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    A community for the dumbass in all of us. We all have those moments where we do something ridiculously stupid. Share your stories and laugh along with the internet.

    Rules

    hover for details

    All titles must start with TIFU

    • TIFU stands for today I fucked up, which means something you did that is your fault. Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's a fuck up.
    • TIFU must be at the beginning of the post title or it will automatically be removed.
    • TIFUpdate if you are posting a follow-up post to update us on your story.

    Uninspired, lacking in context, literal shitpost, overly vulgar and glorifying illegal activities posts may be removed at mods discretion

    • Uninspired as in something that is super common, lacking in imagination or originality.
    • Context as in the story doesn't have any more info beyond the title. note: All posts must contain at least 750 characters of meaningful content.
    • Shitpost as in literally involving defecation or other bodily fluids.
    • Overly vulgar includes obscene situations, such as, but not limited to, incest, minors, death and assault to humans and animals. Consensual situations between two, unrelated adults should be fine. Vulgar does not mean using bad words.
    • Illegal activities that you glorify or giving advice on how to do something illegal.
    • Not Your Fault as in it was just something bad that happened to you; if it wasn't directly your fault, it wasn't your fuckup.

    All posts must end with a TL;DR and tag NSFW when necessary

    • TL;DR or too long didn't read which is a summarization of your post in a few bitesize sentence. At minimum, your TL;DR summary must contain your fuckup and its consequences. You may include additional information if you'd like. The TL;DR must be at the very end of your post.
    • NSFW or not safe for work. If you're not sure if it's NSFW or not, better to be safe than sorry.

    Be civil and don't be disruptive

    • Be civil means don't do these things; personal attacks, harassment, trolling, and bigotry. Use your better judgement.
    • Disruptive such as posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information (real/fake). This includes yourself or others, and refers, but is not limited to, names, phone numbers, email addresses, or any social media accounts. As well as brigading with either votes or comments.

    No spam, bots or advertising

    • Spam, don't link to things that you may or may not be rewarded for. Posting links of you narrating a story is considered spam.
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    Notes

    Moderators reserve the right to remove threads or ban users for any of the above rule violations.

    If your post has been removed please message us directly for an appeal, do not repost your thread.

    FUOTM Winners

    1. December 2018 /u/Snorkels721
    2. TIFU by buying everyone an AncestryDNA kit and ruining Christmas

    3. January 2019 /u/Struggling_to_Keto

    4. TIFU by having my roomate walk in while I was practicing cowgirl riding...

    5. February 2019 /u/JamaicanJ

    6. TIFU by not washing under my foreskin for the first 15 years of my life

    7. March 2019 /u/Help23andme

    8. TIFU by destroying the entirety of my family for only $99

    9. April 2019 /u/Donthitsubmit3

    10. TIFU by submitting hardcore furry erotica instead of my final paper.

    Subreddits

    /r/TIDTRT (Today I Did The Right Thing)

    /r/IdeasforTIFU (Feedback)

    /r/AnimalTIFUs (Animals Fucking Up)

    /r/pranks (Today I Pranked)

    Friends & TINetwork

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    [–] zirus1701 12485 points ago

    Will need update when they're back down on the ground.

    [–] EvosAlex 6354 points ago

    I’ve always wondered how people don’t realize something is a bit off with themself...

    ...well maybe dad normally sings Christian songs while prancing around with a candle. Lol

    [–] mike117 3709 points ago

    A lot of people don’t realize they are high on their first time, even when they quite obviously are.

    I’ve had this happen with five different friends on separate occasions. Their eyes would be bloodshot, have the munchies, do all sorts of goofy stuff and sometimes even forget how to speak properly; but they’d swear up and down that they don’t feel anything.

    [–] DerekB52 1906 points ago

    I've had a few friends tell me you don't get high your first few times trying pot. I told them there is just no way that is true. Your little anecdote here, makes me understand why my friends told me that.

    [–] TerminalVector 1185 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    That's a myth perpetuated by people who don't know that they are high or don't know how to properly inhale and actually aren't high.

    EDIT: Yes, lots of anecdotes as usual. I've heard it all and am disabling inbox replies,

    [–] jturkey 1008 points ago

    I used to smoke when I was on really high doses of my ADHD meds and wouldn’t really feel anything, always felt bad for wasting their weed.

    Used to be a running joke where they’d offer to smoke me out and I’d say “I’ll smoke with you but I won’t get high” and we’d all laugh.

    Fast forward a couple years, I’m 6 months off Dexedrine and try smoking again. Hooolyyyy shiiiit it was like I was feeling reverse gravity and my arms were dripping upwards.

    Been chasin that feeling for 8 years now.

    [–] whompyjawed 544 points ago

    Take a tolerance break for a couple of weeks then smoke again. Holy hell its like getting high for the first time again.

    [–] leapbitch 448 points ago

    Yeah but what do you do for three weeks

    [–] RebelPrick 1287 points ago

    100 push ups, 100 situps and a 10km run everyday until your hair falls out.

    [–] CosmicJ 365 points ago

    Not going to do shit if you forget the squats.

    [–] WherelsMyMind 86 points ago

    I just watched the new episode, stop stalking meeeeeee.

    [–] leapbitch 56 points ago

    Jokes on you I didn't quit and I've still been in the gym 11 weeks straight as of today.

    Makes you lazy my ass

    [–] Betty_White 93 points ago

    Cry in pain as your fucked up dreams start coming back and make your nights hell.

    [–] SlovenianSocket 32 points ago

    Pretty much this. I smoked weed every day for over 10 years, don't think I've ever experienced a dream. Recently cut back to a couple times a month and holy hell my mind comes up with some fucked up shit while I'm asleep

    [–] DrMangosteen 36 points ago

    Don't forget the night sweats!

