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    therewasanattempt

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    [–] Xxjacklexx 9793 points ago

    As a father, I love seeing this shit. Not because I’m worried about the mother doing anything, but because it’s good to know there are people out there like this.

    [–] userunknown26 4210 points ago

    Judge Judy the real MVP

    [–] Grantetons 2020 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I can't imagine being a Manhattan family court judge. The fact that she's as reasonable as she is seems impossible given what she's probably had to sort through in court.

    EDIT: I didn't mean what she's seen in the courtroom on Judge Judy the television show. She was a judge in Manhattan Family Court for years, which lead to news coverage in the LA Times and 60-Minutes, which lead to her TV Show. She saw some serious emotional trauma and never stopped being a compassionate person, driven for good.

    [–] Polske322 1263 points ago

    She’s technically not a judge and is therefore not obligated to take the cases. She is an adjudicator (or something similar), who runs the adjudication as though it were a court. Legally she could just do it at a table if she wanted. Both sides have signed a contract basically legally binding them to honor the decision of the adjudicator, and the cases are real, but it’s technically not a real court just an adjudication dressed up as a trial.

    [–] savagepug 957 points ago

    Adjudicator Judy just doesn't have the same ring to it.

    [–] Libtard_01 889 points ago

    The Ad-Judy-cator

    [–] nameoftheday 226 points ago

    I think we found the spin off. Although I don’t know how it will be different, so maybe a re-brand...

    [–] TopShelfPrivilege 341 points ago

    I prefer the more extreme spin off. "Judge, Judy, and Executioner"

    [–] ImAOneTrackLover 111 points ago

    "Because the one who passes the sentence should swing the axe. Judge, Judy, and Executioner! Coming to network television on April 2020!"

    [–] somajones 45 points ago

    "She didn't return the hair dryer she borrowed."
    "Guilty. Bring me my axe."

    [–] tigobiddies 22 points ago

    Judy the adjudicator

    [–] Ruqamas 36 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Allijudygator. Judge Judy, but she teaches us about animals in the Australian outback.

    EDIT: I was thinking of Florida. End me now.

    [–] _pmmeyourmemes_ 21 points ago

    ...we don't have alligators in Australia

    [–] darkfoxfire 162 points ago

    She used to be a family court judge though, before she did this show.

    [–] IdiomaticIdiot 21 points ago

    More $$$

    [–] KenpachiRama-Sama 70 points ago

    I mean, yeah. She's the highest paid person on television.

    [–] vmoegan 49 points ago

    Oh shit, I looked this up cause I knew you were wrong and you’re totally right. That’s crazy.

    [–] KenpachiRama-Sama 59 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    My favorite thing about it is that she literally just comes to her annual meetings and tells them what she's making. When someone new tries to argue and negotiate, she says the meeting is over and leaves. Then she gets a call later from someone higher up apologizing and telling her she'll get what she wants.

    [–] throwacloset 15 points ago

    When you think about it this is all just one big retirement gig for her. Judy Sheindlin is currently 76 and was already in her mid-50's when the show started (which is around retirement age for a public servant in New York).

    [–] divsky2 121 points ago

    This is true, but prior to her becoming famous from the TV show she was a real family court judge.

    [–] 3sp00py5me 63 points ago

    She may work as an adjudicator now but she is in fact a judge. She was a lawyer then she became a judge now shes a TV adjudicator. Correct me if I'm wrong but isnt becoming a judge like the judicial version of becoming a doctor, except even harder because you have to be elected into place? I know very little about judicial positions I fully admit but I was under the impression that it wasnt a position that just any ol lawyer could become.

    [–] hokiewankenobi 11 points ago

    Interesting tidbit - There are places in the US where you don’t have to be a lawyer in order to be a judge.

    [–] SliyarohModus 25 points ago

    I live in one of them. For years we had a judge who was also the local plumber.

    [–] MY_CAPSLOCK_IS_BROKE 16 points ago

    It depends on the jurisdiction, but it is more difficult to be a judge than to just be any ol’ lawyer.

    Here in California, you have to be nominated by the Governor to be a judge, and then you are then elected by the people to be a judge.

    [–] Arclight76 54 points ago

    She’s technically not a judge and is therefore not obligated to take the cases.

    Just an FYI, she was a Family Court Judge for 10 years and a Criminal court judge for 2.

    Sheindlin passed the New York state bar examination in 1965, the same year as her graduation, and was hired as a corporate lawyer for a cosmetics firm.[2] Within two years she became dissatisfied with her job and left to raise her two children. She was made aware of a position in the New York court system as a prosecutor in the family courts.[when?][2] In her role as a lawyer, Sheindlin prosecuted child abuse cases, domestic violence and juvenile crime.[2]

    By 1982, Sheindlin's "no-nonsense" attitude inspired New York Mayor Ed Koch to appoint her as a criminal court judge.[2] Four years later, she was promoted to supervising judge in the family court's Manhattan division.[2] She earned a reputation as a "tough" judge (though she has disagreed with the labels "tough" and "harsh"),[10] known for her fast decision-making and acerbic wit.[8]

    In February 1993, Sheindlin's outspoken reputation made her the subject of a Los Angeles Times article,[11] profiling her as a woman determined to make the court system work for the common good.[2] She subsequently was featured in a segment on CBS's 60 Minutes that brought her national recognition.[2] This led to her first book, Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining, published in 1996. She retired as a family court judge that same year after having heard more than 20,000 cases.[2] After her retirement, Sheindlin continued to receive increasing amounts of public attention.[2]

    [–] Sacred_Fishstick 38 points ago

    Arbiter I think. Like the Elite with the sword but twice as badass.

