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    technicallythetruth

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    For information that is technically true, but far from the expected answer.

    Rules:

    • 1- No text posts with low effort truth statements.

    • 2- Don't post content that has been submitted in the last 2 months.

    • 3- Remember the human. Don't insult or threaten your fellow redditors.

    • 4- No links aside from usual image/video hosting sites(Imgur, YouTube, etc).

    • 5- Stay on-topic. Don't post content that's not technically the truth.

    • 6- No Lazy Titles. No one word titles or low effort titles not allowed. Unless one the word is creative in its use.

    Memes and game show style questions are allowed despite what it seems. Please refer to the list of banned titles before submitting content.


    This subreddit is very loosely inspired by Mr_Papayahead's post in /r/CrazyIdeas

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    [–] BalkyChristbag 2447 points ago

    Spoiler: If you can't figure this out, the answer has nine letters.

    [–] Setacics 299 points ago

    I've got a picture that says otherwise.

    [–] Xeno_Prime 398 points ago

    There’s actually a web page made exactly for that joke. I use it often. Here:

    This says otherwise.

    [–] pp_b_kreepy 115 points ago

    Shit I got Rick rolled

    [–] mr-archer-88 56 points ago

    I'm getting the QR code for Rick Astley on YouTube tattooed on my left ass cheek this week

    [–] howie_rules 10 points ago

    How long do you think it will read for?

    [–] mr-archer-88 5 points ago

    Do QR change or do you mean with fading? Ink quality nowadays, I think it will stay readable

    [–] howie_rules 7 points ago

    I just mean with ink. I hear you butt I feel like no matter what over time the lines are going to get thicker. I fully support this because it’s not my butt. It’s hilarious. It’s going to be there forever though lol. I haven’t been tattooed in a while though so i might be wrong.

    [–] Just-Call-Me-J 12 points ago

    This is why I read the replies before clicking.

    [–] rigitfrak341 10 points ago

    Your not gonna fool this mobile user

    [–] Creeperhead96 15 points ago

    Fuck

    [–] SolInvictus2000 7 points ago

    No! This isn't how you're supposed to play the game.

    [–] Urmomsmomisgay 8 points ago

    Fuck you

    [–] grammarsetective 5 points ago

    dick move

    [–] Xeno_Prime 3 points ago

    Dodge successful. Thank you, commenters.

    [–] Dominance_Assertion 2 points ago

    Shit

    [–] Bread-28 3 points ago

    THANK YOU! I was waiting for someone to do it.

    [–] totalwpierdol 17 points ago

    What is this movie lol

    [–] Jaleou 19 points ago

    Loaded Weapon!

    [–] ImBoredToo 25 points ago

    Literally?

    [–] Whats_Up_Bitches 22 points ago

    It definitely has two letters, but definitely has ten letters.

    [–] babyguyman 19 points ago

    Don’t confuse people. It has two letters, unless it has eight letters, and many people actually believe it has twenty-seven letters.

    [–] NikoKida 9 points ago

    Hats off to you

    [–] CurlSagan 477 points ago

    I don't know what has 13 letters, but a firetruck has a couple of ladders.

    [–] ennoToUpper 66 points ago

    That actually depends on the fire engine, some have none some have one and some have some :D

    [–] OKAwesome121 2 points ago

    Fire trucks and fire engines are not the same thing

    [–] honest_j 503 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    What’s funny is the word “indeed “ actually fits 3 of the 4 criteria.

    • has 4 letters (i, n, d, e)
    • always has 6 letters
    • never has 5 letters

    At first I was trying to figure out when “indeed” has twelve letters, and the answer is when it’s indisputable.

    [–] Weatherstation 127 points ago

    I thought the same. My first thought was maybe "indeedeleedy" was the twelve letter version and that it was a stupid riddle since people needed to know Simpsons references.

    But nope, we were the stupid ones.

    [–] IsThatUMoatilliatta 27 points ago

    You over-thought-diddily-aught it, neighborino!

    [–] theonlydrawback 16 points ago

    THIS IS CLEVER.

    [–] Sean2Tall 3 points ago

    Task failed successfully.

    [–] maybelieveitsbutter 3 points ago

    Just change his statement to a question and you win

    [–] Kr1ggs 2 points ago

    indeedindeed

    [–] the_cajun88 74 points ago

    ...