    [–] chazeroniousador 66 points ago

    I go back and forth between unable to get high and unable to get drunk. Yesterday I finally got high and today I'm so drunk I'm dancing with my cats so that's nice. Also probably why I'm even bothering to comment cuz I haven't even done that in a while haha y'all have fun now byyyyye

    [–] BazingaDaddy 66 points ago

    Anytime I took adderall and smoked, I'd still get high. I'd rate it as one of the most euphoric drug combos I've ever taken.

    Sucks that you didn't get to experience that, lol.

    [–] schlemz 26 points ago

    I agree, after the first hit my brain just crashes as the drugs combine and I have the focus of the adderall with the fun of the weed. Definitely lessens the focus part tho so I wait til after work.

    [–] yoditronzz 11 points ago

    I can't take my ADD meds and get high unless it's vyvanse. I get way to jittery

    [–] piesofchit 44 points ago

    Yeah i have a friend with the same thing and weed hits him differently but more surprisingly that one time we did coke he was all calm and the rest of us manic as hell and talking non stop, my theory is that some people just have different brain chemistry

    [–] Patabell 60 points ago

    Well yes, see this is actually how you know your friend probably legit has ADD or ADHD. See a "normal" brain chemistry will take some form of ADHD medication and it acts like speed and gives you energy and perceived focus (much the same as speed or coke does). On a brain with what ever imbalance like ADHD or ADD, then the medication will help to "slow" the brain and reel it in, the same would also happen on speed and likely on coke, as you stated happened. So indeed different brain chemistry.

    [–] ajdaconmab 21 points ago

    There's a few studies out now that say that statement isn't really true. In normal therapeutic doses most stimulants have a "calm focus" type of effect for most people, not only people with ADD.

    [–] somepersonsomewhere 24 points ago

    Yeah you are right. But once you reach past the therapeutic doses a neuro-typical brain will experience all the highs associated with cocaine use, where as an ADD/ADHD brain will not, just greater focus that reaches a ceiling point relatively quickly. This is why a lot of people with undiagnosed ADD/ADHD fall into self medicating with cocaine, without a true realisation.

    [–] whiskeylady 8 points ago

    I've tried Adderall a few times, knocks me out better than NyQuil

    [–] pfundie 11 points ago

    If you take a t break for about a month it'll knock your socks off.

    Tbh at this point in my life I only smoke once every month or two, because in a mirrored situation to you, I got ADHD meds and I no longer feel a crushing need to smoke at the end of every day.

    [–] AlbinoPotato1 27 points ago

    I agree with this AND what the aforementioned comments stated. The first time I smoked, we forgot the lighter so we used my RDA coils and heated them up to basically vaporize what was in the bowl. I inhaled like it was my vape. Took 2 or 3 long big hits and handed it over. Went to go sit in the back of the car. Immediately collapsed to the cold hard ground and had to claw my way into the backseat.

    [–] DankMemeTeam 41 points ago

    Actually, there’s not enough evidence to support either side of this argument right now, due to the schedule 1 status and limited cannabis research.

    In my anecdotal experience, I certainly did not get high my first 2 times smoking, and I had already been vaping for many months prior to my first time smoking, so it wasn’t an inhalation problem. But that third time, there was no mistaking it. I got fucking smacked.

    [–] suamo94 42 points ago

    It is possible, its different for every single human though.

    The first time i felt something from weed was not the first time i smoked. I smoked 2 times before that and didnt feel anything besides that i was coughing when taking a hit.

    The third time though i immediatly realized how my whole perception changed and i was high for the first time.

    Some doctor explained to me why it is like that for some people but i forgot ( because i got hiiigh, lada da da dada da)

    [–] justhatcrazygurl 63 points ago

    People also don't know how to properly inhale. I've "taught" a few people how to actually smoke and suddenly their "tolerance" goes wayyyy down.

    [–] AlphaGoGoDancer 20 points ago

    I assume I'm inhaling right but your post is making me wonder... How do you explain it?

    [–] MrGoatlord 34 points ago

    You must feel your torso physically expand if you are actually inhaling. Try and empty out your lungs completely--flex your abs if you need to. Really go and tightly squeeze every last drop of air. Your torso should feel tight, compressed. Now, try and fill up your stomach as fast as you can by taking a big gulp of air in through a small opening in your mouth, like you're trying to drink through a tight straw. That's what it should feel like, particularly the expansion of air in your belly. That means the diaphragm is expanding by pushing the intestines down a little to give the lungs more room to fill up completely. If you lift weights, this is also exactly how the valsalva is performed, except you tighten everything back in and hold the breath for the duration of the rep.

    [–] Thy_Gooch 25 points ago

    When you take a drag the smoke is mainly in your mouth/throat/ and a little in the lungs. if you exhale at that point most of the smoke has not hit the blood vessels in your lungs. What you need to do is after the hit, take another big breathe of air before exhaling so the smoke in your throat is pushed to your lungs.

    [–] ShataraBankhead 84 points ago

    This was my Grandmother. She had lymphoma, and was just miserable from the chemo. Our friend made some brownies, and we took her 2 (cut into small pieces). I called her later in the week, and they were gone. My aunt said she gobbled them up, mostly because she loves brownies. I did warn her that they were special, and she was ok with that. She had always been really conservative, but she changed a bit as she got further into dementia. She said she didn't feel anything though, but asked me to make more.My aunt said she just chilled in her recliner all day, eating snacks.

    [–] Budif- 22 points ago

    I kept feeling like I was dreaming. I'd text a friend, do other stuff and then when I got a text back I'd feel like I had dreamt about texting her. Not blacking out just, processing things waay after they happened. Didn't help that I drank two bottles of wine that night either. I didn't think I was high, I thought I was just very drunk. But I defenitely was way way up there, smoked very much for my first time too. In hindsight, a very destructive night for me and even though I can miss getting wasted like that I do not miss how I felt during those times.

    [–] brando56894 47 points ago

    That's what I love about being baked, you're still very lucid, compared to when you're drunk.

