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    [–] If you curse at inanimate objects, no one cares but if you talk nicely to them people will think you’re crazy. Ask_me_4_a_story 31 points ago in Showerthoughts

    Whose MUSIC is this?

    My mom was almost yelling now. She was holding up a Guns N Roses cassette tape. All four of us boys all knew whose music it was of course, it was our oldest brother's, the hard rocker among us. No one said anything, we all just stood in the line with our heads down. I had already had two concussions from my older brother, once when he threw a hedgeapple and hit me in the head, and once when he punched me in the Xiphoid process, the bone under your sternum that apparently makes you pass out. Snitches get stitches was an understatement. Eventually my mom figured out it was his and she broke it in half and grounded him for a week.

    I grew up in a very strict religious household. Church three times a week, Christian school every day, lots of religious indoctrination. The only music allowed in our home was Christian music. Being at home meant being trapped, no movies, no video games, no music, nothing. But I had a bike, and I could fly on that thing. It's all I ever wanted to do as soon as school got out and all the weekends, jump on my bike and fly away, down the streets as fast as I could pedal.

    Finally school ended and it was summertime, a time I had been looking forward to for months. That was a long hot summer in Oklahoma City and none of the creeks had water in them. The concrete bed and walls of the dried out creeks were the best place to ride our bikes and we spent everyday racing down the walls and up the other sides, pedaling as fast as we could, racing like wind through the empty concrete creek beds.

    On that hot summer day I was riding my bike on my own and I pedaled out of the creek bed and into a neighborhood. I remember the sound that stopped me in my tracks just like it was yesterday. I heard something I had never heard before. I followed my ears to the sound and found it emanating from a gold-colored Camaro with T-Tops. It was a beat I loved so much, from the first time I heard it. The music? Beastie Boys, License to Ill. I heard Brass Monkey and I was just nodding along furiously. I heard other songs too, I just leaned against the handlebars and nodded along. This guy rolled out from under the gold Camaro eventually, no sleeves, muscle-bound, alpha as fuck, looking at me nodding along to the music while he was wiping the grease off his hands.

    He didn’t say any words, just the slightest head nod as he continued wiping his hands. He didn’t need to say anything, that slight nod was as if he said,

    Yeah, you feel this shit too right?

    To this day I still love the beat. I still love to ride my bike through the wind, a pair of headphones on, hip hop blaring. I think about that day sometimes, when I heard music for the first time.

    [–] [image] lots of you on reddit helped me reach this. Thanks !! Ask_me_4_a_story 1 points ago in GetMotivated

    I am not part of these groups or support or anything, just Reddit in general and I want you guys to know I support you. I just had lunch with a girl from my volleyball team yesterday and her second DUI put her in a wheelchair for six months and her 3rd sent her to jail, now she has to go to jail for the next five weekends. I wish I could help her, only thing I knew to do was to tell her I love her and I will come pick her up anywhere she is at anytime but besides that I can't really do anything else. Last night I had horrible nightmares about drunk driving all night, I feel powerless, can't do anything except encourage her to get sober. I want to encourage you guys too! You guys can do it, please be careful and take care of yourselves.

    [–] If you curse at inanimate objects, no one cares but if you talk nicely to them people will think you’re crazy. Ask_me_4_a_story 64 points ago in Showerthoughts

    My new girlfriend talks nicely to Alexa and I'll be honest, its kind of a turn on. She's like Alexa, would you please play Khalid Better. And Alexa does it. And she is all nice about it.

    [–] Messing around with steel wool at Clinton Lake in Lawrence Kansas Ask_me_4_a_story 2 points ago in kansas

    Can you please tell me how you do this step by step? Ima impress some people at my crawfish broil in the backyard next weekend.

    [–] What is the weirdest thing you do when you're alone? Ask_me_4_a_story 7 points ago in AskReddit

    What is Baader Meinhof anyway? I just heard about this a few weeks ago and I swear I hear it all the time now.

    [–] Saving a dog from the dogcatcher Ask_me_4_a_story 5 points ago in HumansBeingBros

    Where I live its a way for municipalities to make money. They have these trucks with cages in the back and they go around swooping up dogs and then to get them dog back you have to pay a shit ton of money in fines and stuff. Its kind of like black people in Florida from 1900-2006

    [–] I dont own this joke. But i havent forgotten about it for five years. Ask_me_4_a_story 1 points ago in Jokes

    I have taught economics for ten years and Ive never heard the phrase trickle down your chin economics and it is making me laugh so hard

    [–] My great grandmother, Lucette, in the 1930s Ask_me_4_a_story 6 points ago in OldSchoolCool

    God damn, that would be a beautiful baby. Sometimes I think about babies sometimes from famous people. Like what if Otis Redding and Etta James would have had a baby? That baby's voice would have cured cancer

    [–] Chiefs will host the Ravens week 6 for MNF Ask_me_4_a_story 13 points ago in KansasCityChiefs

    Or maybe, and hear me out on this one... what if we didn't have to play the Patriots in Foxborough every single year? They aren't even in our division.

    [–] The sunrise of Miami Ask_me_4_a_story 3 points ago in pics


    [–] Brad boxberger needs to go Ask_me_4_a_story 3 points ago in KCRoyals

    I remember the Mexicutioner years, he was pretty good! But throwing your outfielders under the bus when your meat pitches get rocked is some fuck off stuff in my book.

    [–] I just spit out my coffee 😂 Ask_me_4_a_story 5 points ago in BlackPeopleTwitter

    That's fucked up. One time i sat in the back of the bus with a guy on Greyhound that had ants crawling all over him. On a related note I dont sit in the back of buses anymore

    [–] White Man Gets 10 Years in Prison for Trying to Hire Hit Man to Lynch Black Neighbor. Hitman was Undercover FBI Agent Ask_me_4_a_story 1 points ago in news

    There was a guy in a Christian band a couple years ago that paid someone to kill his wife. I think it was a lot more though. Also, it was an undercover agent

    [–] To solve homelessness Ask_me_4_a_story 17 points ago in therewasanattempt

    When we were at the parking lot of church on Sunday my 5 year old was singing loudly, I HATE BUTTS I HATE BUTTS! And then my six year year old told him you need butts, if you didn't have them you couldn't toot. Or poop. And that would be so owie. Oh, and then you could only poop out your penis! Thats when I started laughing. And the five year old goes "That funny daddy?" I said yes, definitely. So that little fucker goes yelling through the parking lot, right to the greeters face, and all throughout church "POOP OUTCHYA PENIS POOP OUTCHYA PENIS POOP OUTCHYA PENIS!