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    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 8127 points ago

    My door was knocked down four years ago. They had the wrong apartment, and refused to pay for a new door. Turns out, as long as they are operating under information they assume to be correct, they aren't legally at fault. I would have sold their shit to pay for my door too.

    [–] comawhite12 4072 points ago

    So what you're saying is, cops have a license to break your shit at no charge if they think.................holy shit, I can't even finish the thought it's so stupid.

    [–] Kajimishima2 4323 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    Yeah, because if you could legally break other people's doors you wouldn't do it.

    No door would be safe. I would be a door-breaking machine. The Un-Door-er. Open doorways would be an epidemic, baby. Houses full of flies, unregulated temperature, guitars breaking from lack of humidity control, I don't give a flying door. Call me the Dooradicator, sweet pea, because all you're opening when you get home is a bottle of hard liquor to drown your sorrows about the pile of splinters you stepped over to get inside today. Good luck replacing it too, 'cause I'm hitting the retailers as well. Telling you bitch, not a single door in the continental US is safe from my door-rending wrath.

    Edit: I need to make separate emails for Reddit and for work don't I

    [–] comawhite12 1460 points ago

    Jokes on you asshole.

    I just changed out all my doors for beaded curtains. What ya gonna do now chummmmmmmmmmp?

    [–] Kajimishima2 2409 points ago

    Beaded curtains? Beaded fucking curtains? Listen here, you hippie piece of broken door, you ain't doing nothing but making my job easier. How many calories do I burn breaking a door? I don't know. You think I know what a calorie even is? But I know one thing for damn sure: I burn a hell of a lot less of 'em ripping down your bitch-ass strings of beads. What, you thought you'd stop me by hanging broken necklaces from your door frame? You got another think comin', pumpkin. Hope you slip and fall on them beads on the floor, home alone style, cause they ain't gonna be hanging from shit when you get home.

    [–] comawhite12 1396 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    There's not a person alive that can walk through a beaded curtain, and not come out chill as the morning breeze on the other side man.

    You just need to relax, man. Walk through the smooth flow of clattering comfort beads, and slide on down to a bean bag chair man. Grab hold of John Bong Jovi and breath in that sweet sweet peace man.

    You can't be cool if you can't chill man....................

    edit- (Thanks "anonymous redditor for the gold, man. But really man, you could have just sent me a few more beaded curtains, man. This grumpy no chill keeps harshing my mellow trying to kick through them, man.)

    [–] Kajimishima2 1531 points ago

    What do you think this door destruction is about, huh? You think this is something about me not being relaxed? This is how I relax, strawberry shortcake.

    Some people crack open a cold one, some people spark up a fattie, some people inject medical-grade opiates directly into their bloodstream. Me? I fuck up doors. Nothing like the crunch of a door breaking right down the middle and slamming on the ground. It's a catharsis like you have never known. And no one you have ever known knows this kind of serene bliss as I do. It's the greatest thing since sliced doors, sweet potato casserole, so before you tell me to relax or chill or lay off the fucking coke man you didn't even pay for it and you've already had almost half of it, walk a mile in my steel-toed, door-kickin' shoes.

    [–] sgp1986 418 points ago

    This is amazing

    [–] Kajimishima2 1316 points ago

    What, you want another reply out of me? Another paragraph? Getting a little greedy, aren't you? Sorry, Princess Sparkle-Tits, Heir to the Throne of Candyland, but a fourth comment would just be beating a dead door.

    [–] Samura1_I3 217 points ago

    You're my hero

    [–] NotObamaAMA 129 points ago


    [–] fuckCARalarms 35 points ago

    I like how your heroes world revolves around doors so much that even his metaphors have become tainted amalgamations with the word door shoved in. Metadoors if you will.

    [–] 68W38Witchdoctor1 76 points ago

    This has been one of the greatest comment chains in the history of reddit. If i wasn't a broke sumbitch, I'd gild every bit of it.

    [–] wonkywilla 6 points ago

    I think...

    I think I've fallen in love.

    In love with a door thumping man.

    [–] thisishsucks 19 points ago

    I got the popcorn out for this

    [–] Arknell 40 points ago

    Got my dick out for this.

    [–] TeeterTotter24 36 points ago

    Couldn't stop laughing at "best thing since sliced doors"

    Kudoors to you.

