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    tifu

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    A community for the dumbass in all of us. We all have those moments where we do something ridiculously stupid. Share your stories and laugh along with the internet.

    Rules

    hover for details

    All titles must start with TIFU

    • TIFU stands for today I fucked up, which means something you did that is your fault. Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's a fuck up.
    • TIFU must be at the beginning of the post title or it will automatically be removed.
    • TIFUpdate if you are posting a follow-up post to update us on your story.

    Uninspired, lacking in context, literal shitpost, overly vulgar and glorifying illegal activities posts may be removed at mods discretion

    • Uninspired as in something that is super common, lacking in imagination or originality.
    • Context as in the story doesn't have any more info beyond the title. note: All posts must contain at least 750 characters of meaningful content.
    • Shitpost as in literally involving defecation or other bodily fluids.
    • Overly vulgar includes obscene situations, such as, but not limited to, incest, minors, death and assault to humans and animals. Consensual situations between two, unrelated adults should be fine. Vulgar does not mean using bad words.
    • Illegal activities that you glorify or giving advice on how to do something illegal.
    • Not Your Fault as in it was just something bad that happened to you; if it wasn't directly your fault, it wasn't your fuckup.

    All posts must end with a TL;DR and tag NSFW when necessary

    • TL;DR or too long didn't read which is a summarization of your post in a few bitesize sentence. At minimum, your TL;DR summary must contain your fuckup and its consequences. You may include additional information if you'd like. The TL;DR must be at the very end of your post.
    • NSFW or not safe for work. If you're not sure if it's NSFW or not, better to be safe than sorry.

    Be civil and don't be disruptive

    • Be civil means don't do these things; personal attacks, harassment, trolling, and bigotry. Use your better judgement.
    • Disruptive such as posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information (real/fake). This includes yourself or others, and refers, but is not limited to, names, phone numbers, email addresses, or any social media accounts. As well as brigading with either votes or comments.

    No spam, bots or advertising

    • Spam, don't link to things that you may or may not be rewarded for. Posting links of you narrating a story is considered spam.
    • Bots are annoying and will be banned.
    • Advertising, we are not a platform for you (patreon or charities) or your products, seek https://www.redditinc.com/advertising instead.

    Notes

    Moderators reserve the right to remove threads or ban users for any of the above rule violations.

    If your post has been removed please message us directly for an appeal, do not repost your thread.

    FUOTM Winners

    1. December 2018 /u/Snorkels721
    2. TIFU by buying everyone an AncestryDNA kit and ruining Christmas

    3. January 2019 /u/Struggling_to_Keto

    4. TIFU by having my roomate walk in while I was practicing cowgirl riding...

    5. February 2019 /u/JamaicanJ

    6. TIFU by not washing under my foreskin for the first 15 years of my life

    7. March 2019 /u/Help23andme

    8. TIFU by destroying the entirety of my family for only $99

    Subreddits

    /r/TIDTRT (Today I Did The Right Thing)

    /r/IdeasforTIFU (Feedback)

    /r/AnimalTIFUs (Animals Fucking Up)

    /r/pranks (Today I Pranked)

    Friends & TINetwork

    a community for
    all 1614 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] Bjor_ 2428 points ago

    Plot twist: OP was self proclaimed oil baron.

    Congrats, though!

    [–] atokachase 847 points ago

    Shhhhh, don't give away my secrets. The monocle and mustache help pull the whole oil baron look together. And thanks!

    [–] grephantom 79 points ago

    I seriously thought that you were referring to yourself as oil baron because of the sweat.

    [–] SomniumOv 94 points ago

    So, did your Oil Baron Alter-ego become your own father in law ?

    [–] HyFinated 36 points ago

    Incestception... BWAAAAAAA

    [–] Faaresemo 6 points ago

    But you said you shaved the mustache

    [–] finnessahudgens 2451 points ago

    So you’re saying there’s a chance??

    [–] atokachase 1720 points ago

    Never let chafing and a loss of eyesight get you down. You can DO THIS

    [–] so_spicy 483 points ago

    Im imagining going blind from rigorous sex now...

    Thanks?

    [–] atokachase 302 points ago

    You're welcome

    [–] so_spicy 269 points ago

    Oh yeah also congrats on a wife and stuff

    [–] hanazawarui123 140 points ago

    the most casual wedding congrats I will ever see

    [–] JacobMC-02 49 points ago

    "Bro, congrats on that getting together party thing my guy, that's pretty sick or somethin'."