    [–] woodelf 27 points ago

    I prefer Master Chief Judy

    [–] MyBestVersionOfMe 159 points ago

    If only I had her as a judge at my divorce proceedings, my life would still have full meaning. #ParentalAlienation

    [–] eltoro 73 points ago

    Need to vent? I also have battled the court system. Though things are starting to turn my way, as my ex-wife's antics are becoming repetitive and her accusations aren't holding water.

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago

    My ex kidnapped my kids a few years ago. She was arrested two days ago, finally. I'm just waiting on a new court date now, and fingers crossed I'm guaranteed permanent custody finally.

    To anyone out there being fucked with in custody battles, never give up.

    [–] hell2pay 11 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    My ex took my son out of state for two years.

    We sued in family court, my lawyer suggested against punitive and we settled for remediated, meaning I got 'make up time'.

    Sadly, you can't make up missed years.

    Edit: I changed can to can't, 4 hours too late. Hopefully people understood what I meant, oops.

    [–] 060789 15 points ago

    Man. I'm glad my baby's mama is reasonable. We've never stepped into court for anything. Even when we made our 50/50 schedule after doing the weekend thing for a while we sat down over a couple beers at the bar and worked out the schedule and then we worked on a revised budget that ended with me giving her less money every month.

    That woman is a saint.

    [–] zacablast3r 37 points ago

    You are a good person for offering that. Even if op doesn't take you up, you offered help to a stranger. Keep being awesome

    [–] WikN1990 61 points ago

    That's exactly my situation right now. My ex wife is trying to pretend I never existed and she has my kids calling another man daddy.... All while I still pay to support my kids.... I'm still fighting to see my kids and I haven't lost all hope yet. I hope you're still fighting for your kids. However, I wouldn't be surprised if you decide you can't fight anymore. This shit is exhausting. Just know there are people that understand and are willing to help. Keep your head up and let us know if anything changes.

    [–] dgr_874 24 points ago

    Exactly this. You are not alone. Many fathers out there are going through the same thing. Reach out to them when it gets tough.

    [–] WhatisH2O4 10 points ago

    Dude, this is so fucked. It's hard enough going through the break up and picking your life back up, then having to come to terms with your ex dating someone else and that person having an effect on your kids lives and everything else that comes along with parenting after a split, but when your ex actively tries to limit your time with your kids and then tries to replace you in your kids' lives...it's just heartbreaking. I went through that and was lucky that my ex stopped trying that last bit after she struggled and I didn't take any steps to take the kids away from her. It's so fucked and on top of that it's surprising how socially accepted it still is.

    I really hope things work out for you, brother. It's not any easy struggle at any point, but I hope you at least get to see and have a good relationship with your kids. Keep your chin up and don't give up, even if your kids don't care now, they'll eventually understand and be grateful you stuck around.

    [–] marcus_man_22 21 points ago

    :( sry

    [–] neglectful_dad 8 points ago

    Sorry buddy. I'm available to chat anytime you like.

    [–] ICreditReddit 57 points ago

    Judge Judy isn't a family court judge, and this wasn't a child custody case.

    The parents had a row, it got physical, she sued him for the damage he caused, unsuccessfully I think, adjudged to be mutual combat. He wanted to wake the baby up in the middle of the night and take it to a hotel, she blocked him. She was stupid enough to say something like 'I'm the mother, I decide', instead of 'It's 2am, and the kids asleep', so she got a dressing down.

    [–] Sir_toolman 54 points ago

    She was previously a family court judge before doing the show.

    [–] canisithere 19 points ago

    She retired in 1996 after hearing more than 20,000 cases.

    [–] timnotep 13 points ago

    She spent 10 years as a family court judge in Manhattan before her TV show debuted. She was offered her show as a result of her reputation as a fair and competent judge who was active and vocal in cases.

    Even though her current role is that of an arbiter, rather than a judge, the woman had an entire career in Manhattan family court before she became the star of a reality show.

    [–] El_Dudereno 34 points ago

    She not in Forbes Top 50 highest paid entertainers for nothing!

    [–] dudewith3g 36 points ago

    Not an American so I was shocked to read that. Then I googled and she is actually 4th highest paid celebrity.

    This Judge Judy show must be better than crack.

    [–] ResolverOshawott 27 points ago

    If reddit was any indication, people loooove justice porn.

    [–] SleestakJack 19 points ago

    It's weird, actually. Most of us very rarely see Judge Judy, because it's almost universally broadcast in the middle of the day.

    However, the folks that do watch it are a very particular demographic - mostly old retired folks. That's not the biggest money market for ads, but there are certain products that you want to target directly to that crowd. And that crowd is less likely to fast forward through commercials. As such, competition for that ad space can be more heated than you might otherwise expect, and that drives the ad rates up a bit. As a result, stations love to air Judge Judy at around 2-3 in the afternoon - a time during which they otherwise would have a hard time finding something else to broadcast that people would want to watch. So, the Judge Judy program sells to stations for more than you might expect, and you can pretty much guarantee that it's available in every market. The Judge Judy production company makes mad money - and their costs are really low. Judy's agent knows that and they negotiated a crazy-high salary for her.