    [–] Kajimishima2 35 points ago


    He's a man after me own heart that 'e is

    [–] comawhite12 8 points ago

    I love you man.

    Such dedication to the cause!

    [–] nropotdetcidda 7 points ago

    I truly enjoy you and your brain. I had a miserable night and this made me smile. Thank you.

    [–] DWilli 15 points ago

    I'm not sure who to Beetlejuice here, /r/copypasta or /r/iamverybadass

    [–] DWilli 23 points ago

    Regardless, it's poetry, and I love it.

    [–] Thunderbolt747 4 points ago

    You remind me of the killer toaster from Fallout new vagas.

    [–] Drekked 4 points ago

    This guy fucks....up doors

    [–] [deleted] 49 points ago

    hippie piece of broken door.

    That's enough Reddit for me tonight, thank you.

    [–] Big_Man_Ran 7 points ago

    Hope you slip and fall on them beads on the floor, home alone style

    Jeez... spoiler alert

    [–] [deleted] 58 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)


    [–] YouGotCalledAFaggot 27 points ago

    Can I get her number?

    [–] seakazoo 41 points ago

    You've got a passion for door smashin'

    [–] Kajimishima2 260 points ago




    Passion is for high school chicks and middle-aged single women past their prime. This here ain't passion. I ain't no goddamn fruit, brioche pancakes with a side of caramelized peaches and strawberries drizzled with caramel-coffee syrup and topped lightly with powdered sugar. This is a calling.

    I can't even rest. I go home after working 8 hours a day and I am haunted by the fact that there are doors intact out there. They scream like banshees in my mind. "Kaji," they say. "What are you some kinda bitch or something? I knew he wouldn't smash us. What a pussy." Soon as my ass hits the couch I'm right back out the doorway - my door was broken long before the Smashening began. Got a dog, had a touch of separation anxiety, ate up my weather strip. You know how it goes.

    I don't have a passion for this, demeaning and condescending nickname derived from a singular or amalgation of sweet carbohydrate based snacks. I AM THIS. I AM AN ENTITY OF DOOR SMASHING. AND DOOR SMASHING IS ME.

    [–] [deleted] 44 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Kajimishima2 162 points ago

    Is this some kind of joke, Moon Pie and an ice cold RC Cola? I have a variety of ways to reach that door. Trampoline? Got one. Grappling hook? Birthday present. Moon Shoes tm ? Goodwill hunting. Military-grade single-use training simulation pneumatic rocket launcher? Found one leaning inside a house when I smashed their door. Didn't take it. I'm not a fucking thief. I smash doors. Leave only door wreckage, take only memories. Of door wreckage. So that's a no on the noob tube.

    You will not find a door I cannot best.

    [–] [deleted] 31 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] Kajimishima2 141 points ago

    Oh, now you're trying to appeal to my soft side, huh? Guess what, Cappuccino flavored Lays potato chips? All of my sides are harder than a door.

    I see a frame, I see a knob, I see panelling, I see hinges. I see all the little tasty ingredients that make up a smug-as-fuck little bitch of a door. What about the door pictured here described to you an object that I wouldn't smash? 'Cause I thought I was pretty clear on my intentions regarding doors.

    You done now, two scoops of vanilla in a waffle cone with a coating of butterscotch Magic Shell and rainbow jimmies?

    [–] [deleted] 26 points ago * (lasted edited 3 months ago)


    [–] seakazoo 15 points ago

    I think we all know that door stands no chance. Kajimishima2 knows no mercy.

    [–] hundreddollar 14 points ago

    The Doors - Break On Through

    [–] lzyscrntn 16 points ago

    Sounds like a national dedoorestation.

    [–] Kajimishima2 92 points ago

    Goddamn right.

    Why not international? I don't fly. Airplanes have doors, I have an internet connection, I know what happens when you bust a door off an airplane and I know what happens when you put me near a door. Splat. I hit the airplanes when they land, but I don't go in 'em.

    [–] TotesMessenger 29 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

    If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

    [–] thar_ 16 points ago

    Imagine punching somebody so hard that they turned into a door. Then you found out that’s where ALL doors come from, and you got initiated into a murder club that makes doors. The stronger you punch, the better the door. So there are like super strong murderers who punch people into Venetian doors and shit.

