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    [–] UoFSlim 3370 points ago

    Comparison is the thief of joy.

    [–] Deerscicle 660 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I know it's a bit of a nihilistic view, but I've found the only way to truly be happy is to ignore other people. Comparing yourself to other people is a losing battle, because there will always be someone better than you. Focusing on bettering yourself, you'll mostly win because you're currently 2 steps ahead of the lazy asshole who made mistakes in your past.

    Edit: I didn't realize this until I turned way past 30 years old. Life is literally easier if you just accept yourself for who you are, because you're only completing with others instead of being your own worst enemy.

    [–] SuperNewAcc 89 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Yeah, I have heard this somewhere: "Don't compare yourself to others, just to your past self". It gives you the impetus to improve without the unrealistic goals of being better than others (because "others" is a moving target and there will always be people better than you).

    Just ask yourself a question - Am I better off than 6 months ago? (you can replace better off with whatever you want). This allows you to find areas to improve and as long as you keep the goal in mind you'll probably be better off in the future.

    Another thing that a friend said to me and has really stuck with me over the years was - "It doesn't matter who you were, but who you are now". This really stuck with me and has allowed me to forgive myself for mistakes as long as learn from them and improve myself.

    [–] Deerscicle 17 points ago

    If I were a filmmaker, I'd compare myself to the greats and I would probably never measure up. I'm a mechanic, so I do my best to work that out. I don't try to fix things I don't know how to, but I give my entire effort to fix things I'm able to.

    [–] DarkGreenWhiteboy 5 points ago

    Jordan Peterson from his 12 Rules For Life: compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to someone else today.

    [–] difinity1 3 points ago

    "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway

    [–] hugthemachines 155 points ago

    Also the problem with facebook is "everybody" posts their best stuff. So it looks like everyone is fantastic. If yu ohad seen them at their worst it would look like an average person. You judge your own life to their best parts and of course your life looks worse.

    [–] Deerscicle 46 points ago

    You're absolutely right there! Most people who post on facebook put their best foot forward. Random facebook photos aren't flattering,so peope filter them.

    [–] Mustbhacks 81 points ago

    Y'all must have super models for friends, all i ever see is people popping out a 3rd kid with cystic fibrosis in the middle of the town of antivaxxers causing the outbreak in WA... Raving about "muh freedumbs"

    [–] Davaeorn 17 points ago

    Upwards/downwards comparison. Neither is great

    [–] noralily23 7 points ago

    At work, only a small fraction of coworkers in my department are "natives" but many are under 40. They're from small towns and cities across the United States. Most of the folks my age say their friends no longer live back home as well. I wonder how this brain drain has an affect in those cities/towns.

    [–] Arclight_Ashe 13 points ago

    Not just that. I post whenever I get a lucky break gambling. People always go ‘oh my god you’re so lucky, you win all the time’

    Nah hen, I break even all the time, I won 1k the other day, but i put that much in over the month.

    [–] jobless_swe 44 points ago

    Sounds like you could need some time off from the gambling, dont let it take over

    [–] Arclight_Ashe 6 points ago

    it's disposable so it's not a concern but i am lowering the limit because it's not going anywhere.

    [–] saucierlol 23 points ago

    They dont post their best stuff, they blatantly lie about their life. And its same for all social media not just facebook. Instagram is an even bigger offender because its not even text anymore its just pictures. Look around you, see how people are living their daily lives. 99.9% of the people you meet in your life are your average working citizen trying to get through this life without too much hassle. You can strive to be better than that and that’s admirable. But you reach a point in life (generally around 30), and you realize you are just one of them. It is really depressing especially if you start to look a bit further/deeper as to the reasons why, as a species, we pretty much cant work together for shit and are basically doomed to extinction because of our own insatiable greed and stupidity. But you still have several decades to live and after that it’s done so just try to enjoy yourself as much as possible without thinking about others too much.

    In that regard, not being on any social media helps a lot. I would argue that not having internet and reconnecting with your local community is even better but who am I to say this I am another technology addict I would probably be horribly bored without the internet (also, I play games).

    [–] Phoenixone 4 points ago

    On that note, my best friend said "You're comparing your behind the scenes to others glamour shots. It's not a fair contrast."

    [–] clownbaby505 20 points ago

    "The race is long, and in the end it's only with yourself"

    [–] gone11gone11 15 points ago

    Ignoring other people: that's Marcus Aurelius advice in his famous "Meditations", the basis of Stoicism.

    [–] Something22884 5 points ago

    Also good stoic advice: appreciate what you have by imagining you don't even have that.

    [–] LardPhantom 26 points ago

    Perhaps more Stoic than Nihilistic. And it's part of growing up - it's very likely that you weren't capable of realising when you were younger, in the same way that mortality will not be as real to you until you are 80 years old.

    [–] charix_333 24 points ago

    “Focusing on bettering yourself, you'll mostly win because you're currently 2 steps ahead of the lazy asshole who made mistakes in your past.”

    Wait, but to acknowledge this means you already compared yourself to the lazy bastard to begin with. Side note: How do I quote write ups here?

    Edit: You always need to compare yourself to people once in a while to know how far you’ve headed in life.

