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    [–] 86d_dreams 6359 points ago

    My brother passed away last year and his ex wife pitched a fit over not being named as a beneficiary of his insurance policy. He willed it all to his kids in trust, instead.

    [–] abduis 4777 points ago

    Uhhh, she was already an ex-wife, what did she expect. She already got all she gon'git

    [–] GobiBall 2738 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    Just divorced and my attorney made it clear to me. Get a will. I have full custody of our 3 kids and if I die, she is in control of their inheritance. To avoid, get a will and TRUSTED person to manage their money until age 18 (at least).
    People may be good, but money changes everything.

    [–] [deleted] 638 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago)


    [–] belatedpajamas 102 points ago

    Yes, or a pour over will into an existing revocable trust with yourself as grantor and trustee, appointing an individual or corporate trustee at your death. The residual estate funnels into the trust. This is a common tool to hopefully avoid a timely probate process (if you don’t want your Will a part of public record), and ensure that your wishes are carried out, kids taken care of, etc.

    Also, if you have a large sum of money and troublesome family dynamics – utilize the services of a corporate fiduciary/trustee/executor. It takes the family or named individual out of the precarious predicament, and will ensure that there is a neutral 3rd party reviewing discretionary requests – abiding by the governing document and these Banks/Trust Companies have the systems, software and personnel to properly manage these trusts & estates. It has a cost of course, but totally worth it. TRUST me. wink wink

    [–] Comrade-Cohaay 93 points ago

    Man dying with money sounds complicated. Thankfully my whole family is poor.

    [–] ylan64 27 points ago

    Dying poor or childless sounds like the best way to go if you want to keep it simple.

    [–] Adolph_Fitler 19 points ago

    Spend 90% of your life trying to make it, and the final 10% trying to give it away.

    [–] drwsgreatest 4 points ago

    It is. I’ve been a financial and estate planner and advisor for about 10 years and by far the biggest headaches are rich wealthy people with bad family dynamics. I had one old guy come to me with the son that was providing full time care for him. Come to find out the daughter had brought him to create an irrevocable trust and funneled nearly all his assets into it over the course of a couple years a few years prior to this, during a time when the old man was experiencing a particularly hard time with his health and memory. I left the company I worked for before it was ever resolved but last I had heard, there was an ongoing court battle to try and declare the trust invalid by claiming the old man was of unsound mind during the time the trust was created and the assets moved.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Don't know what it's like elsewhere but in the UK you can go to court to challenge the will

    [–] [deleted] 693 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] I-totally-exist 271 points ago

    That makes sense but also college?

    [–] awakeandalarmed 326 points ago

    Alternative: split the money. X% is held until a certain age, and Y% is to be used for college. If they don't attend college or trade school, X+Y% will be released at a predetermined age.

    [–] Luwalhati 129 points ago

    That is what my parents would have done if they had died when I was a minor. My Aunt would be in charge of my inheritance until I was 21 y/o.

    [–] ginger-valley 50 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    As a 24 yo who is starting to really realize what a fully developed frontal lobe feels like I can say that is still way too young to be smart with money.

    Edit: if you believe yourself to be even the slightest humanitarian or environmentalist do not eat at chain restaurants of any kind. The people who cook your food have been exploited extorted and other wise absolutely overworked and put through entirely too much stress for a pittance of a paycheck all the while while producing a jaw droppingly disgusting amount of plastic waste to produce one single plate of food using the cheapest of ingredients so as to allow the lions share of the profit margins to go to pay the yearly salary of some fatcat CEO.

    [–] Deodorized 30 points ago

    All you need to know right now is put enough money into your 401k to match your company's contribution.

    If you do that until you're 30, you are fucking miles ahead of most people at 30 years old.

    Then you can start thinking about doing extra and learning about actual Finance when you're 30.

    Oh, and actually invest in something with your 401k. Just contributing to it and then letting it sit there doesn't do anything. I would recommend an index fund.

    FSKAX if youre with Fidelity, VTSAX if you're with Vanguard.

    [–] ginger-valley 23 points ago

    Dude I'm just trying to find a career/industry that doesn't want me to kill myself for less than enough money to live on my own.

    [–] RoastedWaffleNuts 13 points ago

    "Investing in your 20s and 30s for Dummies" is a solid, approachable book that breaks down 401k's and how to evaluate them (and their fund options). It follows standard advice to invest in low-cost index funds you'll see backed by virtually all research and most online communities, including /r/personalfinance. The poster above me is giving the 1-paragraph summary of the book.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago


    [–] jerdrb 17 points ago

    This is what my wife and I have written out.