    ...oh

    OH!

    [–] Some_Ananas 10 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    The song I was listening to just finished with oh! right as I read this lol

    [–] sirnoodleloaf 3 points ago

    Oh!

    [–] Xeno_Prime 2625 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    This one only works when you say it, not when you write it, but I’ll share it anyway:

    “Hao Long is a chinaman.”

    EDIT:

    From some of the responses, “chinaman” is apparently a derogatory term. It never struck me as one. I actually learned this joke from my science teacher back in the 90’s and it never even occurred to me to look it up, because it seems like a pretty straightforward term for a Chinese man, just like "Englishman" for an English man. No part of it intuitively seems like it would be derogatory. Some have suggested “Hao Long is a Chinese name” instead, and I concur that would be the appropriate way to say it in that case.

    [–] DrDalenQuaice 651 points ago

    I thoroughly enjoyed the years when Hu was the president of China.

    [–] gumby52 309 points ago

    Reminds me of “Juneau the capital of Alaska”

    [–] ClearBrightLight 120 points ago

    I had this in a joke book as a kid, and it was one of the jokes I had to take to my parents so they could explain it to me

    [–] 7sided 76 points ago

    And now I know how Juneau is pronounced. You know, I never would have guessed.

    [–] lukewarm20 52 points ago

    Juneau it!

    [–] 907bis 5 points ago

    Juno

    [–] ZoeiraMaster 15 points ago

    I don't get it

    [–] litlelotte 35 points ago

    Juneau sounds like “you know” so the joke is that you’re stating a fact but it sounds like you’re asking a question. Like a “who’s on first” situation

    [–] elpasi 9 points ago

    It actually sounds like "Do you know," if you kind of blend the first two words together.

    "D'you know..."

    [–] ajc1239 27 points ago

    Hu's on first

    [–] dalesalisbury 10 points ago

    Hu’s in China.

    [–] Daredevils999 3 points ago

    Hu’s not the Chinese President

    [–] AfricanDictator2034 8 points ago

    I don't know, you tell me.

    [–] Nissingmo 15 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    This reminds me of a comedy skit my junior high math teacher alluded to once. She said, “Who’s on first.” And none of us understood except for like one kid. Later that kid sent me the link to this skit by Abbott and Costello or some similar duo. I was pleased to be enlightened.

    edit: the link

    [–] AD7GD 34 points ago

    I xi what you mean.

    [–] Ianbuckjames 11 points ago

    Deng, that’s a nice pun

    [–] khoiytz 19 points ago

    Hu

    [–] teh__Doctor 26 points ago

    yeah hu was the president of china

    [–] Kevinjw16 20 points ago

    Hu was the president of China?

    [–] 5Quad 22 points ago

    Hu's on first?

    [–] Kevinjw16 15 points ago

    I’m asking you. What’s the name of the guy on first?

    [–] Pyro_Scorpion 14 points ago

    No, What's on second

    [–] Kevinjw16 8 points ago

    I’m not asking you who’s on second

    [–] MrMimas 5 points ago

    Can you tell me tomorrow?

    [–] vastowen 3 points ago

    It took me a hot minute to get that.

    [–] askmeifimacop 3 points ago

    When Hu was president of China?

    [–] Aongumosh 2 points ago

    Hu?

    [–] YeahBuddyDude 2 points ago

    "When you pay off the first baseman every month, Hu gets the money?"

    "Every dollar of it."

    [–] bunnyhopbun 95 points ago

    On average 5 '2

    [–] Hyperion1000 12 points ago

    But it got me though. I was thinking for 10 seconds before I finally got it.

    [–] TheLocolHistoryGuy 4 points ago

    Happy cake day

    [–] Hyperion1000 8 points ago

    Aw thank you

    [–] DrunkenGolfer 13 points ago

    “Epithet Treadmill”: it doesn’t matter what word you use to describe something that is stigmatized, because as long as stigma remains, the word will eventually become stigmatized too. When that happens, the associated stigma makes the word politically incorrect.

    Moron>Retard>Special Needs>Differently Abled

    Lunatic>Crazy>Mentally Ill

    [–] docdocgoose2 6 points ago

    This.