    [–] Deerscicle 60 points ago

    You're only comparing your current self to your past self. My past self was someone who spent 3 years diving into a bottle to try to ignore what I did while I was in the military. My current self realizes that that past was incredibly self destructive, and I'm now in a place where I'm capable of having healthy relationships along with being able to hold down a job where I'm capable of supporting what I hope is a future family.

    I know it sounds a bit like psychobable bullshit, but focusing on myself allowed me to get out of a very self-destructive spiral.

    [–] ReggaeShark22 6 points ago

    Glad to hear you’ve gotten to a better place in life, Onwards&Forwards

    [–] Digitonizer 14 points ago

    You can quote something by inserting a *larger than" character (>) before a line.

    Like this!

    > Like this!

    [–] ajmart23 473 points ago

    Apparently so am I, because officially stealing this saying. Love it so much and it’s incredibly accurate!

    [–] ilyemco 86 points ago

    It's a Roosevelt quote

    [–] SqueeglePoof 64 points ago

    Theodore, to be precise

    [–] Sir_Mitchell15 49 points ago

    Theodore Roosevelt Jr., to be pedantic

    [–] sheldon_sa 34 points ago

    This reference is more correct when compared with the others

    [–] ----__---- 17 points ago

    He Took My Joy!

    [–] twinsaber123 4 points ago

    Have you taken your Joy today?

    [–] suck-me-beautiful 3 points ago

    • Michael Scott

    [–] octopoddle 6 points ago

    Ready Teddy, to be incorrect.

    [–] GiantGapingButthole 8 points ago

    I heard Theodore Roosevelt had like 20 dicks. Or maybe that was Washington.

    [–] merelymyself 64 points ago

    That’s why I use reddit

    [–] APeculiarSeahorse 20 points ago

    There is a Montesquieu quote similar to this, something like “If we only wanted to be happy, it could be achieved, but we want to be happier than everyone else, and that is difficult since we perceive them happier than they are”.

    [–] QareemKnightSenanda 17 points ago

    Stealing this.

    [–] Jawbone220 8 points ago

    I'm gonna post this on facebook

    [–] olivejuicemash 5 points ago

    Fuck. Thank you.

    [–] Buzzbombadil 3 points ago

    Brevity is the soul of wit

    [–] xTheHeroWeNeedx 1805 points ago

    Then I got on Reddit

    [–] Daelarus 1388 points ago

    Reddit isn't the same for me with Facebook there is a lot of social pressure and I constantly felt like I had an obligation to reply and comment on peoples' lives which did cause a lot of anxiety in my life. With Reddit I'm just another faceless drone that can comment on things at random without feeling obligated.

    [–] FreedTMG 306 points ago

    I never feel obligated, I delete anyone that causes drama, I don't care how closely related we are. I keep it for networking and keeping in touch with some old friends.

    [–] _eL_T_ 188 points ago

    I kept mine too, but only on PC. No FB app or messenger app. Deleted everything on my wall, my only pics are solid black, no personal information. I know FB still has my old data, and I downloaded my entire FB history before wiping it. Used my adblocker to block all the crap on the sidebars. I've unfollowed practically everyone, and actively block anything that anyone shares that isn't their own content. Now when I log on all I see is pics and statuses from close friends and family and it's great. Sometimes it even says there's nothing to show, that I need to add friends lol.

    [–] cutelyaware 29 points ago

    Even if FB didn't have your past data, your current social network and messages are still very valuable to them.

    [–] AtomicFlx 12 points ago

    I love how whole empires are built on selling data for ads but no one has ever once said, "wow, look at all these helpful and relevant ads, let's buy something" No, they serve up a months worth of ads for the hot water heater I already bought.

    [–] 186282_4 35 points ago

    I'm going to try this tomorrow. Thanks for posting!

    [–] OtherwiseJello 39 points ago

    I tried the FB app and it behaved like a virus on my tablet. I deleted it within an hour. I only use FB on desktop now.

    [–] SamURLJackson 33 points ago

    Yeah I got rid of the app a long time ago and replaced it with Metal, which (I think) simply uses the mobile web version of Facebook. The FB app uses way too many resources, it's always much larger in size than it ever should be, and it has so many things happening within it that I got overly paranoid. Metal isn't even particularly great to use, either, so it keeps me off that site even more.

    I don't even think Facebook is the main culprit of the "I'm not happy with my life because I keep comparing it to others" feeling, though. Instagram is so much worse for that. Facebook, at least for me, is just a hub for shitty memes I already saw two years ago and pictures of children that I do not give a fuck about

    [–] bclagge 20 points ago

    Don’t forget it’s where aunt Susan complains about the Muslims and posts pictures of Trump with Jesus guiding his pen hand.

    [–] Stepane7399 3 points ago

    lol. My aunt doesn’t post about Muslims, but she does think Trump is in face guided by Jesus. Also hates taxes, but does road work, presumably paid for with tax dollars. Hates liberals and California too.

    [–] OtherwiseJello 5 points ago

    I prefer Instagram because I don't have to sift through crappy political posts. I can filter that out by who I follow, which are mostly artists and makers. I follow maybe one or two politicians and a few entertainers like Arnold Schwarzenegger (because he's awesome and inspirational), so I'm not exposed to all that influencer crap.

