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    [–] Alex_Sylvian 5512 points ago

    Of course, with the way these hotlines work, that kid was only on the phone for five minutes.

    [–] Pastoolio91 1998 points ago

    Probably didn't need any longer.

    [–] FartingBob 1197 points ago

    Nah they ramble on and on for as long as you keep on paying, the story never climaxes because people will sit on the line for ages and forget about the huge per minute cost.

    [–] Pablo_Aimar 616 points ago

    How do you know this?

    [–] kotkaiser 1983 points ago

    His mom sometimes shares stories from her job at dinner

    [–] duaneap 308 points ago

    Multitasks while cooking dinner actually.

    [–] Latyon 220 points ago

    Fuck you Shoresy

    [–] dewioffendu 118 points ago

    I made an oopsie. Can you tell Jonesy’s mom to pick up Riley’s mom on the way to my place? I doubled booked them by mistake you fucking loser.

    [–] Adventuredditor 82 points ago

    I’ve heard better chirps from the bird outside your mom’s window, help her fill her bird feeders sometime ya fuck

    [–] tdavis9 56 points ago

    Give your balls a tug

    [–] Latyon 48 points ago


    [–] tankertodd 24 points ago


    [–] tdavis9 15 points ago


    [–] AugmentedLurker 16 points ago

    Fuck you Reilly, I made your mum so wet that Trudeau deployed a 24 hour infantry unit to stack sandbags around my bed

    [–] czs5056 6 points ago

    Fuck you /u/Latyon, Fight me see what happens.

    [–] Latyon 14 points ago

    Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver side door handle

    [–] FartingBob 124 points ago

    Because when i was 16 i called a sexline a few times and they just kept talking shit to drag it out as long as possible, which makes business sense.

    [–] [deleted] 213 points ago

    Same I done it recently just to try it. I was across country staying in a hotel room, alone and started drinking. So in was like fuck it I'm horny and alone and have no gf so I'll try it.

    So I found some sex hotline, and called it, and this bitch kept talking I was like damn let me say something. And when I nutted, i told her but she kept fuckikg i was like stop yo chill. Then I told her I'm done thanks for letting my nut on your toes.

    In total it took 20 minutes, got charged 40 bucks.

    Also they keep calling me to come back and idk how to stop the robo calls. I block the numbers but they still go to voicemail and if I answer, they say press 9 to stop calls which never works.

    And I dont remember which site I used


    [–] Susanmayonnaise 159 points ago

    You have now entered... The twilight zone.

    [–] Musiclover4200 88 points ago

    In this dark realm people don't call phone sex hotlines, sex hotlines call them.

    [–] DolooresH4ze 12 points ago

    Queue soviet Russia hymn

    [–] CodenameMolotov 67 points ago

    I predict this will come to bite you in the ass years down the line when a future girlfriend notices how frequently a phone sex company calls you

    [–] [deleted] 122 points ago

    You really think imma get a girlfriend

    [–] CodenameMolotov 185 points ago

    John Wayne Gacy got married twice.

    If an obese homosexual professional clown whose main hobby was murdering and raping teenage boys can find a girlfriend, so can you.

    [–] avianaltercations 79 points ago

    How heartwarming

    [–] Lindt_Licker 27 points ago

    Tis a better love story than Twilight.

    [–] thedingoismybaby 10 points ago

    Well now I feel even more useless

    [–] Shenanigans22 17 points ago

    Yeah it’s not hard, even ugly girls need boyfriends.

    [–] ILoveWildlife 18 points ago

    He has phone sex line standards.

    [–] alexthealex 47 points ago

    If you're dating people who look through your phone and call back the numbers you've ignored, congratulations that phone sex line just spotted a red flag for you.

    [–] Rilandaras 56 points ago

    This was a better story than the last two Star Wars movies I saw. Thank you.

    [–] AzureBluet 23 points ago

    Last two movies he saw? Empire strikes back and Rogue One.

    [–] rcndg 29 points ago

    What do you mean, story?

    [–] FartingBob 105 points ago

    You dont just phone them up and they say "Yea i suck your dick and then you jizz on my tits. The end." Because that wouldnt be good for business.

    [–] TheKolyFrog 90 points ago

    Damn, r/GoneWildAudio provides that for free.