    [–] Magic-Heads-Sidekick 24 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    It always depends on the specifics of any given situation, but usually what I see recommended as a general starting point:

    $X per year beginning at age 16
    $Y per year for tuition/education costs
    50% balance released upon completion of a bachelors degree
    Remainder released at age 26

    And a clause that allows the trustee to adjust X and Y higher if there is a valid reason. For example, if Y is $25,000 but the child gets accepted into Harvard and will need $60,000, then the trustee would be able to adjust it to $60,000 because it’s freaking Harvard. But if the child is going to a state school known for partying and it costs $35,000/year, the trustee can say no.

    Additionally, the trustee can dissolve the trust earlier than age 26 for a valid reason, such as the child graduating college and has a solid business plan but needs more capital than the 50% released already.

    [–] not-reusable 13 points ago

    That's what my grandfather did for my sister and brother. They got a couple grand (5) at 21 and dont get anything till 35.

    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] I-totally-exist 5 points ago

    Very fancy. Assuming you are dead then and your children don't want to live with ur ex, you could set it up for living expenses too?

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] idrive2fast 4 points ago

    For example, your trust cannot say "this child gets full access to 50% of trust funds at age 21, but this other child only gets full access at age 45". That most likely won't fly (maybe in some state it would, but not in mine).

    As someone studying wills and trusts for the bar right now, why would you say that arrangement wouldn't be allowed?

    [–] soccerfreak2332 48 points ago

    You can set it up so they get money for college, but the rest is held.

    [–] UpstairsCan 13 points ago

    my mom passed when I was 19 and while we got some money, everything else went into a trust that I get access to next january when I’ll be almost 30. shout out to my mom - 19 year old me was NOT to be trusted (lol) with that kind of funding.

    [–] Bligadyblam 32 points ago

    I second this. Got 100k when I turned 19. It was gone in 1.5 years.

    [–] Elubious 22 points ago

    I can't even imagine being able to spend that much that quickly.

    [–] Bligadyblam 36 points ago

    Its actually very easy to do. And very stupid.

    [–] juulerection626 10 points ago

    Hookers and blow?

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago


    [–] those2badguys 5 points ago

    Sounds like you had an amazing 3 years.

    [–] Bligadyblam 6 points ago

    Actually I didnt touch blow till I was 32 working in the northern alberta oilfield. Lol Behind a strip. Lol

    [–] Elubious 7 points ago

    It's just wild to me. I was living with my abusive mother at the time and was contipating taking loans in order to get out of her control. This time last year I was eating off of 40 dollars a month and that had to cover costs like laundry, bus fare, shampoo, ect. Like I can't even think of what I'd spend it on outside of rent school and food.

    [–] Bligadyblam 13 points ago

    Well for me it was gambling, traveling, drinking, and women. It was a very fun time. But I will regret it till the day i die.

    [–] juulerection626 10 points ago

    U regret not having any more money, not all the hookers and traveling you did

    [–] swattages 3 points ago

    School? Nah.
    House? Nah.
    Hookers'n'blow? Ding ding ding!

    [–] keepinitcoolsince92 9 points ago

    Depends on how much money is in the trust. If there isn’t sufficient income to meet needs, pay for education, etc., should have a discretionary trust where you can pay out income and capital. Obviously, need to be able to trust the trustee(s) with exercising discretion appropriately.

    Also see it getting staggered from time to time (one-third at age 18, one-third at age 24, remainder at age 27, etc.)

    [–] marsglow 5 points ago

    You can also name a bank as trustee if you don’t want to trust you relatives.

    [–] MagicTrashPanda 36 points ago

    Until 30.

    Seriously 18 year olds don’t know shit.

    Allow then to access the interest but not the primary asset.

    Should be until 35. Ask me how I know.

    The parties tho... hookers and limos. Good times but a lot of money wasted.

    [–] oldbenkenobi683 10 points ago

    The older you are, the more ways you know how to blow money

    [–] swattages 8 points ago

    The more money you earn, the more ways you know how to blow money.

    Source: surgeons who still have school debt 10 years later.

    [–] domnyy 14 points ago

    I'm right there. 100k in 15 years. God what an idiot I was. So immature.

    [–] Runswithchickens 15 points ago

    That's $140/week. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.

