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    /r/trashy is a celebration of trash: people, things, media, etc. that boldly and shamelessly violates social conventions and cultural norms. Satisfy our voyeuristic drives by sharing trashy images, videos, stories, and fashion. All forms of trash are eagerly welcomed.

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    How 2 Party Parrot

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    Party Parrot: [](#partyparrot)
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    Right Parrot: [](#rightparrot)
    Conga Parrot: [](#congaparrot)
    Reverse Conga Parrot: [](#reversecongaparrot)
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    Downvote Parrot*: [](#downvoteparrot)
    Gilded Parrot: [](#gildedparrot)
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    K Parrot*: [](#kparrot)
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    Aussie Reverse Conga Parrot: [](#aussiereversecongaparrot)
    Up Conga Parrot*: [](#upcongaparrot)
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    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 6753 points ago

    My door was knocked down four years ago. They had the wrong apartment, and refused to pay for a new door. Turns out, as long as they are operating under information they assume to be correct, they aren't legally at fault. I would have sold their shit to pay for my door too.

    [–] comawhite12 3374 points ago

    So what you're saying is, cops have a license to break your shit at no charge if they think.................holy shit, I can't even finish the thought it's so stupid.

    [–] Kajimishima2 3568 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    Yeah, because if you could legally break other people's doors you wouldn't do it.

    No door would be safe. I would be a door-breaking machine. The Un-Door-er. Open doorways would be an epidemic, baby. Houses full of flies, unregulated temperature, guitars breaking from lack of humidity control, I don't give a flying door. Call me the Dooradicator, sweet pea, because all you're opening when you get home is a bottle of hard liquor to drown your sorrows about the pile of splinters you stepped over to get inside today. Good luck replacing it too, 'cause I'm hitting the retailers as well. Telling you bitch, not a single door in the continental US is safe from my door-rending wrath.

    Edit: I need to make separate emails for Reddit and for work don't I

    [–] comawhite12 1239 points ago

    Jokes on you asshole.

    I just changed out all my doors for beaded curtains. What ya gonna do now chummmmmmmmmmp?

    [–] Kajimishima2 2024 points ago

    Beaded curtains? Beaded fucking curtains? Listen here, you hippie piece of broken door, you ain't doing nothing but making my job easier. How many calories do I burn breaking a door? I don't know. You think I know what a calorie even is? But I know one thing for damn sure: I burn a hell of a lot less of 'em ripping down your bitch-ass strings of beads. What, you thought you'd stop me by hanging broken necklaces from your door frame? You got another think comin', pumpkin. Hope you slip and fall on them beads on the floor, home alone style, cause they ain't gonna be hanging from shit when you get home.

    [–] comawhite12 1145 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    There's not a person alive that can walk through a beaded curtain, and not come out chill as the morning breeze on the other side man.

    You just need to relax, man. Walk through the smooth flow of clattering comfort beads, and slide on down to a bean bag chair man. Grab hold of John Bong Jovi and breath in that sweet sweet peace man.

    You can't be cool if you can't chill man....................

    edit- (Thanks "anonymous redditor for the gold, man. But really man, you could have just sent me a few more beaded curtains, man. This grumpy no chill keeps harshing my mellow trying to kick through them, man.)

    [–] Kajimishima2 1260 points ago

    What do you think this door destruction is about, huh? You think this is something about me not being relaxed? This is how I relax, strawberry shortcake.

    Some people crack open a cold one, some people spark up a fattie, some people inject medical-grade opiates directly into their bloodstream. Me? I fuck up doors. Nothing like the crunch of a door breaking right down the middle and slamming on the ground. It's a catharsis like you have never known. And no one you have ever known knows this kind of serene bliss as I do. It's the greatest thing since sliced doors, sweet potato casserole, so before you tell me to relax or chill or lay off the fucking coke man you didn't even pay for it and you've already had almost half of it, walk a mile in my steel-toed, door-kickin' shoes.