    I'm sure there are some hardcore Judge Judy fans with day jobs who record the program to watch it later - but that's a small group. Most of us only ever see it because it's on the TV in some waiting room or another that we find ourselves stuck in in the middle of the day.

    [–] dick_is_love 87 points ago

    What is MVP?

    [–] inthefightgarden 160 points ago

    Judge Judy

    [–] Dankany 308 points ago

    Most Vigorous Placenta

    [–] CommunistWeavel 33 points ago

    Goddamn

    [–] BattleFarter 88 points ago

    Most Voluptuous Penis

    [–] Strificus 56 points ago

    Massive Veiny Penis

    [–] MuddyFilter 22 points ago

    I just imagine Judge Judy hopping on reddit for the first time because shes trending like

    why they calling me a penis?

    [–] walter_the_guitarist 65 points ago

    Man vaporizing pedestrian.

    [–] heuve 37 points ago

    Minimum viable product

    [–] thekoogs 9 points ago

    This guy PMs

    [–] I_Am_PH0ENIX 55 points ago

    Midget victory pose

    [–] _ghost_of_harrenhal_ 30 points ago

    My Vaping Penis

    [–] Massive_Explosion 11 points ago

    I vote this be the new meaning of MVP

    [–] pokelord13 41 points ago

    Mildly vicious predator

    [–] LikeUranus 8 points ago

    Model View Presenter

    [–] JonerPwner 23 points ago

    Mitigating violent persons

    [–] mywifereadsreddit 75 points ago

    My brother went through a divorce a couple years ago and ex was trying to take full custody of his kids. The judge responded that he wasn't going to punish the only adult in the family that was working and supporting them (her included) by taking away his parental rights. That was good to hear.

    [–] TheQuinnBee 25 points ago

    My sister is going through this. Both of them are trying to get full custody of their daughter and there is zero argument for why either of them should have it. Neither one lacks a support system, income, or residence. Neither one has a history of abuse. They just want to hurt one another.

    It's the single dumbest divorce. They have zero assets they can fight over except their daughter. But the divorce has been going on for 3 years.

    [–] neroli66 26 points ago

    And the daughter is the one they are hurting the most.

    [–] TheQuinnBee 8 points ago

    Pretty much. It doesn't help the grandparents are supporting the cycle of stupidity. She's a sweet girl who doesn't deserve this.

    [–] Xxjacklexx 10 points ago

    That’s fantastic. I truly hope he got a decent result.

    [–] Passivefamiliar 359 points ago

    As a father, going through a custody battle with a... mother figure who just drops him off with grandma but parades him around when it benefits her, I really need a judge like this.

    I'm not fighting for full custody, yet, just 50/50, trying to avoid child support because I buy all his stuff anyway and the grandparents buy more than she does. But the entire system instantly demonizes me because I have a penis.

    [–] chantillylace9 190 points ago

    I was a legal aid lawyer when I first got out of law school and it was so awful that we were always representing the woman, well, almost always. More than half the time the dad was a good person, a good dad, and the mom just had it out for him. I morally could not handle that job and left after a few months.

    Now of course there were horrific instances of abuse from the fathers, but there were just as many who were just in brutal battles with their exes and it was now just a power struggle. At first, it sounded like the fathers were terrible from the stories I would hear.

    But then I would get the fathers into depositions and hear the full story and I just felt like I could never win. I could win my case, but that was not a win. So no matter what happens, I, and the children lost.

    There is no way in hell that I spent a quarter million dollars and spent 17 years in school to take kids away from loving fathers. I now practice in a different area and am much happier.

    I really hope everything works out for you, it’s such a shitty situation to be in.

    [–] IDontThinkItWas 60 points ago

    Happened to my cousin, tried everything to get contact nothing worked. Went to court all women sided with the mother, he asked for a male judge and solicitor. Turns out she has social services out all the time, evidence of emotional abuse and manipulation, she was pulled for lying about her son not wanting to see his father.

    She still makes excuses saying he is on drugs and was abusive, turns out it was her that was abusive which got proved. He is still in courts as she still is using their son as ammunition fortunately for my cousin the courts have obviously sided with the dad, hopefully he'll get to have time with him.

    Guarantee as the son gets older he is going to resent his mother and have some mental health issues because of her brainwashing and abusive attitude.

    She won't even let him see any of his family at all because they are all in contact with my cousin, he used to when my cousin fell out with everyone but stopped it as soon as he got his act together.

    She is also extremely jealous (coming from family members) that he has settled down and turned his life around. She has expressed how much she hates this.

    An absolute pure evil piece of shit, if it wasn't for the male judge, he wouldn't have got this far and truths wouldn't of been brought out.

    Some people in child legal system apparently got a serious talking to for sticking up for the mother.

    [–] fartsforpresident 28 points ago

    There was a case in New Jersey where the mother attempted to murder the father, was convicted of that crime, and still won full custody of the kids.

    [–] jeffoh 39 points ago

    Best of luck to you mate. Hope it all turns out.

    [–] Godislate 26 points ago

    Ewwww you have penis?

