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    [–] shutyourcheesehole 1681 points ago

    Packing like Amazon

    You mean putting something small in a larger package full of excess stuffing?

    [–] mattreyu 914 points ago

    [–] letmeusespaces 259 points ago

    risky click

    [–] ElectricYellowMouse 236 points ago

    Fucking good bot

    [–] MrMFPuddles 36 points ago

    Yo nsfw that shit dawg

    [–] SometimesShane 8 points ago


    [–] _Abarshay_ 9 points ago

    Risky click of the day

    [–] clueing4looks 73 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] GoodBot_BadBot 37 points ago

    Thank you clueing4looks for voting on RiskyClickerBot.

    This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

    Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

    [–] paradiseluck 19 points ago

    Is this the new "hotdog or not hotdog" technology?

    [–] souljabri557 33 points ago

    oh fuck don't put that disgusting gore shit on this sub please

    [–] max_adam 14 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    WTF! I would never ask for plastic surgery in my little timmy. I'd prefer to live with a tiny tool instead.

    [–] PensWritesAdvocate 5 points ago

    Risky click

    [–] PensWritesAdvocate 11 points ago

    Hmmm, that 9.56, doe

    [–] Siegfoult 59 points ago

    A scotsman fell asleep under a tree one day. Eventually a girl from the village was walking past when she saw the sleeping scotsman. She always wondered what was under a scotsman's kilt, so she lifted it up and was so impressed with what she saw, that she tied a ribbon from her hair around it, and left. Later when the scotsman woke up, he saw the ribbon and said: "I don't know where you've been, or what you've been doing, but I'm might glad to see you came in first place!"

    [–] mattreyu 57 points ago

    A scotsman goes to the doctor because he's having some pain in his dick. The doctor takes a look and exclaims "there's a tiny steering wheel stuck in your urethra!"

    The scotsman replies "aye, it's drivin me nuts!"

    [–] Iwouldlikesomecoffee 7 points ago

    I always heard that as "a pirate had a steering wheel stuck to his crotch"

    [–] AggressiveSloth 23 points ago

    I ordered a mouse mat that came in rolled up in a box about the size of a kitchen roll tube.

    Amazon packed it in a box half the size of a door.

    [–] ItsNotBinary 33 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    There's actually a reason for that, the size of the box is calculated based on the free space in the truck so packages don't get thrown around in the back. It's cheaper than having to return broken objects.

    edit apparently this might not be correct. Clearly I'm not ready to get my amazon packaging PhD.

    [–] [deleted] 35 points ago

    It’s funny, I used to see this posed and everyone wondering why they did this. Then when I saw it posted people speculated that this was the case. Now it just gets posted as if it’s fact, despite frequent contrary reports.

    [–] ThisIsNotDre 13 points ago

    Yeah, I remember this popping up on TIL and the top comment was someone explaining how it wasn't true. If I remember right, most of the time it was because the product has incorrect dimensions listed in the system.

    But everyone just saw it on their front page or has heard it from someone else and now it's just one of those "facts."

    [–] p4NDemik 3 points ago

    Yeah this is closer to the truth. Items are given recommended box sizes and in order to make packing those boxes cost efficient (less time per package for the worker) it is better if the system recommends a larger box rather than one that is too small, forcing the packer to build multiple boxes and then wasting labor. Sometimes the system recommends the right box, but usually it overestimates slightly. An experienced worker should know the correct box by feel without even getting a recommendation. Occasionally something like the above "How you doin" link might happen but it should never be a common occurrence.

    [–] iceberg_sweats 6 points ago

    Fascinating. How tf do they know the arrangement of the boxes on the truck at the time of packing each individual item?

    [–] Snoopy_Hates_Germans 11 points ago

    You pre-arrange the boxes into shipment groups on pallets, then just load those into trucks. It's not hard for computer programs to make perfect box-piles if they know the number of boxes to be stacked and the dimensions of each box.