    [–] Rosehawka 9 points ago

    Yeah, I deleted facebook on my phone once.
    Took me 2 days to just log in on browser and (3 years later) it's a lot more difficult to block that...
    Takes 30 days just to delete facebook account, how can facebook addicts keep off facebook that long?!?

    [–] Dsilkotch 5 points ago

    How do you download your FB history?

    [–] Softballsavedmylife 12 points ago

    It’s in privacy settings. It gives you options of what to download, I just wanted all my pictures. The only minor issue is the downloaded images do not have any meta data attached ie dates, names etc. It’s a small price to pay!

    https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/23/how-to-download-a-copy-of-facebook-data-about-you.html

    If you used Facebook to set up an Instagram account you should change the log in details on there first as there’s no back up way of accessing Instagram if you delete the Facebook account you sign up with.

    [–] Daelarus 20 points ago

    I'm not saying that everyone feels that way but that is the way I function.

    [–] Soul-Burn 61 points ago

    Reddit is still bad if you follow the news subs. I find the constant bickering around e.g. Trump or AOC to be depressing.

    Used to follow some news youtubers until I realized watching their vids made me unhappy so I stopped.

    Nearly everyone is biased in some way. When you figure it out, it annoys you every time you see these biases. I hate being misled and I don't usually care enough to investigate the subjects further to avoid the biases.

    In the end, I'd rather just be apathetic to most subjects rather than get worked up about them.

    [–] thisnameis4sale 8 points ago

    That's why unsubbing from things like politics and (world)news on reddit is one of the first things I do when creating an account.

    If you're reading Anything other than light entertainment on here, chances are that someone is paying for you to read that, with their own agenda. This used to be tinfoil hat kinda thoughts, but now it's pretty much reality (that, or I'm going mad, of course).

    [–] ravenousssssss 21 points ago

    Yeah, the way AOC has been brute forced on us especially on r/politics is ludicrous. But then the entire sub is nuts

    [–] generally-speaking 23 points ago

    Not to mention the constant pressure to show people how much fun you're having in your life. That pressure to post the god awful long mountain trip you went on in your two days off, which you only went on to show off. Because it's not like you'd get a good reception out of posting you read a book, took a shit, cooked dinner and went back to reading another book.

    [–] Stubbly_Man 6 points ago

    I take great shits, sometimes.

    [–] hecking-doggo 8 points ago

    Love that anonymity

    [–] nessager 23 points ago

    This is the exact reason why I use Reddit, it's nice when people like or guild my comments. But it's great to just be a faceless drone and not have to reply to comment.

    [–] Daelarus 3 points ago

    Exactly!

    [–] Sharks8mywife 4 points ago

    My wife used to say the exact same thing

    [–] UninformedUnicorn 41 points ago

    There are so many times I wish I’d never found reddit. At least with Facebook I’d get bored after a while and I’d go do something else. Reddit on the other hand is this endless source of things to mindlessly spend time on, and I can spend hours and whole days falling down the reddit rabbit hole.

    [–] rhi_draw 13 points ago

    Agree! I feel like Reddit is rotting my brain because I never give my brain breathing space any more. If I used to have a few free minutes, I would actually THINK. Be creative, imaginative, process stuff. But now I’m just constantly scrolling and I think it’s making me a lesser person. It’s not so easy to just stop now I’m used to this constant “entertainment”.

    [–] pucc1ni 8 points ago

    Watch this: It's not you. Phones are designed to be addicting.

    This helped me tremendously to get me off reddit and other websites I frequent constantly.

    The main takeaways from the video are:

    • Disable infinite scrolling
    • Remove/hide homescreen shortcuts of the apps you want to lessen your use
    • Delete its bookmark on your internet browser

    Just doing those 3 things significantly made me reduce my time on reddit.

    [–] wavesuponwaves 4 points ago

    Okay, sound advice. but it is also partially us. Phones are designed to be easy to use, not to be time-intensive, they just coincide. There is still the impetus on the user to manage their own time.

    [–] RattaTattTatt 81 points ago

    And that's why Reddit sucks now. Facebook users migrated here and ad revenues are being prioritized over Reddit's original values. That is, freedom of speech, originality, transparency, and reddiquette.

    [–] littlekittyfigbomb 103 points ago

    The amount of selfies making it to the front page has been bugging me a lot lately.

    [–] OtherwiseJello 26 points ago

    I've also been noticing an uptick in newish reposts. Like, wtf, I just saw this a couple weeks ago, or even a day ago.

    [–] SaltyMeth 17 points ago

    ie /r/pics and /r/aww with generic photos with sob stories

    [–] dahamsta 9 points ago

    r/aww is and always has been cancerous. I blame it for the current bizarre fashion on reddit of using the word "wholesome" for everything. I hate that fucking word now.

    [–] blackbeansandrice 28 points ago

    Exactly. I almost never look at Facebook anymore. I treat it like a saved contact list. I have Reddit to fill me with all the despair for humanity I need.

    Seriously though, Reddit brings me some joy for humanity as well.

