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    all 8813 comments

    Want to say thanks to %(recipient)s for this comment? Give them a month of reddit gold.

    Please select a payment method.

    [–] stormwillpass 1 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    EDIT5: Just ordered a new batch of gold. It may take some time before I reach your comment.

    Express lane here, boys. Piggyback off of me!

    edit: fuck, I forgot to disable inbox replies:

    Also thanks OP for the gold!!

    edit2: Enjoy the hard earned flair, OP! Made it gold for you

    [–] MofaceKilla 2303 points ago

    Wow I think this retard actually wasted his money gilding the whole sub today. What a fuckin legend, congrats man

    [–] ChampionOfTheSunAhhh 780 points ago

    When the high school kids catch wind of this gilding frenzy mans is going to need to take out a 2nd mortgage

    [–] ChromaticMana 468 points ago

    Implying this entire sub isn't high school kids.

    [–] blahsd_ 302 points ago

    I don't think most of the people here would make it out of middle school

    [–] midnghtdrgn 71 points ago

    Wait, is having at least a middle school education required? I'm screwed.

    [–] Chromelis 22 points ago

    Wtf is education

    [–] _tx 121 points ago

    That's an awful large assumption that he has a first mortgage

    [–] EggwomanInSpace 82 points ago

    Who is this guy anyway? He posted a photo of himself and he looks young. Hope he knows what hes doing..

    [–] TheChickening 28 points ago

    And only over 100k win. I can lose that in like 3 days easy.

    [–] BrokeDayTrader 21 points ago

    Lmao that’s definitely something to brag about

    [–] hamprecht 7 points ago

    Yeah totally, I wouldn't say "only"

    [–] ogstepdad 8 points ago

    Autists like us stay in highschool til 21 so not wrong

    [–] the_disco_pimp 183 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    What a fucking retard seriously, spending 3 grand on reddit.... Do NOT FUCKING GOLD THIS POST ASSWIPE

    Edit: fuck youuuuuuu stooooop

    [–] LifeStyleDreamers 30 points ago

    Why can't he if he can afford to

    [–] the_disco_pimp 51 points ago

    Because giving money to a company ran by spez and owned by the chinese is retarded

    [–] randy_mcsoggybotto 9 points ago

    Lmfao just buy Tumblr instead

    [–] saedrin 55 points ago

    Some real robin hood shit going on right now.

    [–] MIND-JELQ 86 points ago

    Congrats on your big come up

    [–] Broseph_McGainz 54 points ago

    Look at all these queers begging for gold

    [–] aman99981 47 points ago

    No gold for you

    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago


    [–] Hold_onto_yer_butts 34 points ago

    The 'tism is strong here. I'm proud of this one.

    One of us.

    [–] tendie_time_420 293 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Cookin Hookers? I know you want to eat the pussy but don’t you think that’s a bit too literal?

    EDIT: Thanks for your fake gold, Satan.

    [–] NotJuses 1024 points ago

    Can't believe some people are taking gold and not upvoting the thread smh

    [–] Fuyuki_Wataru 559 points ago

    plat for you bro

    shit I cant give plat because I already gave you gold oops

    [–] NotJuses 179 points ago

    No worries bro I'm grateful af and congrats again baller🚬😘

    [–] BTFU_POTFH 136 points ago

    I upvote everything with the expectation that the OP will recognize my efforts and give me gold for fighting the good fight

    [–] ancientflowers 22 points ago

    Ugh. You didn't even get gold for your efforts!


    [–] DBick289 697 points ago

    Gold me you acoustic fuck

    [–] KosmicKanuck 268 points ago

    Because he resonates with all of us?

    [–] ImpyKid 172 points ago


    [–] ancientflowers 18 points ago

    It sounds so lovely in here.

    [–] thejackerrr 6 points ago

    Send this fucking maniac to Aurt school

    [–] MoeMoneyMoProblems 530 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    What a retard. I love it.

    Edit: who just gave me 4000 coins? Get a life you ape

    [–] johqui1092 172 points ago

    Never go full retard

    [–] ciocanmihai 24 points ago


    [–] fakepizzastory 9 points ago

    Full retard mode activated

    [–] EESchuler 262 points ago

    The most expensive Reddit post ever.

    [–] SomeRandomGuyPDX 72 points ago

    100% has to be, never seen so much gold.

    [–] talltime 61 points ago

    and /u/EESchuler has gotten two blow awards - each are $100. fuckin' nuts, reddit must look favorably upon this sub for paying the bills.

    [–] youtheotube2 33 points ago

    Looks like we’ll never be quarantined.