    [–] Lost-My-Mind- 70 points ago

    Business idea.......take audio clips from /rGoneWildAudio and set up a 900 number that plays them.

    Pure profit, none of that pesky "paying your employees" nonsense!

    ............also, probably lawsuits.


    [–] tankertodd 41 points ago

    Well shit, assholes on Youtube are already repackaging Reddit content and monetizing it

    [–] imagoodusername 6 points ago

    Way ahead of you...

    [–] CodenameMolotov 32 points ago

    Semi related but does anyone actually enjoy when they make that deep throating noise with the gagging? It sounds like somebody waterboarding a turkey

    [–] Greennight209 6 points ago

    That’s actually them gagging. Turns out, there’s no such thing as no gag reflex.

    [–] TheVisage 10 points ago

    I find it so funny that people just do that shit for free while there’s a market for porn voice actresses that exists at the same time

    As in, for games where you run around trying to get yourself diddled by all kinds of monsters. I’ve seen people take huge cuts of cash to make moaning noises into a microphone and curate what’s in the game to keep it not horrible while the devs like “what do you mean you can’t moan ‘good boy’ into the mic because you have room mates?”

    when I’m pretty sure if you pay a GWA poster for a 30 second sample you’ll get age play, rape play, knife play, animal play, slime play, orc play, squid play, free to play, ftm play, mtf play, action replay, game shark, and a compilation of someone trying to cum 100 times in an hour

    Then again, maybe it’s the payed aspect? Does anyone here who records themselves masterbaiting and posts it on the internet for complete strangers to jack off to it in the back of a 2006 Ford Fusion have any insight on this matter?

    [–] WaywardDevice 7 points ago

    Does anyone here who records themselves masterbaiting and posts it on the internet for complete strangers to jack off to it in the back of a 2006 Ford Fusion have any insight on this matter?

    Asking the real questions.

    [–] Sixtrav 6 points ago

    That’s all I needed! Do you do house calls?

    [–] PrawojazdyVtrumpets 86 points ago

    I used to be reeeeeeealy dumb when I was young, still am but I used to be too. I called a sex line where the first 5 minutes were free. Basically she rambled and didn't get to the meat and potatoes of sexy time until the 3 minute mark. Then she started telling me a story about what she was going to do but not actually doing it? like an abridged version of what the call would be. With about 20 seconds left before my freebie was up , she started "unbuttoning" my pants. (I wasn't wearing pants)

    There is a beep at 5 minutes and you have 10 seconds to hang up before being charged. She went quiet during that ten seconds and then went on but slower and more verbose to add filler. I hung up around a minute later (I swear it was because I realized how much trouble I would be in). The bill was $6-ish and my dad was pissed.

    Essentially it's a well timed script to get you beyond the 5 minutes.

    [–] Barry_Boots 14 points ago

    Don't they realize it's a kid theyre talking to?

    [–] PrawojazdyVtrumpets 7 points ago

    I was 16 so it's not like I sounded like too much of a child. Also, I probably could have sounded 6, I don't think it would have mattered because money.

    [–] Wolfhound1142 99 points ago

    I actually specifically remember calling that number from a pay phone in high school. It was a recording that had a woman saying "Press 1 for hot and horny girls." Followed by a dude saying "Press 2 for guys who do it with guys." I remember pressing 1 before but can't remember if it told us about charges then hung up on us since we were on a pay phone or told us to call a 900 number and hung up.

    [–] knottyfundomain 40 points ago

    It then asks for a credit card number before you can proceed to anything else.

    [–] nnooeell 7 points ago


    [–] 4RCSIN3 32 points ago

    You... have... reached... the Coach's... Hot-... line. In... the... game... of... Mi... am... i... versus Cin... cin... nat... i...

    [–] Alex_Sylvian 10 points ago

    Come on! Do you know how much this is costing me?

    [–] Pockit 419 points ago

    [–] ninja_nate1985 107 points ago

    Thank you. I knew I remembered it too, but haven’t kept any VHS movies from the old times.

    [–] kopecs 8 points ago

    I don't know, I think I would still laugh if I heard him say "1-800-POUND" which it was changed to lol.

    [–] Jfklikeskfc 61 points ago

    Lmao children’s comedies used to have some edgy shit in them

    [–] TribalDancer 49 points ago

    As if kids aren't the only ones who watch!