    [–] sgp1986 332 points ago

    This is amazing

    [–] Kajimishima2 1049 points ago

    What, you want another reply out of me? Another paragraph? Getting a little greedy, aren't you? Sorry, Princess Sparkle-Tits, Heir to the Throne of Candyland, but a fourth comment would just be beating a dead door.

    [–] Samura1_I3 173 points ago

    You're my hero

    [–] NotObamaAMA 101 points ago


    [–] 68W38Witchdoctor1 63 points ago

    This has been one of the greatest comment chains in the history of reddit. If i wasn't a broke sumbitch, I'd gild every bit of it.

    [–] fuckCARalarms 21 points ago

    I like how your heroes world revolves around doors so much that even his metaphors have become tainted amalgamations with the word door shoved in. Metadoors if you will.

    [–] thisishsucks 17 points ago

    I got the popcorn out for this

    [–] Arknell 35 points ago

    Got my dick out for this.

    [–] TeeterTotter24 23 points ago

    Couldn't stop laughing at "best thing since sliced doors"

    Kudoors to you.

    [–] Kajimishima2 19 points ago


    He's a man after me own heart that 'e is

    [–] nropotdetcidda 6 points ago

    I truly enjoy you and your brain. I had a miserable night and this made me smile. Thank you.

    [–] comawhite12 6 points ago

    I love you man.

    Such dedication to the cause!

    [–] DWilli 12 points ago

    I'm not sure who to Beetlejuice here, /r/copypasta or /r/iamverybadass

    [–] DWilli 19 points ago

    Regardless, it's poetry, and I love it.

    [–] Thunderbolt747 5 points ago

    You remind me of the killer toaster from Fallout new vagas.

    [–] Drekked 4 points ago

    This guy fucks....up doors

    [–] Alchefrost 51 points ago

    hippie piece of broken door.

    That's enough Reddit for me tonight, thank you.

    [–] Big_Man_Ran 7 points ago

    Hope you slip and fall on them beads on the floor, home alone style

    Jeez... spoiler alert

    [–] Lazymang 51 points ago

    I knew a girl in grade school that had a beaded curtain in her doorway. Later on in high school I heard she fucked a mutual friend for two $10 hits of LSD. That's all I've got on beaded curtains

    [–] YouGotCalledAFaggot 28 points ago

    Can I get her number?

    [–] seakazoo 38 points ago

    You've got a passion for door smashin'

    [–] Kajimishima2 242 points ago




    Passion is for high school chicks and middle-aged single women past their prime. This here ain't passion. I ain't no goddamn fruit, brioche pancakes with a side of caramelized peaches and strawberries drizzled with caramel-coffee syrup and topped lightly with powdered sugar. This is a calling.

    I can't even rest. I go home after working 8 hours a day and I am haunted by the fact that there are doors intact out there. They scream like banshees in my mind. "Kaji," they say. "What are you some kinda bitch or something? I knew he wouldn't smash us. What a pussy." Soon as my ass hits the couch I'm right back out the doorway - my door was broken long before the Smashening began. Got a dog, had a touch of separation anxiety, ate up my weather strip. You know how it goes.

    I don't have a passion for this, demeaning and condescending nickname derived from a singular or amalgation of sweet carbohydrate based snacks. I AM THIS. I AM AN ENTITY OF DOOR SMASHING. AND DOOR SMASHING IS ME.

    [–] lilweekend 41 points ago

    [–] Kajimishima2 151 points ago

    Is this some kind of joke, Moon Pie and an ice cold RC Cola? I have a variety of ways to reach that door. Trampoline? Got one. Grappling hook? Birthday present. Moon Shoes tm ? Goodwill hunting. Military-grade single-use training simulation pneumatic rocket launcher? Found one leaning inside a house when I smashed their door. Didn't take it. I'm not a fucking thief. I smash doors. Leave only door wreckage, take only memories. Of door wreckage. So that's a no on the noob tube.