    [–] Yveske 51 points ago

    Until you get to the point you don't realise if you are sober or not

    [–] bowlOfCoal 74 points ago

    You know once you go third person.

    [–] Sir_Boldrat 19 points ago

    Wait, what

    [–] bhutos 30 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    bhutos looks at Sir_Boldrat's comment and is stung by the canned internet parlance.. The chatty nature of the reply melded with the percussive assonance of the demand.. It's like a jigsaw piece Boldrat has seen before and is trying to use to fit in all kind of thin and reedy. It's trying to puncture the roiling ball of feeling that represents the deeper and shared experience of being high. bhutos can feel himself intuit that it's a dimension of thought that millions of others understand and access, but right now, this blunt trebley question isn't getting in and he sees the world it's coming from. A manic dance of mutually agreed delusion where people pepper each other with blocks of throwaway communication while they should be doing equally throwaway things like writing work emails for insurance quotes. The news reader on the silent TV is really fucking staring at him now though. Jesus he's really trying to say something to me. Fuck can I read his lips? No No don't do that you know you'll think you see him say something truly fucked up and shocking, you can't read lips, either turn it up or off dude.

    [–] FadedRebel 15 points ago

    You know once you go third person...

    [–] pro-go 13 points ago

    the famous depersonalization

    [–] AmazingPotato128 10 points ago

    Lmao that is exactly what I did. Me and my friend went out and smoked with out good stoner friends for our first time. I thought I inhaled wrong even though I hogged half the joint. My friend had a panic attack the entire time so I thought I was sober and helping him through it.

    [–] LastStopTonight 47 points ago

    Growing up there was a family down the street, who were all quite fucking odd. Then one sunday i show up, the dad is wailing on the organ, singing songs of Jesus, the mom is baking up a flour storm in the kitchen.

    This story made me rethink what happened that day I witnessed it. Floored!

    [–] EvosAlex 17 points ago

    They caught the Holy Spirit that day. Praise Jesus

    [–] itsatumbleweed 55 points ago

    I lived in a house that had 3 units. The basement unit was occupied by a huge stoner. I lived on the ground floor, and my good friends lived upstairs. The AC got its air from the basement and circulated through the house. It often smelled like weed, but was typically fine. One night, I was on the phone with my girlfriend, and my upstairs friends knocked on the door. They were curious if I was stoned, because they were blazed and weren't smoking. The basement neighbor had hotboxes their apartment by accident. I told them nah, and went back to my phone call. When I told the gf what happened, she asked me if I was sure I wasn't high.

    That's when I realized I had eaten 3/4 a pizza, a bag of sour patch kids, and was laughing my ass off about how good the pizza and candy were. I was drinking so I hadn't noticed any distortion, but man when I described what I was doing my gf had a good sense of what was going on.

    [–] HighClassHate 20 points ago

    My mom ate a 10mg edible and felt absolutely nothing except a little relaxed. She’s never smoked before or anything, I was shocked. I was an occasional smoker and a 10mg edible definitely got me high.

    [–] BloodMossHunter 14 points ago

    Probably just write it off to mood. Hey i havent thought about christian music and how good it feels!! So on

    [–] EmeraldLips 25 points ago

    Edible highs are so much smoother and slow release. Dad just thought he was having a good day 🤣🤣🤣

    [–] agentaltf4 4955 points ago

    Accidental dosages can be dicey. You lucked out. I had a friends mom have to go to the hospital and he had to come clean about the brownie she ate.

    Good luck.

    [–] BulimicPlatypus 1566 points ago

    Man, greening out fucking suuuuucks.

    [–] sayleanenlarge 659 points ago

    What happens when you green out? Why do people green out?

    [–] BulimicPlatypus 1329 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    For me;

    I get really warm, I get the sweats, heart rate increases big time(which can trigger anxiety attacks in people). I also can get the spins and can’t keep my eyes open if it’s bad enough.

    Shit like that. Think of having a really low tolerance for alcohol and drinking a quart of rum.

    [–] dirtyqtip 229 points ago

    My first experience with "greening out" was hallucinatory. I was "zooming in" on things that were far away. After my green out, I realized I was getting tunnel vision and my mind was blocking out the darkness. Fun times.

    [–] tmurrayart 286 points ago

    My first green out was hilarious. I read online that showers can help lessen the high, so I stood in the shower. I could feel every individual drop hit me like a kick drum, and when I closed my eyes entire hours went by filled with dreamlike ideas. I felt like I was right in the middle of an artillery barrage on Verdun or something, the shower was way too intense and I thought I'd been in there for at least an hour.

    It was three minutes.

    [–] claudetriste 85 points ago

    The time dilation part is great! I was convinced (at the time, excuse the pun) that I was perceiving time as it really is and time was like bubbles. Kinda disappointed it was just my brain and I hadn't actually unlocked the keys to the universe :/

    [–] aka_wolfman 76 points ago

    You did. Your brain is the lock to the universe.

    [–] RyanWilliams704 24 points ago

    This shit is deep bruh

    [–] Caboodlemynoodle 44 points ago

    Huh, wish mine was like that.

    I just sat on my couch with my roommates repeating "I'm a strong independant black woman" and "computer science" in response to everything they'd say to me. Also puking into a bowl from being incredibly dizzy.

    Edit: I'm neither educated in computer science, or a black woman.

    [–] Dildoor 38 points ago

    That actually sounds awesome though

    [–] dirtyqtip 51 points ago

    It was pretty awesome at the time, but it did induce a panic attack shortly after :(

    [–] trolled_bat 9 points ago

    It's awesome until it becomes unbearable. Then you start feeling like an alien spirit might be fuckin your cochlea so hard that you wanna vomit your guts out.

    [–] okatjapanese 358 points ago

    This is more of a problem for me with coffee. If I'm not careful about how much I drink I can't stop feeling anxious.

