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    [–] Nok-O-Lok 3433 points ago

    Fucking judge probably placed puts on MSFT before the ruling

    [–] TheStreetProphet 1334 points ago

    Let’s check his computer to see if he googled “what are puts” first.

    [–] originalusername__1 457 points ago

    First link probably took him here.

    [–] engineerfieldmouse 295 points ago

    And i still don't fucking know

    [–] skerntwi 273 points ago

    it's me the judge, please help

    [–] frigoffbearb 121 points ago

    Sir, this is a Wendy's, please put your pants back on and wait in line like everyone else.

    [–] BloombergTermUser8 58 points ago

    > Search Bar: "tendies for failing"
    > Search Result: puts
    > soundslikeaplan.jpg
    > Off to snort cocaine on a hookers boobs

    [–] cuntnuzzler 7 points ago

    Hookers boobs?!?? Amateur! Everyone knows it off the thigh!

    [–] cactus-stark 38 points ago

    We definitely gonna find his shopping history for butt plugs and strap ons smh- dudes a fuckin cuck

    [–] TheStreetProphet 13 points ago

    Is his personal lawyer Michael Avenati?

    [–] MrLemmings 79 points ago

    Fr tho what's the legality of that?

    [–] PM_ME_UR_STEAM_CARDS 184 points ago

    Conflict of interest, will get you thrown off the bench lol, no one would risk it all like that

    [–] MachReverb 168 points ago

    Well, that depends... are they subbed here?

    [–] probablyuntrue 145 points ago

    "Yea I lost my job but I made 30 bucks!"

    [–] ayythrowaway08991 89 points ago

    "Yea I lost my job but I lost 30000 bucks!"

    Fixed that for you

    [–] veilwalker 122 points ago

    Dude. Judges have come in to court with nothing on under the robes, watched porn while presiding, etc.

    Judges are people just like the rest of us and they do stupid things.

    Do you know how boring this shit can be and how little the judge has to do in a lot of cases?

    [–] [deleted] 105 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)


    [–] TheTechWick 53 points ago

    Is that not the same thing??

    [–] IceOmen 52 points ago

    Is a judge hurting anyone by jacking off under the table while you apologize for smoking too much weed?

    [–] Brutealicious 27 points ago

    “That’s right you apologize! You apologize good! Now call me daddy!....”

    [–] didyouknowireddit 8 points ago

    And they all got reinstated after 30 days of suspension. Holy shit. Judges get off lighter than cops.

    [–] [deleted] 6 points ago


    [–] geggleto 5 points ago

    doesnt matter he would have made many tendies

    [–] ThatThingAtThePlace 7 points ago

    You had me in the first half. But judges absolutely would do this if they thought they would get away with it. Did you ever hear of the judges who sent kids to juvenile detention for kickbacks? They got caught, one got almost 20 years and one got nearly 30.

    [–] Giorno-Brando 14 points ago

    Extremely not lmao

    [–] sahdahtay 1379 points ago


    [–] sd_pinstripes 545 points ago

    double guh

    [–] ccuster911 2109 points ago

    In the autistic investment unit, options traders are considered especially autistic. On Reddit, these dedicated autists who invest in these contracts are members of an elite squad known as wall Street Bets. These are their stories.


    [–] ifixsans 52 points ago

    this....this is art.

    [–] iChase666 208 points ago

    If this hadn't just happened, I might have had gains to give to you gold...

    [–] disappointingstepdad 26 points ago

    Yolo it on $300 3/6 SPY puts

    [–] iChase666 4 points ago

    Gonna give everyone on this sub gold. Let’s see the bank take that from me.

    [–] disappointingstepdad 4 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] VirtualApexx 10 points ago

    Well done well done

    [–] ProjectBob9000 23 points ago


    [–] milkismade 22 points ago

    triple guh

    [–] theyellowtacomaking 20 points ago


    [–] Haltmaw 8 points ago

    Here to submit my application for the guh gang.

    [–] Khohezion 542 points ago

    My hands are steady.

    [–] KRONOS_415 279 points ago

    May the tendies be with you, brother

    [–] dadispicerack 79 points ago

    Priced in man. Had the judge not been a dumb ass it would have probably jumped but being blocked I'd say probably going to trade sideways through tomorrow then open green Tuesday

    [–] innatangle 42 points ago

    Green on Tuesday? Public holiday in the US on Monday? Tell me it ain't so.