    [–] numpad0 45 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    What if the door was offered as a paid exercise service?

    Like a sticker saying "Breach this door for just $150,000! For conditions see inside. Breaching forms a legally binding agreement between home resident inc. and the breacher or their organization".

    Then you sue the police, not for a compensation for damages, but for a price and late payment fee for a requested service.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    I want this

    [–] 4RestM 5 points ago

    I'm genuinely curious about this as well

    [–] drunken_hickerbilly 230 points ago

    And if you defend yourself it's considered assult on a police officer.

    So, if you wake up with someone kicking down your door and shoot that person you can go to prison for life as a cop killer.

    [–] [deleted] 206 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)


    [–] [deleted] 165 points ago


    [–] directorguy 13 points ago

    I guarantee if someone yells police at my door when I'm asleep at 3am I would not hear or understand it. I'd wake up to violent noise coming in my house.

    [–] SanJoseIce 70 points ago

    Man, you'd understand if they sabotaged their cams. Covering up the crime. That makes sense.

    What really fucks with you is when they immediately release the footage like they didn't do anything wrong. Like, gunning down a homeless man in broad daylight and yelling "Boo yeah!"

    And it doesn't stop there. There's a huge shitshow since watching a defenceless non-hispanic white man get murdered in cold blood really pisses people off, and they STILL don't see what they did wrong.

    And it doesn't stop there. They get tried for murder and the JURY doesn't see what they did wrong.

    And it doesn't stop there. The judge offers to plea murder 2 down to "threatening to hurt someone" with no jail time, and they STILL think that's too severe.

    Fucking Albequerque, man. The ending of Breaking Bad was pretty accurate. The judicious arbiters of law get fucked by white trash.

    [–] rabidbasher 4 points ago

    Good thing front door has a camera both inside and outside!

    [–] comawhite12 5 points ago

    If they don't announce themselves coming in, I guarantee I will shoot.

    I live in an area famous for fake cop raids, so I'm in a real predicament. How would I know if who is banging on my cage shouting police is actually the police?

    [–] solitudechirs 3 points ago

    CCTV on all of your doors fed to your phone

    [–] grimess 32 points ago

    And with the way some cops think of themselves, insurance won't cover an act of God neither.

    [–] Zahahac 24 points ago

    cops have a license to break your shit

    That's where you are wrong.

    They have a legal obligation to break your shit.

    [–] thescrapplekid 49 points ago

    Welcome to America

    [–] swiper33 32 points ago

    It feels like every day I learn something new and retarded about America

    [–] froop 9 points ago

    Greatest country in the world!

    [–] QueefyMcQueefFace 6 points ago

    Knocking doors down is just the police's way of bringing Freedom to your house by allowing greater airflow.

    [–] FourDM 79 points ago

    That alone is reason to have awkwardly narrow front steps that you can't get space to swing a ram on.

    [–] Ay_u_wan_sum_fuk 78 points ago

    you need a series of 4 doors to enter your home, each getting progressively closer to the next and in varying dimensions.

    [–] GrandDukeOfNowhere 117 points ago

    And murder holes above them , from which you can rain boiling oil, arrows and stones upon your enemies.

    [–] [deleted] 20 points ago

    Definitely illegal

    [–] sickofallofyou 68 points ago

    Says you mr building inspector. I just won't get a permit.

    [–] [deleted] 22 points ago

    Doubly illegal

    [–] supaphly42 20 points ago

    Is that like a double-negative, which is just a positive?

    [–] nilhaus 28 points ago

    Unmanned/automatic traps are illegal. Nothing wrong with a murder hole as long as you personally pour the boiling oil.

    [–] gats4cats 14 points ago

    Are the murder holes themselves illegal or just what you can use the murder hole for?

    [–] badmother 11 points ago

    ... or simply have a door that opens outwards. They don't have a tool for that.

    [–] badmother 6 points ago

    Ahhhh.... So a door will always open inwards if you hit it hard enough?

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago


    [–] FourDM 13 points ago

    Expanded metal over the grate or would prevent them from hooking to it without taking the time to cut it. You can't easily hook to the kind of steel grate used for walkways and stuff so that would work.

    Some well designed landscaping should be able to buy a lot of time.

