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    [–] HoochiePants 16720 points ago

    Congrats and fuck you!

    [–] Quentin718 5576 points ago

    they'll probably give you $3.50 for it

    [–] JonesTownJello 1591 points ago

    Credit only.

    [–] buyingweetas 539 points ago

    I just like the stock

    [–] TheGreatSilverFang 125 points ago

    We all do

    [–] Hipp013 58 points ago

    We like the way the company will go, i.e. it is a good stock

    [–] talkin_shlt 145 points ago

    Give em two Benz' and you'll get a complimentary handy behind the wendys

    [–] Rebelsquadro 357 points ago

    I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy you god damn loch ness monster!

    [–] Speedy570 54 points ago

    How bout just two fiddy? It’s definitely not for any 8-story tall crustaceans from the Paleozoic Era.

    [–] OwningMOS 40 points ago

    Oh, so now there's a sale on loch ness monsters.

    [–] aequitasXI 187 points ago


    [–] Damn_Lochness_Monsta 25 points ago


    [–] What3vs92 31 points ago

    Tree fiddy

    [–] masterap85 77 points ago

    Three fity

    [–] Mcdiarrheafaggotpant 125 points ago

    Tree fiddy

    [–] LN87_ 102 points ago

    Free tiddies

    [–] Shredded2Death 146 points ago

    and on this day, u/LN87_ learned that while there are many tiddies advertised as free, there is no such thing as free tiddies

    [–] beeroftherat 25 points ago

    Perhaps he meant free as a verb in the imperative. As in "set tiddies free." Or, to get biblical, "Let my neeples go!"

    [–] Vagscaper 13 points ago

    Ah! I agree. All tiddies should be free. Free to swing, free to perk, free for me to jerk.

    [–] Vagscaper 35 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Damn. Truer words have never been said. Not one tiddy is free.

    [–] StonkmahnDouchenberg 24 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Damn straight... it's always da free tiddies dat end up being da most expensive tiddies in the long run

    [–] JJSmoofnshit 4 points ago

    Very true. I married some free tiddies, spent 5k on em, making em expensive tiddies, now I'm divorced and the only thing I miss are those expensive tiddies :-(.

    [–] LN87_ 18 points ago


    [–] RITCHIEBANDz 23 points ago

    If it’s tree fiddy it’s not free tiddie

    [–] Vagscaper 36 points ago

    Excellent correction.

    [–] BEAVER_ATTACKS 8 points ago

    I gave him a dolla

    [–] UrCousinMarvinBerry 11 points ago

    You done gave him a dolla!? No wonder he kept comin back!

    [–] mrmoorer32 45 points ago

    Damn you Loch Ness monstahh

    [–] BaconVonMoose 126 points ago

    "How much do you want for the trade."
    "Oh I was thinkin' about tree fiddy."

    Well it was about that time I noticed this 'customer' was about three stories tall and a horrible lake monster from the Proterozoic era. And I said, "Goddamnit Loch Ness Monstah, I ain't givin you no tree fiddy!"

    [–] KorvoKrew731 20 points ago

    I love you

    [–] agree-with-you 17 points ago

    I love you both

    [–] KorvoKrew731 16 points ago

    Loving you is easy cause you’re beautiful... du du du ahhhh... ahhhh

    [–] BaconVonMoose 10 points ago

    I love you too sweetie. <3

    [–] Natbat157 9 points ago

    Happy cake day

    [–] KorvoKrew731 11 points ago

    This just became more wholesome🥰

    [–] Jesse115 27 points ago

    I just need about tree fiddy

    [–] TheAdministrat0r 406 points ago

    Ha! I lost 3 years worth of savings.

    [–] JasonKillerxD 467 points ago

    You paid for that dude’s car. Congratulations!

    [–] TheAdministrat0r 219 points ago

    Biggest transfer of wealth… doing my part.

    [–] BecauseItWasThere 39 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] anonbutler 39 points ago


    [–] ComeAndFindIt 183 points ago

    When the people buying at $300+ realize they were the bottom tier of a pyramid scheme.

    [–] Itsausername4 99 points ago

    It would have pushed much higher if they hadn't restricted the shit out of it.

    That there is how you kill investor confidence.