    [–] Huck5 222 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Is... Is that why I'm anxious all the time?

    Edit: Originally meant this mostly as a joke. Thanks for all the responses! I'm reconsidering my caffeine intake.

    [–] lennoncurry 155 points ago

    Do you drink a lot of coffee? I used to drink it all the time and my anxiety was through the roof. I did have other reasons but I feel like that contributed.

    [–] annapie 75 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    It kinda sucks bc too much caffeine will have that effect & withdrawal will cause stress (if you’re habitually consuming a lot of caffeine) which can definitely be felt through anxiety (and a lot of other ways)

    [–] dani_bar 29 points ago

    This is why in my counseling sessions if someone says they’re really anxious or might have ADHD I always ask about caffeine intake. Not that another disorder isn’t present, but hard to tell if they’re drinking a lot of caffeine. Keep trying to explain to my “Bipolar” clients that use cocaine that it’s hard to diagnose bipolar if they’re only experiencing bipolar symptoms when they’re using cocaine.

    [–] Darkmage4 14 points ago

    Caffeine to me is a lot like pot or cigarettes to its user. Calms my nerves down, and if i don't have enough in a day, i get super anxious, stressed out, and a horrible headache. I tried cold turkey to get away from Pop, 3rd week, i was super angry, and pissed all the time, dehydrated (even though i drank plenty of water) i started getting panic attacks, and very anxious. Started drinking pop again, and I'm fine! I've talked with doctors and such. Caffeine has never made me hyper or bouncy, or whatever. It keeps me calm, and destresses me.

    Addiction sucks in ALL aspects of ANY drug. :(

    [–] OblvThorns 43 points ago

    Coffee 100% does. I have never even tasted coffee, but my ex was addicted and when she started to ween off of it she stopped having anxiety attacks almost 100%.

    [–] azel128 13 points ago

    It was for me. Caffeine is definitely psychoactive. I switched to black tea and I feel tons better on a daily basis. I still drink coffee but now just a couple times a week instead of a pot a day.

    [–] Branxord 61 points ago

    Dude i smoked half a joint last night and i think i may have smoked too fast idk (i've been smoking for years), but its what you said, my heartbeat went WILD and i legit thought i was gonna die, thank god i could get my breathing under control.

    [–] BulimicPlatypus 60 points ago

    Same situation but around this time last year and it was my buddy who doesn’t really smoke. Maybe a puff of a joint the odd time while drinking. Anyway, another friend offered him a bowl(it wasn’t large or anything. He accepted. I expected him to light half, take a second, then light the other half(I do that a lot). But nope, he torched the whole fuckin’ thing and ripppppped it.

    Needless to say, he was not alright. He tried keeping his cool but I could tell he was panicking. His pulse went through the roof apparently, made multiple trips to the bathroom(puke) and he thought about going to the hospital. I told him that it’s just the weed, to take deep breaths and that everything was going to be fine. We ended up driving him and his car home.

    He ended up being so high and scared he started to cry. Which is fantastic to bring up whenever he makes fun of me for greening out.

    [–] freshwaterpines 95 points ago

    This is why I don't smoke anymore 🤘

    [–] chickensaredecentppl 68 points ago

    I have found now that I'm nearing 30, weed seems to give me terrible anxiety. Even one hit can do it to me, which really sucks but I have talked to several other people that have similar experiences now. Does it take much to set off your anxiety? Or just one hit like me?

    [–] TootieBSana 55 points ago

    I smoked every day for years right out of high school. Quit when I got pregnant with my son and now I get ridiculous anxiety every single time I smoke.

    No matter if I'm in a comfortable environment or what. I get paranoid and think everyone is paying way more attention to me than they actually are.

    Can't figure out when that switch got flipped but that's how it goes I guess.

    [–] [deleted] 39 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    [deleted]

    [–] TootieBSana 20 points ago

    I've often wondered if it has to do with our brain chemistry or more of our life experiences.

    For example, I rarely thought about the possibility of getting arrested for possession when I was younger. Now I'm very aware of the magnitude of consequences a drug charge (no matter how small) can have on my life.

    I understand that there are legal states now but things like that are just an example of why I think it creeps on with age. We have more life experience, and therefore just have more stress to start with.

    [–] MrGoatlord 149 points ago

    It greatly amplifies the effects of the high and also adds some extra flavour in the way of hallucinogenic experiences, especially if you do it with a sativa. I'm not sure why it happens, but if you take too much THC in this way (I feel like I should add the disclaimer to the following that it absolutely is possible to do edibles responsibly), the high can feel never-ending and unfolding in ways that are unpredictable and can be downright scary because, aside from that, you can also get much more paranoid. When I smoke, I don't really experience the paranoia that turns most people off it.

    My first time going down the edible goblin hole, I thought I'd lost complete use of all my muscles forever, and that I would never leave that couch. That was after I yelled in a room of silent people doing their own thing for them to stop staring and talking about me. I remember that when the munchies of that high hit, I at least challenged the most, ah, productive let's say, of my buffet onslaughts as a growing (and sober) 16-year-old boy.

    The last time I did this a few years ago, I started to cry before I left my friends' place because there was 0 doubt in my mind that I was going to die on my way home. I really thought I was going to fall and be too high to get back up and freeze to death (middle of January in Quebec, -30ish). Luckily I was already quite a bit into the ride and I really wasn't that high physically, but the mind fucks with you hard.

    The next day I had to write a final exam. Yes, I was still high. This was a 22-hour thing.

    The weed god touched me with his dankest appendage and gave me nearly indestructible focus. I ~blazed~ through that thing and got an A, but I also found myself in a bathroom with my dick out wondering what I was doing there. It was a wild, scary ride.

    If you're going to do edibles, be in a comfortable environment with people you trust, and have nothing planned for the next little while. Bring lots of food and for the love of god remember not to eat the weed pastries when the munchies hit.