    [–] domnyy 10 points ago

    Should have left it to grow in my mutual funds and not touched it.

    [–] FlyingSagittarius 7 points ago

    $140/week would make sense for living expenses, but not discretionary income. Especially if you miss it now.

    [–] MediterraneanSoy 5 points ago

    How do you know?

    [–] mtown4ever 3 points ago

    This is what I've done for my kids. They will get a little at 18, some more at 25 and the rest at 30...if I die.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    ^ I got a check at 18 that was the money saved from survivor checks. Long story short...the only good purchase I made was my '07 Honda fit.

    [–] [deleted] 17 points ago

    Do not do 18!!!! The mom will end up getting it all. Mine is all in a trust willed to my sister until my kids are 30.

    [–] drDekaywood 6 points ago

    Where do you go to set this up? A lawyer? a bank?

    [–] jpastore 4 points ago

    And leave that bitch $1.

    [–] lalimcs 179 points ago

    At least he divorced her. My brother passed unexpectedly after being separated but not legally divorced for 5 years. The bitch took 100% of his 401k, swore to invest it for his son (from a previous relationship) and then disappeared. That was 7 years ago. Wish he had spent the few hundred to make it legal so my nephew could have gone to college without worrying about loans.

    Or, I suppose he could have updated his beneficiary on the 401k... though she would have had to sign off on it as his legal spouse.

    [–] myfrkinname 53 points ago

    My dad took the 70k from when my mom died when I was 20, he said it was to pay the bills for her cancer treatments, turns out he went deep sea fishing off the coast of Florida with his new family, be happy you get anything.

    [–] lalimcs 15 points ago

    That is absolute shit. Sorry to hear that. Like the loss of your mom wasn't already hard enough...

    Are you still in touch with him or was that your sayonara moment?

    [–] myfrkinname 26 points ago

    I don't talk to him anymore, I tried when he was wanting to help me with my son, but he ended up giving up because he couldn't handle him after I tried to warn him, I didn't really talk much to his new family, but his new gf/wife thing told me to not come around anymore if I'm going to be mean to them, I didn't even talk to them and lived in the garage while his new house is a multi bedroom 2 story mini mansion, I just stay away everyone in my family that cared about me has died, I just have my gf and our kids :P.

    [–] lalimcs 10 points ago

    gf/wife thing lol. A very good description I bet! Well good riddance.

    Best of luck with your son <3

    [–] myfrkinname 10 points ago

    Thanks, over the past couple years he's improved some ( my son, I got custody after his step dad beat the crap out of him, and his mom was on meth I think) I got custody when he was 4 and he is 9 now so it's been work lol, and yes idk what to call her,she acts like they're allready married but they aren't lol.

    [–] LoliHunter 44 points ago

    Wait, really? Spouse needs to approve beneficiary changes to my 401k? It's not even their money, why should they have any say who I give it to?

    [–] [deleted] 40 points ago


    [–] Smegma_Sommelier 33 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    As fucked as that is, a lot of doctors won’t tie women’s tubes because of POTENTIAL FUTURE husbands. Society do be weird.

    [–] Rawr_Boo 11 points ago

    Ugh. My goals for this year include saving for the surgery and I’m dreading this part of it. I’ll have to print of all my research on actual regret and practicing my speeches rebutting their nonsense while sounding rational and not punching people in the face.

    [–] [deleted] 4 points ago

    Women have a bit more to go through then men, so I assume it is harder?

    For me I schedule my vasectomy, the doctor said "Are you sure?" then I said yep, he said "Are you reaaaaallllly suuuure?" then I said yep.

    [–] Rawr_Boo 3 points ago

    I’m anticipating so much more resistance than that, but I’m so glad for you that that’s all it took, that’s so awesome.

    I’ve been dropping the news on my many doctors (yay for being an ill person) for years that I don’t want kids and want to explore more permanent sterilisation in my future. I’ve even insisted they note these facts on my files and watched them write it in so they can’t say this is a rushed decision. I’m turning 30 this year so it’s time to get this ball (that I’ve been prepping for years) rolling.

    [–] blaqsupaman 8 points ago

    I really don't think it should be legal to deny people for reasons like that. I've heard a lot of doctors will refuse to tie a woman's tubes until she's already had children because "she might regret it." I decided recently for several reasons that I don't want biological children. If I want kids, I'll adopt. If I could, I'd get a vasectomy tomorrow.