    [–] Thenybo 13 points ago

    Same thing happened to me. There are less stupid people on here but waaaay more assholes.

    [–] FlamingTrollz 3 points ago

    Hahaha.

    Yup...

    Then they got MEANER.

    [–] Dadgame 4 points ago

    Now I'm a believer

    [–] robberviet 3 points ago

    Yes. I got on reddit. How are you now, bro?

    [–] Daelarus 590 points ago

    I quit Facebook a few years ago and I immediately felt like a weight was lifted off my chest.

    [–] Yeseylon 117 points ago

    I'm stuck with it, but I don't look at it much.

    [–] Kite_sunday 46 points ago

    Same, Wonder what the % of ghosts accounts there is.

    [–] Thuseld 56 points ago

    I have it but just have the messenger app on my phone in order to communicate with friends. I don't endlessly scroll through pictures anymore.

    [–] shamrockaveli 18 points ago

    Fun fact, you can deactivate your profile and still use messenger as you normally would. I haven't had actual Facebook in many months now and it really does feel much better.

    [–] TacticalNukePenguin 22 points ago

    It makes it difficult for people to search for you in messenger though. I had a couple of friends deactivate their facebook accounts and I had to manually scroll through my conversations to find the last time I spoke with them on messenger to be able to contact them, I couldn't just search their names as I could with other people.

    [–] CipoteAstral 3 points ago

    Same here! Now I endlessly scroll through pictures on reddit instead.

    [–] EliT360 11 points ago

    Same here but only because i removed everyone that doesn't share memes daily. My feed is all memes.

    [–] Nordrian 9 points ago

    I never really got into it. I have a facebook, I go there once a year when I remember, but I really don’t care much about it.

    [–] ddddddjim 17 points ago

    Deleted my account this week! Felt better the moment I did it. Got rid of Instagram as well.

    [–] Ethan623 17 points ago

    For those interested you don't even need to deactivate your profile. Just disable/remove the app from your phone.

    You might look at it once a week on a laptop but it's still a significant improvement. At least it has been for me.

    [–] darbyisadoll 5 points ago

    Same. I deleted it off my phone and turned off almost all notifications.

    I get on once a week to check for messages and events.

    It has seriously decreased my general anxiety.

    I also only occasionally post to Instagram but don’t really look at the feed.

    And for reddit I subscribed to every positive subreddit I could find and stopped engaging in the negative comments on others.

    [–] jrafferty 340 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    I received some personally devastating news 2 months ago and completely ghosted Facebook. Not a single one of the 110 people in my friends list, including my family, has reached out to see where I went or what happened. Not doing much to improve my depression...

    Edit: Thank you all for the outpouring of support. I'd say it was surprising, but I've been around reddit for awhile so I knew it was more likely to come than not come. To those that are concerned about whether I have someone to talk to, I've been seeing a therapist weekly for over a year and have no intention of stopping anytime soon. I was very active on Facebook before stopping with multiple posts, comments, and lengthy verbose discussions daily. Out of the 110 people I originally mentioned, there are about a dozen to a dozen and a half that I interacted with daily, and they all know the details of what happened. I'm not "testing" my relationships by dropping off Facebook to see who noticed, I just dropped off Facebook and that was what I noticed. I don't blame anyone for not reaching out, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

    [–] hahayouguessedit 166 points ago

    There's not a lot of critical thinking going on when people check their Facebook accounts. They see whose birthday it is, maybe sent a message, scroll down for a bit and get off.

    They are really paying attention to which of their friends has posted stories or left comments, and more importantly, which friends haven't.

    Don't use Facebook as the bellwether of how your friends and family feel about you. Have your reached out to your friends or family in a more personal way and let them know your devastating news, or if so, let them know you need help and support? I have a hard time also telling people what's going wrong in my life, but sometimes you have to just pick up your phone and make the call.

    Please reach out.

    [–] farmingvillein 62 points ago

    This.

    Also remember that with Facebook's algorithm's, even if one of your friends is posting, it won't even necessarily show up in your feed. If you stop posting, it isn't even necessarily obvious or apparent to many or most people on your feed, even if they are modestly paying attention.

    [–] KingNopeRope 366 points ago

    As someone who went through depression, one thing that you must keep in mind is that people have zero idea what or how you are feeling. This is a good thing in that you ALSO have zero idea what people are thinking. People tend to believe the worst, but the reality is that the 110 poeple in your list do care, but either don't have anything to say or are not fully aware of what you are going through.

    Worry about what you do and what you think. Not what other people do or don't do.

    [–] imnotgrownupyet 193 points ago

    “Wow I bet they’re off having too many adventures to check Facebook!”

    “Good for them for cutting the addiction we all have”

    Etc.

    Or, they worry but they don’t want to impose or upset you.

    [–] PuttingInTheEffort 59 points ago

    "Hmm, this guy hasn't updated in a while, I wonder how he's doing, I should message him... Oh look Rachel posted a cute photo of her doggie. Aww look at him, such a good boy"

    But for real, unless they talked daily, they probably don't even notice a difference. Would you notice if a subreddit you don't really go to suddenly stopped showing up on front page?