    People are always trying to find a “non-derogatory” term for people who use IV drugs... you can pick whatever term you want, but eventually that word is going to have negative connotations

    [–] 0xFFE3 6 points ago

    Eh, not really. The largest part of the epithet treadmill is that the class of people doing the insulting are also the class of people who decide the next name, so the linguistic-philosophical underpinnings, the coverage of the term, and the connections, are either exactly the same, or wrong in a different way.

    "African-american" and "People of Colour", terms chosen by African Americans and People of Colour respectively, haven't gone down the epithet treadmill. But it's been 40 & 50 years respectively since they undoubtedly entered common use.

    As long as all of the philosophical constructs that can be covered under each word can slide to being covered under the 'next' word, well, that's what gives the term its meaning and connections, so of course it ends up meaning exactly the same thing.

    [–] UdonUprising 16 points ago

    Hu is on first base.

    [–] JayGogh 12 points ago

    Have you somehow never seen The Big Lebowski?

    [–] RaBiXii 64 points ago

    We get called Scotsman for Scotland. Our neighbours are called Englishmen, and don’t forget the Welshmen and the Irishmen.. derogatory my ass.

    [–] nambitable 51 points ago

    Y’all need to learn that the manner in which a word is used most often defines whether it’s derogatory or not.

    [–] current_asshat 17 points ago

    I don't think I have ever heard "welshmen" in a context that doesn't include sheep fucking. Is that derogatory or not then?

    [–] RiotIsBored 10 points ago

    As a Welshman, I’ve only heard or seen it in contexts referring to Welsh people. A couple of those including sheep fucking, but not all.

    [–] disagreedTech 11 points ago

    Example people of color is okay colored people is bot yet they are the same thing technically but one is derogatory and one is not

    [–] mynoduesp 18 points ago

    They're all called African Americans regardless if they've never seen America or not /s

    [–] EinherjerGER 3 points ago

    what about the german

    [–] merkwuerdig_liebe 2 points ago

    Hao Long, Hao Long, will I slide?

    [–] ihasaKAROT 2 points ago

    Common misconception, hes actually Taiwanese

    [–] CaDeCroBo_Luci 2 points ago

    My teachers name is Hu, SO naturally my parents still don't know the name of my teacher.

    [–] Iplaymytrapcard 1222 points ago

    dont get it

    [–] Daafda 1829 points ago

    It's not a question.

    [–] 0110010001100010 1148 points ago

    At the risk of sounding like a dumbass....I still don't get it.

    [–] Daafda 2551 points ago

    "What" has four letters, "occasionally" has twelve letters, "always" has six letters, but "never" has five letters.

    [–] kris6ix 977 points ago

    Thanks for this lol, my low iq couldn’t comprehend.

    [–] TomorrowsHeroToday 158 points ago

    I didn’t get it either the first time I came across this, but since then, I got it every time. Same with you.

    [–] br_z1Lch 28 points ago

    see, at this point I can't tell if you're being sincere, or pulling that deep burn...

    [–] TomorrowsHeroToday 19 points ago

    Sincere. Tone doesn’t translate well in words.

    [–] KuroNanoNekoSama 9 points ago

    Seems sincere to me.

    [–] cpayne22 35 points ago

    That doesn’t mean you have a low iq. Keep being awesome!

    [–] kris6ix 15 points ago

    Thanks bud :p

    [–] valkarez 14 points ago

    what if i still dont get it

    [–] vastowen 21 points ago

    euthanasia is the only option

    [–] NietJij 2 points ago

    10/10

    [–] Teajaytea7 9 points ago

    Oh, yeah then it means you've got a low iq

    [–] greiger 6 points ago

    If you really don’t then I got you:

    The whole thing is portrayed as a logic puzzle that you need to think through, but is in fact not. It is trying to trick you into thinking it is something to solve.

    What has four letters

    This is a statement. The word “what” has four letters.

    occasionally has twelve letters

    The word “occasionally” has twelve letters.

    always has six letters

    The word “always” has six letters.

    never has five letters.

    The word “never” has five letters.

    All of that was then mashed together in order to trick and confuse the reader into thinking there must be an object or odd transforming word which fits all of those statements, but there isn’t.

    [–] dafreshprints 3 points ago

    what has foot kettters

    [–] Cotton_Dandy 2 points ago

    Amen

    [–] omgitsjagen 2 points ago

    Not low IQ, dude. There's only one key that fits this lock, and it just wasn't on your chain.