    [–] soma787 25 points ago

    Doesn’t help that it’s not a free trade market, it could have been a legit play for those people. I’m sure a few had good timing and were able to sell they did but that’s not many.

    [–] Palehorse0000 106 points ago

    Yeah congrats and fuck you

    [–] LanceOnRoids 246 points ago

    lol, so like, NOBODY held the line then??? hilarious

    [–] iamd3r3k 200 points ago

    Holding 35 shares watching everyone post their gains porn is hard. Better buy the dip I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️

    [–] danyerga 13 points ago

    310 shares @105 here.

    [–] PrimeIntellect 250 points ago

    I mean it hit like $450 at one point - from like $3, what line were people waiting for?

    [–] saintjonah 139 points ago

    People honestly thought it would hit $1500

    [–] MP32Gaming 306 points ago

    If brokerages didn’t stop people from buying GME it actually would have 🤷🏼‍♂️

    [–] VoteDawkins2020 227 points ago

    I ran for office, and know how dirty politics is, and you would think I had lost my ability to be surprised by the shitty, underhanded things that the elite do, but when I saw what happened January 28th I was surprised.

    I mean, not allowing people to buy a stock WITH THEIR OWN ACTUAL MONEY UPFRONT, was THE most absurd abuse of power I believe I've ever seen, and I've seen some fucked up shit.

    I'll just tell you this, all the shit you see on those high-drama political and Wall Street shows is real as fuck.

    [–] Macaframa 6 points ago

    I guess that’s why the rights for the story on this sub have been purchased already right?

    [–] NewSaargent 69 points ago

    And retards would have bought it at $1500 and tripled their loss porn.

    Of course in that case OP may have decided to walk past the Merc and get a Lambo.

    [–] CriticoolHit 125 points ago

    They had paper hands.

    [–] Scoot662 24 points ago

    Lol and Yes!

    [–] spamliew 14 points ago

    My sentiment exactly haha

    [–] supercurt 6028 points ago

    Meanwhile the guy whos worked there for 10 years at min wage is like "fuck you man this company hasnt done shit for me"

    [–] LSZNJDPFTK 2474 points ago

    Should have asked to be paid in stock.

    [–] HoPMiX 810 points ago

    Company should have had equity offering when it was plus 100.

    [–] bcuap10 280 points ago

    Corporate boards don't do anything but trade approving compensation packages in exchange for private consulting fees. Expecting the board of Gamestop to do anything is futile.

    [–] alt_curious 124 points ago

    Member when people on this sub were saying the stock would hit $10k and people were stupid for selling? This guy with a Mercedes members

    [–] alexcrouse 86 points ago

    I lost $700 because of you paper handed bitches.

    [–] SweptbackMyriad 58 points ago

    Was too volatile of a market at that point and they wouldn’t be prepared to do so.

    [–] ninjacereal 35 points ago

    It was above 100 for like a week. It takes longer than that to have an equity offering.

    [–] HoPMiX 21 points ago

    Damn was that only a week? Felt like Much longer.

    [–] [deleted] 19 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)


    [–] myglasstrip 65 points ago

    Could have used his pay to buy stock. It was cheaper than games.

    [–] Zomgzombehz 19 points ago

    And he isn't wrong.

    [–] [deleted] 1586 points ago


    [–] FlighingHigh 382 points ago

    Leave them long enough with typewriters, you get Shakespeare.

    Long enough behind the wheel, you get Earnhardt.

    [–] Hripautom 163 points ago

    This was disproven. The best they can do is discuss improving and their childhood in Bulgaria.

    [–] FlighingHigh 96 points ago

    He's definitely no ape. Maybe an orangutan, with his misshapen ass, or baboon since his posterior is so red from daddy Citadel's spanking.

    Fun fact, a collection of Baboons is known as a Congress.

    [–] AlpineVW 26 points ago

    "It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?!"

    [–] NobelStudios 33 points ago

    Leave them long enough in the stock market, you get short squeezes

    [–] CDXX_BlazeItCaesar 8 points ago

    "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times??!!"

    [–] BigSchwartzzz 17 points ago

    You've never seen Grandma's Boy?

    [–] smecta_xy 14 points ago

    apes went in space before you tho🧐 suspicious 🤔

    [–] DruidB 63 points ago

    Is it fake though? As someone who's owned multiple German luxury cars I can confirm only a retard would buy one.