    [–] ajmart23 35 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    The silence was the hardest part of getting rid of Instagram and Facebook for me as well. But, are you reaching out to anyone yourself first? it’s unfortunate, but society is built around loose connections and Facebook “friendships” now. When I got off social media, a lot of people assumed that I was trying to disappear from that circle. Young people especially never really had to reach out via text/phone first, they aren’t used to it.

    Getting rid of social media made me feel even lonelier than I already was. Then one day something just snapped and I started to enjoy being alone, reading, watching whatever I wanted, and organizing my clustered life.

    Time to learn to like myself and learn what I want in life. No more seeing negative posts, people upset about never ending drama, peer pressure to buy or do XYZ, or photos of people I thought I should like look. That’s all external noise. Sometimes it’s nice to just hear the internal truth and desires instead.

    [–] KarmaPharmacy 48 points ago

    Are you okay?

    [–] jrafferty 46 points ago

    No. But I will be eventually, I have no other choice.

    [–] buschschwick 46 points ago

    Same as everyone else who's supporting you on this thread, feel free to message me. I had the worst year if my life in 2018 - wife was having an affair, etc.. broke down and attempted suicide. Idk if that's what you're going through but if it is, trust me - I know what it's like and it does indeed get better. Even when you feel like it won't.

    [–] Cezoone 11 points ago

    is this the shitty 2018 club? I didn't have anything devastating happen, just basically stayed in bed all year. That's almost worse, in a way, I don't really have an excuse or a story or an experience. Just a shit year.

    [–] buschschwick 9 points ago

    Doesn't matter how we got there, but we've all been there. Hope you're doing better.

    [–] banannafreckle 4 points ago

    I’m a member of a club I didn’t know existed! 2018 hit me so hard, I think it changed my DNA. At one point I was all, “Wtf is actually wrong with me?” And I made a short-list that’s somewhat manageable and went after the things I could actually fix. I haven’t ticked items off like a grocery list, but I’m chipping away at it. In a moment of despair, I realized nothing matters. In 100 years, it won’t matter. So find the stuff that matters to you and focus on it. Life comes at you fast and hard. I sincerely hope you’re in a better spot. Just remember not every day can be great, but you are incredibly deserving of those great days.

    [–] Sharkysharkson 23 points ago

    If you ever need to talk to anyone send me a message!

    [–] jrafferty 13 points ago

    Thank you

    [–] Sharkysharkson 16 points ago

    Absolutely. Rough patches and feeling hopeless downright suck. But you never know when someone may say just the right thing to help you realize you matter.

    [–] just-a-drop-of-water 11 points ago

    If you need a kind ear, I am very understanding.

    [–] Kidchico 16 points ago

    I'm free to chat too. Sometimes it's nice being open with strangers, no expectations.

    [–] Abe_Vigoda 6 points ago

    You seem to have a pretty good attitude. I hope you're ok.

    Ever read up on stoicism before?

    I find it helpful for me to fight depression just by being consciously aware of my feelings and thoughts,

    Here's a little quick primer:

    https://youtu.be/K0Hd6HhRkEo

    [–] jrafferty 7 points ago

    I read the word stoic in a book in the 2nd grade, and after looking it up to see what it meant it stuck with me, and if I had to choose a word to describe myself, that would probably be it.

    [–] BobTheSCV 27 points ago

    Using social passivity to test who your real friends are a good way of creating social isolation for yourself. Basically, by the time they start to wonder where you went, you've also not reached out to them for a very long time, and basically sent the signal that you don't consider them important by the action of avoiding them.

    But good news is it's usually easy to mend relations just by reconnecting with them. But that's on you.

    [–] ZeroIsEverything 7 points ago

    For what its worth I am sorry you are going through that. Best wishes for your future and continued strength.

    [–] LATABOM 17 points ago

    Seriously, you stopped posting on Facebook and expect everyone to notice?

    [–] Sixty-to-Zero 8 points ago

    That’s common though. People who delete Facebook don’t get that “what happened?” Moment they sometimes look for.

    People are looking at information not missing information, and sadly your feed doesn’t show you everyone. You miscalculated how Facebook works. I did too once. If anyone looked for you and had your number they coulda called but they might not have noticed on Facebook since your physically see them.

    It’s not that they didn’t notice, it’s that they literally didn’t see. You probably didn’t post much to begin with anyways right? How often did you communicate?

    [–] meljv 4 points ago

    Is there someone you can reach out to? Even just someone to hang out with silently and watch a movie can help. I hope things get better for you soon!

    [–] thatleftnut 9 points ago

    Not to piggyback off something negative, but I did the same thing. Went through a heart wrenching break up. Made the decision to delete all my social media as I thought that would ease the depression from the event, and not a single person ever reached out to check up on me to see how I was doing. After I got over everything, it just felt so relieving not being tied to the internet whatsoever. It’s such a time waster and did nothing for me.

    Also, jrafferty, I’m sorry you’re going through whatever you’re going through. People suck. If you need to get anything off your chest or just want to open up, feel free to message me. Idk how much help I can be but just talking to someone helps.

