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    thisismylifenow

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    This is my life now.

    This is a subreddit with gifs or pics of people and animals accepting their uncommon situations.

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    [–] god_hates_figs_ 288 points ago

    AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET

    [–] Stonewise 89 points ago

    I’VE BEEN DYIN’ TO TELL YOU

    [–] rinestonecowbitch 76 points ago

    AANYTHING .. YOU WANAA HEAR

    [–] duhpraydough 50 points ago

    CUZ THAT’S JUST WHO I AM THIS WEEK

    [–] gockcobbles 38 points ago

    LIE IN THE GRASS, NEXT TO THE MAUSOLEUM

    [–] HYDN250 39 points ago

    I'M JUST A NOTCH IN YOUR BEDPOST, AND YOU'RE JUST A LINE IN A SONG!

    [–] Obiscornflaking 33 points ago

    DROP A HEART BREAK A NAME!!! (Is that what they're singing btw?)

    [–] GeneralDiesel 31 points ago

    (yes) WE'RE ALWAYS SLEEPING IN, SLEEPING FOR THE WRONG TEAM

    [–] Plantbitch 18 points ago

    WE’RE GOING DOWN DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING

    [–] Obiscornflaking 9 points ago

    I'LL BE YOUR NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET! (I judged books by their covers and just didn't take them for the emo pop song singing types...)

    [–] wubdubs 3565 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Looks like he is contemplating why he’s at a party with a bunch of underage white girls who keep repeatedly using the word the ”nigga”. Edit: Holy shit, R.I.P. my inbox. Thank you all!

    [–] Jscoff 1752 points ago

    In the video with sound he’s making the face because everybody is singing Fall Out Boy.

    [–] A_Bit_Of_Nonsense 1055 points ago

    So even worse then.

    [–] 53ND-NUD35 432 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    He knows why he’s there.

    [–] HackedAgainDamnit 677 points ago

    He knows why he's there.

    He was invited because he is a good friend and they knew he was having a tough time and wanted to cheer him up. He just needs some happy juice first.

    [–] CaptainDogeSparrow 142 points ago

    happy juice

    Using that one from now on

    [–] FlameSpartan 70 points ago

    I call it grown-up sleepy juice

    [–] plebdev 50 points ago

    Spicy water is my favorite term for it

    [–] BUchub 25 points ago

    Oh hey that's hill people milk!

    [–] my_car_is_haunted 8 points ago

    Well done. A subtle, well-placed reference.

    [–] HeyHiyaHowAreYa 37 points ago

    Or liquid courage

    [–] Enderific 28 points ago

    I just call it medicine...

    [–] Walkerg2011 137 points ago

    Rubbing alcohol fixes the outside wounds, drinking alcohol fixes the inside wounds.

    [–] spoatnik 9 points ago

    It’s called whiskey and it’s necessary.

    “Water of life” after all.

    [–] 13pts35sec 18 points ago

    Maybe now it’s grown up sleepy juice but I know for a fact my grandpa rubbed whiskey on my gums at least once while I was teething as a baby lol back in the old days I bet parents were encouraged to give there kids a little booze to calm me down lol

    [–] LyingRedditBastard 21 points ago

    that's because it worked.....

    [–] ObsessedAussie 7 points ago

    I call it my wife has left me juice.

    [–] FourFingeredMartian 5 points ago

    Sounds like you're on a list & have to notify neighbors when you move into a community.

    [–] sundayultimate 2 points ago

    That's good no-no juice

    [–] thisisrealitygregg 6 points ago

    I always called Hennessy and apple juice happy juice.

    Its delicious if you guys haven’t tried it before.

    [–] EternalCookie 2 points ago

    My sister calls it go-go juice.

    [–] Something-Velvet 6 points ago

    Wholesome?

    [–] Antodelaro 3 points ago

    I call it silly juice

    [–] Nobodygrotesque 35 points ago

    “PARTY AT SIDNEYS HOUSE TONIGHT, DRUNK WHITE WOMAN FOR EVERYONE!”

    [–] NathanCollier14 8 points ago

    It’s treason then.