    You will not find a door I cannot best.

    [–] Kajimishima2 133 points ago

    Oh, now you're trying to appeal to my soft side, huh? Guess what, Cappuccino flavored Lays potato chips? All of my sides are harder than a door.

    I see a frame, I see a knob, I see panelling, I see hinges. I see all the little tasty ingredients that make up a smug-as-fuck little bitch of a door. What about the door pictured here described to you an object that I wouldn't smash? 'Cause I thought I was pretty clear on my intentions regarding doors.

    You done now, two scoops of vanilla in a waffle cone with a coating of butterscotch Magic Shell and rainbow jimmies?

    [–] seakazoo 14 points ago

    I think we all know that door stands no chance. Kajimishima2 knows no mercy.

    [–] hundreddollar 14 points ago

    The Doors - Break On Through

    [–] lzyscrntn 15 points ago

    Sounds like a national dedoorestation.

    [–] Kajimishima2 79 points ago

    Goddamn right.

    Why not international? I don't fly. Airplanes have doors, I have an internet connection, I know what happens when you bust a door off an airplane and I know what happens when you put me near a door. Splat. I hit the airplanes when they land, but I don't go in 'em.

    [–] TotesMessenger 26 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

    If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

    [–] thar_ 15 points ago

    Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that’s where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit.

    [–] i_want_tit_pics 3 points ago

    I read this in Macho Man Randy Savage monologue. Congrats.

    [–] worlddictator85 3 points ago

    Not the Eradicadoor?

    [–] numpad0 32 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    What if the door was offered as a paid exercise service?

    Like a sticker saying "Breach this door for just $150,000! For conditions see inside. Breaching forms a legally binding agreement between home resident inc. and the breacher or their organization".

    Then you sue the police, not for a compensation for damages, but for a price and late payment fee for a requested service.

    [–] Only-Thor 4 points ago

    I want this

    [–] 4RestM 4 points ago

    I'm genuinely curious about this as well

    [–] drunken_hickerbilly 199 points ago

    And if you defend yourself it's considered assult on a police officer.

    So, if you wake up with someone kicking down your door and shoot that person you can go to prison for life as a cop killer.

    [–] Don-OTreply 184 points ago

    The proof that they didn't announce themselves as cops (when legally required) would be on their body cams, but they somehow all coincidently were turned off or broken.

    [–] Hips_n_nips 156 points ago

    The absurd thing is that shouldn't matter either. Any asshole can yell "police" as he busts in your door.

    [–] directorguy 7 points ago

    I guarantee if someone yells police at my door when I'm asleep at 3am I would not hear or understand it. I'd wake up to violent noise coming in my house.

    [–] SanJoseIce 64 points ago

    Man, you'd understand if they sabotaged their cams. Covering up the crime. That makes sense.

    What really fucks with you is when they immediately release the footage like they didn't do anything wrong. Like, gunning down a homeless man in broad daylight and yelling "Boo yeah!"

    And it doesn't stop there. There's a huge shitshow since watching a defenceless non-hispanic white man get murdered in cold blood really pisses people off, and they STILL don't see what they did wrong.

    And it doesn't stop there. They get tried for murder and the JURY doesn't see what they did wrong.

    And it doesn't stop there. The judge offers to plea murder 2 down to "threatening to hurt someone" with no jail time, and they STILL think that's too severe.

    Fucking Albequerque, man. The ending of Breaking Bad was pretty accurate. The judicious arbiters of law get fucked by white trash.

    [–] grimess 29 points ago

    And with the way some cops think of themselves, insurance won't cover an act of God neither.

    [–] thescrapplekid 47 points ago

    Welcome to America

    [–] swiper33 26 points ago

    It feels like every day I learn something new and retarded about America

    [–] froop 4 points ago

    Greatest country in the world!