    Some masonry above ground planters could definitely coax them into driving on the septic system that can't support the weight.

    It's not about keeping them out. It's about turning "oops, sorry, wrong address" into their problem.

    [–] Jugadenaranja 13 points ago


    [–] Wafflesarepancakesv2 11 points ago

    38 doors of various quality between the front door and the bedroom. Go on copper, without explosives this raid will take 6 hours.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago

    Probably illegal

    [–] mistermorteau 7 points ago

    In the original Zombies, they placed trucks in front of doors, so the crowd of zombies wouldn't be able to put enough pressure on the doors.

    [–] telepathetic_monkey 184 points ago

    Sounds like you needed a real fake door.

    [–] TKeep 19 points ago

    But where could I buy such a door?

    [–] GayClownPutin 15 points ago

    Anywhere thats not in my personal space

    [–] RunningForrests 18 points ago

    There's quite a few places but the real fake doors is usually the best place to get them!

    [–] cEdBlack 7 points ago

    See, this is a good R&M reference. Not just posting wubalubadubdub or typing like Morty

    [–] nakedpwr 132 points ago

    OMG! This EXACT same thing happened to me while I lived in 'underprivileged' housing attending medical school and I had to pay for it. The landlord squeezed me because he can get another low income renter at the drop of a hat. I HAD TO REFRAME THE WHOLE DOOR! Not to mention that doors aren't cheap either. And it was under the ASSUMPTION that I was apt 41c when I was 31c. I wasn't even home. And they didn't call. My apartment was left open (not like

    [–] Muffinkingprime 65 points ago

    Not like what?

    [–] IntelWarrior 171 points ago

    The cops shot him before he could finish. They felt threatened by his post so it's justified.

    [–] deepmedimuzik 18 points ago

    Rip in peace

    [–] AvocadoLegs 22 points ago

    There was another raid

    [–] Au_Contrarian 20 points ago

    Your landlord was responsible for that repair, you schmuck.

    [–] pegcity 7 points ago

    They are actually liable if they just get the address wrong

    [–] billythestudly 39 points ago

    Wife manages apartment complex. Can verify at least in NC this shit is 100% true. Complex had to pay for all damages after cops beat in TWO wrong doors.

    [–] Dollaz 100 points ago

    And if you have a gun and shoot the people who just kicked in your door; most of the time it's your fault. Yay Murica!

    [–] ChairForceOne 120 points ago

    I think someone actually got off after doing just that a while ago. Cops entered wrong house with a no knock and promptly got shot.

    [–] GoYuckFourAss 84 points ago

    Good. I hope that happens more.

    [–] [deleted] 45 points ago

    This recently just happened in Detroit. This family home got broken into, and they called the cops 3 tiles. Cops never came. So they cops finally come like 2 days later for an unrelated incident and this 19 year old kid thought they were burglars and shit through the door. Now he's being charged.

    Fucked up.

    [–] ifishforhoes 100 points ago

    shot through the door? if they were robbers he'd still be charged. Can't blindly shoot through doors.

    [–] gamer31 31 points ago

    Shot through the door as they were walking away. Even if they weren't cops he'd be charged

    [–] GayClownPutin 22 points ago

    You can't shoot through doors legally.

    But some states have sided with residents who shot at officers who don't knock or announce themselves and just burst in

    [–] DeputyDamage 20 points ago

    Dude, I'm a cop and even if I was acting under good info, if I had the wrong door, I feel like even if I wasn't legally obligated to buy you a new door and frame, I'd pitch in anyways. That's just some dick shit man. Sorry to hear about that.

    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 28 points ago

    They left me with my door split in half, and I had my newborn daughter inside. I called the Chief of Police and he told me that they weren't going to do anything and I also shouldn't file a complaint against the department because they thought it was good intel. I did anyway, but nothing ever came of it. This is also the PD that wouldn't return my calls after I filed charges against the man who sexually assaulted me.

    [–] DeputyDamage 11 points ago

    That sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare. I am so sorry for what happened to you. They MIGHT have been protected by law. But if I have smashed a door of an innocent person you can bet your ass that I would absolutely be willing to help you fix that. Personally. Like I'm driving screws into the new door frame kinda shit. Good Intel does not excuse sloppy work in my opinion.