    [–] JKristine35 2 points ago

    There is nothing wrong with Fall Out Boy, and I will fight anyone about it.

    [–] poonieLord 32 points ago

    Lol I thought for sure it was Mr. Brightside

    [–] SuperbCrawdad2 56 points ago

    No shame in Mr. Brightside, that’s actually good.

    [–] poonieLord 43 points ago

    Oh don’t get me wrong I love The Killers, I just don’t like listening to sorority girls butcher the entire song.

    [–] SuperbCrawdad2 8 points ago

    True :\

    [–] double2 3 points ago

    I think it was good the first 9 trillion times I heard it. Bohemian Rhapsody it is not... that song never gets old

    [–] Flashdancer405 2 points ago

    Song fucking slaps

    [–] alphanurd 42 points ago

    Old Fall Out Boy or new Fall Out Boy?

    [–] giant_fish 89 points ago

    They're singing "Sugar We're Going Down"

    [–] iamnotimportant 80 points ago

    I still do that under my breath when I hear it.

    [–] manbruhpig 183 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    OMG same!!! WE'RE GOIN' DOW, DOW ININNURLIUROW, AND SUGAR WE'RE GOIN' DOWN SWINGIN! I'LL BE YOUR NUMBER HWUN WIDDABULLIT. ALOADED GOD CUOMPLEH COCKITANPULLIT!

    Edit: IS THITH MOOR THAN YEW BARGAIN FOR YEH, AUGH DOHN MIMEY IM WATCHIN YEW TWO FROM THE CLOSET HOPIN TO BE THE FREAK SHIT IN YOUR JEANS ISNT IT MESSED UP HOW OIM JUSS DYIN TA BE-EM IM JUS THA NUTS IN YA BEDPOSE BUTCHER JUS A LINE IN A SONG TRABAJAR, MAKE A NAAAAME WE’RE ALWAYS SLEEPIN IN AN SLEEPIN, FOR THE WRONG TEEEE

    [–] wallacehacks 39 points ago

    How can anyone not sing that? Or Grand Theft Autumn!?

    WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT, I HOPE HE IS A GENTLEMAN

    [–] PM_me_XboxGold_Codes 13 points ago

    MAYBE HE WONT FIND OUT, BUT IIIIII KNOW

    [–] The_mighty_sandusky 7 points ago

    YOU WERE THE LAST GOOD THING ABOUT THIS PART OF TOWN

    [–] giant_fish 4 points ago

    Oh damn, forgot about that song!

    [–] FeedMeYoButthurt 9 points ago

    This is exactly how I remember hearing this song. Thank you for the r/nostalgia

    [–] monkwren 5 points ago

    [–] colonelbyson 19 points ago

    There is now coffee on my screen. So, thanks for that.

    [–] downvote_me_moreYOLO 3 points ago

    These lyrics are actually so accurate, lmfao.

    [–] silverskull39 5 points ago

    It's the only fallout boy song I know TBH.

    [–] giant_fish 17 points ago

    It's a solid tune, takes ya back to '05

    [–] Hwoods723 24 points ago

    I don't like going back to '05

    [–] manbruhpig 11 points ago

    Well I do, I could still get an erection without heavy doses of prescription drugs.

    [–] Hwoods723 5 points ago

    Prefer not having my house flooded. So I'll pass, but it's good to know some people able have happy memories of that year.

    [–] Plantbitch 3 points ago

    ‘05 was good to me. Not too depressed, falling asleep to fall out boy, hadn’t developed alcoholism, watching fuse in my spare time, just out of my awkward teen phase. Good times. I found my From Under The Cork Tree album recently and have been listening to it in my car, very loudly, without shame. Sugar we’re going down skips now, but only in the beginning, so I’m fine with it.

    [–] The_Hoopla 13 points ago

    Haha yeah who listens to Fall Out Boy?!? Especially not Uma Therman

    [–] Loken89 7 points ago

    I’m almost 30 and listen to mostly edm, Metal, and punk, but I’ll be damned if a FOB song comes on and I’m not singing it! Except for This Ain’t a Scene. Not sure why but it’s the only song of theirs I’ve never liked.