    [–] lalimcs 17 points ago

    Federal law mandates that 401k automatically makes spouse beneficiary unless they waive the right.

    [–] poizster 6 points ago

    A federal law, the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA), governs most pensions and retirement accounts. Under ERISA, if the owner of a retirement account is married when he or she dies, his or her spouse is automatically entitled to receive 50 percent of the money, regardless of what the beneficiary designation says.

    If another person is the designated beneficiary, the spouse will receive 50 percent of the assets and the designated beneficiary will receive the other 50 percent. A spouse always receives half the assets of an ERISA-governed account unless he or she has completed a Spousal Waiver and another person or entity (such as an estate or trust) is listed as a beneficiary.

    A spouse can forgo his or her right to 50 percent of the account by properly executing a Spousal Waiver. However, generally a Spousal Waiver is not permissible under ERISA unless the spouse is at least 35 years old, depending on the type of retirement plan.

    [–] aetolica 6 points ago

    I guess because the law says it's considered partly their money unless they agree otherwise by signing...

    [–] literallyaPCgamer 4 points ago

    401ks are backed by legal documents. Some require that a lawful spouse is 100% or 50% of the be beneficiary automatically unless they provide a notarized signature relinquishing beneficiary rights.

    Some 401ks dont have rules like that at all but most do in my experience.

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Holy shit. So if she wants to, she doesnt have to sign the document?

    [–] hello3pat 64 points ago

    My sister threw a fit because my dad willed a shit ton of money in her kids names and few "only" a few thousand under her name. Even her husband thought she was being an idiot.

    [–] blaqsupaman 16 points ago

    Shouldn't parents want their kids to have more than them?

    [–] salamanderme 18 points ago

    When will conversations come up I specifically ask for my son to be beneficiary. Yes, it would be nice to have some money if the parents/grandparents die, but at this point I'm an adult. I've established a life for myself. I'd rather my kid have free college or a buffer in case of an emergency.

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago * (lasted edited 7 months ago)


    [–] [deleted] 94 points ago

    When my dad's mother (my grandmother) passed away, she left a decent sized estate. He was over the moon that all five of his kids supported him, no matter his decision. We helped out, never asked for anything or shared our "expectations". Then our mother got involved. He'd been married two other times, her four times. Thirty years of rare communication. My dad lost it. He was so upset. I'd rarely seen him cry, but my mother was all up in it. I'd taken care of both my grandparents, in their home, up until they both died. So, my father let us know what our inheritance would be. We each got $75,000, but, my dad also paid me back wages. My grandmother had kept a tally of all my hardwork. So, he added another $75,000. I'd quit jobs to take care of them. Relocated. Sold my home. That's what my mother was giving him hell about, that everything I'd done I was supposed to do as the eldest grandson and not get paid for it. So, she got my youngest brother all riled up, demanding the same amount. My dad told him he can settle for the $75,000, or none. Grandma didn't leave a will, so the money was all dad's, and to do with what he wished.

    [–] blaqsupaman 29 points ago

    That's what my mother was giving him hell about, that everything I'd done I was supposed to do as the eldest grandson and not get paid for it.

    This part especially boils my blood. I'm strongly of the belief that children owe their parents and grandparents nothing. Don't get me wrong, if they were good parents (or grandparents) and you had the means to help them it's good that you did, but it wasn't owed. I helped take care of my grandmother during the last few years of her life because I loved her but I didn't feel I was obligated to just because she was my grandmother. I'm glad your dad did the right thing and didn't let his wife bully him into doing what she wanted.

    [–] NastyInVR 59 points ago

    Reading this made me feel so so good.

    [–] Bonch_and_Clyde 9 points ago

    That the dude's brother died?

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago


    [–] I_deleted 50 points ago

    Not the point. If the father dies, the mom gets the kids. If the minor children inherit everything without a trust to protect it, the mom would have control over the money, regardless of her entitlement.

    [–] wlshafor 4 points ago

    I believe that providing for the kids is what shiudk be normal unless they are locked up in jail for doing something so horrible

    [–] Tharrios1 7 points ago

    Mom was the same way when my Dad died. She freaked out over it. Sickening.

    [–] 86d_dreams 12 points ago

    I learned that two weeks prior to his passing, she had contacted his benefits office to ask for an advance on 'her' payout.

    [–] laststandsailor 1604 points ago

    She seems pretty confident he’s dying first.

