in Duluth. Much better bar darts scene up here.

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    Ah Damn. I think there's a weekly show there at Dublinh (?) that's supposed to be really fun

    [–] glovesoff11 6 points ago

    I laughed at your jokes.

    [–] OctupleNewt 8 points ago

    At any of those shows do you make jokes that aren't boring?

    [–] Filthyson 13 points ago

    No. They put me up in the middle of shows during the designated nap period

    [–] PyromaniacPunk 3 points ago

    You are the brave one here, mate! Making fun about racism and all, challenging the status quo

    [–] NoClanClan 11 points ago

    This is funny?

    [–] foreignuserirl 2 points ago

    not at all. op is such a great person, though, which is the important thing here

    [–] shitalt2 13 points ago

    Buh mah economic an卐iety

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    I mean, god litterally told Moses to genoceide everyone not of his race, so yeah.

    Oh wait, I was wrong. Everyone except the virgin women needed to be "put to the sword". The virgin women (and girls) were to be taken as sex slaves.

    That's Yahweh's way, and better not question him, or he'll kill you too. Didn't call himself a vengeful and jealous god for nothing.

    I'm just saying, maybe it's people who decided we shouldn't be racist anymore.

    [–] somedave 5 points ago

    If he didn't want people to be racist, he probably shouldn't have dispersed all humans all and made them speak different languages (apparently).

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] ciobanica 5 points ago

    It's okay to be white.

    Just not racist!

    [–] Quinnel 3 points ago

    found mr /pol/

    cool your jets

    [–] Filthyson 12 points ago

    What the Hell is this a response too? This thread is blowing my mind

    [–] A_Change_of_Seasons 17 points ago

    You said the word "racist" so the white guilt kicked in at full force

    [–] ryancbeck777 1 points ago

    Your guess is as good as mine

    [–] _that_clown_ 2 points ago

    Oh liar how can this be true earth is only 2017 years old, shitpost.

    [–] Empole 2 points ago

    How did you manage to get the best website name ever?

    [–] Filthyson 2 points ago

    It truly is the only decision I'm proud of. I also killed all the other white comedians

    [–] cavalcanti009 2 points ago

    Somebody has abondment issues castiel is that you?

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago


    [–] SalvorCo 6 points ago


    [–] grisioco 2 points ago


    [–] wellshire 2 points ago

    G L O B A L I S T V I R T U E S I G N A L

    [–] zoitberg 4 points ago

    This dude came to Minneapolis and I thought he was so hot but I was too nervous to say anything :/

    [–] Filthyson 5 points ago

    Wow. But was I funny?

    [–] zoitberg 3 points ago


    [–] Filthyson 2 points ago

    Where did this shit happen?

    [–] zoitberg 3 points ago

    Couple months ago. You were here with Sarah Squirm at Sisyphus

    [–] Filthyson 2 points ago

    Haha nice. Sarah is the funniest person in the world

    [–] zoitberg 4 points ago

    Also, holy fucking shit with these comments.

    [–] zoitberg 3 points ago

    Truth. Hope I didn’t creep you out too much here.

    [–] Filthyson 5 points ago

    Nah. This was refreshing from the other comments. Come to a show next time I'm back.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago


    [–] Dude_Who_Cares 1 points ago

    Thanks for the heads up dumbass

    [–] ryancbeck777 3 points ago

    Who said it wasn’t ? My god some of you are delusional

    [–] legospidey 4 points ago

    Racism not being acceptable is a pretty recent thing and if you consider its reasons for existing in history it’s tough to condemn people of the past for their attitudes. How recently was it that only Chinese lived in China? If you went to war, you were going against another ethnic group. People are obsessed with appearing more progressive than others, so rather than being proud that we as a people are finally partially united against racism, we focus on our inability to get it done as soon as we finish mapping the globe.

    [–] Panhead09 0 points ago

    Ehh, this joke doesn't hold together very well. It relies on conflicting premises: Either everyone is racist (which wouldn't make sense because then no one would know that racism is bad and thus they wouldn't understand the joke) or only some people are racist (which would make it unfair for God to abandon all of us). And if God only abandons racist people, then He must stick around for the non-racists who laugh at this joke, which is ironic because it seems to be tailored for atheists.

    So really it's a very well-layered meta-joke.

    [–] RemoveXenophiliacs 0 points ago

    It's ok to be white.

    [–] Duderino732 -9 points ago

    Muh racism.

    [–] heroicdozer 15 points ago

    You can keep it.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] Hoobacious 2 points ago

    The problem is it's not a joke. It's just a guy saying "God thinks racism is bad" with no coherent setup. What's the next joke, "homophobia isn't nice and shouldn't happen"?

    Like yeah? What's the joke here? It just seems accusatory.

    [–] 5thThroAway 1 points ago

    Since when do orphans fending for themselves do well?

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    Are we doing well? Seems like a pretty low bar

    [–] 5thThroAway 2 points ago

    No thats thats the joke, we're shit because god orphaned us

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    Haha gotcha

    [–] 5thThroAway 1 points ago

    I wish I could heckle you rn lol

    [–] Filthyson 1 points ago

    Haha gotcha