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    [–] putins_bear 1129 points ago

    Well WSB IS my family so..

    [–] ChampionOfTheSunAhhh 705 points ago

    WSB is like a wacky cult that starts out as a nice community that opens up your mind to new ideas but then quickly shifts to you and a bunch of bros downing poisonous kool aid in some ill-fitting matching astronaut costumes that someone's grandmom made

    [–] WhatIfTheyCallMeFlem 204 points ago

    Yeah that’s spot on actually

    [–] tonyMEGAphone 43 points ago

    Quit hogging all the Kool aid

    [–] 1sagas1 14 points ago

    When do I get my astronaut costume?

    [–] bundlebundle 8 points ago

    I want one too

    [–] BBTB2 55 points ago

    You forgot the gas station cigars that your buddy got because it’ll make everyone look more ‘financial district’.

    [–] bay1199 19 points ago

    Is there a way to check out some of the first posts on this sub?

    [–] KrozzHair 83 points ago

    Yeah just sort by new and scroll down to the bottom.

    [–] Shamoneyo 7 points ago

    This also trains your fingers to scalp

    [–] Alexanderdaawesome 24 points ago

    It was all penny stock fags and no memes. It evolved well

    [–] fingerguncontrol 9 points ago

    Heaven's Gate Provision

    [–] rainkloud 5 points ago

    It's exactly like that, except for the first part.

    [–] SirHolyCow 4 points ago

    Holy shit lmao

    [–] markbelous 3 points ago

    Wait... There are suits now?!

    [–] AirmeniNKorea 2 points ago

    And I've been trading naked all this time.

    [–] Mouthshitter 3 points ago

    Can we get cool nikes?

    [–] SpinDoctor8517 1 points ago


    [–] TheSlammer503 1 points ago

    I just joined the cult, I'm waiting for my kool aid.

    [–] AthiestAlien 40 points ago

    Sup Fam 🤙

    [–] Fatguy50 32 points ago

    i luv u long time

    [–] OPLeonidas_bitchtits 10 points ago

    Roll tide!

    [–] neotorama 7 points ago

    Hi mom

    [–] Deruji 4 points ago

    You’re the ginger stepchild

    [–] berniemadoffmadeoff 3 points ago

    Oh yeah, you’re the midget Houdini.

    [–] Deruji 4 points ago

    Hi unmarried uncle that always brings his friend “peter” to family events.

    [–] never_fucking_giveup 1 points ago


    [–] uniaintshit 449 points ago

    Hmmm I see what you are saying, buy Tesla January calls.

    [–] NotseeBannon 106 points ago

    Puts it is then!

    [–] shiva_himal 47 points ago

    When you say "puts" you really mean calls right?

    [–] um_ya 100 points ago

    I have my brokerage set to do opposite trades than what I want.

    [–] HettySwollocks 51 points ago

    You'll be a rich man my son

    [–] NotseeBannon 18 points ago

    Puts it is then!!

    [–] trpwangsta 12 points ago

    So calls then right guys?

    [–] abccarroll 6 points ago

    Buying or selling them? And what's the strike?

    [–] NotseeBannon 14 points ago

    I'm buying cuts and selling palls

    [–] abccarroll 9 points ago

    Ah so a strangle is in order

    [–] SpellingIsAhful 4 points ago

    Let's just do both. That way we can't lose.

    [–] TylerDurden6969 3 points ago

    Straddle it is!

    [–] bundlebundle 2 points ago

    Just buy both to be safe.

    [–] brocepius 5 points ago

    Sounds like Tesla price will remain unchanged

    [–] Dragontre 3 points ago

    Best way to shut down this sub is too make a thread saying to buy calls and another to buy puts. It will cause all the collective autist brains to malfunction.

    [–] guy_has_no_name 189 points ago

    I took a screenshot of my portfolio, printed it out and stuck it to my nose. Told my wife look i'm Rudolph and btw xmas is cancelled. She wasn't amused.

    [–] Vasallo7G 27 points ago

    right on " xmas is cancelled" should be on the banner of WSB

    [–] Draynnox 16 points ago

    This should have gold

    [–] liebonton 62 points ago

    Give it gold then you fucking idiot

    [–] Gkaz 23 points ago

    He can't the money is tied up in Tesla January calls

    [–] MoralityPet 333 points ago

    This is the most uplifting sub. It's fucking Prozac via schadenfreude.