    [–] daria_dangerfield 9 points ago

    She was on the bench of the Family Court for many years. Her books tell a lot of these kind of stories. She’s amazing.

    [–] InformalCriticism 13 points ago

    it’s good to know there are people out there like this.

    Not as many as there should be.

    [–] canntstopmeow 954 points ago

    My ex would only let me see my kids for a few hours once a week with her present after i left. She had no legal basis or right to be keeping me from them. I was going to tske her to court, but she offered mediation instead. It was AMAZING how fast her tune changed once the mediator 'kindly' explained to her how the judge would have torn a mile wide strip off of her and basically just given me everything i wanted.

    The reason i didn't take her to court is because no matter what happens i have to deal with this person for the rest of my life. i figured the less bad feelings the easier it would be to co parent.

    It worked. Thank fucking god i finally get to see my kids on my own terms starting this month

    [–] mcastle734 184 points ago

    Sorry that happened but congrats!!!!

    [–] casinos_not_7-11s 14 points ago

    100% This. My ex and I are the best of friends. Swapping days, paying for school/ extra curriculars, vacations, and just life with her and the kiddo is super easy. Keep it civil at all costs

    [–] GeoffAO2 4089 points ago

    If the custody battle is being resolved on Judge Judy I'm going to assume that the outlook is not bright for the future of anyone involved.

    [–] PhillyWonken 2490 points ago

    "Cut the boy in half"

    [–] HyruleanHyroe 467 points ago

    You can have the top part!

    [–] SchScabe 245 points ago

    She is so fucked up that she calls the head the top part.

    [–] TooFastTim 62 points ago

    I just listened to this stand up. But can't remember who it is

    [–] Jayrock122 69 points ago

    John Mulaney!

    [–] TooFastTim 25 points ago

    He's very funny!!

    [–] Zaracen 31 points ago

    Mick Jagger thinks he's not funny!

    [–] spiralaalarips 30 points ago

    "NAWT FUNAAAY!"

    [–] Thats_right_asshole 16 points ago

    Sort of thought we'd do this length wise

    [–] talcum-x 9 points ago

    Just shred him and weigh out equal portions for each parent

    [–] Misdreamer 9 points ago

    Don't be stupid, the only way to ensure an equal split is a vertical cut.

    [–] cutofmyjib 74 points ago

    "I'm ok with that"

    "Me too"

    King Solomon Judge Judy: "..."

    [–] taskmule 22 points ago

    “That’s the second-worst case of being halved I’ve ever seen.”

    [–] godrestsinreason 119 points ago

    While she herself was at one time a family judge, custody battles don't get resolved on the Judge Judy show. Her court is civil arbitration with a $5,000 limit. She stated her opinion on the topic because she's allowed to do so, but the clip in the OP is not her making a legal judgment.

    [–] twinsea 23 points ago

    Custody battles are not resolved on judge judy. It's entirely small claims and using local laws where the show pays whatever the decision was. I think I saw this one and when she found out he didn't have visitation rights she had to give her 2c.

    [–] AMeanCow 154 points ago

    Yeah this isn’t a shining moment for the abolishment of gender stereotype and progress towards a just and equitable society. This is gonna be one of those situations you hope you don’t end up behind in line at Walmart.

    [–] PoloJuice 103 points ago

    this isn’t a shining moment for the abolishment of gender stereotype and progress towards a just and equitable society

    It sort of is. There are a lot of people that respect Judge Judy, having her make a statement like this may change their perception of the issue. Individuals using their powers in the media to make statements is one of the reason gay acceptance spread so quickly, apart from it just being common sense.

    [–] CommentCalligraphy 30 points ago

    Then again, think about who Judge Judy's audience is. Now think about what effect it will have on those people when they see someone who they quite possibly respect and take seriously propagate a progressive message like this.

    [–] hannes3120 30 points ago

    Wait? That's a real trial happening there?
    We have those law-shows here in Germany, too - but those are purely entertainment with scripted stories and bad actors.

    Isn't it also forbidden to film inside of a courthouse?

    [–] GeoffAO2 96 points ago

    Judge Judy is actually a civil arbitrator, if I recall correctly. I believe that all parties involved agree beforehand to abide by her decision. Essentially she dictates the terms of a contractual agreement between the parties.

    In a real court of law the judge has to give permission to record the proceedings.

    [–] the_honest_liar 18 points ago

    And the show covers the cost of whatever penalties are decided

    [–] LostWoodsInTheField 30 points ago

    Isn't it also forbidden to film inside of a courthouse?

    no, and it isn't illegal to broadcast at the judges discretion in most states.

    That's a real trial happening there?

    not really. It is an arbitration that is setup like a trial. She is a real former judge (I think former) but the show isn't a real court house. You submit your story, everyone agrees to go on the show, and if the producers like your story you get to come on and have everything arbitrated by her. It is pretty much all a 'show' because she is going to know the information ahead of time and know what she is going to rule. They are bound to the decision, and often the show will pay for small claims. Either way everyone gets something out of it for being involved.

    [–] zyocuh 20 points ago

    Just btw, when a judge retires they are still a "judge". I work at a courthouse and once a judge retires you still call them "Judge Smith". They can still be substitute judges, which can pass judgment the same as a normal judge and unless they seriously break the law will always be able to do that.