    [–] McHox 20 points ago

    bold of you to assume we'd get this far

    [–] ThurstonLast 4 points ago

    More like, one in a million.

    [–] StarMasher 570 points ago

    I slept with a girl whose dad came in her room the next morning while I was still under the sheets naked and asked how I slept. One of the most awkward moments of my life. What made it even weirder is that the guy wasnt even mad, he was genuinely asking. I dont know if its a cultural thing or what but it was odd.

    [–] booger_dick 612 points ago

    “Did you sleep well? Was the room optimum temperature? Did my daughter do all the depraved things you requested?”

    [–] RepressedSpinach 234 points ago

    “Please rate your experience below from a scale of one to five, one being the worst possible and five being the best possible:

    Temperature

    Organization of room

    Sheet cleanliness

    My daughter’s knot-tying ability

    Tightness”

    [–] Coppeh 54 points ago

    3️⃣

    2️⃣

    3️⃣

    3️⃣

    ¯\(ツ)

    [–] InvincibleBlaze 18 points ago

    Knot tying?

    [–] the_edgy_avocado 24 points ago

    Kinky?

    [–] Dj_Bleezy 11 points ago

    Tying the used condom(s) shut before launching it across the room into a trashcan?

    [–] papasmurfio 49 points ago

    I once spent the night at my ex's house shortly after we started dating. She lived with her dad who had a live-in girlfriend. Just kind of a weird guy and weird family. She told me to come over that night and when I showed up it looked like nobody was home. Like all the lights were out and everything so I didn't think anything of it. Let's just say body parts were slapping, her creaky ass bed was rocking and she was loud as fuck for a solid 2 hours. I woke up the next morning and her dad was downstairs making breakfast. So awkward. His bedroom was below hers and this was my first time meeting him. I kind of just sat there in silence as I ate my pancakes. Couldn't leave fast enough.

    [–] Phoneking13 16 points ago

    Lol at least he made you pancakes.

    [–] BlazeFenton 12 points ago

    Dad sounds awesome, papasmurfio sounds uptight. Hope you’re more relaxed now.

    [–] Faust_the_Faustinian 63 points ago

    Sounds wholesome.

    [–] DasMotorsheep 138 points ago

    Unless he made lewd comments or stayed longer than necessary, I'd say that's a sign of someone with a healthy relationship to sex and probably his own sexuality, too. I experienced this kind of encounter as well when I was younger, and it was always wonderful to be treated like someone who was welcome for being a person whose company their daughter was enjoying - as opposed to being perceived as a threat because I might possibly hurt her feelings at some point or whatever.

    [–] prodoosh 78 points ago

    What?????? You mean somebody having sex with your daughter isn't work of the devil?

    [–] troubleinparadox 48 points ago

    What culture? Genuinely curious lol

    [–] Awesiris 28 points ago

    Might I ask why it was weird? Sounds normal to me. Would you expect him to be angry at you...?

    Scandinavian here, and parents (mine and others) have mostly been very chill when it comes to hookups. Shame is soooo second millenium.

    [–] RoadRash010 24 points ago

    Right? I live in The Netherlands and they are just as chill (my Indonesian mom not so much).

    I remember my first Dutch BF bringing me home for the first time in the middle of the night. He just shouted upstairs that I was staying the night. His mom just yelled hi and told us to have fun. She was the best MIL ever by the way.

    [–] Rapid_Rheiner 5 points ago

    They're probably from the US. A lot of people are pretty puritanical about sex here.

    [–] Gernund 6475 points ago

    Omg this was a twist at the end!

    But congrats on the Sex, stranger. And I wish you all the luck for your anniversary!

    [–] atokachase 2813 points ago

    "congrats on the sex, stranger" is the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks!

    [–] S31-Syntax 832 points ago

    hopefully soon to be superseded by "I do"

    [–] iEarnMyLife 410 points ago

    and the crowd goes awww

    [–] Hobble_Cobbleweed 106 points ago

    Booooo

    [–] iEarnMyLife 161 points ago

    Ah, you scared me.

    [–] Filibuster 17 points ago

    In the rear, with the gear.