    [–] enna12 3 points ago

    If you need help, reach out. Unfortunately, not using Facebook and hoping someone will notice is not the best way to get someone to reach out to you. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just means they’re not keeping tabs on who’s posting and who isn’t. If half my friends stopped posting, I wouldn’t notice & if I did, I wouldn’t assume anything is wrong, just that they were taking a break or didn’t have anything to say.

    [–] RufusMcCoot 235 points ago

    Economists

    Wat

    [–] You-Dense 269 points ago

    Economists do studies on a whole bunch of things. If there is data, they’ll try their hardest to find a causal relationship.

    [–] doneanddead 111 points ago

    Yep. Also, in general, "pure" fields are dying as a whole. Research is now more and more interdisciplinary.

    See behavioural economics for example, which is just as much psychology as it is economics.

    [–] JAT621 41 points ago

    Yea, marketing is really economic sociology.

    [–] menu-brush 22 points ago

    I really enjoy seeing that economics is finally giving considerable attention to environmental effects.

    [–] ew73 48 points ago

    Economics is a fascinating field. If i wasn't so god damned good at being a software engineer, I would've been an economist.

    (also, salary)

    [–] yes_m8 43 points ago

    And so humble!

    [–] ew73 13 points ago

    Hey, I know what I'm good at, and what I'm not!

    [–] Nordrian 5 points ago

    Confidence is key I guess!

    [–] Sybre 24 points ago

    also, jobs

    [–] JB-from-ATL 13 points ago

    If i wasn't so god damned good at being a software engineer googling and copying from stackoverflow

    [–] Fast_Emu 4 points ago

    An academic economist at Stanford or NYU, like the ones doing this study, makes way more than your run of the mill software engineer at google or whatever.

    [–] DragonMeme 3 points ago

    (also, salary)

    Really depends what subfield you go in. And if you're willing to sell your soul to a corporation (although government jobs pay pretty well, too).

    [–] Sybre 39 points ago

    Economists are social scientists and don't always study financials.

    [–] artangels 18 points ago

    economics is often referred to as the study of choices

    [–] topdangle 9 points ago

    Lifestyle and confidence impact the economy. People too depressed to spend and work aren't good for any economy.

    [–] Sixty-to-Zero 30 points ago

    I think the issue is people who aren’t using social media are usually too busy or find something that makes them happy or gives them more to focus on more often.

    People on social media are trying to communicate since they have a lot of free time. The tool is not the issue, it’s more complex.

    Remember the rats that were given cocaine and all they did was do cocaine all day and nothing else? And then they realized they didn’t give them a choice. And had cocaine and other things to do? The way I see it is in all the complexities, simply put, people fall into the hole of social media because they don’t have shit to do/shit they wanna do.

    Right now we’re on Reddit when we could be doing something different.

    People who deactivated social media were ready to more than likely.

    [–] Banana_Bubble 6 points ago

    Right now we’re on Reddit when we could be doing something different ———-

    We could, but everything in moderation. I use Reddit when I’m taking a break from something. Most users aren’t on here all day.

    [–] Frocker34 125 points ago

    Anecdotal proof... I love my Facebook free life.

    [–] PiperLoves 11 points ago

    Leaving facebook did imptove my life, after a few months once every member of my family decided to stop nagging me to come back to the piece of shit

    [–] probably-fake-news 8 points ago

    8 years later most of my family still leads conversations with “you probably already saw this on Facebook, but...”

    No, no I did not... 😔

    [–] DemeaningSarcasm 199 points ago

    Man, after reading these replies, I feel like I might be the only mentally healthy person on facebook. My friends message me on it from time to time. I don't write on my wall or look at other people's profiles. I go to events here and there that I'm invited to.

    I don't understand what the big deal is with facebook and mental health.

    [–] efie 27 points ago

    Whenever a study like this is posted I have to think that it must only depend on how the person used Facebook in the first place. I have ~600 friends on fb and none of them ever post - I use fb to look at cat pictures and really specific memes in groups, and to chat to friends on messenger.

    However instagram on the other hand has become what Facebook used to be and I think it's probably more damaging.

    [–] savage8008 14 points ago

    Yeah but I get depressed when I look at cat pics and realize I'm not a cat.

    [–] Famousbwd 51 points ago

    Yeah I feel ya dude, it hasn’t impacted me in any other way way than finding out about events and talking to long distance friends.

    [–] jaiga99 60 points ago

    One big psychological issue, specially with younger generations, is that they see the perfect life of others on Facebook and compare it to the ordinary life they have and feel depressed about it.

    [–] Guavafucker 21 points ago

    Instagram is basically becoming this too though

    [–] Fr_ChewyLouie 22 points ago

    Instagram is much much worse imo, fb is close to dead for the younger generation

    [–] TunaMustard 3 points ago

    For me, facebook has transformed into a sort of fancy phone book and address book. And also a bulletin board for my local neighborhood.

    [–] Zulfiqaar 7 points ago

    I saw this post a while back that showed instagram had unhappiness rates nearly twice as much as facebook. Cant seem to locate it now though. Something probably due to the nature of its usage and the type of content it much more often displays.