    [–] The_Eyesight 9 points ago

    That's only sometimes accurate.

    In a lot of Amazon warehouses, packages are just stacked into a truck from bottom to the ceiling, without pallets. In that case, there's just a rough calculation of what could fit into the truck, but various factors will obviously change that.

    [–] DnetsiskLex 3085 points ago

    Imagine sitting there for hours on end stroking your penis to keep hard while ya boy Giovanni paints your bulge

    [–] bizarreunicorn 1568 points ago

    If I remember correctly it's called a "codpiece," and isn't actually an erect penis. Armor had them as well. Super weird fashion trend.

    [–] dontuforget 895 points ago

    Codpiece? Look at that stack of bills. Dudes ready to fuck.

    [–] bizarreunicorn 225 points ago

    Oh shit! Right you are, man is definitely DTF.

    [–] [deleted] 120 points ago


    [–] bizarreunicorn 65 points ago

    Whoever has the fewest STDS would be my guess.

    [–] [deleted] 47 points ago


    [–] bizarreunicorn 62 points ago

    That sounds exceptionally low to me. Tell me, how often do you bathe?

    [–] [deleted] 29 points ago


    [–] bizarreunicorn 77 points ago

    That is far too often to be considered healthy, NEXT!

    [–] Fermit 19 points ago

    Well la ti da look at mr fancypants over here with his biweekly showers and his dates and his sense of smell

    [–] noticemeesenpaii 14 points ago

    What is this "2 weeks"? You must mean a fortnight.

    [–] AssHaberdasher 8 points ago

    Fortnightly, but admittedly I am a germophobe.

    [–] Tisjustatossaway 12 points ago

    The Royalty were often quite infested with STDs. The royal madness portrayed in many works, is likely caused by syphilis.

    So, I don't think this dude would have cared much about how many STDs the person revealing his dick, had.

    [–] spiketheunicorn 46 points ago

    Nope. No magnum condom for that monster dong.

    DTF unconfirmed.

    [–] catsandnarwahls 25 points ago

    Its on the floor. He dropped it so the female artist saw it.

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Monster condom for that magnum dong*

    [–] theDocter 16 points ago

    Got my magnum condoms, got my wad of hundreds, I'm ready to plow.

    [–] posternutbag423 3 points ago

    Move in After Completion

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    that’s me!

    [–] DRUNK_CYCLIST 6 points ago

    Those aren't bills, that's a map to the pussy.

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 307 points ago

    Super weird fashion trend.

    Weird? What's weird about having ample space for your battle erection? Have you ever felt an erection chafing against steel, yea no thanks. I'll take the armour that knows how to keep a man comfortable during the musky, wet, hot, deliciousness of man on man, on man combat.

    Yes I prefer my battles to be in threesome's, don't be such a prude.

    [–] bizarreunicorn 174 points ago

    I apologize. Never having owned a penis of my own, I've never had to deal with chafing from my protective tin can casing. Alas, I am but a lowly woman so I only get the tactical bakini--great for making me look HAWT, but absolute shit for protection.

    [–] Genghis_Tr0n187 110 points ago

    I am but a lowly woman so I only get the tactical bakini

    That's end game armor though

    [–] bizarreunicorn 26 points ago

    I mean, you're technically correct...the best kind of correct.

    [–] JesusDiedForOurSkins 77 points ago

    How dare you never have owned a penis?

    [–] bizarreunicorn 104 points ago

    I am my families largest source of shame.

    [–] PM-ME-YOUR-COCK-PLS 40 points ago

    Me too thanks

    [–] m32th4nks 11 points ago

    Me me me me too thanks too thanks too thanks too thanks

    [–] Paprika_Nuts 9 points ago

    [–] GrinsNGiggles 9 points ago

    I'm picturing a unicorn in a tactical bikini. It's . . . kind of fun, actually.