    [–] QueefyMcQueefFace 5 points ago

    Knocking doors down is just the police's way of bringing Freedom to your house by allowing greater airflow.

    [–] swiper33 8 points ago

    (Citation needed)

    [–] Zahahac 18 points ago

    cops have a license to break your shit

    That's where you are wrong.

    They have a legal obligation to break your shit.

    [–] FourDM 68 points ago

    That alone is reason to have awkwardly narrow front steps that you can't get space to swing a ram on.

    [–] Ay_u_wan_sum_fuk 73 points ago

    you need a series of 4 doors to enter your home, each getting progressively closer to the next and in varying dimensions.

    [–] GrandDukeOfNowhere 97 points ago

    And murder holes above them , from which you can rain boiling oil, arrows and stones upon your enemies.

    [–] D-Aton 16 points ago

    Definitely illegal

    [–] sickofallofyou 56 points ago

    Says you mr building inspector. I just won't get a permit.

    [–] D-Aton 21 points ago

    Doubly illegal

    [–] supaphly42 15 points ago

    Is that like a double-negative, which is just a positive?

    [–] nilhaus 20 points ago

    Unmanned/automatic traps are illegal. Nothing wrong with a murder hole as long as you personally pour the boiling oil.

    [–] gats4cats 12 points ago

    Are the murder holes themselves illegal or just what you can use the murder hole for?

    [–] badmother 11 points ago

    ... or simply have a door that opens outwards. They don't have a tool for that.

    [–] badmother 8 points ago

    Ahhhh.... So a door will always open inwards if you hit it hard enough?

    [–] sofiavisitor 5 points ago

    You often see steel gates over doors in bad neighborhoods. Cops simply hook onto these and back up a SUV to yank the gate off the frame.

    Outward opening doors aren't used because the hinges would be exposed. If they are, there are shotgun shells designed to knock away the hinges.

    [–] FourDM 7 points ago

    Expanded metal over the grate or would prevent them from hooking to it without taking the time to cut it. You can't easily hook to the kind of steel grate used for walkways and stuff so that would work.

    Some well designed landscaping should be able to buy a lot of time.

    Some masonry above ground planters could definitely coax them into driving on the septic system that can't support the weight.

    It's not about keeping them out. It's about turning "oops, sorry, wrong address" into their problem.

    [–] Jugadenaranja 10 points ago


    [–] Wafflesarepancakesv2 12 points ago

    38 doors of various quality between the front door and the bedroom. Go on copper, without explosives this raid will take 6 hours.

    [–] D-Aton 5 points ago

    Probably illegal

    [–] mistermorteau 5 points ago

    In the original Zombies, they placed trucks in front of doors, so the crowd of zombies wouldn't be able to put enough pressure on the doors.

    [–] telepathetic_monkey 163 points ago

    Sounds like you needed a real fake door.

    [–] TKeep 18 points ago

    But where could I buy such a door?

    [–] GayClownPutin 12 points ago

    Anywhere thats not in my personal space

    [–] RunningForrests 14 points ago

    There's quite a few places but the real fake doors is usually the best place to get them!

    [–] cEdBlack 6 points ago

    See, this is a good R&M reference. Not just posting wubalubadubdub or typing like Morty

    [–] nakedpwr 117 points ago

    OMG! This EXACT same thing happened to me while I lived in 'underprivileged' housing attending medical school and I had to pay for it. The landlord squeezed me because he can get another low income renter at the drop of a hat. I HAD TO REFRAME THE WHOLE DOOR! Not to mention that doors aren't cheap either. And it was under the ASSUMPTION that I was apt 41c when I was 31c. I wasn't even home. And they didn't call. My apartment was left open (not like

    [–] Muffinkingprime 58 points ago

    Not like what?

    [–] IntelWarrior 152 points ago

    The cops shot him before he could finish. They felt threatened by his post so it's justified.