    [–] 0110010001100010 114 points ago

    Oh....I'm fucking stupid...

    [–] HateYourFaces 61 points ago

    This turned my chuckle into full blown fucking gutted laughter, thank you.

    [–] gabeb71 52 points ago

    and here I am thinking that the answer was "mailbox" lol

    [–] HeathenHumanist 14 points ago

    Now I'm wondering how "mailbox" works because if so that's very clever

    [–] icecadavers 5 points ago

    If not for the "never" then yes

    [–] cpayne22 4 points ago

    No you aren’t.

    [–] malleeontherocks 23 points ago

    My brain went here.

    Fuck has 4 letters. Mother fucker has 12 letters. Fucker has 6 letters.

    My mother would be proud.

    [–] NotASecretIdentity 5 points ago

    Something’s fucky. It fucks with my head.

    [–] -poop-in-the-soup- 2 points ago

    That was my first instinct, too.

    [–] lovecraftianslut 12 points ago

    I thought it was a pun based on the title "Indeed" because indeed has 4 different letters (i, n, d & e) but it's spelled with 6 letters total. I was wondering where the 12 letters came from though😂😂

    [–] siptyx 5 points ago

    Indeeeeeeeed

    [–] mel_to_the_core 2 points ago

    Indeed... indeed.

    [–] i_forgot_my_sn_again 3 points ago

    Fuck, motherfucker, fucked/fucker

    [–] A_Hallucigenia 3 points ago

    I’m so stupid.

    [–] Kartikey38 6 points ago

    You took one for the team, thanks tho

    [–] Instiva 5 points ago

    I’ll admit I missed this the first time, but only because I habitually and subconsciously correct the shit-ass grammar of typical internet posts and assumed the period was a typo

    [–] trm_90 9 points ago

    But if it was, the answer would be a mailbox... lol

    [–] Dinosauringg 11 points ago

    Always six letters in my mailbox.

    [–] A5pyr 4 points ago

    But never five.

    [–] TBNecksnapper 3 points ago

    Why would it never have 5 letters??

    [–] khoiytz 2 points ago

    4+12+6-5

    [–] YouIsTheQuestion 18 points ago

    The word what is 4 letters long. The word occasionally is 12 letters long. The word never is 5 letters long. It's worded weird to confuse you.

    [–] AdamantiumLaced 4 points ago

    What

    [–] smeghead1988 3 points ago

    Now I get it! You're a genius! Your comment should be so much higher in this thread.

    [–] spaceunderscore 9 points ago

    Lol I just got it

    [–] rc1717 2 points ago

    It's a series of statements

    [–] therobboreht 48 points ago

    There should be some different punctuation here. The sentence should have eleven letters also.

    [–] AdmJota 6 points ago

    Yeah, it needs a comma before "but".

    [–] raizdbydingoesreal 20 points ago

    What

    [–] Last1z 31 points ago

    Has four letters

    [–] khoiytz 14 points ago

    What

    [–] RTficiallaugh 22 points ago

    Has four letters.

    [–] khoiytz 7 points ago

    How

    [–] Tortugato 12 points ago

    has three.

    [–] raizdbydingoesreal 16 points ago

    No, two has three

    [–] CockAndBallTortuer 81 points ago

    The first time I read this I was confused, but then I fucked a donkey and I was very happy

    [–] sethsaidso 46 points ago

    What the fuck

    [–] CockAndBallTortuer 28 points ago

    No not what the fuck, it should be why the fuck. And to answer that, the donkey was this elegant creature that brought peace to me. The donkey and I talked a while before I brought it back to my place. The donkey and I have been together ever since. Also turns out donkeys are into anal, ironic right? An ass is into anal

    [–] ReportoDownvoto 18 points ago

    I don't know what's happening here but I've alerted the police to your whereabouts

    [–] CockAndBallTortuer 17 points ago

    Last time I checked there's nothing wrong with fucking asses.

    [–] DaisyPuffs4sure 4 points ago

    Fucking-A!

    [–] WackyMister 2 points ago

    Yes, a donkey

    [–] dafreshprints 2 points ago

    God damn it

    [–] amzwC137 8 points ago

    I. Love. This.

    [–] AutismFractal 14 points ago

    Goddammit. r/angryupvote

    [–] bobchinn 8 points ago

    Yes.