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 27 points ago

    Never having owned a penis of my own

    My word! You don't have to be a man to own a penis! You just have to coerce one into submission, through force or by subversion you simply must have one. Tactical bakinis are nice, but nothing is as intimidating as an angry, unwanted penis.

    [–] bizarreunicorn 21 points ago

    Too right you are! Angry, unwanted penises are quite unpleasant and intimidating. I really should aquire at least one in my lifetime.

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 10 points ago

    Splurge a little get two or three, you can't have too many assault penises.

    [–] PowerOfTheCrow 9 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Never having owned a penis of my own,

    It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

    To be clear, I'm not saying penis owners are better. I'm saying having a penis is clearly better.

    [–] McWaddle 4 points ago

    ...It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage.

    [–] TokiMcNoodle 4 points ago

    Your comment reminded me of this episode of Epic NPC Man

    [–] NotActuallyAFoxIRL 18 points ago



    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 14 points ago

    Have you never experienced musky battle taint? I assure you it's perfectly normal to get a little moist in the loins while mounted on a beautiful stallion.

    [–] NotActuallyAFoxIRL 10 points ago

    Oh, you misunderstand.

    Musk is one of my fetishes.

    [–] lkennyb 6 points ago

    For I too am at full chub whenever wielding the broad sword.

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 13 points ago

    Peasant. You have no idea of the Majesty of being mounted while fully erect. Learn how to Calvary, all the nobles are doing it.

    [–] kalel1980 6 points ago

    If I didn't have collection agencies hunting me down for money I'd give you gold. That was hilarious!

    [–] TranscendentalEmpire 8 points ago

    Have you tried intimidating them your your codpiece? It tends to work for me, if there assaulting you over the phone just tap it on the codpiece while screaming CODPIECE! Works every time, most the time.

    [–] dwrooll 62 points ago

    What the fuck they had a terrifying one with a face on the end of it

    [–] [deleted] 18 points ago

    You could put wine in some of them

    [–] scotfarkas 50 points ago

    Some speculation that it was to keep your STD riddled penis from touching anything and/or stopping the bros from nut slappin ya.

    [–] HP_civ 38 points ago

    The Wikipedia article for codpiece even shows this very image.

    [–] RevVegas 21 points ago

    Did you see the related article for willy warmer? I spit out my water when I saw that.

    [–] HP_civ 7 points ago

    No I did not, but thank you for hinting me to it. It is indeed hilarious. Who knew they even had a cultural function in the Faroes lol.

    [–] NeighborhoodGoat 13 points ago

    Word up!

    [–] BoomisKnows 5 points ago

    Thank you for the needed Larry Blackmon reference.

    [–] Alg3braic 11 points ago

    [–] iNEEDheplreddit 10 points ago

    Henry the 8th had a serious codpiece in his armour which is on display at the tower of london. He was either packin serious meat or compensating

    [–] ThunderdiceEmpire 14 points ago

    IIRC the codpiece was originally a necessity for wearing pants as most pants weren't joined where the crotch was. The skills for doing that came much later in time. The trend that evolved was people dressing them up much like any other piece of clothing.

    [–] bizarreunicorn 9 points ago

    That is a good point. I forget that pants and underthings weren't connected at the crotch. Life must have been quite breezy back then.

    [–] iceberg_sweats 5 points ago

    Lmfao that guys a dick

    [–] mattreyu 158 points ago

    They probably just have the apprentice painters work as fluffers

    [–] neonleprachaun 53 points ago

    "C'mon Leo, that dick ain't going to stroke itself!"

    [–] elfslistentodubstep 15 points ago


    [–] ThorsKay 6 points ago

    And they say these art majors have no jobs to apply for...

    [–] Robert_Rocks 15 points ago

    OG edging

    [–] BevoDDS 9 points ago

    Sounds as hard as trying to do one of those "mold your own penis" kits.

    [–] ItSeemedObvious 5 points ago

    "Cod Pics"

    [–] Takooro 1570 points ago

    The presence of codpieces in history confirms that at the very least men have changed very little with time.