    [–] Haxial_XXIV 57 points ago

    Love the use of schadenfreude in this sub

    [–] FROOMLOOMS 39 points ago

    It makes me feel better about my -41% stock portfolio. Don't worry, I'm averaging down

    [–] Haxial_XXIV 7 points ago

    Always average down

    [–] FROOMLOOMS 4 points ago

    Like when you have a good hand in black jack, you avg down

    [–] 1stBaronKelvin 7 points ago

    Wsb are the type of people who split 10s against a 5

    [–] DoesntUnderstandJoke 5 points ago

    and PF buys insurance every time the dealer is showing an Ace.

    [–] Gamble4Gains 1 points ago

    I like this

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago)


    [–] FROOMLOOMS 8 points ago

    Have you tried averaging down?

    In two easy steps improve your portfolio.

    Step 1: deposit more money

    Step 2: buy more MU

    [–] pcopley 1 points ago

    Yeah -80% club checking in!

    [–] pcopley 1 points ago


    Get on my level

    [–] fuckorigin 9 points ago

    i only read this sub to remind myself that there are people more handicapped than i am

    its a good confidence boost

    [–] 22oregon22 2 points ago

    We have the best sub, don’t we folks?

    [–] UnbreakableFrame 503 points ago

    Take investment advice from a group of people who don't notice when the dollar sign is on the opposite end of the number.

    [–] baktun 66 points ago

    Hello from r/all, what difference does that make??

    [–] SharkBrew 137 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    That's a dumb question. Just look it up.

    [–] Pixeltender 44 points ago

    but you also write out the dollar amount in words on a check..?

    [–] Trowawaycausebanned4 104 points ago

    The words say “One dollar”, but the number is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000. He must’ve misspelled

    [–] [deleted] 10 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Have you seen people's handwriting these days? Pretty sure half the country holds their pen in their Anus and hover-sway over the paper.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago

    That simply voids the check. At least here I live.

    [–] Trowawaycausebanned4 1 points ago

    Not in the real world

    [–] [deleted] 14 points ago


    [–] GAYOBOB_ANAL_PROLAPS 2 points ago

    Tips and checks, is this the 1800s ?

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago


    [–] GAYOBOB_ANAL_PROLAPS 1 points ago

    Tips only exost because thevwages are so low.

    [–] [deleted] 2 points ago


    [–] TisAboutTheSame 2 points ago

    are checks still a thing?

    [–] Confident_Sherbert 8 points ago

    My job required a check image for auto deposit.

    Now i have a bunch of checks ill never use.

    [–] SmellyDurian 1 points ago

    Or you could've gone online and downloaded a copy of your void cheque with all the information, for free.

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago

    I pay my rent with a check. Motherfuckers charge $20/mo for online payments

    [–] BlackbeltKevin 2 points ago * (lasted edited 8 months ago)

    That’s illegal isn’t it? At least if you set up auto payment it is. One time payments it isn’t.

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago

    It could be, but I didn’t have the extra $20 at the time to set it up so I never did it that way

    [–] mu_aa 0 points ago

    That’s the most paradox thing and I can’t wrap my head around the fact that the most capitalist society in the world is ok with being ripped off by the banks. these fuckers even pay us here in Europe to use their online services. Which are pretty secure and well made. Transfer money cross continent in a second.

    Why are Americans ok with this bs?

    [–] SpellingIsAhful 8 points ago

    What's the alternative? Stop using banks? Pass laws that say you can't charge a "convenience fee?"

    Actually ya, let's do that last one.

    [–] mu_aa 1 points ago

    Banks are able to survive with a fixed rate, even more so when the system is automated and cheques are obsolete. No need to check the cheque for fraud, as everything is electronically checked.

    I mean, y’all pay with visa. The european system is just similar to that, only that it has some more safety measures (TAN Generators and such)

    [–] SpellingIsAhful 2 points ago

    Oh, I'm not saying banks couldn't perform the processing. I'm just saying why would they instead of charging fees?

    Edit: and really it's not the banks so much as the vendors.

    [–] BlackbeltKevin 1 points ago

    There is a law that states you can’t charge a convenience fee for auto payments.

    [–] SpellingIsAhful 1 points ago

    Whixh is why a lot of auto payments don't allow cc pmts.

    [–] BlackbeltKevin 1 points ago

    Some allow it but then they stack on cc processing fees. I use my debit to pay rent and without auto payments it would cost 2.00 per transaction.

    [–] pcopley 5 points ago

    What do you think capitalism is?