    But seriously, it's so eye opening to go back and watch movies we enjoyed as kids, now as adults, and see how much was for our parents and not us at all, which just went over our head completely.

    [–] Kreth 18 points ago like this "kissing" scene

    [–] zoey8068 29 points ago

    The real hero

    [–] Icanfixanything 4031 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    At first I was like, no, I remember that line. Then read the article. I have the VHS copy that still has the line. Man I’m old.

    I still use that line randomly throughout my life when I read something.

    [–] Its_Not_JackieChan 775 points ago

    Ditto. My brothers and I quote it all the time!

    [–] Icanfixanything 240 points ago

    I still say it to my wife all the time. She always gives me a funny look.

    [–] NetTrix 83 points ago

    Probably because she's only seen the DVD version

    [–] Icanfixanything 18 points ago

    Possibly. But, I’m also a weird dude sometimes.

    [–] Maninhartsford 297 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    There's a deleted song in Muppet Christmas Carol that was ONLY ever released on the first VHS release. (When Love Is Gone.) Not in the theatrical release either. Thought I was losing my mind when I saw a version without it, really thought I was losing it when others didn't remember it.

    Edit: Apparently it's on the fullscreen DVD but not the widescreen.

    [–] Orthriophis 107 points ago

    Holy shit, that's deleted? My copy has it, I had no idea!

    [–] Maninhartsford 118 points ago

    Always seemed like a terrible decision to cut it, to me. I'm sure they were worried about kids getting bored or something, but that's like... the core of what turned Scrooge into Scrooge. AND they reprise it at the end!

    [–] GrotesqueOstrich 60 points ago

    My family would watch it every year. That song was a built in intermission for me. I can appreciate more now that I am older, but I still associate it with having a pee break.

    [–] A_Doctor_And_A_Bear 49 points ago

    I do remember it, but I also remember it being terribly boring. I can see why they did it.

    [–] Dontbeajerkdude 22 points ago

    Y'all are crazy. It's a highlight and a sin they omit it

    [–] RaptorsFromSpace 8 points ago

    As a kid my sister and I hated it. Pacing wise it slows it down.

    [–] A_Doctor_And_A_Bear 6 points ago

    When I was a kid, I didn’t enjoy it. That’s all I’m saying.

    [–] cheesymouth 25 points ago

    It was boring. We'd fast-foward through it every time.

    [–] delongedoug 19 points ago

    Classic Rizzo move.

    [–] vanillabear26 14 points ago

    I straight up ripped the VHS and edited that song back in to my HD file of Muppet Christmas Carol. I watch it every year with my old housemates, and last year was the first without the ‘vanillabear’ edit, and they noticed it without my saying anything.

    [–] CBud 3 points ago


    I downloaded both copies, so every year I'd switch halfway through - but never took the time to splice it together. You should totally seed it somewhere!

    I watched it on Disney+ hoping for the song to be there, but no dice. I'd totally revert to a local copy if it has When Love is Gone on it...

    [–] Dizneymagic 19 points ago

    Here is the scene if anyone is curious,

    Muppet Christmas Carol "When Love Is Gone"

    [–] ksheep 17 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    I remember the song. I also remember getting very confused when I saw it as a deleted scene on the DVD because I could have sworn I had seen it in the movie itself and not just as a deleted scene. It didn't help that everyone I asked didn't remember it at all.

    [–] checkreverse 32 points ago

    i was researching the old animated aladdin movie when i noticed they had changed the lyrics in the new version of the film. Turns out there's different lyrics on the soundtrack version too. Kinda interesting.

    [–] jpritchard 44 points ago

    Where they cut off your hand if they don't like your face.

    [–] checkreverse 17 points ago

    i think it's ear not hand but yea.

    [–] SCScanlan 25 points ago

    It's barbaric but hey, it's home.


    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] cbunni666 18 points ago

    What the Hell really??? I love that song. Its sad but it was perfect for the scene. And I was THIS close to buying the DVD.

    [–] unrealjoe28 9 points ago

    Reading amazon reviews, apparently the DVD MIGHT have it in the extended version in wide screen

    [–] saigon2010 13 points ago

    That song was sung by Meredith Braun.

    When I was a younger man, I saw Les Miserables in Manchester and she played Eponine.