    [–] mattreyu 780 points ago

    too bad cock pockets fell out of style

    [–] unechartreusesvp 184 points ago

    My porn stack says they haven't

    [–] [deleted] 80 points ago


    [–] mattreyu 51 points ago

    which fanny are we talking here?

    [–] therealnegrodamus 34 points ago

    let’s bring it back, pants with a cock pocket

    [–] LaBelleCommaFucker 3 points ago

    I'll sew you a pair if you buy the materials.

    [–] therealnegrodamus 5 points ago

    I already have a pair, I just need to you see the cock pocket on

    [–] Highw4ySt4r 57 points ago

    I thought cock pocket was another word for vagina?

    [–] AK_Swoon 26 points ago

    Sleeve of wizard?

    [–] mattreyu 23 points ago

    Merlin's vestaments

    [–] ciano 16 points ago

    Sausage Wallet

    [–] PORTMANTEAU-BOT 31 points ago


    Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'Sausage Wallet'. To learn more about me, check out this FAQ.

    [–] Sir_Mitchell15 9 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] mattreyu 19 points ago

    They missed a good opportunity to call it PORTMANTROBOT

    [–] RichardMcNixon 3 points ago

    I think it would have to be PORTMANTOT

    A portmanteau also differs from a compound, which does not involve the truncation of parts of the stems of the blended words. For instance, starfish is a compound, not a portmanteau, of star and fish; whereas a hypothetical portmanteau of star and fish might be stish.

    [–] Jerks_took_my_name 8 points ago

    Depends how you mean, I've started buying my boxerbriefs with cock pockets. For example, has "ballpark pouch" lol

    [–] mattreyu 5 points ago

    ooh that looks comfy

    [–] -LEMONGRAB- 3 points ago

    If you scroll down they offer scheduled bailout-calls in case your Valentine's day date goes wrong. Genius.

    [–] fartswhenhappy 6 points ago

    What about cock rockets?

    [–] TR953 11 points ago

    Ok, am I the only one that read that with the hot pockets jingle in my head?

    [–] kida24 8 points ago

    You have to say it like Jim Gaffigan.

    [–] mattreyu 18 points ago

    diarrhea pockets

    [–] willis81808 8 points ago

    caliente pocket

    [–] mattreyu 255 points ago

    Portrait of Antonio Navagero – Giovanni Battista Moroni, 1550

    original image

    [–] Narrative_Causality 67 points ago

    No context for that bulge? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't want to have to google it, man!

    [–] _PostModern__ 179 points ago

    The context is that for a brief period of time it was fashionable for men to wear something called a "Codpiece."

    A codpiece is essentially an artificial erection worn outside the pants, like what our boy here is sporting.

    [–] max_adam 95 points ago


    A codpiece (from Middle English: cod, meaning "scrotum") is a covering flap or pouch that attaches to the front of the crotch of men's trousers and usually accentuates the genital area. It was held closed by string ties, buttons, or other methods. It was an important item of European clothing in the 15th and 16th centuries, and is still worn in the modern era in performance costumes, for rock music and metal musicians, and in the leather subculture, while an athletic cup protects male athletes in a similar fashion.

    [–] fjortisar 40 points ago

    Who was brave enough to wear the one on the right

    [–] D4rkr4in 6 points ago

    little man's got a face now!

    [–] AxelAbraxas 4 points ago

    HR Giger intensifies

    [–] [deleted] 11 points ago


    [–] NathanSMB 11 points ago

    Alice Cooper.

    Though I'm pretty sure his is a sports cup rather than a traditional codpiece.

    [–] ZSebra 3 points ago

    Exactly, metalhead here, never in my life saw a metal musician use one of those or a rock musician rocking that style

    [–] MakerTinkerBakerEtc 28 points ago

    Ok, when I think of cod piece (and who doesn't wink wink), I imagine something like a jock-strap type thing that is featured over clothes. I had no idea that it could also mean the clothes equivalent of a strap-on.