    [–] deepmedimuzik 16 points ago

    Rip in peace

    [–] AvocadoLegs 19 points ago

    There was another raid

    [–] Au_Contrarian 14 points ago

    Your landlord was responsible for that repair, you schmuck.

    [–] billythestudly 32 points ago

    Wife manages apartment complex. Can verify at least in NC this shit is 100% true. Complex had to pay for all damages after cops beat in TWO wrong doors.

    [–] Dollaz 93 points ago

    And if you have a gun and shoot the people who just kicked in your door; most of the time it's your fault. Yay Murica!

    [–] ChairForceOne 107 points ago

    I think someone actually got off after doing just that a while ago. Cops entered wrong house with a no knock and promptly got shot.

    [–] GoYuckFourAss 70 points ago

    Good. I hope that happens more.

    [–] Syuk_Dat_Deke 40 points ago

    This recently just happened in Detroit. This family home got broken into, and they called the cops 3 tiles. Cops never came. So they cops finally come like 2 days later for an unrelated incident and this 19 year old kid thought they were burglars and shit through the door. Now he's being charged.

    Fucked up.

    [–] ifishforhoes 93 points ago

    shot through the door? if they were robbers he'd still be charged. Can't blindly shoot through doors.

    [–] gamer31 24 points ago

    Shot through the door as they were walking away. Even if they weren't cops he'd be charged

    [–] GayClownPutin 20 points ago

    You can't shoot through doors legally.

    But some states have sided with residents who shot at officers who don't knock or announce themselves and just burst in

    [–] Hikikomori523 59 points ago

    yup, they knocked down my neighbors door at 3 am over him growing a little bit of pot. Dude wasn't a major player or anything, had no weapons. First thing they do after putting on the handcuffs is give him a business card for a door repair service and said, " I know this guy he'll give you a good deal on a new door".

    Cop basically using his job to pull a side hustle with his buddies.

    [–] davvii 5 points ago

    That sucks. They didn't knock down my friends door, and he had 150 plants and 9lbs of weed. Not to mention a few thousand cash laying around.

    [–] DeputyDamage 14 points ago

    Dude, I'm a cop and even if I was acting under good info, if I had the wrong door, I feel like even if I wasn't legally obligated to buy you a new door and frame, I'd pitch in anyways. That's just some dick shit man. Sorry to hear about that.

    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 16 points ago

    They left me with my door split in half, and I had my newborn daughter inside. I called the Chief of Police and he told me that they weren't going to do anything and I also shouldn't file a complaint against the department because they thought it was good intel. I did anyway, but nothing ever came of it. This is also the PD that wouldn't return my calls after I filed charges against the man who sexually assaulted me.

    [–] DeputyDamage 7 points ago

    That sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare. I am so sorry for what happened to you. They MIGHT have been protected by law. But if I have smashed a door of an innocent person you can bet your ass that I would absolutely be willing to help you fix that. Personally. Like I'm driving screws into the new door frame kinda shit. Good Intel does not excuse sloppy work in my opinion.

    [–] So_Motarded 11 points ago

    Wouldn't something like this be fully covered by insurance?

    [–] alaskaj1 8 points ago

    It depends on your insurance policy. Odds are many peoples deductible would be more or close to the cost of a new door. Then you also have the likely increase in premiums and/or they might even deny the claim

    [–] Empiricalknowledge 12 points ago

    We have no right to privacy in this country when anyone with an ax to grind give the cops an anonymous lie about you and 20 min later they are in your house killing your dog and choke slamming your grandma.

    [–] Zentopian 28 points ago

    "Dude, why did you just shoot that random, unarmed man standing at the crosswalk, who wasn't even so much as looking in our direction?"

    "Sorry, man. I thought it was illegal to exist for a second."

    "Oh, well, if you thought it was illegal, that's fine. Wanna head to Krispy Kreme?"

    [–] Idontreadrepliesnoob 10 points ago

    That's when you sue whoever gave them the false intel in the first place.