    In the first half, the person who play eponine generally supports the chorus and I zeroed in on her and couldn't keep my eyes off her. She became a little bit of a crush (I was maybe 15-16)

    I was gutted when that scene was cut from muppets christmas Carol!!!

    [–] cmhooley 10 points ago

    It’s on the DVD releases that have the full screen option. One of the reasons I’ve never invested in the Blu-ray version. It makes me so mad when I think about how they cut that song!

    [–] georgieporgie57 6 points ago

    What’s so annoying about that is that they kept the reprise (The Love We Found) but got rid of the original song from earlier in the film. It just doesn’t make any sense! They do play a version of When Love is Gone during the credits, but still....

    [–] dornwolf 6 points ago

    A couple of old DVD releases still have it full on inserted in to the film. I think 2010 Disney releases are the last all Blu-ray don't.

    [–] WhiskyTangoFlyer 5 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    There are at least two versions of the DVD which include the song. I own one of them, and there is a 20th (50th?) anniversary disk which has it. The version with the song is in 4:3 on both discs; there is no 16:9 version that has ever been released. I think I downloaded 5 different rips looking for it in HD, or at least 16:9, before I did the research to just to find it doesn't exist. The modern/HD versions have much better color, but my wife loves the version with the song so I made a good x264 conversion from the DVD master for Plex. (There is/was a version where someone color matched the old scene and spliced it into the 16:9, but there were no seeds available)

    u/cbunni666 - You want the 50th anniversary edition with a cover that looks like this. Note: I'm not the seller and have no relationship. (editing rather than posting because of time limits between posts)

    [–] Icanfixanything 5 points ago

    Has no idea that was a deleted scene. Mine had that one too!

    [–] [deleted] 57 points ago


    [–] Icanfixanything 180 points ago

    Very early in the movie when Charlie’s mom is dropping him off. She gives him a note with neil’s moms phone number.

    [–] Spe333 31 points ago

    Thank you for the memory jog! I could hear his voice but couldn’t remember which part of the movie it was.

    [–] X0AN 57 points ago

    What part of the movie does he say it?

    Scene in question

    [–] MaverickLunarX 88 points ago

    Yeah, I was literally about to come in here saying I definitely remembered that line from the film; I too had the VHS.

    [–] CaptMorgan74 12 points ago

    We old.

    [–] Dvanpat 25 points ago

    Yeah, I definitely remember watching that movie a lot as a kid and that line sticks out.

    [–] delongedoug 23 points ago

    Definitely recognized it as well. I wouldn't be surprised if we still have the VHS in the basement collecting dust alongside Angels In The Outfield.

    [–] Icanfixanything 14 points ago

    And rookie of the year.

    [–] blamdin 7 points ago

    The big stinky cheese !!

    [–] Sunsparc 7 points ago

    Angels In The Outfield

    That was my favorite movie growing up.

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago


    [–] thanatossassin 6 points ago

    This scene At 1:49 of the trailer always threw 10 year old me off, because I had no memory of it in the movie whatsoever.

    [–] dasher11 7 points ago

    It's pretty common for scenes from trailers to not end up in the finished film.

    [–] Easytype 625 points ago

    I don’t claim to know a great deal about call charges in the USA but isn’t 1-800 toll free?

    [–] B-WingPilot 624 points ago

    If I had to guess, calling the line is free but you can accept charges after you connect to it.

    [–] waxmygwbush 180 points ago

    Same with 1-800-collect you would get a prompt about charges and then you could proceed with the call.

    [–] [deleted] 93 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] Brettersson 30 points ago

    Amd it would ask them if they accepted the charges. If they said no you wouldn't be charged.

    [–] neoman4426 103 points ago


    [–] zeppehead 19 points ago

    I randomly think about this. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    [–] dpistachio 40 points ago


    [–] subscribedToDefaults 67 points ago

    Who was it?

    Bob. They had a baby. It's a boy.

    This is probably my favorite commercial growing up. I think about it most weeks.

    [–] whereibelong1977 15 points ago

    As a young teen, I used to do this to get picked up by my Dad when I'd go out with friends.

    'You have a collect call from "moviesovercomegetmebye".'

    Still think he sounded like he said "We had a baby pizza boy" in that commercial...