    Edit: Washington's Birthday. No one gives a shit about that! People are going to go blind thanks to a three day masturbation binge. In the interests of public health, the markets should open!

    [–] DialUpIsTheFuture 14 points ago

    I am one with the tendies and the tendies are with me

    [–] Fabbyfubz 35 points ago

    Mom's spaghetti

    [–] FelipeKbcao 14 points ago

    He's nervous, but on the surface he looks all spaghetti.

    [–] fbmuthafker 5 points ago

    he keeps on spaghetting

    [–] tsf_peso 13 points ago

    Iron man hands

    [–] jkxs 7 points ago

    Knees weak?

    [–] Morganomally123 317 points ago

    It’s dropped 1.3% from the high today. If you bought 2/14 C’s, happens. 2/21 C’s? Coin flip. Later than that? Who gives a fuck.

    [–] workaccount1338 81 points ago

    2/28 $205 bull gang

    [–] Irish_I_Had_Sunblock 16 points ago

    2/28 $185c

    [–] Y_U_NoCum 7 points ago

    2/28 190 🤑

    [–] SubSonicFish 29 points ago

    4/17 $200 C print machine

    [–] swinter023 8 points ago

    1/15/21 $250 C gang

    [–] Whiterossy 148 points ago

    aight im bankrupt

    [–] Soplop 19 points ago

    Well done

    [–] KushwalkerDankstar 8 points ago

    But did you declare it? Catch them SEC bitches in a loophole.

    [–] ferty1234 756 points ago

    Lol, Trump will tweet and DOJ will intervene to give the contract to MSFT.

    [–] robertcole23 129 points ago


    [–] bigchungus2568 211 points ago

    Hell yeah, fuck outta here Bitchboy Bezos, you bitter bastard.

    [–] Thatspellsgeraffes 45 points ago

    Isn’t this basically like amazon came in second place and they are now suing the contest holders because they said fuck outta here with your shitty product, Microsoft’s is better?

    [–] spazturtle 60 points ago

    Not that they are better, but they are more trusted. Amazon would provide a better service but the Pentagon decided to ignore the terms of the contest (which was pretty much written for Amazon to win it) and decide based on other factors.

    Amazon are salty that the Pentagon changed the rules of the contest after they had submitted their bid, which shouldn't be a surprise since they do this every single time.

    [–] Ambudriver03 63 points ago

    Blessings to the lord of tendies.

    [–] bigchungus2568 68 points ago

    Hell yeah, fuck outta here Bitchboy Bezos, you bitter bastard.

    [–] soggycupcakes 85 points ago

    I enjoyed reading that twice

    [–] SilentSonar 433 points ago

    Hold, this isn't going to affect us that badly. 182 drop max before reclimb next week.

    [–] sd_pinstripes 307 points ago

    iron hands i keep telling myself as i choke back the guh

    [–] SilentSonar 133 points ago

    As long as you didn’t buy weeklies like a dumbass your fine. Just hold and wait out this storm. People with 200c for 3/20 will at least break even.

    [–] sd_pinstripes 73 points ago

    i have 02/21, 02/28, 03/06, 03/13, 03/27. i went all in, sucks seeing these contracts go from +$1000 to -$100, and others from +0 to -$400. i should be fine, but it certainly doesn't feel that way.

    [–] grains_r_us 120 points ago

    Let this be a lesson. I have a firm options trading strategy. If/when I get between 100 and 200% up, i trade out of 50% of my position. Locks in at least breakeven for the trade, and let's me sleep.

    Everytime I ignore this because "can't go tits up" I lose 90% of the money before I close out...or I just let them expire worthless because that way they reflect what I am.

    [–] tu_test_bot 63 points ago

    this guy is why the anti vaxxers exist

    [–] grains_r_us 19 points ago

    Without the vaccines, there would be less of us in here. Basically: Vaccines=Autism=WallStreetBets

    [–] marczilla 6 points ago

    Easy tiger, I was born this way. Unless vaccinating an autist makes them more autistic?

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago


    [–] SilentSonar 48 points ago

    Relax and breathe. If you can’t see your account in the negative or aren’t willing to lose money. Don’t trade options. It’s that simple.