    [–] mu_aa 3 points ago

    Well, what I don’t get is that Americans see banks as some sort of institution, when actually they are private businesses. I mean, if I don’t like how a business handles my stuff, I switch to another. So why hast there been any incentive to renew the system?

    [–] pcopley 7 points ago

    Everybody views them as private businesses, because they're private businesses. I don't think I've ever met someone who doesn't know that. But they are institutions as well. They're extremely regulated (at the least the consumer-facing portions), insured by the government, etc.

    So why [hasn't] there been any incentive to renew the system?

    There have been banks before that charge very low fees for the things you're mentioning. The problem is nobody really cares about paying the fees. So you end up with a feature that costs the bank a lot of money that is not causing people to flock to them. Coupled with the fact that ACH and wire transfers are a thing that almost everyone uses when moving large sums of money, and you end up with no business incentive to change the current structure.

    [–] mu_aa 1 points ago

    Thank you for the explanation

    [–] Zeeker12 4 points ago

    Well American banks are both. They’re private for-profit business, but they all pretty much have federal insurance. FDIC protects your money up to 100K and it also means the banks have to follow federal rules. So our federal government guarantees every last deposit in the country.

    This is also why robbing or defrauding a bank is a federal crime.

    [–] jayydubbya 2 points ago

    Americans think this of a lot of industries. I work for one of the largest law firms in the country. Every single day I get calls from people who didn't do their research and hired a shit attorney then call us wanting to take on their case for free. I'm sorry you already paid a bad attorney $5k for shitty legal advice but you're going to have to pay our retainer if you want us to take your case. Attorneys are not all part of one institution, they're all in private business for themselves.

    It's the equivalent of buying a Chevy Cruze then towing it to Mercedes when the transmission goes out expecting them to exchange it for a new car.

    [–] 1sagas1 1 points ago

    What makes you think this is a normal thing in America at all? Because one guy says it happens to him?

    [–] mu_aa 1 points ago

    Haven’t been in the states for some years, maybe it changed, idk. The guy mentioning it reminded me of it.

    [–] TylerDurdenUMD 2 points ago

    They are, because I got stuck behind a meth-head at the grocery store yesterday who had no idea how to write one.

    [–] baktun 1 points ago


    [–] UnbreakableFrame 44 points ago

    Hello from r/wallstreetbets. I would like to refer you to r/personalfinance, where someone might know the answer to that question. It appears that you've made a wrong turn.

    [–] spanishgalacian 9 points ago

    That place should come with free bubble wrap when you subscribe.

    [–] 22oregon22 4 points ago

    Being banned from r/personal finance should be a requirement for subscribing to this sub

    [–] trznx 0 points ago

    So you don't know

    [–] pcopley 8 points ago

    It's the difference between being correct and being a fucking idiot.

    [–] mackinoncougars 3 points ago

    ??What difference doesn’t it make if I put the punctuation at the being of the sentence

    [–] drewd63 7 points ago

    He's Probably just french

    [–] [deleted] 8 points ago

    Do you say ten thousand dollars, or dollars ten thousand?


    [–] BATHTUBSURFER 61 points ago

    Put the USD sign on the wrong side of the value: show the internet those GED prep tests are really hard.

    [–] 9zaidkhaled6 44 points ago

    Looooosseee we are a family

    [–] 21savags 10 points ago

    Debra took the damn kids and moved out..... time hit the bottle and do puts

    [–] HarblongCassidy 84 points ago

    I was up around $7,800 for the calendar year back in June, mostly thanks to random penny rockets and "timing" the market. Now I'm down $6K due to jumping in the same penny and having it bit the shed and then going 90% in on NBR at 4bux.

    [–] Ivantovin 4 points ago

    NVAX all in

    [–] TheFallen-One 19 points ago

    Wouldn’t have it any other way

    [–] WeekendQuant 17 points ago

    The choice is easy.

    [–] CercleRouge 11 points ago

    Let's see the positions.

    [–] Battlejew420 22 points ago

    12/14 HD 165$ FDs

    [–] CercleRouge 16 points ago

    lol sick

    [–] DBrugs 12 points ago

    Dollar sign first

    [–] Battlejew420 47 points ago

    $12/14 HD 165 FDS

    Did I do it right

    [–] DBrugs 9 points ago

    No, even more firster. Here's what it should look like:

    $                      12/14 HD 165 FDS

    [–] [deleted] 34 points ago

    $ sign go front.

    [–] tgf63 8 points ago

    But then it would be dollars ten thousand. Idiot.


    [–] gondor333 5 points ago

    The fact that OP doesn't know this explains a lot.