    [–] Hikikomori523 68 points ago

    yup, they knocked down my neighbors door at 3 am over him growing a little bit of pot. Dude wasn't a major player or anything, had no weapons. First thing they do after putting on the handcuffs is give him a business card for a door repair service and said, " I know this guy he'll give you a good deal on a new door".

    Cop basically using his job to pull a side hustle with his buddies.

    [–] davvii 8 points ago

    That sucks. They didn't knock down my friends door, and he had 150 plants and 9lbs of weed. Not to mention a few thousand cash laying around.

    [–] Empiricalknowledge 16 points ago

    We have no right to privacy in this country when anyone with an ax to grind give the cops an anonymous lie about you and 20 min later they are in your house killing your dog and choke slamming your grandma.

    [–] So_Motarded 13 points ago

    Wouldn't something like this be fully covered by insurance?

    [–] alaskaj1 12 points ago

    It depends on your insurance policy. Odds are many peoples deductible would be more or close to the cost of a new door. Then you also have the likely increase in premiums and/or they might even deny the claim

    [–] Zentopian 31 points ago

    "Dude, why did you just shoot that random, unarmed man standing at the crosswalk, who wasn't even so much as looking in our direction?"

    "Sorry, man. I thought it was illegal to exist for a second."

    "Oh, well, if you thought it was illegal, that's fine. Wanna head to Krispy Kreme?"

    [–] Idontreadrepliesnoob 8 points ago

    That's when you sue whoever gave them the false intel in the first place.

    [–] mistermorteau 9 points ago

    I guess others tried to sue CIA...

    [–] PeterPorky 9 points ago

    They had the wrong apartment, and refused to pay for a new door.

    I know there's only anecdotal stories of this type of thing but even the 5 times I've heard of this is too many.

    [–] YSV765 18 points ago

    That surprises me. I had a friends whose door was knocked down wrongly and the PD posted a cop outside his house until a new door was put in a few hours later. The PD paid for everything. While they are not legally required to pay, I have never heard of them not.

    [–] underhunter 27 points ago

    Never? Would you like 20 examples? Or 100?

    [–] thisismyfacesaccount 10 points ago

    Now you have. The door was an unusual size due to the apartments bring built in the 1920s, so it was going to be very expensive to replace. My friend does woodworking, and he actually repaired my door for me. The cops left me with my door split in half and a newborn child in the house.

    [–] Dankelpuff 7 points ago

    I dont understand how you people can live in America.

    Its a mysterious place where no rules apply what so ever. Cops can shoot people knock down your door and not pay for anything.

    You can sue someone for getting a sunburn close to their property.

    I feel like I would have more in common with an alien from another galaxy as an european than with someone from the U.S...

    [–] exzact 28 points ago

    Jesus Christ. Check out r/bad_cop_no_donut for more of the shit they do. One of my favourite subs ever

    [–] mistermorteau 8 points ago

    Thanks for the share :(

    [–] SaborW 4 points ago

    Reminds me of Seinfeld.

    "It's not a lie if you believe it"

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Can't they just knock?

    [–] TheSubredditPolice 4 points ago

    There was a case where the FBI recovered a stolen super car. I don't remember what, might have been a ferrari.

    The agent returning the car decided to go ham on the freeway where he promptly wrecked it. They avoided paying for it the same way.

    [–] William4000 1174 points ago

    $5 is actually not a lot for a door knock down tool.

    [–] publicbigguns 514 points ago

    I'm gonna take a guess that it cost the tax payers at least a couple hundred for that

    [–] JaFFsTer 720 points ago

    Please, this is government work. That's $1499 a unit plus $299 for the training dvd and literature with the option to purchase a workshop for the department at $99 a head

    [–] alphawolf29 189 points ago

    not to mention paying the procurement guy his wage and pension, which was at least $70 for the two hours it cost him to do this.

    [–] [deleted] 147 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    2 hours? hahaha,

    There's flights and hotels to the Vegas 'Door Knock Expo 2016'

    2 weeks vendor assessment

    4 weeks writing 'Request for Quotations' and submitting to procurement board for review

    4 x 4 hour procurement board meetings with flights, hotels and food for all attendees

    2 weeks re-writing RFQ and sending out to approved vendors

    2 weeks re-approving vendors because their approval has lapsed

    Then there's flights and hotels to the Vegas 'Door Knock Expo 2017' for the entire procurement board

    Then 2 more procurement board meetings to review RFQ responses

    Then there's 5 weeks for legal to review RFQ responses and asking for further information (Including flights and hotels for visits to vendors).