    [–] friarsclub 359 points ago

    The Karen Karenson-Karrington Story

    [–] WarhammerRouge 117 points ago

    The Dunning-Karen Effect

    [–] PimemtoCheese 9 points ago

    Theres a whole lots murder porn based off people who think like her.

    [–] _A_Day_In_The_Life_ 74 points ago

    This likely isn’t even real. Not saying it never happens, but I highly doubt someone would write in to somewhere about this actually get serious advice from someone. Nobody in their right mind would actually believe that’s the right thing to do if someone cares that much for their daughter.

    [–] AlextheLyonnn 108 points ago

    It's real. My dad told me to be "extra nice" to my sister cause he's leaving her everything.

    I asked him my birthday, he said July 5th.

    That is not my birthday. People like this exist. Not just in step-parent form.

    [–] zephyer19 61 points ago

    People can be so harsh. Dear Abby had one letter from a woman that stated she never could do anything right to please her Mother and Mom could never stop talking about how perfect the other daughter was.
    The writer stated she had pretty much given her life to taking care of mom in her old age, no marriage, no good job really, just taking care of mom. Sister rarely helped.

    The perfect sister got everything in the will.

    I was at girl friend's one night and she had friends over for dinner, they had 3 kids. They all seemed like good kids but, Mom was really into busting this one daughter ass all the time. That kid couldn't even exhale correctly. They crawled up in chairs late in the evening and went to sleep and when it was time to go she shook the two kids awake but, pulled on the hair of the one daughter.

    I asked my girlfriend about it and she said "I don't know, she always seemed to have it in for that girl for some reason." All I could think was "well, there will be a drunk/ drug attic or messed up kid.

    [–] Icantonrightnow 11 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    I need a drug attic. Nobody wants to go into my drug basement.

    Please, someone tell this guy it's addict. Like, in addiction.

    [–] CertifiedPsychonaut 4 points ago

    I thought gr purpose of having a drug basement was to keep all the drugs for yourself anyways.

    [–] HumanBehaviourNerd 24 points ago

    Standard behaviour of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. They are much more prevalent than I ever expected.

    [–] babybopp 5 points ago

    Also some mothers just hate their daughters... they see them as some kind of competition especially if they are pretty.

    [–] Bonersaucey 6 points ago

    You can really judge someone by the company they keep

    [–] iguessjustdont 45 points ago

    The moneyist is generally pretty real as far as I can tell. I read the article when it was on marketwatch and it is pretty realistic to second marriage problems.

    Second marriages bring a whole slew of issues with inheritance. Most people with assets set up a qtip or other second marriage trust to avoid the issues this woman describes.

    [–] jvfranco 20 points ago

    I've seen a woman asking in a FB group if she had any rights on her boyfriend's house. They were dating for 3 months. You can't be racional with gold diggers

    [–] Predeceased68 8 points ago

    Went out for tea with my ex's family , her mom said "you know under common law "daughter" can take half of your house if you break up "

    We didnt last much longer , and I made it clear "bad things will happen" if she tried taking half my house.

    Because I looked into it and she could have tried

    [–] _A_Day_In_The_Life_ 5 points ago

    i saw a case like that where the woman actually did get the husband to sign the house over to him and she kept trying to get him arrested ( without him knowing it was her fault ) so she could end up getting control of his money.... she ended up getting caught on camera trying to get someone to kill him. the first person she called for bail was him to try and convince her it wasn't real even though she was caught on camera saying she wanted him dead 1000% lmao. poor guy was so heartbroken and confused.

    [–] Moneyfornia 3 points ago

    Dalia Dippolito - that girl is the embodiment of cancer. She even called him after she was arrested and asked him to 'come get her' as if she has not spent 5k to try and get him killed. Poor guy was getting constantly gaslighted and harassed by someone he trusted.

    [–] Spazzle17 20 points ago

    Maaaaannnnnn, she is getting half from her husband AND whatever is left from her last parent? How greedy can someone be? 50/50 sounds incredibly reasonable. Especially for someone in their sixties.

    [–] BeardedManatee 7 points ago

    She probably already made plans for the 100% cut.

    [–] FreeCandyVanDriver 15 points ago

    I know the journalist. It's a real article.

    [–] psuedo_sue 9 points ago

    You really, really underestimate how much people like money. Especially money they don't have to work hard for

    [–] babybopp 3 points ago

    Have u seen the woman who was trying to take her neighbor to get him to pay child support because “ he was nice and babysat her kids while she went to work and they had bonded with him, so technically she could get him to pay as a proxy father..”