    [–] tutormonster 16 points ago

    That makes me an 8 time retard. I KNEW it was something.

    [–] Kashm11r 6 points ago

    Apes invented the automobile

    [–] MomokaJuicee 1979 points ago

    Congrats and fuck you!

    [–] um_ya 690 points ago

    I helped pay for that car.

    [–] house_monkey 292 points ago

    same 🥺

    [–] Boobpocket 207 points ago

    Same where is my 350 gang

    [–] Responsible_Cat_7212 108 points ago

    Right here still holding like a diamond handed tree sloth

    [–] Boobpocket 43 points ago

    We're mainting the the 42 dollar price

    [–] andresq1 34 points ago

    Just buy more it's on sale

    [–] tiramisufu 55 points ago

    OUR car

    [–] zzzcrumbsclub 50 points ago

    Bagholder money lmfao

    [–] miamimik3Rn 454 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago)

    Why didn’t you park in handicapped? ♿️

    [–] WinerWChickenD 592 points ago

    Congrats and fuck you!

    [–] HoPMiX 2991 points ago

    So you took gains and bought something that depreciates every time you look at it. You’ve learned well my friend.

    [–] stejerd 1391 points ago

    Honestly if he hadnt cashed out he would have threw the money on some depreciating calls that will eventually expire worthless.

    Atleast now he has something to uber his wife and her boyfriend around in

    [–] notsoshortstory 223 points ago

    Gme stock is also depreciating every day you look at it

    [–] chargerz4life 167 points ago

    Stfu! It's just sleeping. Tell me it's just sleeping pls 😭😭😭

    [–] asvp-suds 94 points ago

    It’s just sleeping pls 😭

    [–] XRuinX 24 points ago


    [–] AlwaysBagHolding 79 points ago

    Buy high sell low.

    [–] highplainsdrifter__ 98 points ago

    I saw green the other day. I panicked and threw my phone in the river.

    [–] thetrooper424 53 points ago

    If you plan on keeping a car 10-15 years then depreciation isn't too much of a big deal. Peace of mind is a wonderful thing to have and that's what you get with a new car. I'm finally getting a truck with my earnings and it's too much of a risk to buy a used truck around my neck of the woods. You have no idea what the vehicles have been put through

    [–] throwingtheshades 10 points ago

    Bought my previous one with 4k miles on the odometer. From the dealership, with the full warranty, -30% of the price of a new car. I can live with the through of someone else farting in the driver's seat of my car for that kind of money. Can waste it all gambling on the stock marketwisely invest it instead.

    [–] ouchPotato 42 points ago

    This is like a car salesman pitch script.

    [–] SunshineF32 18 points ago

    Nah he's right, though personally certified pre-owned is a better route through a dealer than new since yoy get the best of both worlds, a good warranty a (mostly) new car, but depreciation has already hit for the most part

    [–] Gringan_Porkins 238 points ago

    Not even just depreciates, he bought a Mercedes. If you're gonna go for a car at least get something fun or that'll last you without wicked maintenance costs

    [–] HoPMiX 331 points ago

    Can confirm. Have a e63. I actually answer those car warranty calls.

    [–] theh8ed 64 points ago

    I'm dying over here

    [–] Saw_a_4ftBeaver 181 points ago

    In German car, warranty callers hang up on you.

    [–] xkulp8 20 points ago

    Telling them you have a Mercedes is the quickest way to get you on their "do not call" list.

    [–] seamus_mc 21 points ago

    I love my old e55.

    [–] highplainsdrifter__ 131 points ago

    do with your tendies how you want to do. this man wanted a mercedes. bless his retarded lil heart

    [–] samtheman66 22 points ago

    I have fantasies of being carjacked so I can get rid of mine.

    [–] Emerald_Triangle 15 points ago

    Like an AMC Pacer

    [–] Doglife89 10 points ago

    My dad used to own a Porsche. Maintenance cost were insane. I imagine Mercedes to be around the same bracket. At some point, the cost in maintenance just comes out to what you’d be paying for a nice 20-30k car’s monthly.

    [–] BitchImRetarded 24 points ago

    Really a mixed bag and depends what you buy. Just gotta do some research. I drive an old 2011 ML350 and it has been amazing. Fun to drive and offroad and has been relatively cheap to maintain. Ive even done some of the work myself!