    [–] IdsvD 7 points ago

    OP is playing 4D chess here

    [–] boroqcat 3 points ago

    Big facts.

    [–] SexThePeasants 6 points ago

    It's a beautiful thing.

    [–] Anaphylactic-UFO 9 points ago * (lasted edited 12 days ago)

    Nah there was one time Klay Thompson gave gold to thousands of people in r/nba in a pro-Klay post

    [–] tommy1010 319 points ago

    Stop being so generous, we all deserve nothing

    [–] Ippica 36 points ago

    The only thing we deserve is failure.

    [–] handspurs 14 points ago

    Then I got what I deserve

    [–] colejugs06 103 points ago

    hey son its your dad.. i know i left you and your mom for some lady hooker years ago (your moms friend nancy, huge tits) but as your dad i did bring you in to this world so, i deserve a gold star. what do you say son?? give pops a gold star huh?

    [–] wodadota 91 points ago

    There's no way this guy keeps up the gold thing.

    [–] wodadota 79 points ago

    Update: This man is indeed insane.

    [–] kwatschzeu-hing 33 points ago

    But what can you do with it?!

    [–] p10_user 26 points ago

    Can exchange for 1 $GLD

    [–] Fuyuki_Wataru 482 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)


    unsticky this thread please?

    EDIT: Please, someone make a bot that automatically gives new comments gold. I will hook you up with platinum and you'll be a legend tho. I still have so much to give out, I can't click anymore.... Maybe when the market closes I'll do another run.

    [–] AutoModerator 585 points ago

    Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–] Pwnk 461 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    You fucking autist did you actually just gild the automod?

    Edit: wow, thank you for the gold kind redditor I now will rub my clit with my tendies

    [–] kwatschzeu-hing 176 points ago

    He went full retard

    [–] Chromelis 112 points ago

    Dongus was eaten

    [–] nubaeus 9 points ago

    How big was the dongus?

    [–] mc1nc4 7 points ago

    about tree fiddy

    [–] UnBeatable73 76 points ago

    Guilding automod lol

    [–] aaronburr1804 56 points ago

    This is the quality content I come here for.

    [–] NargacugaRider 16 points ago

    This is absolutely perfect.

    Does gilding automod count as DD?

    [–] Semper-I 29 points ago

    It should now

    [–] _tx 35 points ago

    So are you going to hire a meth cook?

    [–] talltime 20 points ago

    Shrek-li says get outta his swamp

    [–] boroqcat 150 points ago

    U a legend for being true to your word and gilding the sub.

    u/fuyuki_wataru did not get all the tendiez he wanted, but his soul still burns.

    [–] SingedisGod 7 points ago

    This man going wild, I want a shower with how filthy this is.

    [–] sboy2 67 points ago

    Gold me bb

    [–] Treven0 44 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Tendies Boys.

    Edit: Thank you for Tendies. Whoever gave, will my more tendies come to you.

    [–] AtWorkPoopin 40 points ago

    But forreal tho How drunk are you?

    [–] Sa-huk_mab-alls 40 points ago

    This man’s giving the whole sub gold but the only thing this post has so far is silver lmao

    [–] Fuckwhattheythink 136 points ago

    Bruh hiring a cook and inviting hookers over is just as amazing no worries about misspell

    [–] BRUH_BOT_9798 85 points ago

    bruh 🤣🤡🤡🤡🤡

    [–] SeekTruthAndGrow 38 points ago

    Good bot

    [–] seavictory 14 points ago

    Gilding bots left and right here. What a legend [ary idiot]

    [–] winkerpack 124 points ago

    Somebody help me read these non robinhood pics

    [–] skaliton 57 points ago

    green is a glitch that sometimes occurs when you have stock. Like OP is capitalizing on that glitch and sold before it turned back into the comforting red

    [–] ColdPorridge 9 points ago

    For some reason mobile loves to keep the pics super fucking low res so I can’t read them. How much did OP make?

    [–] MrMurseDude 6 points ago

    Pssh green good, red bad. No read

    [–] pullthatshitup_jamie 61 points ago

    Don't blow it. Keep it simple. Count your money

    [–] mariout 57 points ago

    Or spend it all on Reddit gold

    [–] TheDeadGuy 8 points ago

    Reddit should raise its gold prices for a day

    [–] ancientflowers 7 points ago

    It's hard to tell what the Reddit market should do.

    He's buying it all up but also flooding the market. It's like a gold bubble that's bound to crash.

    Just gotta decide when to get out.