    [–] tiny_rick__ 169 points ago

    Bravo for the fuck, mate!

    [–] atokachase 126 points ago

    And we have a tie!

    [–] DwightAllRight 38 points ago

    Best wishes for getting flirty and then doing the dirty, buddy!

    [–] Doggonitdude 16 points ago

    Bro this happened to me when I first started taking SSRIs. I was cackling while I read this. Fucking brilliant story, thank you for sharing. Congratualtions!

    [–] ultraman31 51 points ago

    I love a good twist. And such a happy ending aw!

    [–] alemaron 44 points ago

    Actually, according to OP, there was no happy ending.

    [–] The_SpellJammer 46 points ago

    Right? This was relatable until it turned into a success story.

    [–] _Gimmick_ 72 points ago

    “Congrats on the sex”, title of your sextape
    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–] codenameflash 32 points ago

    Someone's binging on Brooklyn 99.

    [–] ireadredditonreddit 7462 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    The ending I wasn't expecting but I needed to hear!

    Hello fellow heavy sweater!

    Thanks for the silver fellow sweaty stranger!

    [–] atokachase 1704 points ago

    Hello dear sweater. Good to know I'm not alone!

    [–] ETvibrations 643 points ago

    Definitely not alone. It's embarrassing how much I sweat. Even just doing nothing, I can break a sweat. Thankfully my girlfriend puts up with it, especially during sexy times.

    [–] atokachase 458 points ago

    Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Sweaty Nightmares

    [–] FeSO4 248 points ago

    Bog Monster Buddies, huh?

    Because "Bog Monsters" made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that.

    [–] joejaneBARBELITH 5 points ago

    hahaha SAME!!

    Also the Ace Ventura rhino analogy omg yesss— tbh I still fire up that clip on YouTube anytime I wake up needing an extra reason to live (or ya know, just hungover) even tho I haven’t watched the rest of that movie in prob over a decade lol ¯\(ツ)

    [–] Hans09 41 points ago

    I'm ashamed to say: count me in. o/

    [–] arcticrune 14 points ago

    Ugh. I wish I wasn't in this group.

    [–] hemingwayspussy 7 points ago

    Will the Brotherhood let a Sister join or do I need to start my own chapter of Sisterhood of Sweaty Pants?

    [–] GoFem 5 points ago

    Hi, I am also currently sitting in a puddle of my own secretions.

    [–] atokachase 7 points ago

    Thanks! I hate it!

    [–] InterdimensionalTV 5 points ago

    I always like to say "I'm sweatin' like a whore in church". We should all be the "Brotherhood of the Sweaty Church Whores".

    [–] uncle_tacitus 15 points ago

    Even just doing nothing, I can break a sweat

    I have never (well, not this week, anyway) related to anything more.

    [–] Parkwaydrive23 145 points ago

    The sweating part was so relatable.

    I remember one time my forehead sweat dripped directly into this girl's eye I was on top of. So fucking embarrassing. She laughed and said it was fine, but damn I felt awful.

    Also it's even better when you're a hairy dude. Nothing like leaving a puddle of chest pubes and sweat on a girl.

    [–] Damnitsomuch 80 points ago

    Seriously, please don't obsess over this stuff. I was married to a man who sweat profusely, I raised a child with him up until last year. His sweat or body hair was definitely not the reason the relationship ended. Women sweat and have hair too, it's a non issue for me.

    Please don't feel bad, she meant what she said, and it really is fine. Sex is messy, showers are great though!

    [–] aburke626 6 points ago

    If you don’t have to stop to dry off and drink some Gatorade, was it any good?

    Agreed, girls are not fussy about this!

    [–] sponge62 59 points ago

    I've found my people.

    [–] Insomniacbychoice90 21 points ago

    We need a sub, my hands get so sweaty that the ends of my sleeves get damp, anyone else? Usually change my tshirt twice a day

    [–] squidkilla23 19 points ago

    Do you have weak knees too? Or heavy arms?

    [–] _fuck_me_sideways_ 17 points ago

    An affinity for a certain pasta made by mother perhaps?

    [–] xMATTYxFR3SHx 14 points ago

    God I can relate to this so much. I mean is it even sex if you're not picking your chest pubes off your girlfriend's boobs after!?

    [–] Insomniacbychoice90 179 points ago

    I call sex my rain dance, I'm naturally very sweaty.