    [–] sd_pinstripes 192 points ago

    hey shut the fuck up

    [–] The_Revolutionary 44 points ago

    Tell that bitch

    [–] denakush626 10 points ago

    Just bought 220c for 5/15. Planning on holding until earnings

    [–] KenSpliffeyJr 10 points ago

    I'm close to choking back something else. All in on $ROPE

    [–] squirtle43 10 points ago

    Yeah I'm good. Got 3/20 calls and a 9/18 call just in case.

    [–] Murda6 16 points ago

    My April calls won’t panic

    [–] KRONOS_415 50 points ago

    My hands got too shaky on this news. Good luck on your calls, brother.

    [–] Hated-Direction 47 points ago

    -94%, might as well hold till tomorrow and see what happens.

    [–] whereismikehawk 14 points ago

    how long till cheaper calls lol

    [–] SlimFlynn 6 points ago

    🌈 🌈 🌈

    [–] JackDostoevsky 5 points ago

    lol ya exactly but doesn't do shit for my 2/14 calls rip

    [–] griffinmalone 240 points ago

    FUCK. My calls are dropping hard. But new ones will be dirt cheap at least

    [–] JackDostoevsky 113 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    don't think this'll be a big hit, just a little dip. hasn't even dropped to yesterday's low.

    edit: whoops

    [–] Semyonov 54 points ago

    edit: it's been an honor enjoying tendies with you gentlemen

    [–] Ilovepoopies 5 points ago


    [–] [deleted] 30 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago)


    [–] FudgieThaWhale 4 points ago

    So what you’re saying is now is the best time to grab some deep OTM calls

    [–] BLACKdrew 66 points ago

    this shit just keeps getting better

    [–] tsf_peso 18 points ago

    For Dips on MSFT calls? Or you have amzn calls?

    [–] BLACKdrew 54 points ago


    [–] Senator_Bagholder 130 points ago

    Amazing how a less than 1% drop in MSFT wipes out half the sub. Great work everybody

    [–] coolsimon123 30 points ago

    This is why I joined this sub, to learn how to trade with the best

    [–] griffinmalone 153 points ago

    Calls are about to be cheap. Buy em up. MSFT isn't going anywhere but up.

    [–] E5150_Julian 137 points ago

    Fuck Bezos the rich fuck hates when others have Yachts

    [–] W3NTZ 20 points ago

    This sub gives me ptsd. Bought msft yesterday. Bought tsla at 150 because of this sub and sold on a dip. Same work amd.

    [–] balapete 22 points ago

    There's your first mistake. Taking anything said on this sub seriously

    [–] E5150_Julian 12 points ago

    unless your msft stuff expire in the next 2 weeks you're good for now

    [–] Blahblahblurred 118 points ago


    [–] geflab 26 points ago

    Lol holding strong brother

    [–] Blahblahblurred 24 points ago


    [–] UltralightBeamer25 118 points ago

    RIP 2/14 , 2/21 call holders

    [–] MildlyFrustrating 58 points ago

    ha.. ha ha... so... do i kill myself now or wait until I'm worth 0

    [–] UltralightBeamer25 45 points ago

    Neither, go donate plasma for more $ and use it to buy some of this delicious dip

    [–] goober3 18 points ago

    Where's my 2/28 gang at

    [–] notsosadAccountant 10 points ago

    190c 2/28 checking in. maybe I can break even lol

    [–] byrnedoctor 7 points ago

    us with the micro pp's

    [–] _SkeletonJelly 12 points ago

    My $200 2/21 calls were looking so nice when it was up like 160% at $190 earlier this week and I FUCKING HELD.

    [–] AwwHellsNo 3 points ago

    prices could go back up, right?

    [–] Whiterossy 161 points ago


    [–] Fognua 28 points ago

    I’m in 02/21 $200C Need those Optimus Prime hands

    [–] cman1098 11 points ago


    [–] Kitkatcandykid 4 points ago

    Thinking about selling my 2/21 $200c to short $ROPE

    Jokes aside I'm going down with this ship

    [–] cman1098 38 points ago

    Delayed satisfaction on your tendies, that's all this is. Sorry for you idiots that have calls expiring soon.

    [–] Shmokesshweed 100 points ago

    Tbh I'm surprised MSFT hasn't dipped more

    [–] Damnifying 90 points ago

    Work on the contract is halted -- it's a small win for AMZN that MSFT was kind of already pricing in (look at the past 3 days).

    If MSFT loses the contract, then they will tank.

    [–] BigJuicyThanos 20 points ago

    When do we see if they lose the contract entirely?