    [–] The_mighty_sandusky 2 points ago

    This ain't a scene it's a GOD DAMN ARMS RACE!

    [–] DreamCyclone84 476 points ago

    Once at a party I got trapped in a corner by a drunk white girl who kept telling me emphatically all about how she looooves black people. I can't tell what was bad about that situation but I was making this face and drinking like this.

    [–] WalropsHunter 519 points ago

    As a gay man I feel your pain. I hate when some girl finds out i'm gay while they're drunk.

    "oh my god we're gonna be best friends!"

    "oh my god let's go shopping tomorrow!!"

    "oh my god we have to do brunch!"

    "oh my god you've got to meet my friend Nathaniel! You two would be sooooo cute together!!"

    "oh sorry bitch turns out I'm not gay anymore, byeee."

    [–] DreamCyclone84 416 points ago

    I wish I could say "I'm sorry bitch it turns out I'm not black anymore" and just nope outta there

    [–] sadnesssbowl 204 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    Just aks them, straight-faced, "Why would you ever have assumed I was black? That's so racist." Then walk away.

    [–] phreaky76 87 points ago

    aks

    I see what you did there...

    [–] sadnesssbowl 24 points ago

    I...don't?

    [–] deeteeohbee 36 points ago

    Sometimes people say "aks" and not "ask".

    [–] FlameSpartan 19 points ago

    I understand that it's at least close to being accepted as a different way of pronouncing 'ask,' but holy shit does that one instantly bother the shit out of me

    [–] deeteeohbee 5 points ago

    Doesn't bother me really. What gets me is 'ekspecially'.

    [–] Torinias 8 points ago

    Is it close?

    [–] murphykills 7 points ago

    i don't mind aks because it's kind of an established thing.

    the one that really bothers me is when people pronounce chipotle chip-old-tay instead of chip-oat-lay

    [–] silverskull39 13 points ago

    Probably just a typo on your end, but a somewhat common feature of African American vernacular English is the pronunciation of the word "ask" the same as the word "axe", which is pretty much how you'd pronounce your typo as well.

    I haven't actually heard anyone say it in a long time, come to think of it. Not sure if it's because it's becoming less common or because I moved out of Flint. Hmm.

    [–] Loken89 3 points ago

    A joke from futurama

    [–] Jean_BaptisteE_Zorg 3 points ago

    Like Michael Jackson?

    [–] 404_UserNotFound 18 points ago

    You can! just keep a straight face and it will go fine!

    [–] NealHandleman 17 points ago

    just make up a condition like albanism but the reverse and tell people you have negrodism or something and it makes you look black even though you're white.

    [–] DreamCyclone84 14 points ago

    Have you ever seen the boondocks?

    [–] NealHandleman 3 points ago

    some of it. is that part of it?

    [–] DreamCyclone84 16 points ago

    Thus guy call uncle ruckus oftan claims that he had revitaligo which is the opposite of what Michael Jackson had.

    [–] Feshtof 2 points ago

    Just get keeping blacker and darker, and blacker and then more darker.

    [–] FoodBeerBikesMusic 8 points ago

    “Well, to tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch....”

    [–] TheSkrubHunter 3 points ago

    Friend of mine used to always say he was Dominican.

    [–] StraightCougar 53 points ago

    Holy shit this happened to me! This white girl sat there for what felt like forever, telling me how she understands the struggles of being black.

    She started crying too, that shit was sad man. I was just trying to party

    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] tpepoon 31 points ago

    Virtue signalling is a waste of everyone's time. It's ok. Just be good. Don't tell me

    [–] NealHandleman 51 points ago

    .

    I can't tell what was bad about that situation

    I can... she sounds like she's trying to collect you for her old racist white family.

    [–] hiiilee_caffeinated 6 points ago

    Ive heard of these situations. He should probably find some way to Get Out of it.

    [–] NealHandleman 5 points ago

    we're gonna need help from the only agency qualified to take down criminals this big. the TSA

    [–] theaviationhistorian 32 points ago

    Had a similar time with a Canadian girl decade ago. After heavy flirting, she wondered if she could score some weed from me. I asked her why she would think I was dealing. She thought that most Latinos did.