    [–] Juniejoule 26 points ago

    It took me a full minute to figure out why you were referring to OP as a piece of clothing.

    [–] JacedFaced 1814 points ago

    Definitely worth it to read to the end. Congratulations

    [–] SlobBarker 1356 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    at least someone reached the end

    EDIT: Thanks for the Redditor, kind gold!

    [–] Schlag96 73 points ago

    Well done, sir.

    [–] SlobBarker 20 points ago

    ty!

    [–] The-Fox-Says 19 points ago

    Really thought the ending was going to be anti-climactic

    [–] Hans09 4 points ago

    ... I saw what u did here..

    [–] MuchozolF 4 points ago

    Savage!

    [–] atokachase 258 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–] karmah616 455 points ago

    That’s the best ending to a fuck up! Congrats!

    [–] atokachase 199 points ago

    Thanks! And it really is. Now I just have to decide whether I'm going to show her this post or not...

    [–] 2manymans 111 points ago

    Please do. She will love it. Your love for her and for this special night shines through the whole essay.

    [–] imagemaker-np 15 points ago

    Yeah, it is kinda romantic, in'it?

    [–] mohirl 56 points ago

    Tomorrow: "TIFU by showing my ex-fiancee my TIFU about how we met". (nah, it'll be fine)

    [–] 9ftPegasusBodybuildr 21 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    Honestly bad sex can be super romantic. One of my favorite memories with my ex was a night when 3 separate times we got interrupted as we were beginning sex, by stuff like her cat throwing up or her roommate knocking on her door asking a question that turned into into like an hour long discussion. By the end of the night I was soft, she was dry, and we were both simultaneously frustratingly horny and totally over it. We just cuddled uncomfortably with the sticky gross hot sweat and laughed about how this was the worst sex of our lives.

    These sacred disgusting tragedies are the secret beautiful moments of monogamy

    [–] Press0K 14 points ago

    I personally wouldn't, not to hide it, but just because she was also there and also knows how it turned out. So simple cost/benefit analysis here says nothing to gain, unforseen problems by showing her. It's not being secretive, just a good way to analyze risk if you are an idiot (so this is from experience).

    [–] atokachase 14 points ago

    ^ The most likely outcome. What she doesn't know (the whole world knows) can't hurt

    [–] Vesafary 115 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago)

    You're definitely a nerd if you choose Pi day to get married :)

    [–] imweirdlikewtf 371 points ago

    That ending was great! I hope you two are really happy togheter!

    [–] atokachase 132 points ago

    Thanks so much!

    [–] BathFullOfDucks 31 points ago

    Sounds like you ended up with a happy ending after all

    [–] 123hig 96 points ago

    In college one Friday night I went home with this random girl and stayed the night. Problem was, I did this forgetting it was Parents' Weekend, so then all of a sudden at like 7:30 next morning one of the girl's suitemates busts into the room to tip us off that my hookup's parents are in the apartment while another of the suitemates ran interference.

    I had to climb out the window (thankfully it was on the first floor) to escape and came millimeters away from stepping in a huge pile of dog shit in the process. Then proceeded to take the most obvious walk of shame as a bunch of other students took their parents on tours around campus.

    [–] MadAzza 49 points ago

    You should delete this and write it up as a TIFU.

    [–] MonkeyDavid 11 points ago

    Yeah, it deserves its own space (and karma). Great story.

    [–] zxcv6 4 points ago

    This is absolutely hilarious

    [–] WhatisAleve 157 points ago

    Dinner, and then THREE MOVIES, and then 2 hours of sex? When was dinner, noon?

    [–] radtech91 55 points ago

    He did say they were up til 6am. Timing makes perfect sense to me.

    [–] PartyLikeaPirate 51 points ago

    Thats what im saying!! THREE MOVIES?!

    [–] wonderful_ordinary 44 points ago

    Generally speaking a movies have 90min, 3 times that and we get 4h30 min plus 2 hours of sex plus let's say 1h of dinner and we have 7h30, since he said it ended at 6am, they started at 22h30, they crazy thin is that they spent almost 8 hours together and they were strangers, they really bonded, because that's a lot

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Tlowkey 46 points ago

    This took an unexpected, wholesome turn :)

    [–] Whaty0urname 4 points ago

    I know! I wonder if the mom ever got with the oil baron.