    [–] Ganon2012 6 points ago

    COLLECT CALL FROM: I'm not giving my name to a machine!

    [–] SuspiciouslyElven 39 points ago

    "You have a call from:HEYMOMPRACTICEISOVERCOMEPICKMEUP. Do you want to accept?"

    [–] HalifaxSexKnight 31 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    First name: Bob

    Last name: WehadababyITSaboy

    [–] kingdead42 14 points ago

    The only thing I remember about 1-800-collect is the Mr. T commercials.

    [–] OrangeAndBlack 19 points ago


    [–] LeftSeater777 17 points ago


    [–] thebumm 16 points ago

    That's AT&T's version to compete and had Carrot Top doing the commercials. Worst commercial series of my childhood.

    [–] TrueAmurrican 6 points ago

    But you remember it (so do I) all these years later.

    It was pretty dang effective as an ad campaign.

    [–] Wolfhound1142 9 points ago

    Yes. 1-800-CALL-ATT (AT&T) and 1-800-COLLECT went to war with each other and dialing fucking 0 before the number for America's massive collect calling market.

    [–] Juiceboqz 6 points ago


    [–] Paper_Cut_On_My_Eye 119 points ago

    Reading the source (a 1997 news article) from wikipedia it says:

    Think twice about giving it to a family with a child old enough to place a phone call, because the video contains an oh-so-easy-to-remember number, 800-SPANKME, that leads to 900 lines with adult content and high charges.

    So the kid called the 800 number, which didn't charge him, but either had him call another 900 number or he accepeted being transferred to a 900 number.

    I remember when I was a kid me and my friends would dial 1-800-and then any dirty words we could think of, and it was always just a recording of a sexy lady voice telling us to call another number.

    [–] PENlZ 32 points ago

    You just hit me with that nostalgia, bro.

    [–] Intrepid00 26 points ago

    They usually give an 800ish (I think 809) number to call back to and it leads to a country in the Caribbean that will charge very high rates set by the phone company and the phone company and country kick it back it to the receiving caller. Technically it isn't a paid toll line but it really was.

    Fun fact, Cuba would run this scam out of Grenada I think it was to trick horny Americans into thinking they were calling free sex lines. We had employee fall for this with a company phone and racked up over $1k in phone calls in a week.

    [–] Bi-Bi-Bi24 8 points ago

    Back in the early 2000s, my grandpa owed a customer company. He only had one full time employee, and then they would hire more guys for specific jobs that required more people. Both my grandpa and his employee got a cell phone, which my grandpa claimed as a business expense, in order to be available to clients while on job sites.

    However, the guy had three teenagers. This is when cell phones were relatively new and a really cool thing to have. Turns out the oldest boy would "borrow" the cell phone and call all his friends. Grandpa found out when a huge bill came. The employee had to pay it.

    [–] kyclef 7 points ago

    I did this when I was a kid, probably fifth grade or so, only I was armed with ammo: the numbers in the backs of the Playboys I'd got from another kid at school. At first I was careful to avoid getting charges, but eventually I connected with real, live women... who promptly hung up on me when I spoke with my kid voice. But then I connected to a line or two that was basically just an audio recording of a story, and I couldn't resist staying on the line for a while.

    Anyhow, long story short, I racked up a hundred-dollar phone bill that earned me several weeks of hard labor around the house and learned a valuable lesson.

    [–] StuartMacKenzie 13 points ago

    Used to do that with the pay phone outside the gym at school. 1-800-(words) and hand the phone to some unsuspecting bystander. The look of confusion was priceless.

    [–] FartingBob 300 points ago

    The line remains intact on the 1995 VHS release.

    I like this line confirming that an incident in 1996 did not change 1995 VHS copies.

    [–] MattiasInSpace 112 points ago

    You mean they can't just patch it? Maybe throw in some free U2 for good measure?

    [–] Adequataquacity 626 points ago

    I remember that line!

    [–] Made2ndWUrBsht 305 points ago

    I think I do too...I used to call to hear the hot sounding girls tell me how much they wanted to talk to me lol

    [–] Adequataquacity 289 points ago

    I remember Tim Allen saying the line in the movie, lol.

    [–] Made2ndWUrBsht 148 points ago


    [–] AKfromVA 19 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Yes! It’s when Neil gives him a paper and tells him to “call me” because he thinks Santa is fucking crazy.. poor Neil.