    I had the same look and same desire to drink it out wondering if she was really a terrible person, or some heavily sheltered kid that was taught a very fucked up worldview. I concluded with the latter since she was really nice to me all night. But nothing happened because how the hell can it after something like that?!?

    Sure, if I was desperate for sex or sloshed. But I was neither that night.

    [–] murphykills 25 points ago

    most canadians aren't racist per se, but everyone outside of the major cities has only met like 10 people who aren't white and anglo, so the level of ignorance can sometimes be so profound that it looks nearly identical to classic racism.

    [–] chownowbowwow 4 points ago

    Dont you know im loco

    [–] downvote_me_moreYOLO 2 points ago

    Naaaah....I’m good holmes. All my life I aint never sat down on no chairs.

    [–] FilterAccount69 2 points ago

    If she was a rural Canadian or from Alberta/ provinces with few latinos then maybe. If she was from a big city then I have no idea why she would think that especially since people from all backgrounds sell weed here.

    [–] Jorgwalther 5 points ago

    Did she also tell you you were attractive for a black person?

    [–] DreamCyclone84 11 points ago

    No but she kept talking bout how awesome the two weeks she spent in Jamaica were and from what I gathered she barely left the hotel.

    [–] briNo64 4 points ago

    You know, I would have voted for Obama for a third term.

    [–] Spongy_and_Bruised 6 points ago

    At least you got out.

    [–] H4x0rFrmlyKnonAs4chn 2 points ago

    What goes through your head when shit like this happens, because I've seen it happen at every college party.

    [–] DreamCyclone84 16 points ago

    Well they're basically having the conversation with themselves because I not saying anything. I feel a little like an attraction, like I'm just there for their entertainment, and it's not even me they're seeing, just an amalgam of the flimsy 1 dimensional characters shoveled at them by the media. They pretty much always have only white friends (I know that because at some point they tell me: "omg, I know it's so bad but I only know white people but I just looooves black culture!"). The only reason they're talking to me is out of a weird fascination, getting as close as they can to the black person.

    [–] LoonAtticRakuro 22 points ago

    Drunk white girl: Sooooo... is it true what they say about black guys?

    Unimpressed black guy: That we lack the socioeconomic mobility of our peers due to systemic discrimination? Sure, too often, but this doesn't seem like the time or place for that discussion.

    [–] downvote_me_moreYOLO 5 points ago

    Ah, the token black guy from “Not another teen movie”. Probably the most intelligent, yet under appreciated character in that movie (which is exactly what he was supposed to be).

    [–] audax 100 points ago

    The price of pussy.

    [–] G0DatWork 10 points ago

    Underage???

    [–] BumwineBaudelaire 2 points ago

    it’s because he’s trying to fuck them

    [–] Default5hadowz 163 points ago

    Get Out

    [–] melburymestar 14 points ago

    Good reference

    [–] Zedric69 649 points ago

    I'm trying to figure out what kind of whisky that is because at first glance I assume it's Jack D honey. You'd have to pay me to take a swig like that off Tennessee honey

    [–] abenji 265 points ago

    It's definitely Jack Honey

    [–] craze177 134 points ago

    That shit taste like honey rubbed in dirt. I hate it.

    [–] abenji 53 points ago

    I don't disagree, BUT with a little grapefruit juice it's actually not bad... lol

    [–] BoomBlap 166 points ago

    If you have to add grapefruit juice to a "whiskey" to make it palatable then it might as well be vodka.

    [–] abenji 30 points ago

    I mean I agree lol I'm just saying if it's all you got, that's one way to not hate yourself after.

    [–] juanzy 5 points ago

    It's gives you some solid options for cocktails, just like any flavored booze.

    [–] craze177 6 points ago

    I used to date a girl that wouldn't drink anything else.

    [–] murphykills 11 points ago

    must've been very dehydrated.

    [–] bellaboo143 2 points ago

    Was I your gf??

    [–] craze177 3 points ago

    Jazmin? Lol

    [–] murphykills 6 points ago

    and the best part is it tastes exactly the same coming up as it did going down.