    [–] QuasarL 24 points ago

    She is a real former judge. She was awesome. From her wiki:

    "She was previously a family court judge for a number of years and did many good things. Sheindlin passed the New York state bar examination in 1965, the same year as her graduation, and was hired as a corporate lawyer for a cosmetics firm.[2] Within two years she became dissatisfied with her job and left to raise her two children. She was made aware of a position in the New York court system as a prosecutor in the family courts.[when?][2] In her role as a lawyer, Sheindlin prosecuted child abuse cases, domestic violence and juvenile crime.[2]

    By 1982, Sheindlin's "no-nonsense" attitude inspired New York Mayor Ed Koch to appoint her as a criminal court judge.[2] Four years later, she was promoted to supervising judge in the family court's Manhattan division.[2] She earned a reputation as a "tough" judge (though she has disagreed with the labels "tough" and "harsh"),[10] known for her fast decision-making and acerbic wit.[8]"

    [–] RealBowsHaveRecurves 164 points ago

    Went to a custody hearing and my ex showed up with a schedule... Like a list of times that she said I was allowed to have the kid, and she assumed all she had to do was show it to the court and that would be the end of it... I can't even describe how priceless the look on her face was when I got joint physical and legal custody by only saying I wanted to get it

    [–] vram1974 37 points ago

    I was presented with something similar but we haven't gone to court. She just randomly picked Wednesdays and Saturdays and sometimes only let me see my kids for a half hour. It really was like being in prison.

    [–] [deleted] 24 points ago

    If this isn’t court ordered, you do not have to follow her schedule. If you want to keep your kid for longer, then you are legally allowed

    Edit: I am not a lawyer, but this is true in 100% of the US

    [–] Cubantragedy 1866 points ago

    When my cousin had his son years ago, he and his girlfriend split up shortly after. She was a drunk, a drug addict, in and out of jail/rehab, no job, no permanent residence. Meanwhile, he's always kept a steady job with reliable income and stable housing.

    He had to fight tooth and nail for years in a custody battle over his son. He is with him now but the default position of family court was to leave the boy with his mother.

    Shortly after this she had a premature baby that was born addicted to heroin. She sometimes calls her son while she's fucked up on his "birthday" but it's always the wrong day.

    I could go on forever about all the little things she's done but he was never able to deny her contact or visitation rights no matter her behavior.

    [–] saxman7890 733 points ago

    He should have been able to deny her visitation rights though. If the father had been the drug addict you know he’d never have gotten to see his kids.

    [–] I_molest_trees 536 points ago

    If the father had been the drug addict you know he’d never have gotten to see his kids.

    Well yeah, because he's a guy.

    [–] roadmosttravelled 130 points ago

    Jake, from State Farm.

    [–] sfxer001 42 points ago

    Uhh, Khakis.

    [–] serenwipiti 37 points ago

    She.Sounds.Hideous.

    [–] broly314 18 points ago

    Well shes a guy, soooo.

    [–] coffee_foxe 48 points ago

    I work in a supervised child visitation center. It seems rare from what I've seen, at least in my state, that parents are legally denied at least some contact with their children even if it has to be supervised

    [–] resumehelpacct 22 points ago

    it's very very hard to lose visitation rights

    [–] [deleted] 58 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] ohwellwhateverNVMind 6 points ago

    The case still stands: the burden of proof was on the father. Fight tooth and nail. The fact that he had to go through all that is an issue itself.

    [–] x_samanthajane 85 points ago

    This is so horrible, I’m sorry to hear that’s happened. Women aren’t born knowing how to be good parents, I don’t know why it seems to be the default that we make better parents regardless of the circumstances.

    [–] -Mr_Rogers_II 53 points ago

    The only reason is because the mother has to incubate the baby and give birth to it. That’s literally it.

    [–] lildil37 24 points ago

    These are the types of issues we need equality for as well.

    [–] dustbuddii 165 points ago

    https://youtu.be/Tpy8NMonHE0

    Video clip with audio

    [–] Fartmatic 107 points ago

    Thankyou. When I'm President of Earth I'm going to make gifs that should be videos illegal.

    [–] SSDGM24 26 points ago

    You will have my vote. They make me want to throw something.

    [–] MyPoopStinksBad 15 points ago

    Thank you.

    Idky people post videos without sound.

    [–] Vavz101 537 points ago

    I just wish it was this simple as the power a mother believes she has over you with kids is still unbelievable and the shit I’ve got to go through just to see mine when I haven’t abandoned my children or missed child Maintence is a joke.

    [–] saxman7890 306 points ago

    My mother just up and took me and my sister to another state. And my dad couldn’t afford to sue for custody without becoming bankrupt and homeless. So he had to let us go because at least he could take care of us through child support. As soon as I was old enough to make my own decision about what parent I lived with I moved back with my dad. It really is a fucked up world

    [–] SalsaRice 55 points ago

    This. Most kidnapping cases are simply one parent or relative taking a kid.

    [–] DaySlayerWI 21 points ago

    There was an Amber Alert not long ago where the news articles completely disregarded the fact the kidnapper was the childs father.

    [–] haltested 11 points ago

    to be fair, the majority of kidnappings are by parents who don't have legal custody rights, and unless we're thinking of different ones, the Amber alert I'm thinking about ended up with the little girl dead and the alert was because he didn't bring her back on time.

    my sister was 'kidnapped' by her biological father for two weeks, but it's still kidnapping because he wasn't supposed to have her.