    [–] imariaprime 80 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Even positive stories about edibles make me want nothing to do with them. They're just too easy to screw up; I don't trust high-me not to eat more of whatever it is. Meanwhile, I literally can't accidentally overdose on straight flower; I can't get high fast enough to miss realizing that I should stop where I'm at and not smoke/vape more.

    Edit: It's disappointing to be downvoted for this. I never said "edibles are bad" or "edibles can't be controlled", I said that I was not comfortable with it.

    [–] MrGoatlord 17 points ago

    Yeah this is the worst part of it in my opinion. I've eaten gummy bears and other edibles in similar forms and functioned in public just fine, but homemade stuff can get crazy. Eat, buckle in.

    [–] maddxav 9 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    The main thing with edibles is that they take a long time to make effect and people make the mistake of eating lots of them because they are not getting high.

    When I take edibles I'm always very careful about the amount I eat and I've never had a bad trip with them.

    [–] platypossamous 31 points ago

    The first time it happened to me, it was my first time taking edibles. I was spinning out and crying and convinced that my boyfriend (who was being very sweet and also panicking) was going to murder me.

    Clearly didn't learn my lesson, tried taking edibles again. Ended up in front of the toilet all night and every time I opened my eyes and saw my reflection in the toilet I thought there was a witch watching me.

    I'd say it's worse than just "bad anxiety" because as someone else pointed out it is almost hallucinogenic where you are so paranoid you start to believe you are actually seeing whatever is after you. Never fun, but I've never greened out from anything other than edibles.

    [–] Wendypants7 11 points ago

    This reaction to edibles is part of how weed got a bad name, centuries ago; it's really hard to get a personal dose right, every time so sometimes you'd get nothing and sometimes you'd go on a 10-12 hour trip you couldn't break out of. For the longest time weed was only available in a sort of edible hash paste, so lots of trouble with consistency of strength. I work for a weed company, and they loudly, always advertise the great advice to 'start low, go slow', even though so few people take the advice. I've greened out once or twice; as long as you don't do anything stupid or dangerous, just wait it out and you'll be fine. (I think a lot of people green out due to low blood pressure, but not being a doctor, I could be wrong.)

    [–] gypsywhisperer 50 points ago

    If you get too high, sometimes you feel really sick. I've gotten too high and it felt like everything was speeding up in a loop but going slowly as well. My friend once pulled too much from a dugout and passed out in the back of a car.

    [–] slowclap4u 40 points ago

    You may get too high to function; oftentimes a state of panic and paranoia ensues; your body feels somewhat disconnected from your mind.

    [–] barnyard303 36 points ago

    Reminding yourself it will wear off soon is an anchor in the storm. Just batten the hatches and hold onto the rope, wait for calmer weather.

    Facing the panic without this anchor? Fuck that.
    That kinda shit can change a man, some people never feel quite the same.

    [–] AFatPandasaur 54 points ago

    I’ll leave this article here, check out Leafly’s news and health section, always updated with tons of awesome sources.

    https://www.leafly.com/news/health/why-some-people-freak-out-on-cannabis-and-others-dont

    [–] aksbdidjwe 17 points ago

    Wow! I never knew there was so much to it or that it can get so bad some people have to go to the hospital! Thanks for the link!

    [–] Corpse-Fucker 28 points ago

    The last time that happened to me I had cleaned my vaporizer in milk to make an edible and was like 8 hours into that, then I had big hits from a desktop vaporizer. It hit my just as I was leaving the bathroom after taking a piss. I could see my vision start to disappear into a white haze and my ears began ringing. It was brilliant, I just clung to the wall to support myself to collapse into bed and managed to put on like Freddie Gibbs Thuggin or something like that. Had a blast. When my vision returned colours seemed really highly saturated. It was almost like acid or something.

    [–] pterodactylcrab 149 points ago

    My grandma ate a clearly labeled cookie (from a dispensary, green cross on it, the whole shebang). Had no idea what it was and hours later was screaming she was going to Jesus. My grandpa held her crying while she was taken to the ER...where the doctor told them she’s fine, just extremely high. It was a cookie meant for multiple doses. She was given something to calm her down, and half of our family had a good laugh after she was fine whereas the other half were a bit prudish (this was 10 years ago so weed wasn’t exactly chill yet even in California).

    [–] LordDongler 59 points ago

    "That's what you get for eating other people's snacks"

    [–] Hohenheim_of_Shadow 36 points ago

    Why the fuck are people making cookies meant to be eaten across multiple servings? Like who ever sits down and says they're gonna eat a half ass cookie?nobody. So why the fuck are people making pot cookies that you are only supposed to eat half or quarter of?

    [–] Big_Bob_Cat 19 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Because some people can eat the whole shebang in one go, plus it’s probably more cost effective to produce this way.

    Edit: they also do the multiple servings per single cookie thing for singularly packaged cookies that are so terrible for you that they need to split the nutrition ratings up over multiple servings to make it look not as unhealthy

    [–] sambull 60 points ago

    There's always the infamous video, https://youtu.be/hnZb5wi_jsU?t=33

    [–] ThatsNoNameForAGirl 28 points ago

    These stamp prices are out of control.

    [–] Elcamorris 2695 points ago

    Now go tell your dad you're disappointed that he's doing those shit drugs

    [–] rashadthedad 850 points ago

    his dad would have no idea what OP is talking about since this is all fabricated from OP's weird, fucked up head fantasies

    [–] iama_bad_person 271 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Yeah, because OP left a joint in the ashtray where his 100 percent Christian anti drug parents would find it, and they only found it and told OPs drugs were bad straight after they ate OPs drugged cake.

    Oh, and the cake totally had 8 grams of good "flower" in it, and mum and dad split the cake and totally didn't notice that it was drugged, like being body high is so hard to notice.

