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    CrispyShizzles

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    [–] Is anybody home? CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in funny

    It looks cold outside. Let him in.

    [–] Truly a work of literary genius CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in tumblr

    Where’s the one where he keeps sticking thumbs in her mouth

    [–] Pukicho engages in sleep deprivation CrispyShizzles -1 points ago in tumblr

    Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead

    [–] Redditors, let us guess your country! What are some weird and wonderful facts about your home land? CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in AskReddit

    The region of the country I’m from is a lot nicer and more welcoming than most people think, even people in the same country. But there’s a lot of bullshit here, too.

    [–] Assassin's Creed fandom are the worst CrispyShizzles 12 points ago in terriblefandommemes

    Honestly the Assassin’s Creed games would be so much better and more interesting if they through out the modern-day stuff. “You’re a descendant of all these dudes so go relive their memories! Something something world ending, something something video game.” Or even worse “you’re just some dude and we’re friends of the dude who died in AC3 so go live through these guys’ memories!” And both always fucking interrupt the game with “OH HERE COMES A MISSION IN REAL LIFE YOU GOTTA WALK INTO A ROOM AND TALK TO SOMEONE FOR A LOOOOONG TIME, AND IF YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ANYONE EVERYONE USES BATONS BECAUSE IF THEY HAD MODERN GUNS IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE!” Like, just make each game about that assassin and nothing else. The modern storyline about Desmond and the end of the world is confusing and kinda doesn’t really go anywhere. And it’s boring.

    And I love Assassin’s Creed(I’ve only played 3, 4, and most of Unity, but my brother had the first four before 3 and let me play occasionally).

    [–] Hellou Ladiesss CrispyShizzles 54 points ago in tumblr

    He’s wearing a coconut bra

    [–] Genius idea CrispyShizzles 4 points ago in tumblr

    For the longest time I hated the HTTYD movies because I grew up on the books and they were hilarious. I love both now, but the books are seriously the opposite of the movies. Like, the entire point was that Vikings trained dragons. Like, everybody had a dragon. Hiccup was ostracized because he tried to understand the dragon language and train it like you would raise a child(a rambunctious little gremlin, in his case) instead of being a Viking and raising basically a war-dog.

    [–] This family’s matching costumes CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in nextfuckinglevel

    Good opportunity for me to practice my French. I’m better than I thought I would be.

    [–] The Ultimate Crossover. Invest now. CrispyShizzles 9 points ago in MemeEconomy

    This is the worst shit I’ve ever seen

    [–] And Just Like That, The No Edelgard Hate Post Counter is Set Back to 0 CrispyShizzles 0 points ago in fireemblem

    I am sorry that you think I’m trolling. Most of what I said I believe, but there are some things that are exaggerated for comedy. But in a conversation with a random monk/knight or whatever in Gareg Mach, they say that around 1000 years ago, Fodlan was being invaded(I forget who by) and that GM was built with the intention of “raising the next generation to fight(I’m pretty sure that’s a direct quote. I heard the convo a few days ago so I can’t be sure).” This pretty blatantly states that they’re raising and indoctrinating children to fight their battles for them. I know that’s not what GM dies by the events of FE3H, but it was founded by and still kept by the same institution. And in regards to teens being sent to battle(in the real world Middle Ages), those teens/children were, as you said, squires or sword-bearers, meaning that each of them was the servant of a knight. It was also considered poor taste/taboo to kill a squire on the battlefield, as they didn’t do any fighting. This is very different from sending teens to fight unattended(even though they are accompanied by knights on some missions, there are a lot of missions where they are sent alone). You also mentioned how the Church is the ruling body of Fodlan. I know this, and my point is that they shouldn’t be. Total oligarchic theocracies are bad, to put it lightly. I’m fine with the Church/GM sending knights to protect villages and settlements, but not with the Church having legal authority over all three powers’ respective countries. Lonato’s son Christophe was executed by the church instead of Faerghus, and the explanation was pretty shady. It also implies that the Church has final say on ALL executions in all three countries. For a final point(and this one is one hell of a reach and SPOILER TERRITORY AHEAD) the religion is called “The Church of Seiros.” Not Sothis. Seiros was just a Saint(at least, that’s how most people of Fodlan know her). Our equivalent of Joan of Arc. But Rhea has kept the religion to be focused on and centered around herself. It’s pretty corrupt.

    [–] Both sides of spook are revealed to you. What shall you do? CrispyShizzles 11 points ago in fireemblem

    Call me a 90s alt rock band bc I’m gonna smash that pumpkin bc we all know the crests are to blame

    [–] Oh God... CrispyShizzles -9 points ago in Cringetopia

    Why you booing him he’s right

    [–] And Just Like That, The No Edelgard Hate Post Counter is Set Back to 0 CrispyShizzles -10 points ago in fireemblem

    I actually think Rhea and the Church are the only irredeemable characters. The Church executes and punishes those it disagrees with, and is the actual ruling body of all of Fódlan. Also, the Gareg Mach officers academy was founded during wartime by the Church specifically to train and indoctrinate child soldiers. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Child soldiers? Indoctrination? Having the actual ruling power over multiple countries? Outlawing other religions and executing practitioners of them? This sounds like the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages!” Why yes! It does! And, like the Catholic Church of the time, the Church of Seiros fucking sucks. Yeah, I know Rhea is E X T R A T H I C C and all but still, she orders CHILDREN IN AN ACADEMY TO KILL DANGEROUS BANDITS AND ANYONE THAT OPPOSES THE CHURCH! Because “They’re the teachings of the goddess.” I’ve MET the goddess and she is a lazy little gremlin. And all of this shit happens IN PART ONE. IM NOT EVEN COUNTING THE SHIT IN PART TWO BECAUSE IT CHANGES DEPENDING ON YOUR ROUTE, BUT NOT THIS SHIT.

    [–] Why are male authors like this CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in teenagers

    Holy shit fastest reply in the West over here

    [–] Why are male authors like this CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in teenagers

    Are you reading a Mike Hammer novel?

    [–] Which one are you? CrispyShizzles 59 points ago in tumblr

    You actually look worse without your glasses, because you wouldn’t be able to look without them

    [–] Cursed_shoe CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in Cursed_Images

    “The perfect shoe for the blind earthbender.”

    [–] Nightcore doesn’t fit with everything CrispyShizzles 1 points ago in Animemes

    The nightcore remix of Rockefeller Street is the only NC song worth listening to.