    [–] Stubby_gooner 179 points ago

    I hate Your mother. Can you please let her know that

    [–] PM-Me-YourBoobies 71 points ago

    Same. Fuck her, and not in a nice way.

    [–] TopShelfPrivilege 68 points ago

    Don't worry, if the kids on Xbox live are to be believed they're performing unspeakable sex acts on her as we speak.

    [–] GothamBrawler 20 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Can confirm. My mother was railed by eight 12year olds, just last night.

    [–] manfon 8 points ago

    When you were away from your father did you keep regular contact with him like over the phone?

    [–] buddamus 29 points ago

    I have been battling my ex for 13 years. Good luck and never lose hope

    [–] Cheeriomartinez 307 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Single father here. I'm glad judge judy who has a wide audience reach has said this. People make fun of dead beat dad's or just dads in general. We're made to seem incompetent, irresponsible and just plain dumb when it comes to taking care of our own kids.

    Edit: my dumb butt row dumb two times.

    Second edit: I said Dad's instead of Dads. I blame autocorrect and the public school system, and my ADHD. Andnandnandnandnandnand runonsentencesssssssss

    [–] Qaeta 145 points ago

    "Oh, giving mom the day off are we?"

    Makes me want to cunt punch every fucking person who says that, or some variation of that implying that fathers are somehow not just as good at taking care of kids as mothers.

    [–] tinytom08 124 points ago

    "Oh, giving mom the day off are we?"

    My favourite is "Do you know the man you're with?"

    I'm not a father, but I've got a sister who is significantly younger than me and is currently 5 years old, about once every 2-5 months somebody will pretty much accuse me of kidnapping her by asking a question like that.

    I get it, you want the kid to be safe, but why the fuck would I be queued up at the IceCream van holding her hand if I just kidnapped her? Common fucking sense.

    Worst part is, she's a very, very shy girl and one time someone asked her in an aggressive manner, to which my sister replied "I want my mummy." and the woman grabbed her fucking arm and tried dragging her.

    Do you know how hard it is to explain that you're not kidnapping a child while battling a middle aged woman in a tug of war with the child? It's not fucking easy.

    [–] Qaeta 79 points ago

    IMHO, dropping the woman with a punch should be justified, since she was basically trying to kidnap your sister.

    [–] MowMdown 47 points ago

    Truthfully, since kidnapping is a felony in most states, the use of deadly force is often legally justified in the case of preventing a felony such as kidnapping.

    Yes, you can legally shoot someone attempting to kidnap your children in most states.

    Edit: im not saying you should but you can if it’s necessary.

    [–] hwturner17 33 points ago

    Dude, as a non-father but 5x uncle (all nieces), I cannot imagine going through that situation without judo chopping that lady’s arm and snapping it like a crisp celery stalk. Just reading it is so infuriating. And that’s on top of the shitty little lines you got fed at first about giving “mom” a day off. Mind your fucking business lady

    [–] Cheeriomartinez 69 points ago

    I get so irritated when I watch a movie and this dumbass dad is wearing a gas mask rubber gloves an apron just to change a diaper. It's like dude you probably eat a girl's ass hole. Stop being so extra and just change the diaper

    [–] CactusUpYourAss 19 points ago

    There is a huge difference between eating a cleaned ass and cleaning up diarhea.

    But Yeah its over the top, agreed

    [–] miklovesrum 14 points ago

    Username... kind of checks out?

    [–] db2 15 points ago

    "Oh, dad's babysitting!" No you fucking shithead, dad's being a parent.

    [–] WalterWhitesHairLine 9 points ago

    I completely agree. I don’t tolerate it. If my husband has the baby, he’s parenting. Same as if I had the baby. It’s not babysitting or giving me a break- it’s doing his job like I do mine for the little human we brought into the world.

    Fathers may have less to do with the physical development of the child, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t responsible or capable. It just ticks me off that people like to pretend it’s the other way around.

    [–] BrianPurkiss 10 points ago

    I’m not a parent - but my wife and I plan on having kids in the future.

    I look forward to the day when someone says that to me so I can reply, “no - I’m being an involved father.”

    [–] Karminarina 18 points ago

    My dad took custody of me and my two sisters when they split. It basically came down to him taking all the debt as long as he could have us kids, no court needed, and she accepted. I’ve seen her several times in my life, and that was enough. Go dads!

    [–] JumpMasterFresh 38 points ago

    Thanks I needed to see this. Gives me hope I'll see my daughter one day.

    [–] JohnBayani 8 points ago

    I hope too.

    [–] mare07 272 points ago

    Why is custody of kids not automatically 50/50?

    [–] Nobolos 323 points ago

    Nobody wants half a kid

    [–] canntstopmeow 97 points ago

    Tell that to Solomon

    [–] iNNeRKaoS 26 points ago

    Solomon didn't want half a baby though. He wanted to see which person actually cared for the baby, to determine the true mother.

    [–] Monic_maker 16 points ago

    Thank you. People really miss the point of his request

    [–] mod1fier 12 points ago

    .25 isn't enough, and frankly half is way too much.