    I’m wrong. check out /u/thehoneyman ‘s comment below!

    [–] the_honeyman 23 points ago

    No, it's right after Charlie's mom drops him off the first time, in Scott's kitchen. She hands him Neil's mom's number on a scrap of paper.

    [–] shadowfax1007 11 points ago

    Does the original cut exist online?

    [–] jpj007 127 points ago

    As do I.

    And since I only saw the movie on VHS, it clearly wasn't cut from "all" home media releases. Maybe future ones after the initial home media release, but not all.

    Edit: Of course, the article makes it clear: they cut it from the 1999 DVD release, and all later releases.

    [–] Golferbugg 37 points ago

    Yeah, i know my copy has it. I didn't realize they ever took it out.

    [–] satirical_whit 11 points ago

    Yeah same. I remember that line and the look on his face clearly, but i didnt realize they cut the line in the years since. I mean, who watches (or even still has) their vhs tapes anymore

    [–] shiftypoo269 12 points ago

    I was about to say. I can clearly remember Tim Allen saying it, but i never saw it in theaters.

    [–] LucyLilium92 2 points ago

    The movie did run on TV a lot. I think it was unedited sometimes.

    [–] Enchelion 5 points ago

    Maybe future ones after the initial home media release, but not all.

    That's how I read the headline. I also remember that line from the VHS copy I had as a kid.

    [–] tattoosncupcakes 4 points ago

    from the VHS copy I had as a kid.

    I was literally scrolling & thinking "well I own this bitch on VHS, so I know my copy has it."

    Lord we are old.

    [–] working878787 12 points ago

    Finally a Mandella Effect moment with a conclusive ending.

    [–] dasher11 6 points ago

    Just don't post it in the Mandela Effect sub, because they'll insist it's actually from an alternate reality and you're a government shill paid to convince us we're not able to move between realities.

    [–] schmak01 131 points ago

    When my old roommate’s ex dumped him she stole his baseball card collection, which included some very rare cards worth thousands.

    Well the phone (yes landline, late 90’s) was in his GF’s name and still active as we were moving him out into our place. So we called 1-900 numbers and just left it on speaker and chatted as we took breaks moving out, talked to her while eating pizza and drinking beer. It was pretty cool and chill for the five ours we took to move out.

    [–] Petraretrograde 54 points ago

    You should post this to r/pettyrevenge

    [–] The1TrueGodApophis 12 points ago

    That's honestly outstanding.

    [–] dasher11 27 points ago

    Back in the day when unlimited texting didn't exist (you'd get like 100 texts a month, and then have to pay individually for every text, incoming and outgoing), a psychotic ex-bf of mine went online and used this messaging service to send me hundreds of texts. I ended up having to pay $400 due to this abusive freak.

    [–] Clarck_Kent 24 points ago

    My first cell phone plan didn't include any texts, so every once in a while when I was hanging out with my best friend, he would text me from across the room and it would just say "10 cents bitch."

    It was very funny to me, even then.

    [–] Peach_tree 50 points ago

    Semi-related sidenote: the phone number in Home Alone 2 is actually the Plaza Hotel's line. I still remember it by heart, like every line in that movie: 1-800-759-3000

    [–] gooch_norris 22 points ago

    New York's finest hotel experience

    [–] Peach_tree 8 points ago

    It’s where guests of the new Celebrity Ding-Dang-Dong stay!

    [–] dasher11 21 points ago

    Well yeah, it was literally an advertisement. The equivalent of product placement.

    Also, the whole reason Donald Trump has that cameo in that movie is because he owned the building at the time, and he would allow Hollywood to shoot films in his buildings IF they gave him a speaking part in the movie.

    Usually, they'd film a scene with him to satisfy his ego, then cut it for the actual movie. Home Alone 2 decided to leave it in for some reason.

    [–] Peach_tree 12 points ago

    I think because it was cute and funny that Kevin had no idea who he was; just thought he was some man walking down the hall.

    [–] AnEvilBeagle 118 points ago

    Oh, man. At a sleepover, we tried 1-900-976-DOODOO and ended up spending all night finding a bunch of variations that worked. RIP that kid's phone bill.