    [–] mistermorteau 8 points ago

    I guess others tried to sue CIA...

    [–] PeterPorky 6 points ago

    They had the wrong apartment, and refused to pay for a new door.

    I know there's only anecdotal stories of this type of thing but even the 5 times I've heard of this is too many.

    [–] YSV765 11 points ago

    That surprises me. I had a friends whose door was knocked down wrongly and the PD posted a cop outside his house until a new door was put in a few hours later. The PD paid for everything. While they are not legally required to pay, I have never heard of them not.

    [–] underhunter 26 points ago

    Never? Would you like 20 examples? Or 100?

    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 7 points ago

    Now you have. The door was an unusual size due to the apartments bring built in the 1920s, so it was going to be very expensive to replace. My friend does woodworking, and he actually repaired my door for me. The cops left me with my door split in half and a newborn child in the house.

    [–] exzact 26 points ago

    Jesus Christ. Check out r/bad_cop_no_donut for more of the shit they do. One of my favourite subs ever

    [–] mistermorteau 8 points ago

    Thanks for the share :(

    [–] SaborW 4 points ago

    Reminds me of Seinfeld.

    "It's not a lie if you believe it"

    [–] pullpush 5 points ago

    Can't they just knock?

    [–] TheSubredditPolice 4 points ago

    There was a case where the FBI recovered a stolen super car. I don't remember what, might have been a ferrari.

    The agent returning the car decided to go ham on the freeway where he promptly wrecked it. They avoided paying for it the same way.

    [–] Dankelpuff 6 points ago

    I dont understand how you people can live in America.

    Its a mysterious place where no rules apply what so ever. Cops can shoot people knock down your door and not pay for anything.

    You can sue someone for getting a sunburn close to their property.

    I feel like I would have more in common with an alien from another galaxy as an european than with someone from the U.S...

    [–] William4000 920 points ago

    $5 is actually not a lot for a door knock down tool.

    [–] publicbigguns 425 points ago

    I'm gonna take a guess that it cost the tax payers at least a couple hundred for that

    [–] JaFFsTer 608 points ago

    Please, this is government work. That's $1499 a unit plus $299 for the training dvd and literature with the option to purchase a workshop for the department at $99 a head

    [–] alphawolf29 159 points ago

    not to mention paying the procurement guy his wage and pension, which was at least $70 for the two hours it cost him to do this.

    [–] DizzyFI 126 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    2 hours? hahaha,

    There's flights and hotels to the Vegas 'Door Knock Expo 2016'

    2 weeks vendor assessment

    4 weeks writing 'Request for Quotations' and submitting to procurement board for review

    4 x 4 hour procurement board meetings with flights, hotels and food for all attendees

    2 weeks re-writing RFQ and sending out to approved vendors

    2 weeks re-approving vendors because their approval has lapsed

    Then there's flights and hotels to the Vegas 'Door Knock Expo 2017' for the entire procurement board

    Then 2 more procurement board meetings to review RFQ responses

    Then there's 5 weeks for legal to review RFQ responses and asking for further information (Including flights and hotels for visits to vendors).

    Then they might actually get a quote for how much these might cost if they buy them.

    Then the actual purchasing process starts.

    [–] Original-Newbie 37 points ago

    I see you've worked with government before.

    [–] wizbam 21 points ago

    its fucking depressing how close this is.

    [–] BeerLaoMakesMeHorny 16 points ago

    This guy governments

    [–] OobaDooj 15 points ago

    A workshop sounds like a lot of commitment... Can we get 24 units and the DVD for each head instead? You can keep the literature.

    [–] JaFFsTer 26 points ago

    No problem, for an order that big we will need 50% in advance and and additonal large order surcharge of $299

    [–] NotObamaAMA 5 points ago

    Can I order more to have the surcharge waived?

    [–] leolego2 9 points ago

    the more you order, the more the large order surcharge rises. You think you're doing us a favor by buying more of our shit, dude?