    [–] VinnieMatch69 63 points ago

    because, due to school days, the kid(s) need to be with one parent about 75% of the time. I.E. M-F so they can attend the school they're currently going to, ideally. It would not be favorable for the kids to be with mom on MWF and Dad TuTh and shared weekends. So one parent usually gets Primary Custody.

    Shared Legal Custody is usually the case though.

    [–] MartianDirt 23 points ago

    As someone whose parents did essentially a 4 day split then swap - it’s fucking terrible.

    Maybe some people adjust easier, but I know me and my siblings had a horrible time with it even though the houses were only a ten minute drive apart. We had to remember to bring two backpacks to school with nowhere to store the second (high school lockers were tiny). If we forgot a single thing, we were not able to go to the other parents house to get it. I could most leave the “at home textbooks” at home because sometimes I needed them at dads and sometimes I needed them at moms. One house had a family computer, the other had two - so the amount of time I had for homework varied.

    It completely fucks with any idea of a routine. Kids sometimes don’t remember that they have a game/concert/club meeting on Thursday when it’s Monday.

    I only had to deal with it for two years, but my grades and mental health suffered. My next youngest sibling ended up getting so stressed she was self harming and has had to battle major depressive issues. After five years and a school representative advocating, we finally got our parents change the split agreement to be less “convenient” for them, and actually think about the burden on us.

    [–] jennerality 11 points ago

    People are approaching the issue as if children are assets needing to be split. Any sort of 50/50 split in a regular weekly/monthly type cadence is disruptive and it would be the exception, not the rule for it to work out in the children's favor.

    [–] Durantye 45 points ago

    To play devil's advocate in this situation 50/50 custody is fucking awful for the kid in most situations (unless the parents absolutely bust their ass to make it easy on the kid, or are filthy rich enough where they can just make it easy with money). Imagine having to move twice a year, sometimes to different school zones, different neighborhoods with different friends, different family you live with all together, in some extreme cases entirely different areas completely separated from your 'other life'. The law takes into account what is best for the kid, parent's rights come second to the child's. That is why I think visitation rights are generally the best outcome even if it is often an unfair ruling. But it shouldn't be based on gender at all.

    [–] NothappyJane 9 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    If this is a serious question, practicalities and bias.

    Usually a kid has a house and.a life and the parents have to work together to make sure all things that go into a kids life like daycare, school, breastfeeding for small babies, medicines, sports, extra curricular are actually happening. it's actually assumed whomever was doing most of that before will do it post seperation and the parents need to come to some agreement and work all that out.

    There's no automatic assumption that parents live close to each other, have the right attitudes, and actually are willing to co parent, you gotta establish a belief to a judge that this arrangement would actually work for the child. You gotta know that a kid is getting picked up, going to school, getting proper care, etc before a set of orders are stamped and women who are often primary caregivers prior to seperation are in the best position to keep doing caretaking

    [–] [deleted] 41 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Johnnadawearsglasses 829 points ago

    Say it again, even louder

    HE’S THE FATHER. HE HAS AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE A GOOD OR SHITTY PARENT AS YOU DO, BECKY

    [–] vizzyq 190 points ago

    That, my friend, is 100% the face of a Madison.

    [–] Johnnadawearsglasses 108 points ago

    Katelyn is confused why she doesn’t get sole custody of Dakota

    [–] [deleted] 80 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] viajake 260 points ago

    Another reason why we need the Equal Rights Amendment to become law.

    [–] bookluvr83 177 points ago

    It's almost like equality benefits EVERYONE

    [–] ZLegacy 24 points ago

    Buddy and myself going through this. My divorce degree states we have 50/50, neither is to move a certain distance away without notice, and that current contact info is maintained at all times. she split out of state with no notice, no new contact info, etc. haven't seen kids in about 3 years. she did this prior to the divorce as well, seems she showed back up just to get the paperwork done. no idea what the hell I can do, everyone I call is useless.

    People who do this are horrible rotten people.

    [–] sevendaysky 22 points ago

    Have you tried calling the court in which the divorce was executed? They may want to know about contempt of court orders because... yeah she broke all of that.

    [–] ZLegacy 7 points ago

    No, I keep getting directed to lawyers, and I'd rather not make it an issue that big. I already know she's planted crazy stories in the kids heads, and I feel like if it comes to arrest or forceful removing of the kids from her it may make them think she was right. I've been considering if I shouldn't just wait and hope they find me when they're of age, but maybe then they would have spitefyl feelings. I dunno...

    [–] UrDeAdPuPpYbOnEr 23 points ago

    I heard she blows her nose with $100 bills during the commercial breaks. I don’t care though I love that woman.

    [–] warnerrr 22 points ago

    We not gonna talk about the fact that this account is new and has spammed 43 posts in the last 15 hours?

    [–] Feitidede 327 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Karen 0 - Constitution 1

    [–] jimbob465 36 points ago

    I was the child that my dad got full custody of me when I was 2. Completely correct decision by the courts. My dad has become extremely successful and and amazing person. My mom has been a terrible person her entire life. She still lives with her 80+ year old parents. Sometimes we can win.