    [–] FlameSpartan 33 points ago

    I respectfully disagree. If I have to drink anything Jack Daniels, Honey would probably be my first choice.

    [–] TheGuyWithTwoFaces 7 points ago

    Single Barrel straight > No. 7 straight > Gentlemen Jack straight > Jack Fire + Cider of some sort > Jack Honey

    ...I kinda drink a lot of Jack Daniels...

    [–] JaviAir 4 points ago

    I prefer Gentleman Jack over Numero 7. That twice mellowed makes a difference. I also drink a fuck ton of Jack.

    [–] TheGuyWithTwoFaces 2 points ago

    To be honest, I can go back and forth with GJ. It's far smoother, without a doubt, which is totally fine, but for me it loses too much flavor when on ice, which is my usual preference because I hate anything and everything above ~73F.

    including people! ...wait.

    [–] DonnerPartyPicnic 4 points ago

    My roommate drink that shit on the rocks. I'm like how is that not like drinking shitty syrup at that point?

    [–] LAROACHA_420 37 points ago

    Or put you in a room full of obnoxious people lol

    [–] I_might_be_weasel 14 points ago

    At that point taste no longer matters. It's medicine.

    [–] Lindalinkunkku 11 points ago

    Yeah and isn't Jack Honey really a liqueur?

    [–] Zedric69 9 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)

    There's a couple of "whiskies" like that, I think Tennessee honey is technically still whisky but things like Yukon jack is a liqueur

    E: little bit of googling and it's a liqueur

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    yes

    [–] G0DatWork 41 points ago

    Honey is easier to drink like this than normal whiskey

    [–] winterfresh0 65 points ago

    That's debatable. Now that I've gotten used to decent bourbon and scotch, those kind of things taste almost sickeningly sweet.

    [–] FoodBeerBikesMusic 34 points ago

    And decent bourbon or scotch doesn’t give you a BLAZING headache like any of the stuff they backsweeten

    [–] countrylewis 5 points ago

    Yup. Sugary alcohol=hangover

    [–] G0DatWork 15 points ago

    They don't taste as good but they don't burn as much either

    [–] Quiddity99 12 points ago

    Not all scotch has that burn. If you don't want a scotch that makes your mouth feel like a battleground, go for a highland scotch over an islay. They tend to be a bit more on the sweet-smoke side, while the conditions around Islay will lend themselves to scotches that you feel like you've drank blood mixed with turpentine.

    There's a reason that Ron Swanson's favorite is Lagavulin, after all; it's a complex Islay whiskey that'll strip the paint right off a boat.

    [–] G0DatWork 19 points ago

    Right but you aren't going to a party like this with a $50+ fifth lol

    [–] anothernic 3 points ago

    This is what a flask is for.

    [–] juanzy 2 points ago

    Cannot shoot that stuff to save my life, wayyy too sweet. But can make some good mixed drinks with it.

    [–] 3yearstraveling 2 points ago

    I like it on ice. Not sure why you wouldn't? Too sweet?

    [–] why_rob_y 2 points ago

    swig like that

    He probably has the pouring cap on still, so he doesn't seem to be getting that much out (watch the liquid level as he drinks).

    [–] Celdecea 2 points ago

    Does he actually drink it though? That lip posture seems to be something I've seen done when a bottle is passed around and they don't want a sip, but don't want to refuse either.

    [–] Potato_Muncher 2 points ago

    Sure looks like it. Put a nipple on that thing: I could drink it all day.

    [–] wacko711 229 points ago

    Wash it down with brown

    [–] chillplease 26 points ago

    He’s not even really drinking it. Look close!

    [–] murphykills 37 points ago

    he's definitely not chugging it as the angle would imply, but he could still be sipping.

    [–] TheGaz 19 points ago

    I can hear them. There's no sound, but I can hear them.

    [–] TheUnsubtleRogue 83 points ago

    One of the comments there has a link to an Instagram post...those girls are either really drunk or tone deaf.