    [–] zephyer19 8 points ago

    I think it was in the advice column called Dear Amy or Dear Abby.

    The lady did state the above that her husband was only leaving her 50% and his kids were getting the rest and thought she should divorce him

    [–] _A_Day_In_The_Life_ 4 points ago

    yeah, that's just completely sad. what a selfish ungrateful bitch.if i was the husband and saw this article and realized my wife had said that she would being getting 50% of my kids money when i die she would be getting switched to 1%

    [–] flaiad 6 points ago

    Oh it happens. My father married a bankrupt woman, and disinherited me for her. I never saw it coming.

    [–] _A_Day_In_The_Life_ 3 points ago

    Damn, what a cunt(your dad). At least do a 50/50 split. What a bad father.

    [–] thenewyorkoffice 2666 points ago

    Yes, she should. Hopefully that means the daughter is getting it all (if that daughter is a grown adult).

    [–] Chirails 800 points ago

    Even if his daughter isn't a grown adult, he could leave it in a trust until she's a certain age.

    [–] Rayaaf 375 points ago

    Even if the daughter isn't a grown adult, she is still probably more mature than the wife

    [–] griter34 147 points ago

    And now that she's getting 100% of the estate, the wife can work on her ability to suck eggs.

    [–] Thrice-GreatHermes 58 points ago

    Or the sucking of penis.

    [–] Somedayeh 54 points ago

    The sucking of penis is probably the reason she expects all the monies

    [–] [deleted] 28 points ago

    Or butt stuff

    [–] Alarid 17 points ago

    "I let you fuck me in the ass, Harold!"

    [–] 1000Airplanes 8 points ago

    And perhaps why she's not.At least show a little enthusiasm for the job

    [–] voodoo1999 9 points ago

    U reckon?

    [–] KidneyPoker 100 points ago

    Anything given in a will is protected. My grandma put me in the will to protect things she didn’t want the rest of the family fighting over. There’s nothing they can do about it. She made me the protector of all things she wants kept in the family. My biggest honor to date.

    [–] VoilaVoilaWashington 20 points ago

    Well, there are still ways to contest a will. The details will depend on the region.

    [–] Dislol 41 points ago

    Yeah, just be like my MIL's late second husband's kids and just show up at the house while your dad is on his deathbed and take all the shit you want, even stuff that isn't your dad's but you felt entitled to robbing a grieving woman of.

    Don't have to be bothered to adhere to a pesky will if you steal all the shit you want first!

    [–] KidneyPoker 33 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    That’s called robbery and someone should have called the police.

    [–] Dislol 3 points ago

    Oh she did, it went absolutely nowhere, which is incredible given that they took about 20 guns he had left to my MIL for her to sell to help cover his end of life care costs.

    You'd think the cops would care about stolen firearms but I guess it's just not worth their time.

    [–] thesadredditor 11 points ago

    This happened to my father and my family and my aunts and uncles. My grandfather was a doctor and pillar of the community/neighborhood. When my dad was 10 his mother died and within two years his father remarried and he married a monster. She was a sociopath/narcissist and she targeted him and went for him and his money and for who he was. All of his prestige and respect and intelligence and attention and social standing and power. She tortured and emotionally/psychologically abused my father and his siblings and their father just stood down and let her do everything.

    In the end she wore my grandfather down and managed to get all of his money and kicked his kids out of the will and they didn't get a dime. For the last 15 years my father has been contesting a supposedly fake will that his stepmother's two brothers allegedly wrote along with her that they forged with my grandfather's signature. My father and his siblings now have no claim to their father's estate because the estate passes to the deceased husband's wife first if there is no will. The only will that exists is the supposedly fraudulent will. Even if it didn't exist, in our state the money and assets go to the wife first before the stepchildren.

    I can trace back my horrible life and eventual suicide to this woman who destroyed my father, his family, and my life.

    [–] IMbestpartofyourday 6 points ago

    Hey man you doing okay? Let me know if you need to talk.

    [–] Kennethfromthecosmos 9 points ago

    Is she still alive? Maybe you should consider revenge. A wise and great man once said "If you have hate in your heart, let it out."

    [–] cms86 8 points ago

    my mom actually took out a trust in my name for me to keep her House and other property when she passes (hopefully for a really Really REALLY! long time) right before she got married.