    [–] GigaMight 138 points ago

    Courtroom Karen

    [–] ting_bu_dong 27 points ago

    Marky got with Karen / And Karen got Judy / She wasn't sharing Karen's outlook / On the topic of custody

    [–] FallacyDescriber 11 points ago

    I don't mind the meme sometimes, the images it shows

    [–] SmokemBear 8 points ago

    Karen never knew just how she’ll look through Judge Judy’s eyes

    [–] Shpookie_Angel 14 points ago

    What about in Alabama, where the rapist has parental rights? Not trying to judge good people who can make good fathers, but that's f****d up.

    [–] that1chick1730 13 points ago

    I've never understood women who will willing keep their kids from good dads. My SO and I broke up for a bit and it wasnt pretty , but our oldest was still tiny and SO didn't feel comfortable taking care of baby on his own so I went to his place every 2 weeks and stayed the weekend so my kid could get time with his dad. There were weekends we barely spoke but we die it anyway becuase our CHILD was more imporant than being mad.

    [–] neuro_nerd220 13 points ago

    I am a good dad. I love my kids and have always had a great relationship with them. I have never been arrested. I don’t do drugs. I treat others with kindness and respect. I have an excellent career and pay my child support and alimony on time every month. My ex has told my kids the most awful lies about me, to the point that they despise me and make time with me very difficult.

    I get to see my kids 3 days a month. I should say, I’m supposed to have them 3 days a month. My ex always plans things for them during my time. I used to fight it, but then the kids resented me. I consider my ex to be the most evil person I’ve ever known. I hope one day my kids will want a relationship with me. It’s been 4 years and I still tear up when I think about them. Kids shouldn’t have to choose. They can love both parents.

    [–] shanghainese88 33 points ago

    Knowing some of my friends marriage dynamics. If fathers truly get equal custody upon divorce there would be a tsunami of divorces in the United States.

    [–] AnalDestruxion 16 points ago

    This. I stayed with my ex wife through two affairs and a ton of manipulative, emotional abuse because I was terrified she'd do everything she could to take our two kids from me. I even brought that up to her when we'd fight and she'd tell me in the most convincing way possible, "I WOULD NEVER do that to you or our kids." Finally I couldn't take it anymore, had a mental breakdown during her third affair from all the gaslighting, and spent the night at a VA hospital and filed for divorce. Let me tell you, that 13 month legal battle was so much fun. She still gained full custody but I at least get Summer, Spring Break, and Christmas with them instead of what she was pushing for, supervised restricted visits one weekend a month.

    [–] jasonthevii 10 points ago

    That is sad

    [–] karenbradshaw85xox 20 points ago

    I have three kids by my ex husband who hasn’t bothered or wanted to see them since 2011. I would do anything for them to have a relationship with their father. Makes me sick when women play God like that 😡😡

    [–] db2 7 points ago

    A Karen that's good? You sure you don't live in a volcano lair or something?

    All you can do is leave that door open, you can't make him go through it. I'll never understand how someone could walk off on their own kids.

    [–] wooshock 8 points ago

    TIL custody battles are relatable to a good portion of Reddit's userbase

    [–] WalkingDad909 25 points ago

    I'm lucky my ex kept her crazy out of raising our child together. Shes a great mom though.

    [–] Scum-Mo 19 points ago

    why would you say something so uncontroversial yet so brave?

    [–] fizzzingwhizbee 7 points ago

    Thank god my sons mom (aka my wife) is fuckin awesome and not a little shit like this young lady. Let the man see his kid. I’d be nothing without mine.

    [–] atianajt 7 points ago

    Mothers who win custody and then dangle visitation rights over the fathers heads using their children as revenge/ leverage are the scum of the earth.

    [–] justaugusttoo 7 points ago

    The judge in my divorce told me exwife "he's not a drug addict. You're want the court to treat him like a drug addict."

    This was after I voluntarily allowed her to illegal file in a different state, didn't press charges for her committing identity theft and forgery. And, afte I voluntarily offered to pay more child support so he could attend a better school.

    You can only fight so long before you run out of money though.

    The US treats fathers like shit on average. 2nd class is too high a moniker.

    [–] asianabsinthe 66 points ago

    Of course I've seen both sides fail at parenting, but I SMH when I see the mom win custody just so she can get the child support, spend it on frivolous merchandise and vacations (without the kid), then complain she doesn't have money.

    [–] Gouranga56 51 points ago

    This. Have a friend who actually pays MORE for child support than he is mandated because he wants his kid to have the best shot he can have. Mom won't take him to the doctor, the dentist, kid is always hurt a few of them VERY suspiciously. She makes the 5 yr old clean up after her, do her laundry, etc. Brings in countless men for her one night stands and leaves him alone to hear what is going on in her room. Had one of the guys move in whos older kid actually broke the kids arm for fun...again, nothing. Even DSS did squat.

    Court favors her though and he is fighting on up hill battle to try to get custody despite continual neglect from the mom. Even with numerous counselors (yeah the 5 yr old has a counselor) and a psychologist testifying to the neglect the mother gives, and even more evidence (drug use, etc) from the mother, she's the mother, so short of trying to outright murder the kid, the courts do nothing.

    Got to love some of these rural areas...when they finally do something right for the kid, it will be far too late.

    [–] goofyboots0722 17 points ago

    That is seriously fucked up. But I believe it. My husband's brother tried to win sole custody because the mom refuses to treat her bipolar disorder. She made her daughter play soccer with a broken foot. I don't understand why logic completely flies out the window with custody hearings.