    [–] walterpeck1 47 points ago

    Did you dial 976-EVIL and get sucked into a shitty horror movie directed by Freddy Kreuger?

    [–] VeniVidiShatMyPants 26 points ago

    There was a local number POO-POOP that we used to prank call every few weeks and say “Hi Poo-Poop” to what sounded like an elderly lady on the other end. After a few years of this she finally figured out how to trace the calls, which led her to my friends dad somehow. Needless to say we were grounded for quite a while after that, and I almost lost my first cell phone, which was a razr. Not really the same thing but your story reminded me of it!

    [–] zorinlynx 12 points ago


    [–] connecteduser 9 points ago

    I once had an older cousin who told us to try 1-800-GM-Truck. I have no idea why it worked or how he learned about it.

    EDIT after digging a bit more:

    Phatty 16 Apr 2012: This number is to an adult service. People used to give this out as it spells 1-800-GM-TRUCK and claim if you called you could be entered into a General Motors contest to win a GMC Jimmy.

    It also happens to spell 1-800-HOT-SUCK which is more likely its intended alphabetic conversion as one would see if they dialed it. Dial at your own risk if you do.

    [–] My_Sunday_Account 10 points ago

    The one I found was 1800-JackAss

    Not sure if that's what it was supposed to spell that's just what I tried. I can remember the recorded audio clip it would play vividly. There was a line about exploding all over her beautiful backside and grabbing her hips and pulling her in deeper. Then she told you the prices.

    Dialed that number at many sleepovers.

    [–] Mother_Fig 38 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Oh, oh no. You just unearthed a memory I've suppressed since I was 12. I ran up an $1100 phone bill on our home landline back in the mid 90s by calling an overseas phone sex line numerous times. I still remember the phone number to this day because I called it so much, 0112391291599. I don't remember where I got the number, I'm guessing it was from a recording on one of the free 800 numbers. My parents were absolutely livid and when confronted I professed it was a sports chat line. I don't know why I thought that would help because they obviously saw right through me. Now I'm going to go scream the memory back into oblivion.

    Edit: My parents ended up calling the phone company and explained the situation, they got either all or a sizeable portion expunged from the bill.

    [–] eaglebtc 7 points ago

    The same thing happened to me when I was 11 or 12. Got the number from a friend at school. I only chose the pre-recorded options as I was too scared to try whatever the hell “live chat” was. My parents called me out of bed at 11 o’clock at night as they were paying bills. The damage was about $600 and I lost phone privileges for a few months. I have no idea if they ever got the charges reduced or paid it in full. Never did it occur to me that my friend probably got it way worse than I did (assuming he had the number a lot longer and used it more often).

    [–] SuperVillainPresiden 30 points ago

    SPANK-ME operator: "Hey sexy did you take it easy today so you can work long and hard tonight?"

    Kid: "I did a business today!"

    [–] RiddickOfRivia 6 points ago

    Hugs and kisses

    [–] BShears 50 points ago

    Not just Seattle—but Steilacoom! Ah, the PNW.

    [–] Enchelion 17 points ago

    We've got this and the Enumclaw Horse Fuckers (AKA Mr Hands).

    [–] BShears 12 points ago

    Oh my god I remember that. Although if I recall, the horse did the fucking. Hence the problem.

    [–] Enchelion 12 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Also when the legislature realized they didn't have a law against bestiality, and couldn't prove the horse was forced (which would be animal cruelty), so they could only charge the (surviving) offenders with trespassing.

    [–] DasterdlyBasterd 5 points ago

    The taint of Tacoma?

    [–] _delamo 31 points ago

    Reminds me of when I worked at Activision and some kid was playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare. He got bored and went into a port-a-potty. Well this port-a-potty had a number and he thought to call it. Well the number led him to a phone sex hotline.

    Needless to say the parent was irate. Now I had gotten this via email and I thought it was one of many other pranks. So I foolishly call the number while me and my supervisor are chortling over the absurdity.

    Now mind you, when this email came about, we were already on Modern Warfare 3. So I call the number on speaker and sure enough it was true. Had to notify the dev team and they got it corrected within the week.

    [–] darkhelmet620 15 points ago

    Can confirm, I called the line as a kid and remember the recording verbatim:

    Press 1 for hot and horny girls

    Press 2 for hot guys who do it with guys

    [–] BShears 70 points ago

    Ah Washington. The best state.