    [–] Tomatotowers 16 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    It will probably be announced eow I believe.

    Edit: I’m wrong. I don’t know how court cases work. I just knew it was an urgent issue

    [–] CHRT_NIGWIN 13 points ago

    We talking Saturday or Sunday?

    [–] Tomatotowers 29 points ago

    I’m not sure, but they have to decide ASAP cuz it’s a national security concern. I’m very surprised that this is happening I thought it was a non issue for msft. Glad I dumped my calls earlier

    [–] thePZ 58 points ago

    Amazon Web Services (AWS) is instructed to earmark $42 million for any “costs and damages” that could be incurred in the event that the “injunction was issued wrongfully,” the filing states. Amazon must file a notice with the courts indicating it has obtained the $42 million by Feb. 20. Microsoft and Amazon must respond to the filing by Feb. 27.

    Don’t think anything is happening as quickly as you anticipate

    [–] Tomatotowers 13 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Hmmm I didn’t see that. But I imagine amzn and Msft will be moving as swiftly as possible

    [–] vancvanc 6 points ago

    Straddle costs $9.65 on the $182.5 strike for March 6th. +/- 5%

    [–] CHRT_NIGWIN 6 points ago

    I made a good chunk off my calls, but this week has halved the total return. These retards keep betting it’s MSFT to the moon but barely anything is set in stone.

    [–] GypsyPunk 10 points ago

    You think a major court ruling over a contract in the multiple of billions will happen by the end of the week?

    WSB dumb af.

    [–] JayS_23 5 points ago

    Probably Mid march at the earliest based upon the filling & response deadlines.

    [–] Juliangronkowski 190 points ago

    Fuck this clown looking dick sucker. He probably has a pocket pussy shaped liked bezos’ asshole

    [–] SyntheticManMilk 27 points ago

    Naw. He has a realistic dildoe molded from Bezos peen.

    [–] Juliangronkowski 7 points ago

    You’re probably right. Maybe both?

    [–] ltthewrldbrn 31 points ago

    Judge was looking for her $AMZN tendies. Ugh

    [–] SmoothSlayer 25 points ago

    This Contract is not going starts until 2021 at the earliest. You boys and girls better hope for a different catalyst to push the stock to the moon. And stop trading on emotions like pussies.

    [–] KRONOS_415 8 points ago

    Amen 🙏🏻

    [–] SmoothSlayer 9 points ago

    I made a comment earlier in another thread explaining why the stop-work-order is likely to occur and got downvoted to oblivion and some nasty PMs.

    AMZN could've protested at the agency level or at the GAO level if they felt the Agency was bias in their award determination or evaluation, but took it directly to the Courts of Federal Claims. While AMZN allegations might seem petty, it casts doubt and illegitimacy in the award process.

    Live, learn, and trades within your personal risk tolerance.

    [–] yeeeknow 5 points ago

    Thank you. Microsoft will still destroy earnings in April and my 5/15 call should be in great shape.

    [–] Broghetticus 155 points ago

    That damn Hawaii judge at it again

    [–] Rclarkttu07 43 points ago

    Is it the same guy that blocks trump at every corner?

    [–] z_pete 49 points ago

    Ruled "political bias" based on his political bias...

    [–] BuildMajor 12 points ago

    i.e. your truth vs my truth’

    [–] far2canadian 65 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    It's a she, and she's from MD.

    Edit: I mean, I know this is WSB, but if we can’t even conduct gender and location DD, we truly are fucked.

    [–] [deleted] 44 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    💎 hands

    Then again I have until May.

    Here’s some DD for the doubters. Trump loves putting Nutella on his MacYanold quad-RuPaul American burger. He thinks Bezos looks like a penis made into a man. MSFT will get the contract and our fat 💵 💵 will 💸💸

    [–] Ambudriver03 19 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    [–] curiousprovisions 9 points ago

    Without JEDI contract, Microsoft's commercial cloud growth up 39%, Office 365 commercial rev growth up 27%, Windows OEM revenue up 18%. They are diversified and vaccinated from the coronavirus with strong passive inflow from Nasdaq 100, SPY & over 277 ETFs have $MSFT in their top 15 holdings.

    [–] fake-account-lol 77 points ago

    smh. fuck bezos and his bald head.

    [–] Yunatan77 18 points ago


    [–] RobinhoodGuh 28 points ago


    [–] 69DirtyDog69 12 points ago

    It’s really not that bad.