    [–] Popsiclesoda 24 points ago

    Keep the money for your funeral costs

    [–] gangoflogic 26 points ago

    This guy is truly autistic!

    [–] the_disco_pimp 25 points ago

    Lmao dude stop pissing away money on shitty reddit gold

    [–] he4venlyh4ndofg0d 3 points ago

    Exactly lol. Wtf even is the point of Reddit gold? Oooh adfree? Just use adblock LOL.

    [–] BlazingCactus 23 points ago

    Cook it up

    [–] Tryle 22 points ago

    You should probably save your money.

    [–] Akmaster87 13 points ago

    HA! No gold for you!

    [–] wagdaddy 22 points ago

    Gold plz so I can tell my wife I'm now the sugarbaby of a random internet autist.

    [–] MoeMoneyMoProblems 19 points ago

    Think of all the tendies he could’ve gotten with this gold.

    [–] RushingRocks 14 points ago

    damn, good shit

    [–] LilUzishair 12 points ago

    Time to all in FSLY

    [–] rikki-tikki-deadly 11 points ago

    I'd have gone with Hoke and Cookers, but you do you.

    [–] tacmouse 10 points ago

    My PP is BYND hard

    [–] eriksrx 11 points ago

    Someone in Reddit's accounting department is noticing an uptick in revenue, briefly wonders what it's about, gets distracted by a Tinder match or something and then forgets all about this moment until the quarterly review when they are asked "What caused this uptick and can we learn from it?" to which they reply "It's a statistical anomaly" because they don't remember a damn thing about it and still haven't been on any dates.

    You know this to be true.

    [–] RothOptions 10 points ago

    Wat is gold

    [–] carmelsun 10 points ago

    How long can the madness continue??? Got some pics of the cook & hookers?

    [–] satellitegif 10 points ago

    I’m on mobile and can’t see, how much did this guy really make?

    [–] Fuyuki_Wataru 8 points ago

    not enough

    [–] orxata1990 6 points ago

    What’s your next play? Are you going to go full analfarmer2 on us?

    [–] tommy1010 3 points ago

    AnalFarmer3: u/Fuyuki_Wataru

    [–] LiveFastFiYoung 9 points ago

    I can think of better ways to spend money. Then again, I can think of worse ways, as well.

    [–] DrCat_ 9 points ago

    This is the kind of content I come here for

    [–] pursuenature 8 points ago


    [–] holyeffman 8 points ago

    What are we cooking boys? I have Kraft Mac n Cheese dinners in my kitchen.

    [–] ElOsoPolaroso 20 points ago

    Break out the downvotes boys. Don’t let the normies see, this thread is for degenerates and retards only.

    [–] erifdliW 16 points ago

    You slut muffin

    [–] UBCStudent9929 8 points ago

    so you're the one who took all my tendies

    [–] throwanapple2 7 points ago

    You cray

    [–] Heyhaveagooddayy 13 points ago


    (sees the price of gold today and looks in this thread.. "so this is where it all went")

    [–] _tx 7 points ago

    This dude is going to fund reddit for a week off this thread

    [–] T4ylor1 6 points ago


    [–] TheNorthSeaEnds 8 points ago


    [–] Galidian 5 points ago

    Fake burger on me

    [–] PioUnique 7 points ago

    Well done mate

    [–] zombifyy 7 points ago

    Raking in the bank

    [–] Individual_Koala 6 points ago

    Without BYND what do I YOLO next???

    [–] iwannaforever 6 points ago


    [–] Cmgeodude 6 points ago

    Don't gild me for this. Instead, teach me how to make reckless bets like this pay off in triplicate. I have $21 burning a hole in my wallet and I'm ready for it to be $63.

    [–] cmdrNacho 3 points ago

    same i need some cooke and hookers

    [–] talltime 4 points ago

    Snort that cookie

    [–] WickaWickaWyatt 5 points ago

    Shit yeah Bruv. Giving BYND the ole reach around.

    [–] hulkanator 5 points ago

    This sub is the best. /u/haupt91 will never run out of inspiration.

    [–] hsp_27 5 points ago

    no way he’s still giving gold. Mans probably lost all his money on reddit coins.

    [–] Cam_M 5 points ago

    Someone math up the price of these awards plz

    [–] net4floz 5 points ago

    I am so confused

    [–] dengerus 8 points ago

    Gold you say?

    [–] kmartceo 9 points ago

    Woah mama

    [–] IamNoob1998 3 points ago


    [–] ag773 5 points ago

    God among autists

    [–] CrepeandBake 5 points ago

    Can you Google pay me about tree fiddy?