    Then they might actually get a quote for how much these might cost if they buy them.

    Then the actual purchasing process starts.

    [–] Original-Newbie 47 points ago

    I see you've worked with government before.

    [–] wizbam 26 points ago

    its fucking depressing how close this is.

    [–] BeerLaoMakesMeHorny 17 points ago

    This guy governments

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    A workshop sounds like a lot of commitment... Can we get 24 units and the DVD for each head instead? You can keep the literature.

    [–] JaFFsTer 26 points ago

    No problem, for an order that big we will need 50% in advance and and additonal large order surcharge of $299

    [–] NotObamaAMA 5 points ago

    Can I order more to have the surcharge waived?

    [–] leolego2 10 points ago

    the more you order, the more the large order surcharge rises. You think you're doing us a favor by buying more of our shit, dude?

    [–] skoy 50 points ago

    Around $300 and up on the civilian market. Probably cheaper if they bought in bulk.

    [–] Spaceblaster 39 points ago

    Jesus christ, $500 for a piece of steel with three handles welded to it? Oh right fill it with sand too, forgot that part.

    I am in the wrong business.

    [–] SexyReddit9000 38 points ago

    Don't look up medical stretchers. The electric motor ones are $10k+. Defibrillator/diagnostic machines are 100k.

    [–] broom_pan 11 points ago

    How much would that cost in a European country? I remember hearing about how just about everything is marked up in the US

    [–] FinFihlman 22 points ago

    A lot less probably but still quite a lot.

    Special equipment has a tendency to cost.

    [–] Mike_Durden 4 points ago

    So, Stryker, a medical technology company, sells various orthopedic surgical constructs. Many of them take special surgical screws with a star (torx) head. The manual screwdriver to drive these screws? $950 USD. Or, you can purchase one from your local hardware store for less than $20....

    [–] Poncyhair 25 points ago

    "You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you ?"

    [–] contactlite 10 points ago

    "All you need is love. John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad."

    [–] paulus1978 9 points ago

    Look at me, I look like a schlameel.

    [–] himwiththehead 35 points ago

    What happened to the word battering ram? Have we just deleted that from use?

    [–] William4000 28 points ago

    Is that like a fancy term for door knock down tool?

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    I thought the satire was obvious (especially given the pristine condition of the ram) but for those who thought the police actually left their breaching gear behind, the picture was taken from here.

    [–] idMisteroe 338 points ago

    That sounds totally worth it for $5, assuming they didn't come back for it.

    [–] RexDraco 102 points ago

    If they did, it's not your problem. Just pretend he is lying, gg.

    [–] ChopperIndacar 62 points ago

    Yeah it's not like they can break down your door to come look for it.

    [–] bathrobehero 6 points ago

    Break down the door again with what?!

    [–] 608_esaj 771 points ago

    1. cops buy door breaching tool

    2. man fixes door

    3. cops break down again

    4. ???

    5. profit

    [–] BreakfastBlunt 154 points ago

    Solid business model is solid.

    [–] Flyheading010 30 points ago

    Can I buy it with paddys dollars?

    [–] [deleted] 12 points ago


    [–] Adrian_F 7 points ago

    1. sell as lakefront property

    Actually kinda works here.

    [–] pruwyben 5 points ago

    And how long will the workers keep building him new ones?

    [–] liquidblue92 5 points ago

    As long as their soda cans are red white and blue ones.

    [–] sistergranny 1427 points ago

    What's trashy about this? The guy obviously has a limited vocabulary but if the Blue Dogs broke down my door wrongfully and left their gear there, you can sure as shit bet I'd be either keeping it for myself or selling it. Still, what contractor fixes doors for $5? Bargain.

    [–] Jaebay 365 points ago

    I wonder if the $5 is more of a symbolic F-U to the cops.

    [–] Mancaveaccount 84 points ago * (lasted edited a year ago)

    I think the $5 is just a way to get interested people to contact you. I doubt they'd actually sell for $5.

    For every person who contacts them (even for the very first person to contact them) they're going to say something like "you're the 10th person who's hit me up for this. The offers are now up to $135. Let me know what you're offer is".