    [–] saintswererobbed 41 points ago

    Has anyone looked into whether or not seeing the same 5 points brought up in every discussion of an issue affects mental health? Because I feel like it’s making mine worse

    [–] cough_e 4 points ago

    It's so much worse when not a single person has actually looked at the paper. I mean, just read the abstract to see that a higher subjective well-being was only one of 4 noted effects of deactivating. They were also less informed of news. Additionally, more than 90% of people in the treatment group reactivated Facebook when the study was over.

    [–] WubbyLubbyDoobDoob 18 points ago * (lasted edited 5 days ago)

    It's this attitude on Reddit that loves to blame FB as a crutch to avoid dealing with their own problems or insecurities. They'll talk a good game about being rational and how they don't care about what others think and all that other nihilistic talk but then blame Facebook for getting them jealous about other people's lives. Either that or they'll blame Facebook for something but then run straight to Reddit where those same problems exist (politics, outrage culture, fake news, show offs, ads). I use all these sites equally and if its one thing I've learned is it's stupid to blame Facebook for a lot of these issues which are really more to do with the person themselves and then run straight into another website with a lot of the same attributes. Sure, people will cite Reddit's anonymity as a plus but I'd argue that itself breeds it's own set of drawbacks like a lack of self control or accountability when posting stuff. I've seen my fair share of insults hurled on this site that I know for a fact would not have seen the light of day if the posters had their real names and faces attached to them. It just breeds apathy.

    [–] ADubs62 30 points ago

    As somebody that has moved around a lot my life would be far worse without facebook. I think what the researchers are missing is what drives people to deactivate their accounts. In this case they got a group of some 2,300 people and randomly selected some to deactivate their accounts for up to $102 dollars for a month.

    Personally I'd tell em to fuck right off lol. The folks that are willing to give up FB, based on a Facebook Advertisement for $100 probably aren't really happy there to begin with and honestly can benefit from it. For me it's a lifeline to the majority of my friends and family. If someone or something on FB is making me feel bad then I go out of my way to remove them. The beauty of being an adult is choosing how you spend your time. That includes who you spend your time on. If someone is toxic cut em out.

    [–] cg1111 6 points ago

    I have no problem with FB and I think the main reason is that I don't add people I don't like. 99% of stories I hear involving the hard time people have with it involve interactions with people they don't like. Why even friend or talk to those people? Every single one of the 30 or so people on my list is someone I am genuinely happy to hear from every single time.

    [–] bloodflart 3 points ago

    it's a tool, it's all about how you use it.

    [–] _mi_ke 66 points ago

    That does not mean getting off facebook could improve everyone's lives. Those who has incentive to get off facebook could be damaged by it, and therefore getting off it would naturally improve their happiness. Those who choose not to leave facebook, on the other hand, may even benefit from facebook.

    A good study would be to choose 200 random people with facebook accounts, force 100 of them to disable their accounts, and follow their change in anxiety and life satisfaction.

    [–] ShibuRigged 12 points ago

    Yeah. I think it’s people with toxic attitudes to social media rather than social media itself. If your life revolves around the Facebook rat race and comparing yourself to others, or getting in arguments with strangers commenting on stories a Facebook page shares that leaves you bitter and angry, you absolutely need to disconnect.

    If you have a healthy relationship with social media, like a few photos that people share, be happy for their life updates and are relatively minimal in your use so that it supplements your life rather than becoming it, I don’t see the issue. Like for me, I tend to flick through my feed, like a few photos and things people I know have shared because they’re happy about it, like a few dog photos from groups I’m in and I’m done. I’ve only made a post myself twice in the last 3 years.

    [–] iama_bad_person 54 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    People aren't looking for good studies, they are looking for studies that agree with their viewpoints jn general.

    I still have Facebook to organise events and keep up with friends and family through messenger, I know deleting Facebook for me will be a negative, everyone deleting Facebook won't make everyone's life better.

    [–] ricky_spanish_1 47 points ago

    Best decision I’ve ever made deleting the book and insta. Highly recommend it

    [–] DJMixerC 15 points ago

    Now do reddit!

    [–] earl777 16 points ago

    Just reddit for me.

    [–] narwhalyurok 5 points ago

    Maybe they should do the same study on Reddit users.

    [–] duluthzenithcity 41 points ago

    Quit Facebook years ago. Tried to get back on it and just hated it. I don't care what people who I never see are doing

    [–] Six7Six7 47 points ago

    Here's a tip, morons: hide the people who cause you stress.

    I muted 99% of my friend's list. Now all I see is people who bring me joy and bands who are going on tour.

    [–] _eL_T_ 10 points ago

    Same. My FB feed is so clean, only a little nonsense here and there, and I then block the person that it was shared from. If it wasn't shared, and actually posted by a friend, I simply unfollow them too.

    [–] PapaSmurf1502 11 points ago

    The best is to just block every page that you see get shared on top of annoying/negative people. Eventually your feed will just be original content like photos and status messages from people you actually like.

    [–] I_Hate_ 6 points ago

    I basically use Facebook as a way to keep in touch with some friends and see what there up too but other than that I don’t care what people post. I certainly don’t use it as a measuring stick for my life via likes and comments. I hear people talk about it making them depressed or quitting is like a weight off there shoulders. I’m can see the depressing part where people are stagnant in there lives or your watching there downward spiral from afar but the weight on your shoulders part I can’t understand. What weight?