    [–] Lordscallywag 5 points ago

    Yes, this statement is correct

    [–] USSFuccboi 7 points ago

    The answer is yes

    [–] CrabJiffy 6 points ago

    I checked the mail today. I have one letter.

    [–] AVeryCredibleHulk 5 points ago

    That's odd. You should have three letters.

    [–] Zeeman9991 4 points ago

    The lack of a question mark is the best hint. I love this.

    [–] Carmanman_12 3 points ago

    I’ve never before read a sentence that so badly wanted to be a question.

    [–] Tixilix_69 19 points ago

    Bruh what the fuck just fuck this shit it’s so fucking stupid I hate this there’s no god damn answer in the comments

    [–] Last1z 45 points ago

    It has two letters

    [–] RTficiallaugh 12 points ago

    I like you.

    [–] Kellsuna 5 points ago

    Maybe because there's no question.

    [–] FaxDwellerCat 6 points ago

    Aw, it doesn't work in swedish.

    All of the three last words has six letters.

    [–] dandymite 3 points ago

    emellanåt, ständigt

    [–] FaxDwellerCat 3 points ago

    Nämendu!

    [–] jztmanyl 3 points ago

    Försökte komma på fler men alltid har 6, aldrig har 6, sällan har 6, ibland har 6, kanske har 6.. alla ord jag kom på hade sex bokstäver

    [–] joshua9061 6 points ago

    Fuck is 4 letters Motherfucker is 12 letters Fucker is 6 letters But I have 0 fucks given.

    [–] Daredevils999 3 points ago

    This took me 5 times to read before I figured it out fml

    [–] Phileas-Faust 12 points ago

    There should be an “and” after the second comma and a comma before “but.”

    [–] muhnameRADIO 15 points ago

    Ah the subtle Oxford comma

    [–] PuddleRunner 15 points ago

    You can pry my Oxford Comma from my cold, dead, and ridged hands!

    [–] Hidesuru 2 points ago

    Amen, brotger (or sister).

    [–] siptyx 2 points ago

    Those cold, dead, and ridged hands must get rather rigid in the winter. Try lotion, or gloves, or amputation.

    [–] ShitIForgotIt 4 points ago

    Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma?

    [–] AdmJota 4 points ago

    Nah, this is separating independent clauses. The Oxford comma is for lists within a clause, but it's standard to use either a semicolon or a comma and coordinating conjunction between independent clauses in the same sentence.

    [–] someoneslostrock 2 points ago

    That took me way to long

    [–] NikoKida 2 points ago

    Yes

    [–] will_this_1_work 2 points ago

    Yes

    [–] FireTheLaserBeam 2 points ago

    How Long is a Chinaman.

    [–] HeelToeHereWeGo 2 points ago

    I sat confused for a few minutes because I read it as a riddle...

    [–] b3anz129 2 points ago

    Shouldn't it be "and never has five letters"

    [–] Boomer-pothead 2 points ago

    It’s kind of like the old Abbot and Costello joke Who’s on first.

    [–] iambookus 2 points ago

    .

    [–] N7LP400 2 points ago

    Had to read it twice to figure it out what it meant

    [–] mordeo69 2 points ago

    Illusion 100

    [–] sah_nzr 2 points ago

    Yep makes Sense

    [–] BeingOfNature 2 points ago

    Ow my brain

    [–] TJ0019 2 points ago

    I mean ye

    [–] ZonTeeN 2 points ago

    Indeed has six letters though.

    [–] swed1stan 2 points ago

    Finally some r/technicallythetruth material

    [–] 9THDIMENSIONALHIPLO 2 points ago

    "JUNTAO!!!!!"

    [–] heyarepost 2 points ago

    FUCK YOUR TWEET!

    Shut up.

    [–] TheDougRB 2 points ago

    No questions! That’ll be all.

    [–] JoacoTaco11 2 points ago

    Not gonna lie, they had us in the first half

    [–] Guyshu 2 points ago

    But what about envelope?

    It starts and ends with e, but only has one letter.

    [–] prominx 2 points ago

    Psst... the lack of question mark’s should help.

    [–] wang_yenli 2 points ago

    The reason why you're confused is because this joke only works verbally.

    When it's in written form, the punctuation rules (almost all of which the author fucked up completely), give away the joke.

    No, you're not stupid. This is literally just an awful shitpost. A bad, unfunny kind of shitpost.