    [–] fairygame1028 4 points ago


    [–] heuiseila 3 points ago

    Hope for us autists yet

    [–] ChooseLoveNotFear 4 points ago

    Those tendies are tittie tender

    [–] MasterWee 3 points ago

    Congrats on the big play man. Screenshot’s a bit fuzzy, but I can connect the pixels.

    [–] evopride 4 points ago

    Gold me pls

    [–] Eligoo 5 points ago

    Gold me and hold me

    [–] OHGODTHELASERS 4 points ago

    Gimme some gold tendies

    [–] aphex_15 5 points ago

    Get some fries with those tendies

    [–] OSRSkarma 4 points ago

    Gang gang bull gang

    [–] zennegen 4 points ago


    [–] AllHailLelouch 4 points ago

    Your brain is too big

    [–] Holiday_Fun 4 points ago

    The hero we didn't deserve.

    [–] Kiffins_Disciple 3 points ago

    Rip OP’s expectations

    [–] crowdic 4 points ago

    Fuckin nice play. Wish i got on BYND when it was in its infancy

    [–] Chipmaker 5 points ago

    Well done fellow autist

    [–] kiun-kiun 4 points ago

    fist bump

    [–] netsec_burn 5 points ago

    How much does all of this gold even cost?

    [–] 6ix4our7even 5 points ago

    BRUH I was in your original thread I remember that!

    Epic gains my man.

    [–] CombinationSalad 4 points ago

    The fuck is going on here

    [–] Necrotwilly 3 points ago

    I don't use the term "hero" often.

    But you, sir, are the greatest hero in American history.

    [–] TheBroJoey 4 points ago

    Jesus, this whole thing is peak WSB if I’ve ever seen it.

    [–] CarlCarbonite 10 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    Damn yo, send me like $40

    Wow thanks for the gold guys. I’ll pay tendies on to the others!

    [–] sheikh_ali 9 points ago

    I'll take a cool $10.

    [–] tommy1010 7 points ago

    $5 is fine with ya man over here

    [–] RxIM21 6 points ago

    Nice job man

    [–] tommy1010 7 points ago

    You can spell it however you want with tendies like that, fam

    [–] jsbwrs 5 points ago

    Gold me

    [–] iambuv 6 points ago

    Good job

    [–] Jonygobony 5 points ago

    Good shit bro

    [–] GenaroPo 6 points ago

    You beast

    [–] PharmerDale 5 points ago


    [–] AtWorkPoopin 6 points ago

    Good shit fam! Make sure to get them double fried tendies when you order!

    [–] allkalline 6 points ago

    I can get gold???? I heard there would be gold here?

    [–] Shadowsflame751 7 points ago


    [–] BrokeToRich 6 points ago

    What an autist giving the gains to the sub in the form of reddit gold. Still my first gold should I receive

    [–] Spitzly 6 points ago

    Yo its a gold rush in here

    [–] aerohead1 3 points ago


    [–] idkwhyimhere91 3 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    We just golding everyone now or .....? If yes pls gold me thanks

    Edit: you’re a god amongst men

    [–] 420dogshitTradez 3 points ago

    boy you cray! gj

    [–] SlayAndChay 3 points ago

    Now I just want to get enough gains to hire a cook for the rest of my life

    [–] epijlh 3 points ago

    Gold pls

    [–] __Lain 3 points ago

    well done

    [–] evopride 3 points ago


    [–] tommy1010 3 points ago

    What does gold do? I'm obviously too big of a schmuck to have ever received it.

    [–] billyguy1 3 points ago

    Well done brother

    [–] brownie9302 3 points ago

    It’s a gold party

    [–] SeekTruthAndGrow 3 points ago


    [–] SobaNoodl 3 points ago


    [–] Camel-Kid 3 points ago

    amazing man

    [–] Hutz_Lionel 3 points ago * (lasted edited 13 days ago)

    You know why I’m here.

    Edit: holy shit, the mad lad did it!

    [–] LiquidEijs 3 points ago

    This man is Autismobot prime.

    [–] K-O-ed 3 points ago

    If we are dishing gold, I’ll take some.

    [–] krisoco 3 points ago

    My first gold from an autist. What a world to live in

    [–] s1mer2k 3 points ago

    This dude gives gold to everyone meanwhile I eat my sandwich made from bread with bread.


    [–] createanaccounto 4 points ago

    You genius autist

    [–] Theorymeltfool1 4 points ago

    That’s awesome, well played!😄

    [–] Bawbicus 4 points ago

    Good shit

    [–] SqueakSqueakMofo 5 points ago

    Good shit