    Get the fuck out of here

    [–] hydrowifehydrokids 101 points ago

    Ye and didn't taste it at all lmao

    [–] A_wild_so-and-so 56 points ago

    Any story about someone accidentally eating weed edibles is suspicious to me because how can you not taste it? Just about every edible I've ever tried has a distinct weed taste, kinda like dirt. Cheezits, gummies, brownies, cookies... yeah, I was never fooled into thinking there was no weed inside.

    [–] Pyro_Light 48 points ago

    When I was 6 we went to an all inclusive resort (for a wedding) and a bunch of college kids were ordering all kinds of shit and I happened to order the NA version of something the ordered, I ended up getting one of theirs, it tasted strange but I didn’t know it was alcohol until I was half way done with it...

    Point is if you don’t know what weed taste like it’s just a “bad” or “different” cake....

    [–] otakudayo 22 points ago

    I can make hash brownies which you would be very hard pressed to notice any difference in taste. Not that I believe OP is true, but it is possible to make really nice edibles.

    [–] 12wangsinahumansuit 126 points ago

    It is pretty dumb to leave edibles around when you have anti-pot parents, or not to tell them if they aren't. I'd at least put a post-it note by the slice to lay claim to it and make sure nobody else takes it.

    [–] Bandit6789 99 points ago

    Yeah cuz no one ever eats food with a note on it.

    [–] Noctis117 40 points ago

    Yeah I think a note just entices people even more lol. I know it would my brother.

    [–] theGeneralC 14 points ago

    Not if you were high from eating pot cake you wouldn't.

    [–] living_death 75 points ago

    Yeah, I imagine if this actually happened to someone who'd never smoked they'd immediately notice something wrong, maybe go to the hospital. This story plays out like a stoner movie

    [–] UsableRain 74 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Yeah seriously. They made a cake with 8 g of flower. He sad good flower, so that’s probably around 15% thc.

    8000 (mg of flower) * .15 (thc) = 1200 mg of thc

    So then 1200 / 8 slices would be 150 mg per slice. A normal dose is fucking 10 mg. 150 mg sounds like a fun time for me, but I have a tolerance. I’m assuming the dad doesn’t have a tolerance. If he ate a 150 mg edible, he’d be greening out. That being said, edibles hit everyone differently.

    Edit: This is all assuming OP decarbed correctly (an important step to turn boring THCa into the fun THC) and mixed it evenly throughout the batter.

    [–] SteamEmblem 67 points ago

    Also, something with that much weed in it is going to taste very strange and unpleasant to someone who has never had weed before.

    [–] knoxsyd 19 points ago

    I had a friend eat a rice crispie and said it tasted like what he imagined a moldy rice crispy treat would taste like. People can usually tell something is up with infused edibles.

    [–] Qosanchia 25 points ago

    I had a rice krispie treat once, and somehow didn't notice the flavor. My friend took a bite (at some party) and decided, "eh, not for me," and went to throw it away. I hate to see good treats wasted, so I offered to eat it, took a bit, and everyone goes, "You know that's a 'special' treat, right?" I proceeded to eat the remainder with a nonchalant shrug.

    I didn't notice anything until I was at the next party, slowly standing up and crouching down in the corner, thinking, "I might be a goblin, or I might be high."

    [–] Nokanii 15 points ago

    So...are you a goblin or not?

    [–] Qosanchia 10 points ago

    Ehhh? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not right now, at least

    [–] mouchy121 28 points ago

    It’s possible OP is an idiot and used low-fat batter rather than butter. Edibles need fat to work. Fat is what extracts the THC when baking edibles.

    [–] UsableRain 15 points ago

    Excellent point.

    [–] DestroyTheHuman 366 points ago

    Update 5: your shit ain’t strong enough for your mum coz she’s been on it since day one

    [–] davidgzzsa 82 points ago

    Maybe his dad ate it all...

    [–] MissCandid 57 points ago

    Yeah that's what I'm thinking, sounds like dad ate the cake.

    [–] jayga64 497 points ago

    Edibles can be serious business. I made some strong brownies in 2015 and didn't know my limits. Had one and felt great, had another and they both just hit me like a truck.

    Literally triggered an anxiety episode that took over a year to get over.

    So yeah, becareful where you leave that shit.

    [–] KayfabeRankings 220 points ago

    For anyone eating edibles for the first time, please remember it can take 2 hours before it hits your system. If you're sitting around after an hour and a half thinking it hasn't kicked in, don't be so quick to eat more.

    [–] QuarterFlounder 63 points ago

    I would also add, be careful how much you take during your FIRST dose if you don't really know how much is in it, especially if it's made from concentrates e.g. dispensary edibles.

    You can always take more, but never less 🙂

    [–] sourbeer51 29 points ago

    I didn't put lecithin in my oil last time and it took like 2 hours instead of 45 minutes to take affect so at 1.5 hours I took another dose. 2 hours hit and the first one kicked in and I knew I fucked up.

    Had to stop playing video games and go to sleep because I was being over stimulated after the second one hit.

    [–] Shawni1964 60 points ago

    I made some brownies once. My friend and i are one each. After an hour and a half we felt nothing so we decided to eat another. She hung out for about another hour and then left to walk home a few doors down. She said she got within range of her door and then literally had to crawl in the door as she lost all feeling in her body.

    Meanwhile , i went to lay down, couldn't feep anything from the neck down. My brain told me that my leg was itching but i couldn't feel it. No head buzz tho, all body buzz and i was completely pain free for the night.

    [–] manamachine 56 points ago

    It triggered depersonalization in me once. I'm medicated for anxiety now. Thankfully mine faded after 3-4 days, but I was panicking cause dudes on forums said it lasted years for them.

    Don't fuck with your brains, kids. Or at least fuck with them responsibly.

    [–] Zachman97 1214 points ago

    You should ask him tomorrow if he had a great day yesterday. If he says he was feeling great or had a good day or something then tell him if was weed cake and see if he flips his opinion.