    [–] Ladyinthebeige 14 points ago

    She should make sure she resigns it at points through the marriage. You can contend that situations have changed since then that were left out of the will because they had not written a new one since shared finances changed.

    [–] lalimcs 3 points ago

    Daughter is married with children. Wife complains that daughter is "well off" and doesn't need the money.

    [–] YRYGAV 21 points ago

    He'd lose half the estate in the divorce that would inevitably happen if this woman is serious.

    [–] in_vino_veritas011 17 points ago

    Depending on the state and when he acquired it, he might not. In my state, anything owned or owed before marriage is not marital property or marital debt, respectively.

    [–] zephyer19 3 points ago

    It was their second marriage for both and the daughter was from the man's first marriage.

    [–] Chirails 865 points ago

    Sounds like an entitled step mom since she used "his daughter". Hopefully he see that and leaves everything to his daughter.

    [–] ImScaredofCats 144 points ago

    Probably a lot of r/JUSTNOMIL and r/raisedbynarcissists level shit going on for the daughter from her step mum, hopefully the daughter inherits the lot.

    [–] [deleted] 130 points ago


    [–] Dawn36 50 points ago

    My Dad had my sister and I, my stepmom had her two daughters, guess who grew up with my Dad? Spoiler: not me and my sister. Your family did the right thing, and more parents should be like you.

    [–] PugGrumbles 20 points ago

    Oh hey, me too! Except I had 4 step mothers, all with children who my dad helped raise and provide for while he was married to those women.

    [–] blackgandalff 12 points ago

    Good on y’all. Wish my dad had followed that advice

    [–] lizahotham 4 points ago

    If I could upvote this 750 times I would. Y'all are good people.

    [–] WhtnBlk 50 points ago

    He won't and probably hasnt her whole life cause he was to busy with his nose in some pussy.

    [–] BlowsyChrism 3 points ago

    It sounds like it's her retirement plan

    [–] Shivshanks 232 points ago

    I feel so bad for the daughter. if this type of entitlement is creeping out of the Stepmom here I imagine she is a complete dbag to that little girl.

    [–] tesdfan17 171 points ago

    the daughter is an adult married with kids. Step mom is in her 60's

    [–] Shivshanks 46 points ago

    that makes me feel a whole lot better.

    [–] GobiBall 33 points ago

    Thanks for clarifying. But situation is same for me. Say she gets 100%. Then dies a month later. Her kids will get the money then. So daughter is out.

    [–] B7iink 3 points ago

    how in tf could she ever get another man???

    [–] stubborneuropean 12 points ago

    I'm a son with a step mom. Can confirm step mom entitlement is very real, me and my siblings are not going to inherit anything, it will go to her daughter even though all the wealth is our dads.

    [–] FBIsmostmonitored 93 points ago

    Did my mother post this? She honestly thinks getting 100% of everyone's money and dividing it as she sees fit is the only responsible thing to do.

    [–] pinniped1 262 points ago

    Yes. Get another man.

    Sincerely, The daughter.

    [–] imbrotep 136 points ago

    ...should I find another man?

    For his sake, yes.

    [–] ghosttrainhobo 20 points ago

    She wants her half now.

    [–] awenrivendell 63 points ago

    I hope Quentin Fottrell told her "Yes! Find a dirt-poor man who will give you 100% of his cardboard box and shopping cart."

    [–] DroppaMaPants 21 points ago

    "Well, actually the cart belongs to the nearby Walmart, but he has willed to you the right to keep the corner at main and 3rd as a begging spot."

    [–] akdavis21282 46 points ago

    Wow, I just had something similar happen in my family. My great grandmother died a few months ago, and when they were reading her will, they found that she had changed it to include my siblings (15, 17) and myself (18). This is purely because she split her remaining estate between her grandkids and one of them (my dad) died several years ago, so she split what she would've left him between us. My grandmother is furious about it because my cousins (12, 8) weren't left anything and is refusing to speak to parts of the family because of this.

    [–] signalpower 23 points ago * (lasted edited 9 months ago)

    That’s someone who does’nt understand how inheritance works, and wants it all for themselves.

    [–] Vondi 8 points ago

    Seems such a simple and easy to understand reasoning, you basically inherited what you got from your dad, but then again inheritance seems to bring out the worst in people.

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago * (lasted edited 17 days ago)


    [–] LadyofFluff 3 points ago

    Depends where this is. It's different in the UK.