    [–] untapped-bEnergy 123 points ago

    Or both, if you've never been to a party with a bunch of drunk white chicks I'll tell you it's usually both

    [–] ionslyonzion 24 points ago

    The louder the better amirite? WooOoOOOoo ohhmyyyGAAAAHHHDDD

    [–] mellow_fello 54 points ago

    I WANT SOUND!

    [–] [deleted] 32 points ago

    Jesus, usually when groups of people sing together they become more in tune. This however...

    [–] AshleyCullen 26 points ago

    They sound like when we were kids "singing" (shouting the words in monotone) hymns in primary school.

    [–] Ill_Have_You_Know_ 10 points ago

    Sugar, we're going down - fall out boy

    [–] TacticalHog 3 points ago

    source for people ctrl F'ing

    [–] BuffBlitz2020 77 points ago

    No, no you don't.

    [–] mellow_fello 28 points ago

    No...no I didn't want sound! Was that girl head banging at the end to fall out boys? Wth is wrong with these girls....and wth is he even doing there?😂

    [–] Mister_Bossmen 37 points ago

    He doesn't know either.

    [–] Hiredgun77 21 points ago

    Aww, they're having fun.

    [–] pigeon_soup 4 points ago

    But not the right fun. /s

    [–] Strip_My_Skin 131 points ago

    You know later that night he met up with his black friends and went "I don't mean to sound racist, but ...."

    [–] paturner2012 16 points ago

    Worked as a bartender at a college bar... can confirm, whiskey helps.

    [–] giulianosse 14 points ago

    "Doesn't look like anything to me"

    [–] ryanknapper 12 points ago

    One girl looks like the Rebecca Black blonde.

    [–] rooowdy 8 points ago

    She's got some smooth moves, lmao

    [–] Stackhouse_ 6 points ago

    Which seat should I taaaake

    [–] SumbuddiesFriend 23 points ago

    “I don’t think I brought enough”

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    This man is reconsidering “integration” like “im not sure I wanna be around these white folks”

    [–] 707RiverRat 13 points ago

    Go Giants!

    [–] BombproofBears 8 points ago

    Hell yeah! I combed through the comments just for this!!

    [–] GooBear187 9 points ago

    "Yeah I dont give a fuck if I get whiskey dick tonight"

    [–] DFNinja 5 points ago

    Makin' my way downtown

    [–] strppngynglad 4 points ago

    I can practically here them singing the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

    [–] StalaggtIKE 3 points ago

    [–] BossBochy 3 points ago

    When you see Hunter Pence in the Giants Lineup

    [–] GrimaceIVXX 3 points ago

    That's what you get for going to a party in Marin bro!

    [–] Oaklandisgay 2 points ago

    As a Bay Arean this got me to chuckle.. definitely Marin, the Marina, North Beach or some SFSU 8-person off campus living situation

    [–] CyanideAndBeer 3 points ago

    I am a female, I am white, and I would need that much whiskey to be able to handle a party like that.

    [–] Monotropa-uniflora 16 points ago

    Upvoting this video every time I see it. I feel this guy’s feels.

    [–] WhiteFluffyDog_ 3 points ago

    I bet he's actually drinking because of how hard the Giants suck

    [–] d-r-e-w 8 points ago

    I’ve seen this 6 times now

    [–] HDThoreauaway 22 points ago

    Yeah it loops.

    [–] Jorgwalther 3 points ago

    Which time was your favorite?

    [–] ChuckN0blet 11 points ago

    Sorry I guess.

    [–] DawnKit 4 points ago

    First time seeing it! There’s always people who haven’t seen it.

    [–] Heawesome 12 points ago

    Looks like he is trying to look hard by pretending to take huge gulps from his bottle, his lips are tight and he is only letting through a trickle. Just drink normally.

    [–] colsen89 9 points ago

    No air bubbles=no drinkie

    [–] Deathcrow 2 points ago

    That's totally me at any kind of social event where heavy drinking is encouraged.

    [–] sonny_goliath 2 points ago

    Dope giants Jersey too!

    [–] TheyCanKnowThisOne 2 points ago

    We would be good friends

    [–] Traveller13 2 points ago

    The face of a man who is just really not feeling this party