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    HeroesAndVillas

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    [–] Seeking advice, not sure how to move forward with oral sex HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in sexover30

    Sure, but your advice was actually counterintuitive and could cause OP to get a yeast infection or BV.

    [–] Seeking advice, not sure how to move forward with oral sex HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in sexover30

    Soap absolutely does not belong inside your inner lips. The vagina does need rinsing and wiping, but soap will seriously fuck with the sensitive balance of your vagina. My OBGYN said, “If you wouldn’t want it in your eyes, don’t put it near your vagina.”

    OP: Do you have a detachable shower head? Use that to thoroughly rinse in and around your vagina. Use a clean wash cloth and wipe in and around the area. Use the higher pressure setting to get inside and in between the folds. If I’m feeling extra sweaty or like my period is making things smell a bit intense, I’ll put coconut oil on, in and around my vagina. It’s very mild, anti-microbial, and won’t fuck with your pH. It also smells great.

    Also, I got an electric razor which is great for quickly trimming the lower hairs without threatening your skin with razor burn or ingrown hairs. You can do it dry with baby powder, which also coincidentally smells nice. You can also get baby oil with Shea and cocoa butter that smells nice and mild and not like babies. These are all things that are safe to put down there.

    Please stay away from “feminine products” that purport to keep you smelling fresh. They are not healthy AT ALL.

    [–] MeOW my eyes HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in badwomensanatomy

    👏🏼 That’s 👏🏼 Not 👏🏼 How 👏🏼 Labia 👏🏼 Work.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas -1 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Pharma was in the trial phase of male birth control options. Most of the subjects dropped out because of the side effects. The same side effects women suffer from daily because of their birth control. I never said men are trash. I’m saying SOCIETY AS A WHOLE has collectively placed the burden on women, often to the detriment of women’s overall health.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    You can’t sue your doctor for performing an elective procedure that you asked for.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 1 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Are you just arguing for the sake of arguing? Or do you honestly think it’s fair that the entire financial, medical, and emotional burden of birth control is placed on women?

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    I’m well aware, as I’m a woman and I have one. They are immensely painful to get put in and there is a constant risk of the device perforating our uteruses.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    It was OPs choice. I believe his choice was a good one. And females take birth control because society has placed contraception on their shoulders and insurance doesn’t cover sterilization. We risk stroke, migraines, depression, weight gain, and a whole host of other issues every time we do.

    [–] Is it so hard for the woman to maybe be the initiator once in a while? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    It could be that she’s just a grown, busy woman. If I have a lot going on, dates with a person I’ve never met fall way low on the priority list. You can’t expect a woman to bend over backwards to meet a dude for the first time at the expense of other commitments in her life. You’re both taking it too personally and overgeneralizing women at the same time.

    A simple, “Sounds like things are a bit crazy for you right now! I’ll be back in town on the 10th. If things free up after then, I’d love to get together. Just let me know!”

    That’s going to make you sound secure, empathetic, and flexible. As opposed to moody, passive aggressive, and needy, which is how you’re coming off now.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 4 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    These are also potentially painful methods and hormones can have some annoying, if not dangerous, side effects for women. Good on OP for taking matters into his own hands and not only relying on his partner to prevent pregnancy. I wish more men were like this.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 0 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Let’s commend the OP for being one of the only men willing to take the burden of pregnancy prevention off of women. Though IUDs are the best method for women available, the side effects can still be life-altering and painful.

    [–] Urologist nicely denied me a vasectomy? HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    These are also potentially painful methods and hormones can have some annoying, if not dangerous, side effects for women. Good on OP for taking matters into his own hands and not only relying on his partner to prevent pregnancy. I wish more men were like this.

    [–] (IL) New employer unsure whether they can insure legally married same sex couple HeroesAndVillas 7 points ago in legaladvice

    The HR rep is the one who isn’t sure if they can insure the partner. Why would OP consult them?

    [–] If a woman says she’s on her period, is it acceptable to say “we can put a towel down” or is that gross? HeroesAndVillas 10 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    This. Women only use excuses if we think the dude is an asshole who won’t simply take “Nah.” for an answer. This also ensures you won’t be getting laid again anytime soon.

    [–] Good everyday (subtle) gold/bronze eyeshadow under $20 HeroesAndVillas 1 points ago in MakeupAddiction

    I have olive skin and brown eyes/hair and LOVE the bronze and gold shades in the Naked Smoky pallet. Dirtysweet and Radar.

    [–] First Mentions of Paul Holes? HeroesAndVillas 1 points ago in myfavoritemurder

    Didn’t they talk about him a lot when the book first came out? They did that live thing with Patton during the book tour.

    Edit: Check Episode 115- I’ll Be Gone In The Dark at Skylight Books

    [–] Rough/dominate sex tips? HeroesAndVillas 8 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Even if it isn’t extreme, you still need to discuss consent with her. She can tell you what she likes in advance and give you permission to do them spontaneously later. She may also withdraw that consent at any point, before during or after.

    But PLEASE don’t spring anything on her, ESPECIALLY anything physical and aggressive. Her version of dominated and your version could be entirely different and you could end up actually harming or traumatizing her.

    D/S relationships require MANY conversations and ALOT of trust. You earn trust through those conversations and showing that you’ve heard and understand her by supporting that with action.

    TLDR: GET CONSENT FOR EVERYTHING.