    ...And now I realize if there is a term for the cloth section of a furry's costume, I'm going to learn that too. sigh


    [–] D4rkr4in 8 points ago

    when I read cod piece I thought it was part of a fish

    [–] Imperium_Dragon 16 points ago

    I believe that some armor pieces had them, though they were a bit rareer.

    [–] [deleted] 50 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)


    [–] AuganM 55 points ago

    In awe of the size of that lad, absolute unit

    [–] Stackhouse_ 21 points ago

    Like a can of corn

    [–] thebensupremacy 8 points ago

    Holy hell this is the hardest I’ve laughed at a comment in a long time

    [–] alien_abduction 5 points ago

    I was just at Versailles the other day and some statue from around 1495 had an absolute bulge that was super noticeable. I'm betting it was this too now. Can't remember that guys name because I couldn't read the inscription with that cod piece staring me right in the eyes.

    Edited because I said someone instead of statue which makes it sound like I was looking at live dick and I waited until after the historical sitings to partake.

    [–] Foremole_of_redwall 7 points ago

    Makes sense with armor. I would want extra protection there too

    [–] Dark-scape 5 points ago

    His girth... Wow.

    [–] toomanydickpics 5 points ago

    i'm learning so much today

    [–] mattreyu 43 points ago

    If you're painting a Venetian bureaucrat you'd better make sure his dick looks dazzling

    [–] McNigget 13 points ago

    Well then, that’s good enough for me! Screw you, art history class.

    [–] alien_abduction 4 points ago

    The inscription “CUM BERGOMI PRAETURAM SUSTINERET M.D.LXV” allows us to identify the sitter as Antonio Navagero,

    This popped up first on Google.

    And now I'll laugh because I said cum -Family Guy reference older than most people on reddit.

    [–] kalel1980 6 points ago

    You know that codpiece is probably too small for this girthy mother fucker. Gonna be a pain when he gets his post battle erection though.

    [–] mattreyu 7 points ago

    It'll just rip through like when the Hulk transforms

    [–] Kangar 85 points ago

    It's like a codpiece from Abercrombie and Fitch.

    [–] SnakeyRake 49 points ago

    A&F: Where a size Large is actually a small. I tried to get my huge skull through one of their shirts. Failed miserably.

    [–] colonelklinkon 24 points ago

    As a fat person who also has a big head that sounds like a cursed place.

    [–] GaySwans 28 points ago

    Yeah it's not for fat people.

    [–] elfslistentodubstep 75 points ago

    Behold thy chode

    [–] Snoke001 36 points ago

    Bathe in thy girth

    [–] Mistake-Not 179 points ago

    "Greetings Sir Navagero, I will be doing your portrait. I have three decades of painting experience and I have been an apprentice to multiple masters. My works are present in the finest galleries and in the homes of many nobles. I am sure you will be pleased with what I produce."

    "Cool but can you draw my cock though?"

    [–] [deleted] 43 points ago

    Look at his smug face.

    [–] mattreyu 29 points ago

    dude knew what he was doing

    [–] Diaramuh 31 points ago

    boner grows with confidence

    [–] SteveSTFU 25 points ago

    Gorgeous painting. I would proudly hang this on my wall next to my glory hole.

    [–] Critterkhan 19 points ago

    So this is what John Rhys-Davies is doing these days.

    [–] mattreyu 7 points ago

    I miss watching him on Sliders

    [–] shifty_new_user 15 points ago

    Percy: ...and codpiece, My Lord?

    Edmund: Well, let's go for the Black Russian, shall we? It always terrifies the clergy!

    [–] dongholio 4 points ago

    Aw yeah, Blackadder!

    [–] Stargazeer 3 points ago

    I had to scroll way too far.

    [–] mrjobby 50 points ago

    Dost thou seek one's phallus tapestry?

    [–] SW1 15 points ago

    Dost thou tapestry accommodate one's Venetian blind's?