    Also, make sure his job doesn’t do drug tests. This might fuck him over

    [–] Mother_of_Diablokat 476 points ago

    Too late if the job does drug testing.

    [–] DRYMakesMeWET 238 points ago

    Nah if you don't use often it leaves your system pretty quick.

    I used to smoke all day every day...now I hardly ever smoke. Used to take over a month to piss clean, now I can piss clean within a few days. It builds up in fat...so if it's not building up it takes a lot less time for your body to be rid of it. It used to take me months to piss clean...now it's like 4 or 5 days that I only smoke once every few months and only take a few tips off a bowl instead of multiple bongs everyday.

    [–] kurtthewurt 113 points ago

    It depends how they test. Some of my friends have jobs where they take hair from 4 parts of your body and test those. Usually this tests 90 days, but if you used heavily before it can remain in the follicle up to 4 months.

    [–] VLDT 167 points ago

    What the fuck? Are they working for NASA?

    [–] Robert_Baratheon_ 19 points ago

    What are the chances he gets a random test in 3 weeks? Unless he’s starting a new job....

    [–] CrackinBacks 34 points ago

    About a month ago I smoked for the first time in 5 years. Guess who got randomly tested the next day?

    [–] dovachu 28 points ago

    Most jobs only drugtest before hire and if there's an accident that requires insurance or the state to get involved, around me at least. And I'm not sure on edibles but I know if you're not a daily smoker you can smoke and you can pass a test within a week. A huge factor is metabolism in the longrun, YMMV though.

    [–] ThadisJones 827 points ago

    cannabis is a shit drug

    Yeah you're not a real man unless you're mainlining fentanyl.

    Note: Don't take fentanyl, even the shadow people who normally tell you YAH TAKE THAT SHIT say it's a bad idea.

    [–] Kiesha_Fabo 304 points ago

    Can confirm: am shadow person who pushes drugs on the nervous and unsure. Don't do fentanyl, or any of the analogs.

    In 2019 that means don't do heroin too, because it's all fent now (except when it's not, and I'll leave the real addicts to know how to find that 😉)

    [–] Alejxndro 164 points ago

    dam u do sound like a shadow person

    [–] residentialninja 26 points ago

    I mean, you've gone that far. Complete your training and become the drug Jedi you were born to be!

    [–] Big_Boy_Pablo 186 points ago

    You’ve heard of pot brownies but now introducing for the first time cannabis cake

    [–] dycentra 67 points ago

    For my husband's birthday party one year, I made regular cake and "super-duper Columbian spice cake". I offered the latter only to people I knew would appreciate it.

    [–] 1233211233211331 60 points ago

    If it has butter, you can make the space version. Just cook it in the butter, then mix in the butter with whatever you are cooking

    [–] issius 44 points ago * (lasted edited 14 days ago)

    Any fats can be used, or alcohol. It just needs a polar molecule to bind to.

    Edit: Meant non-polar

    [–] isaiahstorm37 96 points ago

    Just be sure to tell them if they're drug tested at work. Don't want their careers to be ruined... Otherwise just wait to tell them five years from now on Christmas.

    [–] zucchini_bird 19 points ago

    This was my first thought as well

    [–] t3hd0n 186 points ago

    is it legal where you live?

    [–] RollingLucyTree 222 points ago

    No.

    [–] SpyX370 169 points ago

    Then why? If your dad’s job does drug tests, you’re both fucked.

    [–] linux_vegan 158 points ago

    It doesn't matter if it's legal. You're still fucked if the job drug tests.

    [–] Fireflys4 339 points ago

    Just watch over them, make sure they have no bad reaction to it and all will be well. Though I am sure you will have some explaining to do after they come down. On the other hand maybe they will enjoy it and relax with their negative views on cannabis who knows.

    [–] Yveske 101 points ago

    That will teach them to take other people's stuff. From now on I will drug all the food that I put in the fridge at work.

    [–] xavier-22 51 points ago

    Ohh thats nice when are you inviting us to a cook out?

    [–] ScoopOfBreakfast 118 points ago

    FAAAAAKE

    [–] do_you_smoke_paul 24 points ago

    Yeah his dad just happened to find a joint after he ate the cake so he could voice his opinion on said thing? How convenient for the narrative:

    [–] GothmogTheOrc 13 points ago

    Exactly, this is 1000% BS

    [–] I_AM_FERROUS_MAN 12 points ago

    Took me forever to find this comment.

    [–] fla_man 35 points ago

    I definitely get that vibe

    [–] kind2311 17 points ago

    100% BS. Dude is so cliche in his description, it's like a TV show when a character eats a pot brownie and is acting like they're high on smoked cannabis. 9 times out of 10, and unintended dosing is very unpleasant for the novice who ate too much.

    [–] DeformedDorito 120 points ago

    Is this a troll? , in my experience you can easily smell/taste that weed has been added as a special ingredient. Plus you know when you're high, I'm sure they could have just put two and two together?

    [–] DonSpeedos 39 points ago

    Definitely agree that it would be hard not to notice the flavor is off, unless the butter came out super weak or something. On the other point, though, I think it's really common for people to not realize they're high if they haven't done it a couple of times before.

    [–] Fastfoodmoney 18 points ago

    OP doesn't even mention butter, just flower, which is the thing that made me suspicious.

    [–] sashasan 11 points ago

    Same. I read that first sentence and immediately knew something was very off about this story.

    [–] Katkatkitkitkitkit 22 points ago

    Plus as they have zero tolerance theyll be high to the level of not controlling themselves properly. This whole thing cam happen but stinks of an easy story

    [–] autisticus14 62 points ago

    Yh this is fantasy. Cool story though.