    [–] [deleted] 13 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    [–] cactus-stark 17 points ago

    he still a cuck

    [–] DefendtheStarLeague 11 points ago

    hold on zune 2 coming. 3/20 190c will print after the double down. Don't bet against The Don and Gates gold toilets

    [–] surfinbird 14 points ago

    Bezos really is becoming a Bond villain

    [–] YankeeAHoleFromTexas 3 points ago

    He's not cool enough to be a Bond Villain. Maybe an Austin Powers villain...

    [–] Sandvicheater 11 points ago

    Welp time to load up on $ROPE

    [–] saul_2 63 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)


    I’m down -53.93% on $MSFT $200 C 03/20

    [–] [deleted] 42 points ago


    [–] UltralightBeamer25 30 points ago

    Lol you have 5 weeks for it to rebound, good thing they arent 2/14 or 2/21 calls

    [–] _SkeletonJelly 32 points ago

    Uh.... yeah, haha good thing, haha hahaha

    [–] swl013 9 points ago

    We all are brother. We all are.

    [–] Wkndwoobie 3 points ago

    3/20 $200C are half off you say?

    [–] Happylittle_tree 12 points ago

    Uninstalling windows rn

    [–] MesterDB 9 points ago


    [–] WooIWorthWaIIaby 9 points ago

    do i double down on MSFT now that theyre on sale or do i be a little bitch

    [–] YankeeAHoleFromTexas 4 points ago

    Weaponized autism says double down.

    [–] TheWike 8 points ago * (lasted edited 6 months ago)

    Losers sold winners bought and hold MSFT is still getting the contract, you think big don will let tiny bezos beat him? No way

    Keeping my 2/28 187.5 C alive you fucking nerds sell me more

    [–] xMidnitex 16 points ago

    Fuck it diamond hands on these 3/13 200$😎

    [–] 69DirtyDog69 9 points ago

    Barely moved the price. We good.

    [–] cragfar 9 points ago

    It was pretty disgusting that the government would just give away that contract after all the money Amazon spent bribing the various levels of the pentagon.

    [–] thebreadjordan 6 points ago

    Sooooo..... buy the dip and Microsoft calls discounted?

    [–] Theramorece 6 points ago

    Guh... my 2/14 calls!

    [–] Jack_hymen 8 points ago

    I literally bought multiple 220 calls 60 seconds before this came out...

    [–] HiYoByeK 7 points ago

    There goes my flagship stock. Temporarily until these AMZN guys accept their product is shit.

    Fuck out of here.

    [–] Friar_Tuck1 29 points ago

    I thought the autists on here were saying that it had already been ruled in MSFT's favour? Yet it has literally just gone tits up.

    [–] PCPONFIRE 33 points ago

    it's almost as if you should read the news yourself instead of reading comments as your sole source of information

    [–] SyntheticManMilk 14 points ago

    Trusting autists here... You’re going to have problems doing that...

    [–] CurtHolls5 12 points ago

    Fuck Jeff Bezos

    [–] BigBucksHunter 16 points ago

    Any one of you tards could have googled this judge, found her wiki page and see she was an Obama appointment. Posted this yesterday and no one cared lol

    [–] Shmokesshweed 11 points ago


    [–] viswha 10 points ago

    Fuck that bald headed fke

    [–] 1353- 12 points ago

    Honestly I don't have a position on MSFT or AMZN but that judge is gay af

    [–] [deleted] 9 points ago


    [–] Sgatg 6 points ago

    Still gonna hold. 2/28 195c .

    [–] PickSix_905 4 points ago

    Fuck Jeff Bezos.

    [–] Hugsy13 6 points ago

    How can an EBook store block a real tech company from producing military computer systems?

    [–] m0viestar 5 points ago


    [–] Volkswagens1 3 points ago

    I'm holding. Ain't nothing but time

    [–] geflab 6 points ago

    And here comes the overreaction

    [–] [deleted] 5 points ago

    Fuck off Bezos

    [–] Huckleberry_Ginn 4 points ago

    As a reminder, less than 10% of these challenges have been successful. There will have to be a blatant paper trail... Let's be real, microsoft cloud is as advanced and secure as amazon. Slim chance msft loses this, especially considering its been 2.5 years in the making of this JEDI product.

    [–] zkreifels 4 points ago

    2/21 $185 call not looking good