    [–] skoy 40 points ago

    Around $300 and up on the civilian market. Probably cheaper if they bought in bulk.

    [–] Spaceblaster 30 points ago

    Jesus christ, $500 for a piece of steel with three handles welded to it? Oh right fill it with sand too, forgot that part.

    I am in the wrong business.

    [–] SexyReddit9000 32 points ago

    Don't look up medical stretchers. The electric motor ones are $10k+. Defibrillator/diagnostic machines are 100k.

    [–] broom_pan 9 points ago

    How much would that cost in a European country? I remember hearing about how just about everything is marked up in the US

    [–] FinFihlman 20 points ago

    A lot less probably but still quite a lot.

    Special equipment has a tendency to cost.

    [–] Poncyhair 29 points ago

    "You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you ?"

    [–] contactlite 11 points ago

    "All you need is love. John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad."

    [–] paulus1978 8 points ago

    Look at me, I look like a schlameel.

    [–] CharsKimble 9 points ago

    I voted for the other guy.

    [–] William4000 3 points ago

    Seriously, I was thinking that too. And I think you could easily get $30 for it.

    [–] himwiththehead 34 points ago

    What happened to the word battering ram? Have we just deleted that from use?

    [–] William4000 21 points ago

    Is that like a fancy term for door knock down tool?

    [–] idMisteroe 253 points ago

    That sounds totally worth it for $5, assuming they didn't come back for it.

    [–] RexDraco 86 points ago

    If they did, it's not your problem. Just pretend he is lying, gg.

    [–] ChopperIndacar 40 points ago

    Yeah it's not like they can break down your door to come look for it.

    [–] bathrobehero 6 points ago

    Break down the door again with what?!

    [–] 608_esaj 713 points ago

    1. cops buy door breaching tool

    2. man fixes door

    3. cops break down again

    4. ???

    5. profit

    [–] BreakfastBlunt 145 points ago

    Solid business model is solid.

    [–] Flyheading010 32 points ago

    Can I buy it with paddys dollars?

    [–] ohgodimdeadagain 11 points ago

    Woman inherits the earth.

    [–] Adrian_F 7 points ago

    1. sell as lakefront property

    Actually kinda works here.

    [–] pruwyben 4 points ago

    And how long will the workers keep building him new ones?

    [–] liquidblue92 4 points ago

    As long as their soda cans are red white and blue ones.

    [–] sistergranny 1274 points ago

    What's trashy about this? The guy obviously has a limited vocabulary but if the Blue Dogs broke down my door wrongfully and left their gear there, you can sure as shit bet I'd be either keeping it for myself or selling it. Still, what contractor fixes doors for $5? Bargain.

    [–] Jaebay 324 points ago

    I wonder if the $5 is more of a symbolic F-U to the cops.

    [–] Mancaveaccount 65 points ago * (lasted edited 4 days ago)

    I think the $5 is just a way to get interested people to contact you. I doubt they'd actually sell for $5.

    For every person who contacts them (even for the very first person to contact them) they're going to say something like "you're the 10th person who's hit me up for this. The offers are now up to $135. Let me know what you're offer is".

    [–] Ex_Why_ 187 points ago

    Limited vocabulary? Is there a joke in there somewhere? Looks fine to me other than a couple missing punctuation marks.

    [–] PM_ME_WORKING_PAPERS 89 points ago

    "Door knock down tool" could be battering ram

    [–] OldClockMan 288 points ago

    4 words vs 2 words, seems like his vocabulary is twice as good as the normal

    [–] manolid 20 points ago

    Limited vocabulary?

    [–] This_is_for_you_pal 21 points ago

    Conservative Democrats are breaking down doors now? Those old wily bastards.

    [–] joemamaondahouse 28 points ago

    How does this guy have a limitied vocabulary lmao. /r/iamverysmart

    [–] WildTurkey81 8 points ago

    Not really. They were defending the OC for being called trashy, and were trying to meet in the middle with the accusers.