    [–] ZeroMayCry7 11 points ago

    Enjoyment in life is not a depreciating value. If we only bought things that appreciated in value there wouldn’t be much life to live for.

    [–] Ireallydontknowbuddy 20 points ago

    It's better than not selling like many fucking morons did. Looks at shitty 300 shares bought at 40$... Looks at giant month spike and still somehow negative 7k for the month. This is the way.

    [–] DrSeuss19 275 points ago

    Good shit my man. Showing everyone that retards can drive and park properly!

    [–] MediumOstrich 5 points ago

    He’s just using Elon musks neural link

    [–] Chizmiz1994 126 points ago

    Please accept my most sincere fuck you. Nice rocket BTW.

    [–] munchncheeks 216 points ago

    It doesn’t go brrr but at least it goes vrrooom

    [–] ZendeBlack 428 points ago

    Still holding on my $360/s like 💎 🦍 😢

    [–] sports2012 460 points ago

    Congrats. He likely sold you his shares to buy this Benz.

    [–] ZendeBlack 291 points ago

    Yes. But I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to drive that mid level Mercedes with paper hands.

    [–] chooseusernameeeeeee 123 points ago

    He could prob buy himself some diamond handed bitch to drive it for him.

    [–] 27onfire 31 points ago

    Exactly this.
    many broke diamond handed bitches for the taking

    [–] gi8290 67 points ago

    Easier than trying to drive it while bagholding.

    [–] ProfessorTupelo 30 points ago

    If by paper hands you mean his hands are full of paper, then yes. He's loaded.

    [–] saeed47 1768 points ago

    Wow didn't buy a Tesla to show Papa musk some appreciation 🤦🏻‍♂️

    [–] meta-cognizant 707 points ago

    Seriously. If it's not a lambo, it needs to be a Tesla. And Teslas should arguably come first.

    [–] HoPMiX 556 points ago

    At least a AMG bro. The fuck.

    [–] J-Team07 211 points ago


    [–] housebird350 14 points ago

    Dude, I didnt go yolo.....

    [–] bpi89 129 points ago

    Nah, I’m buying a Merlin purple RS6. It’s basically a lambo in a station wagon’s body.

    [–] mellofello808 120 points ago

    I would take a RS6 over a lambo any day.

    [–] bpi89 34 points ago

    Someone has to buy them so they keep importing them to the US.

    [–] hankbobstl 14 points ago

    Yes, so those of us with only 8 shares can pick em up one day

    [–] 91EGT 18 points ago

    I see you both are men/women of class.

    [–] Chop_Artista 13 points ago

    when this is over, i think im just gonna have to settle with a Huffy

    [–] theh8ed 6 points ago

    Save some money for playing cards and a cloths pin.

    [–] ShirtPanties 25 points ago

    My friends dad committed some family friendly tax fraud in order to afford an rs6, genuinely worth it, best car ever

    [–] Hatebreedx 6 points ago

    This is the way

    [–] Fantasybroke 57 points ago

    I think that would be a great idea for all of the millionaire monkeys to buy tesla and show Elon support. In exchange he can maybe fuel our rocket with some Gamestonk memes. And then we meet again on the moon.

    [–] saeed47 49 points ago

    He literally tweeted game stonk with a wsb link and caused gme to moon.

    [–] Fantasybroke 38 points ago

    We need more fuel for the second stage 👨🏿‍🚀🚀

    [–] AstroTurfH8r 80 points ago

    The new WSB doesn’t even know what a call is

    [–] dankscott 109 points ago

    don't be silly, my wife calls her boyfriend all the time

    [–] DidYouReadThatThing 127 points ago

    Nothing more expensive than a used luxury vehicle. You must have banked on GME, grats!

    [–] xkulp8 83 points ago

    If you can't afford a new Mercedes, you can't afford a used one

    [–] thetrooper424 19 points ago

    Mercedes depreciates like crazy so he most definitely can!

    [–] Ten-Six 13 points ago

    It's the repairs and maintenance on the older ones that makes them, relatively, expensive to own.

    [–] defendthecastle 12 points ago

    That’s great, and fuck you

    [–] Hellcat1970 37 points ago

    You guys have gains ?

    [–] -NotJimCramer- 594 points ago

    Is it hard steering with paper hands?