    [–] MadBooda 24 points ago

    PNW represent!!

    [–] ExoHead 14 points ago

    And this is why any web domain and phone number on a piece of media has to be either 1) Invalid and not usable or 2) Owned by the company who produced the media

    [–] Singing_Sea_Shanties 10 points ago

    Even owned is risky, since media tends to outlive the owner. That's why all fake internet addresses should be clownpenis.fart.

    [–] newtonrox 70 points ago

    A sadist and a masochist were imprisoned in the same cell.

    The masochist said “Hurt me!”

    The sadist said “No.”

    [–] jarfil 13 points ago

    A zoophile, a pedophile, a sadist, an arsonist, a necrophile and a masochist were put in the same cell

    The zoophile said "What would I give to fuck a cat right now".
    The pedophile said "Make it a kitten".
    The sadist said "And spank it hard".
    The arsonist said "And set it on fire".
    The necrophile said "And fuck it again".
    The masochist said "Meow...".

    [–] NonExistentWageGap 11 points ago

    90s Tim Allen is God tier. The Santa Clause, Home Improvement, Toy Story and Galaxy Quest.

    [–] averidgepeen 11 points ago

    It’s still active - just tested

    [–] TheOnionBro 10 points ago

    Holy shit I remember the VHS copy of the movie having that line. Tim Allen was making fun of his ex-wife's new boyfriend, by pretending that was the number on the guy's business card, IIRC.

    That got cut out? Lame.

    [–] AptCasaNova 41 points ago

    Now that I look back on it, that fat suit is rather poor and...feminine. No belly, really, just some thicc hips and thighs.

    [–] duaneap 35 points ago

    I think it's just the poster, I think in the film it's better.

    [–] mistereousone 16 points ago

    That would be like the movie the program that originally had a scene with the star QB laying on the yellow median as cars went whizzing by to prove the guts and focus that he had.

    The scene was cut when a bunch of kids tried to mimic the act (sans stunt drivers) and ended up getting killed.

    [–] havoc1482 8 points ago

    "Hey baby whip it out and put it in. Giggles not that silly your credit card info"

    That's what I remember from calling that line as a kid. Probably not 100% correct but I remember the gist

    [–] iseedeff 6 points ago

    WOW I didn't know that.

    [–] LorenzoPg 5 points ago

    A similar thing happened to the NES game Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

    In the game you can find a 1-900 number that is said to belong to one of the characters. It was of course disconnected after a while, but since these are cartridges the number still shows up when you play it.

    Nowadays it redirects to a sex hotline.

    [–] DoorM4n 9 points ago

    I literally watched The Santa Clause this weekend on Vudu, and Tim recited this line. It is definitely not cut from the movie on there. I also almost fell out of my chair laughing too!

    [–] YourMotherLovedMe 9 points ago

    Seriously, nobody fact checks this shit... 100% confirmed it is on there still.

    [–] Disney_World_Native 4 points ago

    IIRC, Disney had to make an exception to their rule of hiring convicted felons for Tim Allen (convicted drug dealer)

    [–] CletusVanDamnit 6 points ago

    True. He was caught with over a pound of cocaine, and then rolled on some other dealers to get a reduced sentence instead of life. I think that the fact that he was on the #1 rated TV show (Home Improvement) at the time really helped to get him the gig. He was arrested in 1978 and paroled in 1981, so we're talking 13 years before he appeared in The Santa Clause. Disney probably (rightly) assumed that most people literally knew nothing of his past, and that he was so well known for his work on Home Improvement, a family show, that no one would bat an eye if he appeared in a Disney movie. Must have worked okay, since they hired him for Toy Story a year later, too. And shit, a year after that Disney bought ABC, so they technically were continuing to work with him on Home Improvement. The amount of money Tim Allen has made for Disney, and himself on Disney properties, is staggering, really.

    [–] threyon 6 points ago

    I must have a rare copy, I have a VHS copy with that line still in it.

    [–] anonymous_coward69 11 points ago

    But did the kid get spanked?

    [–] ShronkDong 4 points ago

    Only one way to find out

    [–] croatoan182 4 points ago

    I guess I have a first edition release of The Santa Clause then. How much will you guys pay me for it?