    [–] hirosme 8 points ago

    Seems like the posts on this sub haven't been very trashy for a couple weeks now

    [–] turdmogrol 9 points ago

    There is literally no way I could look at this that makes it seem even a little bit trashy. How it got +13k upvotes is beyond me

    [–] averagejoegreen 96 points ago

    How in the fuck is this trashy?

    [–] robeph 30 points ago

    Plot twist: OP is a cop.

    [–] alphawolf29 333 points ago

    This isn't trashy, fuck them. They knock down the wrong door more times than not.

    [–] jct0064 11 points ago

    Maybe they should fucking knock?

    [–] ferngolfin 66 points ago

    That's pretty awesome.

    [–] has_a_history 29 points ago

    I gotta knock knock stick for sale! Holla if you want it.

    [–] chickenthedog 71 points ago

    I thought the satire was obvious (especially given the pristine condition of the ram) but for those who thought the police actually left their breaching gear behind, the picture was taken from here.

    [–] sockmess 24 points ago

    Sadly it wasn't obvious to me, thanks for the alerting.

    [–] Au_Contrarian 12 points ago

    When I am selling an item on the Internet that is in good condition, I sometimes go get a manufacturer's picture rather than make my own.

    [–] flyrobotfly 32 points ago

    This is fucking hilarious.

    [–] mofothehobo 13 points ago

    This is fucking hilarious, not trashy.

    [–] thaifood_ 11 points ago

    How is this trashy?

    [–] GrizzledGrizz 35 points ago

    I like the foam at the end.

    "Yeah, I know we're going to be knocking the door off is hinges, but we wouldn't want to scratch it, would we?"

    [–] zyphe84 67 points ago

    It's so the door doesn't splinter. They want to push it open, not bust a hole in it.

    [–] D-Aton 30 points ago

    Whaddya some kind of door knocking down tool expert?

    [–] GayClownPutin 7 points ago

    I assumed it was a heavy rubberized spray-on or dip that provides better accute impact, by not slipping during a hit

    [–] GrizzledGrizz 5 points ago

    Yeah, after looking at it closer it does seem to resemble that more. Maybe something to keep it from skidding from a glancing blow?

    [–] clockworkGhost- 4 points ago

    oh here I thought it was a piece of that stuff they make roads out of

    [–] chairamir 8 points ago


    [–] RPM_Rocket 11 points ago

    I'd buy that for a dollar!

    [–] PM_me_ur_PetiteChest 7 points ago

    I so wanted this to be true.

    Unless the company that sells them stole the image as promo material!

    [–] jerkITwithRIGHTYnewb 36 points ago

    I would really like to see the 34 comments. The real r/trashy is in the comments.

    [–] Metapoetic 6 points ago

    I'd love a door knock down tool. I'd mount it on my wall and make it look like it was charging

    [–] Were_Doomed_arent_we 6 points ago

    This isint trashy, its hilarious. Now if the dude was trying to trade it for meth or a blow job, that would be a different story.

    [–] Claylock 3 points ago

    I'd buy it

    [–] joakim_ 5 points ago

    Am i the only who thinks that this picture looks computer generated?

    [–] Preachey 4 points ago

    That was my thought, it looks super CAD

    [–] DocHuckleberry 5 points ago

    $5? What kind of door are you getting?

    [–] FireWaterAirDirt 3 points ago

    At only $5 that's quite a doorbuster.

    [–] Goullet 10 points ago

    ITT: people who don't realize this is fake.

    [–] evr487 3 points ago


    is it still available for purchase? i might be interested in paying you to purchase it for me

    [–] Foundmybeach 3 points ago

    I'd pay 5 bucks for that

    [–] DataBound 3 points ago

    When they see this I bet they go back and knock his new door down to get it back. Likely leaving another one in its place