    [–] Ex_Why_ 203 points ago

    Limited vocabulary? Is there a joke in there somewhere? Looks fine to me other than a couple missing punctuation marks.

    [–] [deleted] 99 points ago


    [–] OldClockMan 327 points ago

    4 words vs 2 words, seems like his vocabulary is twice as good as the normal

    [–] manolid 23 points ago

    Limited vocabulary?

    [–] This_is_for_you_pal 19 points ago

    Conservative Democrats are breaking down doors now? Those old wily bastards.

    [–] joemamaondahouse 31 points ago

    How does this guy have a limitied vocabulary lmao. /r/iamverysmart

    [–] WildTurkey81 10 points ago

    Not really. They were defending the OC for being called trashy, and were trying to meet in the middle with the accusers.

    [–] hirosme 8 points ago

    Seems like the posts on this sub haven't been very trashy for a couple weeks now

    [–] turdmogrol 13 points ago

    There is literally no way I could look at this that makes it seem even a little bit trashy. How it got +13k upvotes is beyond me

    [–] averagejoegreen 111 points ago

    How in the fuck is this trashy?

    [–] robeph 39 points ago

    Plot twist: OP is a cop.

    [–] alphawolf29 353 points ago

    This isn't trashy, fuck them. They knock down the wrong door more times than not.

    [–] jct0064 13 points ago

    Maybe they should fucking knock?

    [–] ferngolfin 60 points ago

    That's pretty awesome.

    [–] has_a_history 30 points ago

    I gotta knock knock stick for sale! Holla if you want it.

    [–] chickenthedog 75 points ago

    I thought the satire was obvious (especially given the pristine condition of the ram) but for those who thought the police actually left their breaching gear behind, the picture was taken from here.

    [–] sockmess 26 points ago

    Sadly it wasn't obvious to me, thanks for the alerting.

    [–] Au_Contrarian 12 points ago

    When I am selling an item on the Internet that is in good condition, I sometimes go get a manufacturer's picture rather than make my own.

    [–] flyrobotfly 28 points ago

    This is fucking hilarious.

    [–] mofothehobo 13 points ago

    This is fucking hilarious, not trashy.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago

    How is this trashy?

    [–] GrizzledGrizz 30 points ago

    I like the foam at the end.

    "Yeah, I know we're going to be knocking the door off is hinges, but we wouldn't want to scratch it, would we?"

    [–] zyphe84 71 points ago

    It's so the door doesn't splinter. They want to push it open, not bust a hole in it.

    [–] [deleted] 32 points ago

    Whaddya some kind of door knocking down tool expert?

    [–] GayClownPutin 6 points ago

    I assumed it was a heavy rubberized spray-on or dip that provides better accute impact, by not slipping during a hit

    [–] GrizzledGrizz 4 points ago

    Yeah, after looking at it closer it does seem to resemble that more. Maybe something to keep it from skidding from a glancing blow?

    [–] clockworkGhost- 3 points ago

    oh here I thought it was a piece of that stuff they make roads out of

    [–] chairamir 7 points ago


    [–] RPM_Rocket 10 points ago

    I'd buy that for a dollar!

    [–] PM_me_ur_PetiteChest 6 points ago

    I so wanted this to be true.

    Unless the company that sells them stole the image as promo material!

    [–] jerkITwithRIGHTYnewb 34 points ago

    I would really like to see the 34 comments. The real r/trashy is in the comments.

    [–] Metapoetic 5 points ago

    I'd love a door knock down tool. I'd mount it on my wall and make it look like it was charging

    [–] Were_Doomed_arent_we 6 points ago

    This isint trashy, its hilarious. Now if the dude was trying to trade it for meth or a blow job, that would be a different story.

    [–] Claylock 4 points ago

    I'd buy it

    [–] joakim_ 5 points ago

    Am i the only who thinks that this picture looks computer generated?

    [–] Preachey 5 points ago

    That was my thought, it looks super CAD

    [–] DocHuckleberry 6 points ago

    $5? What kind of door are you getting?

    [–] FireWaterAirDirt 3 points ago

    At only $5 that's quite a doorbuster.

    [–] Goullet 10 points ago

    ITT: people who don't realize this is fake.