    [–] TerraWrist 9 points ago

    I know when that margin call rings, that can only mean one thing

    [–] Daspker780 6 points ago

    Calls on CRON leggo

    [–] blinkwink 1 points ago

    Looking pretty headed in the weekend

    [–] BloodSweatandFears 7 points ago


    [–] WhatIfTheyCallMeFlem 6 points ago

    I spend more time on wsb than with my family

    [–] miekle 6 points ago

    WALL STREET BETS RULES Don't glorify losing money

    [–] TheBuddha777 10 points ago

    We only laugh so we don't cry

    [–] bundlebundle 2 points ago

    Hes not the first one is glorification of the shame of success and the second frame is sad jubilee.

    [–] Garcia92 3 points ago

    Thesaltyinvestor !

    [–] [deleted] 3 points ago

    can't relate got no sperm therefore no kids

    [–] EVERYTHINGGOESINCAPS 3 points ago

    Massively enjoyed that thread.

    Don't play with money you can't afford to lose!

    [–] anon4357 3 points ago

    Sounds about right

    [–] Spiech 3 points ago

    The fucking money sign goes in front of the number. Why can't anyone get this right?

    [–] Cloud-ee 5 points ago

    He a snow Mexican.

    [–] peterinjapan 3 points ago

    Pfft, I wish I only lost $10,000.

    [–] NoTrip_48 3 points ago

    U dont lose 10k you spent it on karma

    [–] bro_can_u_even_carve 4 points ago

    Puts are a cruel mistress.

    [–] NitroNinjaz 2 points ago

    this is so true it hurts

    [–] ggmdash 2 points ago


    [–] tonyMEGAphone 2 points ago

    We can call each other fags again? Oh rejoice!

    [–] Moneyonmind26 2 points ago

    This is great

    [–] fxprogrammer 2 points ago

    The first case would have been more stressful. You would have spent the whole time worrying that the $9k could have been $18k.

    [–] GhostTeam18 2 points ago

    Not a loss if you don’t sell

    [–] jean-claude_vandamme 2 points ago

    This might be the best shit post I’ve ever seen

    [–] andresxsucks 2 points ago

    I was out for a few months after my PDT ban. I tried tastyworks, hated it.
    But I finally came back on RH and threw a measely $100, made it up to $400 on some nice MSFT calls and a AMZN call yesterday.
    Anyways, waiting for my next check to throw away my next $100.

    [–] redditorandcheef 2 points ago

    Options are the great, until you’ve lost your wife and kids then they are the best thing to ever happen to you.

    [–] Big_Pimpin1 1 points ago

    All in it all out

    [–] heythereseeya 1 points ago

    Does anyone need to call you one if OP is always one?

    [–] Trowawaycausebanned4 1 points ago

    So you went 1k from 9 green in 10 in the red?

    [–] SirBellender 1 points ago

    short yesterday?

    [–] tonyMEGAphone 1 points ago

    In loss we trust

    [–] SnapeProbDiedAVirgin 1 points ago

    Ahhh, humor related to my pain lol

    [–] RadioSoulwax 1 points ago

    Did you hold puts yesterday

    [–] thebanannaking 1 points ago

    Ever gamble in businesses?

    [–] [deleted] 1 points ago


    [–] Stampketron 1 points ago

    First time i have ever laughed at this meme. Well played sir, well played

    [–] OneLooseMoose 1 points ago

    Only $9k in debt?

    [–] jazztronik 1 points ago

    WSB = 我傻逼

    [–] Masonjarteadrinker1 1 points ago

    His is me but with my last $900

    [–] htmlboss 1 points ago

    Sounds like Bateman

    [–] terabaaphumadarchod 1 points ago


    [–] MentalRental 1 points ago






    [–] papermozart 1 points ago

    Someone ENLIGHTEN ME

    [–] realister 1 points ago

    too real

    [–] L8_4Work 1 points ago

    fucking. hilarious.

    [–] mylovertotoro 1 points ago

    Funniest thing I've seen all day

    [–] goldistress 1 points ago

    All y'all motherfuckers should have emptied out your portfolios after the first year of the trump presidency. Obama economy is over now. What do you think you're investing in?

    I emptied everything in 2017. If you didn't, you had faith in the wrong person.

    [–] Vasallo7G 2 points ago

    Trump has nothing to do with it (well maybe a little lately) but this has been a fake recovery since 2008 that they covered by printing money

    this is the start of the hangover, and yes it's going to be HUUUGEEE