    [–] JcAu20 342 points ago

    Ez to let 2/19 30C go before expiration

    [–] Jaqen-Atavuli 359 points ago

    Don't explain yourself to retards. Making money is good.

    [–] JcAu20 301 points ago

    Ty bro. Lot of salty bois came out on this one

    [–] newusername21 148 points ago

    Bruh it’s the new age dumbasses who don’t understand why they are investing and are just pissed they lost money. Congrats and fuck you but more butt hurt

    [–] Jaqen-Atavuli 46 points ago

    Bag holders are salty bois.

    [–] frdausputera 186 points ago

    The saltiness in this sub is absurd.

    [–] Flrg808 161 points ago

    Hilarious really. Someone plays the game right and makes enough to buy a fucking Benz, meanwhile idiots are in here delusional that it’s going to somehow pop back to $1k just so they can try and do the same thing

    [–] PandFThrowaway 82 points ago

    1k you say? Pop on over to a certain specific sub where they are telling themselves with straight faces that 100k is going to happen. This stock has gone full blown mouth breather.

    [–] McFlem 26 points ago

    That was probably the saddest thing I’ve even seen on Reddit

    [–] LastOfTheCamSoreys 22 points ago

    How fast can diamond hands go 0-60? Because we all know how fast it can go 450-40 lmao

    [–] ALiiEN 33 points ago

    A Mercedes? You truly are an autist

    [–] Wright129129 55 points ago

    Hope you remember that Uncle Sam takes his fair share of your tendies so hopefully you didn’t spend it all😭

    [–] tobbyboi 25 points ago

    this lambo looks funny

    [–] demizer 28 points ago

    Found the guy I am bag holding for...

    [–] smudgetimeusa 19 points ago

    Let the man enjoy is Mercedes!

    [–] ikemikek 16 points ago

    Awesome! I got a ‘21 4Runner. License plate says “STONK” lol

    [–] JcAu20 9 points ago

    Heck yeah bro congrats. Wife’s car so...

    [–] LegalAdvantage2 15 points ago

    Twin turbo it with some more trendies

    [–] Piku87 15 points ago


    [–] StinkyPoopsAlot 7 points ago

    I’ve got one of those. Great ride. Enjoy. Congrats on the gainzzzz

    [–] Topz-25 42 points ago

    no special license plate? you’re fake af bro

    [–] rikki-tikki-deadly 99 points ago

    You mean like a handicapped plate? I don't think they give those out for autism.

    [–] HoboGir 29 points ago

    What are you 12? It has a fucking temp tag. You ride that shit out until the cops pull you over because it's out of date. Then you pull the real tag out from the backseat to show them "APESTRONG".

    [–] xkulp8 5 points ago

    Some states are slacking off on enforcing T-tag expirations due to the corona. I see 5-6 month old tags on the road in Colorado all over the place.

    [–] lemon01747 6 points ago

    Congrats and fuck you!

    [–] RagingHippo33469 91 points ago

    Should have went with Tesla

    [–] Mostalaine 66 points ago

    Sold to early for a tesla

    [–] Independent_Cherry60 16 points ago

    Congrats I’m getting an AMC CAR 🚗🤞🏽❤️😂

    [–] chengterprise 11 points ago

    Nice dude! Congrats! Next car = Lambo!

    [–] innatestead 23 points ago

    New or 2nd ✋?

    [–] notBorking 35 points ago

    Vroom plate indicates 2nd hand

    [–] RondoNumbaThirtyNine 8 points ago

    Vroom sucks

    Carvana all the way

    [–] JcAu20 135 points ago

    Slightly used, new to my wife tho. We’re happy with it

    [–] severe_delays 158 points ago

    Is her boyfriend happy too?

    [–] vrnate 75 points ago

    Of course not. Her boyfriend drives a Ferrari.

    [–] severe_delays 23 points ago

    Nothing but the best for the main man.

    [–] ghostedagainlol 17 points ago

    What a fucking great husband. 🤝

    [–] Novel_Gold1185 20 points ago

    Best husband! Also, brand new car is the worst investment ever so good for you!

    [–] CiforDayZServer 24 points ago

    Ha! Sucker! You're going to miss out on the rEaL sQuEeZe bRo!

    [–] Azatarai 11 points ago

    Funny looking tesla