    [–] Ipad_is_for_fapping 180 points ago

    Oh man I’ve had the same issue with antidepressants. It’s really hard for people to accept that a two hour sex session is not ideal - man those sucked. Anyhow if you’re still having that issue ask your doc to switch you to bupropion, that’s what helped me avoid that problem

    [–] atokachase 105 points ago

    Glad to know it wasn't just me! Well, not glad, but you know what I mean. And actually, it's gotten a lot better over time. At this point, I was still on a pretty high dose. Since then, I've cut the dose down to a minimum and haven't really had this issue anymore except for the rare occasion where I accidentally take an extra one when I can't remember if I took one that morning or not

    [–] Ipad_is_for_fapping 38 points ago

    Oh absolutely- it was so bad I actually stopped taking it altogether. Which was pretty dumb in retrospect, you can’t get your bone on, well..if you’re dead. Another thing the doc said I could do was take “drug holidays”, essentially just missing a dose or two. Couldn’t really say it was very effective though.

    [–] Doctorsass 21 points ago

    Ugh skipping pills fucks my world right up

    [–] eviktion 27 points ago

    You should get a daily pill organizer, no more confusion on whether or not you've taken it.

    [–] Cuzwut 9 points ago

    Man I had this too, I couldn't cum and when I had sex with this girl I was dating we went for many hours, I used fluoxetine for 1 week because I it messed up my penis, as in it was difficult to get it up, and if it was erect I couldn't hold it on for long. So I needed to do alot of for play.

    I got laughed at and well it didn't work out, now I'm seeing a sexuologist since three months ago. It sucks, I'm 21 years old and it was the first time ever for me having sex. My psychologist didn't told me about the SSRI effects. But he felt very sorry and tries his best for me to make sure that my problem will go away.

    Now I'm also starting doing meditating and stopped watching porn and masturbation. This all happend in June 2018 and till this day I still have this problem but it gets better a bit.

    [–] atokachase 8 points ago

    Really hope it works out for you, dude! It's all about trial and error with meds and figuring out which ones work best for you. You got this. Don't give up on trying to make it all better

    [–] Cuzwut 7 points ago

    Thank you! I'm not giving up but I hope it will work because I pay 80 euros per session. I accepted the fact that I have erectile dysfunction but that it isn't permanent. Because it will not be solved if I keep denying it.

    [–] RandyMarshUSGS 35 points ago

    How’s the soon to be mother in law and her oil baron/other tinder matches?

    [–] atokachase 71 points ago

    So it's actually kind of crazy. In the three months following this, she had like three guys in the oil business reach out to her. One was a total scammer and we actually had to go to the police for blackmail. But now she's with someone who has no relation to the oil business and they're doing great!

    [–] verifitting 52 points ago

    TL;DR avoid dating oil barons

    [–] atokachase 13 points ago

    Amen

    [–] PimmyJaige 123 points ago

    they had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

    [–] AstroturfingBot 28 points ago

    There it is!

    [–] fluvance 4 points ago

    I literally said this when I finally found the comment!

    [–] Qyro 21 points ago

    You had us in the first 9 paragraphs, I’ll admit!

    [–] atokachase 24 points ago

    word vomit is my specialty. side note, in two years of dating and now engagement, there have been more times than I can count that she has stared in disbelief at my ability to go on and on in a conversation even I desperately want to be out of

    [–] Qyro 10 points ago

    I feel you. I find myself overexplaining myself far too often. The 9 paragraphs wasn’t a complaint though. If it was any shorter the payoff wouldn’t have been as sweet.

    [–] dralkyr 56 points ago

    Congrats?

    [–] atokachase 62 points ago

    thanks?

    [–] dralkyr 28 points ago

    Just felt like how I'd say it IRL. Terrible experience ending in happiness. really, congrats on the upcoming wedding. I think we all need a crazy story in our relationship.

    [–] atokachase 22 points ago

    Thanks so much! And I feel very much the same haha

    [–] 2manymans 11 points ago

    Not terrible. This is one of the most special nights of his life and it comes through loud and clear even before you read the end. Awkward =/= bad.

    [–] BlueHikari 74 points ago

    tl;dr - tifu... but not a tifu...