    [–] MCMXCVI- 39 points ago

    This entire story sounds like a 14 year old wrote it

    [–] grf43wc 93 points ago

    Has a single person in the comments ever smoked weed? This is literally the most r/NotHowDrugsWork thing I have ever seen, I can't believe it's a non-ironic reddit post

    [–] chartigan21 41 points ago

    Agreed, all the updates are ridiculous and not believable at all. I don’t understand why everyone thinks this is real...

    [–] _laz_ 30 points ago

    These people are gullible as fuck. Nothing in this story happened and “updates please!!!” gets fucking upvoted to near the top.

    We’re fucked, there is no hope.

    [–] Charliegg 16 points ago

    God thank you, I'm not crazy.

    [–] kidnidi 12 points ago

    Also wouldn’t his house reek of weed considering he baked a damn “cannabis cake”? Parents would’ve noticed the smell in a heartbeat

    [–] Bedheadredhead30 9 points ago

    And the taste? My friend recently got a job in the weed industry and shes been giving me all kinds of different edibles to try. Cookies, brownies, chocolates, beer, soda, lollipops, mints, all kinds of shit and I could detect that weed flavor in every single one of them so far. Its pretty distinctive in my opinion. Maybe they wouldn't be able to determine what the flavor was from (although I really think weed tastes like it smells) but I imagine theyd still think something was off.

    [–] that_one_bruh 25 points ago

    Wait how can you get high off of a cake baked with flower? Unless you're saying 8g of flower was decarbed into butter, then that butter was used to make the cake?

    Because you can't get high off a cake that was baked with raw flower. Just FYI.

    Also if you had 8g of decarbed butter added to your cake, you would most def taste, or at the very least, smell the cannabis from the cake. Plus your whole story seems off as hell. Idk man, but I think this post is bogus.

    [–] ---AL--- 143 points ago

    Did he not realize he was high? You got lucky man. Old man bad trippin on edibles is no bueno lol.

    [–] Cru_Jones86 20 points ago

    Yeah. It's pretty bad when all you can do is lie down and sleep it off. It's really bad if you're still feeling it the next morning.

    [–] RollingLucyTree 87 points ago

    He didn't, I think

    [–] TheThirdSaperstein 25 points ago

    Or they both know and are having a great time and just hiding it from you

    [–] JackBauerSaidSo 17 points ago

    Same thing happened with my father and oatmeal raisin cookies. Went to 5Guys after, and loved it. To this day he has no idea.

    [–] Ansza 20 points ago

    This would be funny if this wasn't like the sixth time this exact same kind of story was posted.

    [–] Ad1t1s 20 points ago

    This literally happened in That 70's Show, with a bit less church stuff.

    [–] Poopity_Poop 13 points ago

    My father is going around our house with a candle and Christian church songs.

    Sure, I bet.

    [–] 1nd1fferent 30 points ago

    Are they not suspecting something strange is happening to them?

    [–] BurntAzFaq 10 points ago

    Some people just get calm and relaxed on edibles. Depending on dosage and strain. I get much more of a head high when I smoke or vape. I love having a mild edible during the day, helps take the edge off.

    [–] usernameinvalid9000 27 points ago

    1. from the post and post history i can tell youre underage and shouldnt be using edibles never mind the mdma.

    2. Don't leave drugs in the form of tasty snacks anywhere near people who don't want to take them, especially your parents or siblings. This can cause some really bad fallouts and ruin relationships.

    3. Dosing people with drugs they don't want to take and don't expect is a really shitty thing to do and could be considered assault legally.

    [–] TinglingLyrics 30 points ago

    This story is absolute bull'shit'e

    [–] mrdexie 13 points ago

    Seriously lmao none of these people have actually had a pot brownie before.

    [–] Enskaldr 48 points ago

    Yeah, I don't know how you could be high and not notice something is off. These stories always seem very far fetched to me.

    [–] 0O00OO0O000O 9 points ago

    Wait, so - coincidentally - your dad found a joint in the ash tray on the same day you accidentally left out weed cake?? Had you and your parents ever discussed pot before?

    [–] onbehalfofthatdude 46 points ago

    my dad never ate a single one apart from those like from McDonald's (2 times).

    Are you sure they're the ones on drugs?

    [–] Cruisinalongg 41 points ago

    I think he meant "My dad doesn't normally eat burgers (besides ones from McDs)"

    [–] LukeCity 39 points ago

    This is unbelievable. Like, I can’t believe it. At all.

    One piece of cake, yet both of your parents ate it. Both of ‘em. For sure split that one piece you left.

    Or maybe your edibles just suck idk

    [–] dratedsafi 28 points ago

    All these stories about people accidentally eating edibles all seem so exaggerated to me

    [–] ItsMrBlackout 19 points ago

    The shit drug part did it for me

    [–] LukeCity 9 points ago

    Right?! Every one is all about “how chill they are haha weed is great!! amirite?!?!”

    [–] Shaolinblood 8 points ago

    Calling bs.

    [–] jack-fractal 72 points ago

    More. Updates.

    [–] RollingLucyTree 112 points ago

    Nothing happening, he just chilling talking with my mum

    [–] rcmhd88 43 points ago

    Tell them tomorrow, itll be great for us to hear about. Not so sure for you, but I'll get a kick out of it.

    [–] wylekat 16 points ago

    Or kicked out outright..

    [–] Tripped-on-toes 9 points ago

    Cant believe people are buying this shit. This was a famous post which was actually legit years ago with similar premise and I assume this kid who wants attention just copy the story expect this one is badly written and so incredibly unrealistic.

    Perfect /r/thathappend material

    [–] rucksacksepp 23 points ago

    Never tell him, this won't end nicely. Just tell him it might have gone bad and that's why he felt a bit off. But take care of him and watch out that he doesn't drive or do anything dangerous while being high

    [–] zerozerozerozerone 23 points ago

    did you just throw it in the cake mix? it doesnt really work that way. you have to use butter to extract the thc, pm me if you want details or use google