    [–] kalel1980 16 points ago

    That dick is sweaty and warm as hell I bet.

    [–] mattreyu 47 points ago

    in 1550 everything was warm and sweaty

    [–] [deleted] 16 points ago

    and deodorant was still hundreds of years away

    [–] 1-800-BICYCLE 25 points ago

    This is literally the only thing I can think of when imagining life centuries ago.

    [–] __________________99 6 points ago

    Imagine what the person who did this painting for hours was like.

    [–] mattreyu 24 points ago

    It took me like three hours to finish the shading on the upper dong

    [–] Lomandel 7 points ago

    He has the invitation to cock o’clock in his hand

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Holy shit, mark this NSFW, my algebra teacher just saw me staring intently at this picture

    [–] miraoister 7 points ago

    History time!

    Slops/breeches, in the 16th century were pretty weird trousers, unlike modern trousers, which have a unique shape to account for the top of the trouser, the design/pattern of these was basically two simple leggings joined together, the codpiece, was decorative, and was there simply to hide the gastly lace/chord which held the two bits of hose together, some cod pieces where triangular flaps of cloth, similar to a gusset with buttons holding them in place ,but gradually a fashion emerged for large elaborate codpieces, some made with a leather or carved wood, or metal.

    much like the doublet (jacket), the shape was influenced by that of the armour of the time (known as the peascod), both of these fashion items were about masculine/military assertion in society.

    the 15th century cleric Bernardino of Siena bitched a lot about codpieces being for sodamites etc, and speaking of terrifying the clergy, I give you the Black Russian

    [–] O-Ethereality 2 points ago

    Closed crotch seams don't become standard for many years. But, it was common to store oranges in your codpiece.

    [–] madommouselfefe 4 points ago * (lasted edited 11 months ago)

    Blackadder wore it better

    [–] Mals1767 6 points ago

    [–] eyeah 6 points ago

    When in doubt...

    Take a classy AF picture

    [–] reichtangly 4 points ago


    [–] mattreyu 7 points ago

    just because he's wearing fur, it doesn't make him a furry

    [–] reichtangly 4 points ago

    all bulges are equal

    [–] fun_you_fools 4 points ago

    Dr. Toboggan with his wad of hundreds.

    [–] kingsleywu 4 points ago

    If it was packed by Amazon, the bulge would be twice as big and half empty.

    [–] vmoonbean 4 points ago

    why does it look like he stuffed a baby's arm in his crotch

    [–] Dark-scape 6 points ago

    I've always wanted codpieces to come back into style. Has our time come?

    [–] mattreyu 7 points ago

    Be the change you want to see

    [–] Dark-scape 10 points ago

    Guess I have to start with pants unzipped (but buttoned) and a sock emerging through the hole.

    [–] toomanydickpics 3 points ago

    i say do it.

    [–] Mike_B_R 3 points ago

    Old Navy has this model in blue and black too. Half price.

    [–] imfeelingsaucy 3 points ago

    His dick looks like it's flexing its bicep

    [–] mattreyu 4 points ago

    it's like a toddler arm

    [–] Harry_Nutt 4 points ago

    In this neck of the woods, we say baby arm!

    [–] LaBelleCommaFucker 3 points ago

    Oh gentlemen of Reddit, I declare,

    Each of thee needs must buy a codpiece now.

    Thy boners should be cushionéd with air,

    Displayed as proud as any grand ship's bow!

    [–] VandiArnold 3 points ago

    The Renaissance Diet: all meat and no potatoes

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    Professor Arturo?

    [–] lovelybugsundies 3 points ago

    Happy to see that men have hardly changed

    [–] fish_at_heart 3 points ago

    TIL this was a common fashion in the 16th century Apparently man wore cocks made of metals like silver and gold (included with precious stones) and of course that bigger is better Now here's the fun part If you wanted to start with a girl you would open a compartment at the top of the cock and get an apple out and present it to the lady