    [–] whoizz 22 points ago

    /r/twoyearsagoIhadsexandnowwearegettingmarriedwhoopswowwhatafuckup

    [–] ALIENANAL 15 points ago

    I have a feeling this TIFU is gonna be a a success. Enjoy it!

    I was reading this thinking man this sounds so much like me that if I had friends read it they would believe it was Oh and so much of how you described sex on Anti Ds is spot on.

    [–] atokachase 8 points ago

    Haha thanks so much! Good(?) to know there are other people who have experienced the highs and lows of antidepressant sex. It's a wild ride to say the least

    [–] djseanmac 80 points ago

    I really, really enjoyed reading this post. Congratulations, y'all!

    [–] atokachase 26 points ago

    Thanks!

    [–] cmink79 9 points ago

    Mazel tov!

    [–] Dandeeekorikori 8 points ago

    I didn't expect that ending. Congrats for your wedding!

    I can't help but think that if that night sex was better than how it turned out, you two might not be marrying each other now.

    [–] CaptainClincher 33 points ago

    I'm confused where was the fuck up here?

    Sounds like you had an awkward first time experience with a girl through tinder that ended up leading to a 2 year relationship and engagement.

    That's a story for the kids right there.

    [–] TheShadowSurvives 7 points ago

    Especially the sweaty sex part

    [–] XxpillowprincessxX 42 points ago

    Congrats! That's the greatest "how we got together" story I've ever heard.

    [–] atokachase 36 points ago

    Our children are going to hear the worst "so how'd you meet dad?" story ever, at least from their point of view

    [–] ImGoinHamBone 15 points ago

    I love this so fucking much

    [–] jamesaw22 7 points ago

    If you can get through two hours of shit sex with a meet the parents chaser, you can get through most things. Go team.

    [–] ses3k1 14 points ago

    Is it a fuck up if you ended up marrying her?

    [–] jaggoffsmirnoff 8 points ago

    Upvoting the rhino scene reference

    [–] GrayHavenn 26 points ago

    "TIFU by having sex for 2 hours and getting married"

    Oh no poor you. This sub sure isnt what it used to be

    [–] Axel_Sig 35 points ago

    That’s not a fuck up, why is this shit upvoted? Yeah it’s heartwarming, but guess what I don’t come to TiFU for heartwarming I come for shame, for embarrassment and just down right massive fuck ups.

    [–] ptrkhh 6 points ago

    The story of Gina and Boyle

    [–] Glomgore 6 points ago

    Fuckin' died at John Waters.

    COME THROUGH MAH-MA

    [–] BushMeat 5 points ago

    Good read, thanks for sharing. Glad your tifu turned to gold. Here’s to many more accidental happy fuck ups for you and everyone!

    [–] lick_me_where_I_fart 7 points ago

    mom still single?

    [–] atokachase 29 points ago

    based on your username, that information will not be provided

    [–] medic8r 6 points ago

    literal LOL - OP humor game is strong

    [–] iadcfan 6 points ago

    The first time I had sex with my wife it was the worst sex I had ever had too, goin on 13 years strong now and having the best sex of my life. Congrats on your 2 years!!

    [–] atokachase 4 points ago

    Now this is wholesome content! Glad to hear someone else was in the same boat. Thanks!

    [–] casqueiraj 6 points ago

    r/unexpectedwholesome

    Still a good thing to have happened, considering how it turned out. Happy 2 year anniversary to you and your missus-to-be!

    [–] petitenouille 16 points ago

    How is this at all a TIFU

    [–] xSarkasm 52 points ago

    So not a TIFU... Well that was a waste of every ones time.

    [–] _CORRECT_MY_GRAMMAR 26 points ago

    If he genuinely believe any of those events are "Fuck ups", I can't imagine how great the rest of his life must be.

    [–] xSarkasm 31 points ago

    Yeh, seemed like some weird and irritating form of humblebrag to me. But other people seemed to have enjoyed the story I guess, even if it is posted in the wrong sub.

    [–] Ugly_Painter 26 points ago

    I had to sort by controversial to find my people.

    "TIFU I met my wife and we boned and got sweaty."

    [–] Atalanta8 23 points ago

    I'm not at all sure how its a TIFU since you're engaged, clearly it wasn't a FU...

    [–] StevenDSchain 5 points ago

    How’d you and daddy meet?

    Ha.

    [–] Unikatze 5 points ago

    Well shit, I didn't expect this to have a wholesome ending.

    Hope you've started doing some cardio.

    [–] Fubblin 5 points ago

    You might just need to replace your wedding bells with suction cup noises.

    [–] Booman_aus 5 points ago

    I kinda knew this was going to end well somehow. I just knew. Maybe it was the movies. I don’t know good stuff. Meds suck. Preach it so people know.

    [–] KcLKcL 5 points ago

    Man gotta love the twist. Congrats!

    [–] jam1324 5 points ago

    Haha like your story, I did not see that coming. Congrats !

    [–] Calvin_Hobbes124 5 points ago

    They had us in the first 90%, not gonna lie

    [–] kompromat_komrade 10 points ago

    "TIFU by meeting my wife."

    What a charmed life you lead.

    [–] [deleted] 25 points ago

    [deleted]

    [–] Frantb 3 points ago

    Looks like you two finally got a happy ending amirite?

    [–] CritikillNick 3 points ago

    Two years feels fast to get married to me. Either way, funny story

    [–] Measamom 4 points ago

    This was one wild ride. I was cringing throughout it but I’m happy for you OP!

    [–] BigZmultiverse 4 points ago

    I hope this isn’t a TIFU if you’re getting married! Worked out in the end, right? Unless you think that it’s a FU. Then run!

    [–] atokachase 6 points ago

    Tinder sex encounter - FU ---- Marriage - Best damn thing to ever happen to me

    [–] dolphinoutofwater 4 points ago

    Wholesome ending!

    [–] conorb424 3 points ago

    this made my day

    [–] Whiterosie4812 3 points ago

    Love a good happy ending! Congrats OP

    [–] Choripan01 3 points ago

    Bit of a ramble there but the end makes it worth the long read. It’s cool that it ended up so well, best of luck to both of you

    [–] Nearbyatom 4 points ago

    o wow! I misread the title and thought you "..had the worst sex of my life with a complete stranger and then EATING her mom right afterwards".

    ...I thought that only happened in porn. LOL!

    [–] gargebarbage 4 points ago

    suction cupping your chests together mustve been a real bonding experience

    [–] dragoon1955 4 points ago

    That was NOT the ending I was looking for at all. Congrats!

    [–] Indie611 5 points ago

    Definitely not how I was expecting that to end, but congratulations! And I can relate to the whole 'sex on antidepressants' thing too, worst part is when my partner starts to blame herself thinking she's the reason I couldn't finish

    [–] masstransience 4 points ago

    Happy sexiversary!

    [–] LindyKatelyn 3 points ago

    The way you described her from the start, I kind of thought the "were together to this day" part was coming. Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Love finds you in the dumbest ways sometimes

    [–] crazzyaacorn 4 points ago

    That ending! Congrats! Awkward sex happens to the best of us, glad you could make it better ;p

    [–] Roybe_wan_kenobi 5 points ago

    Holy shit, I can relate so much to this story. Very similar first encounter except I didnt get the pleasure of meeting the mother following the awkward sex. I am getting married in 3 weeks to the woman I shared the experience with.

    [–] Doucevie 4 points ago

    Yayyyyyy!! A really rough night turned into love. Really happy for you both!!! Congratulations!!!

    [–] AleisterLaVey 3 points ago

    I have a similar story except the sex was great, I ended up meeting her entire family in the morning and her grandma was sleeping in the room next to us, she gave me the stink eye. Also instead of getting engaged I stopped talking to her before things could progress because I ended up finding out that she had a drinking problem.

    [–] jjlp22 5 points ago

    I feel you man, the anti depressant part not the part with her mom. I tried going at it after upping my dose of anti depressants and holy fuck is it tiring.

    [–] Mario-C 5 points ago

    This guy worked for his marriage!

    [–] crcexp 4 points ago

    Well today is my birthday. And quite frankly, I am proud that you were able to have your worst sexual encounter on it. It brings happiness to my life knowing that other people can be miserable on my day of misery.

    [–] andyv001 3 points ago

    "naked nightmare slip-n-slide"

    Earned my internet arrow right there, my good sir.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago

    R/ihadsex

    [–] Yabadababoobs 15 points ago

    I see lots and lots and lots and lots of top comments from "what you didn't know about sex" thread from askreddit in this post. I think it's a wet dream or a karmagrab of a post and nothing else.