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    HeroesAndVillas

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    [–] The Neighbor (The Rest of the Story) HeroesAndVillas 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    That’s called friendship. And it’s his choice if he wants to be friends with her.

    [–] (satire) nice guys NEVER win at bars HeroesAndVillas 3 points ago in niceguys

    I’m genuinely annoyed.

    To the woman in question, how is “coming off as creepy” any different than actually being creepy?

    He came off as aggressive. That means he was behaving aggressively.

    When a woman is fearing for her safety, there’s no difference between appearing creepy and being creepy.

    [–] The Neighbor (The Rest of the Story) HeroesAndVillas 11 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Not being friends is your choice, but her wanting to be your friend isn’t about a lack of her respect for you.

    Don’t let all this bravado fool you. I think this woman was clearly distraught over this scenario and has most likely been strung along by this guy for years. She thinks you are the better choice for her, but is still having trouble breaking away from him. Maybe I’m wrong and they’ll have a great life.

    But either way, I don’t think she did any of this selfishly or maliciously and probably cares for you very much.

    The choice is yours, always. But these men are projecting some bitter bullshit onto her that I just don’t think she deserves.

    Do you?

    [–] The Neighbor (The Rest of the Story) HeroesAndVillas 8 points ago in datingoverthirty

    This whole thing is gross. Based on this response, you are either severely lacking in empathy and emotional intelligence. Or someone hurt you badly and this is how you’ve decided to cope.

    “Emotional tampon” and “emotional vomit” are not phrases that self-aware adults use.

    [–] The Neighbor (The Rest of the Story) HeroesAndVillas 7 points ago in datingoverthirty

    This is exactly what I thought. Funny that so many people have jumped on her like she did all of this on purpose. This sort of choice would be awful for anyone to make. And her feelings for her ex do not in any way make her actions deceitful or manipulative. She was just trying to be happy and, unfortunately, OP was a casualty in that attempt.

    [–] It was such a promising second date before the actual date happened. HeroesAndVillas 5 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I understand logistics are important, but I agree. Let him figure out parking and you can meet him there.

    Something I’ve learned is that it’s VERY easy for people to be well behaved for a short first date. It’s still a total crapshoot at that point. Until you’ve spent a few hours total with this person, they shouldn’t be anywhere near your apartment.

    I’m sure you’ve come a long way since your twenties, but you still have a lot of room to fortify your boundaries. It’s easy to talk yourself out of these judgements while the person is in the room and the interaction is ongoing.

    Perhaps next time, escape to the bathroom once these questions start forming. Walk yourself through the events of the night. Call or text a friend if you have to. Err on the side of “This guy could be a total creep.” Especially when he’s in your house. Just make an excuse. You started your period. You have diarrhea. Anything to get him out of there. Be jarring or gross. Just... do what you have to do to get him outta there.

    [–] Have you ever seen or showed someone a nude accidentally when looking at other photos on your phone? HeroesAndVillas 6 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Anything you “Hide” will live in a folder called “Hidden” and won’t show up in any other folders even if you had put them there before.

    [–] A question that I didn't expext to have HeroesAndVillas 8 points ago in datingoverthirty

    For many people, politics and religion have greatly affected their quality of life. ESPECIALLY for people in oppressed and marginalized groups. Removing these topics carte blanche severely diminishes a person’s ability to achieve true intimacy and actually understand what their life is like.

    [–] My [31F] Girlfriend wants to spend more money than me [30M], and it's stressing me out HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    This. Yes, you’re money conscious because of how you grew up. She’s unaware of the burden financial limitations can bring because of how she grew up.

    Considering you’re on differing ends of the spectrum, the responsibility is on both of you to meet in the middle. It’s not your responsibility to meet her all the way at the other end.

    There’s an empathy issue here that I worry about.

    [–] It’s ok to be confused Karen. These are our actual road signs. HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in myfavoritemurder

    I worked at a bar in Chicago and a regular customer was from Waterford! Everyone in her family worked for the crystal company at one point in time or another.

    [–] Fun things to do after 10, when it’s cold. No bars or nightclubs. HeroesAndVillas 0 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I disappear and come back over and over for some reason. Because goddamn, some of these people are so horrid, I wonder why they bother interacting with other humans at all. There are fumes radiating from their toxic pores.

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    It’s not my fucking job to teach you how to learn about people different from you.

    If you want to live your life judging people without any real knowledge, go for it. That just means you’re an ass.

    ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Because polyamory isn’t one man with many women. GOOGLE IT.

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    No, it really isn’t the same thing at all. Polyamory is AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONCEPT than polygamy. In fact, it’s almost the exact opposite.

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    First of all, it’s not called polygamy. It’s polyamory. You’ve decided it’s called a thing because of what you think it is. But calling it what it actually is might help. That will give you a clearer avenue to actual facts. There are many subreddits devoted to the different types of non-monogamous relationships.

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I think it would be strange to admit it up front. I’ve seen so many colleagues on OLD. That opens someone up to a lot of judgement in their professional life.

    [–] #spiritanimal HeroesAndVillas 7 points ago in TrollXChromosomes

    Came here for this.

    It’s super offensive for non-native peoples to use this term.

    [–] What's makes you petty swipe? HeroesAndVillas 7 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Pretty rude to reduce all open relationships to harems.