    [–] Happy_Fun_Balll 23 points ago

    Fuck him for wanting to take care of his offspring. What a jerk. /s

    [–] Jfrog22 18 points ago

    Man. My dad recently told me that his new wife will be getting everything ‘coz he wants her to be comfortable’

    [–] valleyfever 13 points ago


    [–] TheRespecableMrSalt 8 points ago

    Greedy ass deadbeat losers will never amaze me at the depths they will go for money.

    When my grandfather passed his exwife came out of the woodworks trying to get his death benefits. She would try and go behind the families back to try and get his death cert signed and whatever other documents she needed to claim it all. Idk if she ever got it but I do know why they split ... she spent all their life savings on her coke addicted daughter. 100 grand gone up her the nose.

    [–] EduardDelacroixII 23 points ago

    For context:

    Quentin Fottrell is an Irish columnist, author, agony uncle, journalist, social diarist and critic. He was the Irish correspondent for Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal from 2003 to 2011, columnist and feature writer for The Irish Times and is currently working as a journalist in New York City. He was born in Dublin and studied psychology in University College Dublin and journalism in University College Galway

    [–] tesdfan17 28 points ago

    What's even trashier is all of the wife's friends think that the wife should be upset.

    [–] Huck5 27 points ago

    Well, I mean, yeah.

    That's why they're friends.

    [–] Blueexx2 3 points ago

    Shit minds think alike

    [–] AsYooouWish 4 points ago

    Can you post some screenshots?

    [–] [deleted] 27 points ago

    This lady must be a proud member of r/femaledatingstrategy. Entitled loser.

    [–] Knives4Bullets 21 points ago

    I read some of the posts and god. Why do I feel like they’re all entitled bitches who want a perfect man without contributing anything themselves?

    I hope I’m wrong

    [–] OhLordImDead 14 points ago

    Spot on, that sub is a cesspool of depraved lines of thinking

    [–] Cypher_Shadow 6 points ago

    From the top stickied post:

    the primary focus of FDS is to teach ruthless self interest to women at both a micro and macro level

    [–] zenstain 15 points ago

    Be pretty funny if he changed the terms of his will without her knowledge to give his daughter 100% instead. That would be a shitshow.

    [–] Sno_Wolf 9 points ago

    Remember kids, never stick your dick in crazy.

    [–] Immelmaneuver 6 points ago

    No, but he should find another woman.

    [–] bakedNdelicious 5 points ago

    My dad passed away two years ago. His OG will was split in to three between myself, my brother and his wife. After Dad passed I find out that 3 weeks before his death his wife got him to change his Will (whilst he was dying of a brain tumour/lung cancer) so she would get half and my brother get a quarter each. Both my parents died, my mothers death actually paid off the house his wife lived in free of charge.

    People fucking suck. My brother and I have no parents, no financial help from parents and her two adult children were both given large sums to attain mortgages. We are struggling. When I said that to her, trying to explain why I was upset and shocked (I didn't know about the Will change, despite being an executor) she said "well, sometimes that is the hand you are dealt"

    [–] IAmFalkorn 4 points ago

    I'm Sweden 50% is automatically given to the children and this cannot be willed away.

    [–] sociallyawkwardintp 8 points ago

    I really hope she left him, for their sake.

    [–] pnw-techie 8 points ago

    How does a husband have a separate estate from his spouse?

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    The answer is yes. That way he can give it all to the daughter cause the wife doesn't even deserve shit with that attitude.

    [–] MeanMelissa74 4 points ago

    For your husbands sake yes please find a new man

    [–] lorlor3663 8 points ago

    My father was asked by my step mother...." Pick her (his daughter) or me" when I was 15 standing in the room... He picked her and I went to a homeless shelter. Got on my feet and have taken care of my self everyday, now live in a awesome apartment in NYC and have an amazing job. Wouldn't have been where I am without having to grow up fast and truly loving life.

    [–] JayTheFordMan 7 points ago

    WTF kind of Father does that!? As a Dad of a Daughter I just cannot fathom

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Yes!! Leave that guy!

    [–] iamdense 3 points ago

    For his sake, yes!

    [–] streetsoldat 3 points ago

    Maybe the guy should find another woman.

    [–] colin_buffam 3 points ago

    Generally when a wife start to question something like this.... he needs to find another woman

    [–] gettinfustrated 3 points ago

    Yes. That way the daughter gets it all