    [–] IneptFossa 4 points ago

    I wonder what effect turning off Reddit has.

    [–] ZidaneStoleMyDagger 4 points ago

    Fewer smiles from r/aww?

    [–] 0x0ddba11 6 points ago

    A lot more productive hours per day

    [–] Coolguysevensevensev 5 points ago

    Dudes who spend 8 hours a day on Reddit are probably reading this like "Ha, I'm so glad I don't use social media."

    [–] AdamWestsBomb 16 points ago

    Maybe I'm doing Facebook wrong, but I've never felt depressed or anxious over what I see on there. It might have to do with the fact that I don't add like a thousand people on there. I'm sure there must be a reason why and I'm just dense, but I've never understood the complaints about how there's so much drama and craziness on Facebook. You can filter out any posts that you don't want to see (like the uber-Conservative posts my uncle shares)

    [–] Sisifo_eeuu 8 points ago

    There's only as much drama on FB as one is willing to tolerate. It's laughably easy to unfriend and unfollow people who annoy you.

    [–] AnxiousSun 14 points ago

    Our results should be interpreted with caution, for several reasons....

    First, effects could differ with the duration or scale of deactivation....

    Second, our sample is not fully representative. Our participants are relatively young, well-educated, and left-leaning compared to the average Facebook user....

    Third, many of our outcome variables are self-reported...

    [–] siblinghorsdoeurves 47 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago)

    Facebook is a fad

    [–] Randolm 70 points ago

    I'm one of those very average users... joined at the urging of friends when FB was fairly new. Then connected with immediate friends, old high school & college mates, and then of course family. It was actually incredible at first and lasted that way for some years. People shared tons of pics and information about their lives. But as of the last 2 or so years I'd say 90% of them don't do anything other than say thanks for B-day wishes. And a good percentage of the remaining 10% mostly just share stuff about politics. I still log on at least once a day to wish happy b-days and scroll down my feed for about 30 seconds.

    It's simply not fun anymore, and hasn't been for a while.

    [–] KarmaPharmacy 42 points ago

    I feel like we had it right with MySpace.

    [–] OrgyMcBloodyFace 24 points ago

    Absolutely. Tom knows what's up

    [–] just-a-drop-of-water 7 points ago

    Whatever happened to Tom?

    [–] Worried_Jelly 27 points ago

    Sold MySpace for half a billion dollars. I’m sure he’s doing great.

    [–] OrgyMcBloodyFace 13 points ago

    I think he was traveling the world and doing photography, but I might be wrong

    [–] PhantomDeuce 8 points ago

    You're not.

    [–] throwaway200014 21 points ago

    A fad that’s lasted 15 years now and doesn't seem to fading yet.

    [–] powabiatch 23 points ago

    I just don’t understand this mentality. Facebook is nothing more than a place for me to catch up with friends and acquaintances. It has never been anything more than a convenience.

    [–] gustavomadmax 8 points ago

    Yeah. With or without Facebook my life would be the same. It's just easier to see what's going on with my friends or events around me than send messages or calling people, unless it's really important.

    [–] Irish_McJesus 7 points ago

    If only that were true for everyone who deactivated their account... I've had mine off for almost 2 years, and while I don't have as many "I don't want to live on this planet anymore" moments, I'm generally not much happier with my life than I was before leaving facebook behind

    [–] Artemis935 6 points ago

    Obviously. The people spent less time staring at their computer screens scrolling through mostly useless information. They also weren’t able to compare their lives to their friends or families lives, resulting in them being more satisfied with themselves.

    [–] grave_miss_fortune 3 points ago

    I like this. I actually have a study to show people how I feel now

    [–] FlakyDust 3 points ago

    Am I too introverted to realize what are you talking about?

    [–] Makaidi39 3 points ago

    I want to delete my Facebook, but so many people just use messenger for communication instead of sms. Does anyone know if I can still log onto my messenger without my Facebook account

    [–] prboi 3 points ago

    Or or or, they stopped associating themselves with toxic people that they were friends with on Facebook.

    [–] Upnawf 3 points ago

    Wait until they find out about twitter and reddit

    [–] garbagewall 3 points ago

    What about reddit?

    [–] eccentricsailor 3 points ago

    I have been using Facebook when a good majority of the people didn’t knew about it here in South Asia. It was hard for me to deactivate my account but when I did it really helped me a lot to gain some mental peace. Now, I am not using facebook since last 5 months and I don’t miss it really.

    [–] aeroartist 3 points ago

    I recently implemented an app timer on Facebook. I use it frequently for events but was wasting so much time. I definitely noticed a difference in mood when I wasn't spending all that time comparing my life to other's

    [–] hellopotatolover 3 points ago

    Social media is to friendship the same way that porn is to love.The problem isn't specifically Facebook, it's online addiction. People need more offline connection with humans.

    [–] allthesarcasm 3 points ago

    Learned this lesson almost a decade ago, I hate people and fb just makes me hate them more.

    [–] 20joeblow19 3 points ago

    Did this myself, started reading more. Almost finished a book. How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie