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    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 2 points ago in self

    This is quite aside to everything, but I wonder if you realize you were replying to a woman... a grandmother, no less. She stated her opinion, you instantly drove a man/woman wedge into it, and then you told her "Fuck you on behalf on(sic) all women"

    Like, wow. You wonder why men are scared. I suspect if I told PaddleYakker that's a beautiful sweater she's wearing, she'd smile and say thank you. And I suspect if I told you the same thing, you'd rant away at me objectifying you and tell me to fuck off as well.

    Well, ok, you're entitled to all of that... but you need to understand that your vindictive angry and narrow point of view is not shared by everyone, even (as per above) other women.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 2 points ago in self

    This makes me very sad and angry. There's so much wrong here.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 3 points ago in self

    I will definitely watch that video tonight -- you're perhaps the 10th person demanding I watch it. If nothing else, I've learned from posting my experience -- do not voluntarily talk to cops. I get it.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I would never do any of that, but I appreciate your sympathy and sentiment.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 2 points ago in self

    I agree... but the world where you have to keep looking over your shoulder and be cognizant that you're not doing something wrong that will offend someone -- who needs that? Best not even let the opportunity arise.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    While I was working with a local university, there was a huge scandal... way too much to type out... but Google Rachel Marsden and you can read all about. Anyway, she was known for making very strong bullshit scary unfounded claims... the Wiki article mentions a few; there were others. I mention it because I was in an elevator one time with a friend (this was 20+ years ago) and Rachel walked into the elevator. The minute she walked in, my friend grabbed me and pulled me out of the elevator. She was pretty confused; so was I. Doors closed and elevator kept going. And the he told me... when you see that chick, run. The other way. Don't ever be anywhere alone with her. He'd heard the stories.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I've certainly had people tell me things like that -- I don't do hugs, don't touch me because I have a cold and so on... nobody would have a problem with that. But I'm not going to go around asking permission for every little thing that might offend someone... especially offend someone on someone else's behalf. Why should I make that effort and constantly be walking on eggshells? I'll just not engage, problem solved.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    Man -- this is just the identical scenario. Maybe this is more common that we think.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    I got a 72-hour ban from the moderators of /askwomenadvice for posting it there. I guess they didn't really like the implications of the original posting.

    Not sure you're interested, but it ended up on the front page with exactly the sort of discussion I was interested in.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/a3jz1p/i_was_accused_of_sexually_assaulting_a_minor/

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 4 points ago in self

    Because the ethnicity of the girl in question is not white, but after writing the whole thing, I took out her ethnicity because, really, it doesn't have much to do with this unless there's a cultural component. In fact, I know very well not to touch Orthodox Jewish women (no matter what race) -- they touch family only. Understood. And it's not a sexual assault; just custom. Anyway, I took out her ethnicity and neglected to remove mine. It doesn't (or shouldn't) add or detract.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I'm joining your line of thinking as of today.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 2 points ago in self

    I think quite quickly, you'll very clearly have your way. The human animal is wired to be attentive to women, especially in prime mating age-ranges. We've come a long way from when men would just take whatever they want, whenever they want. And it does take some effort sometimes to actively not notice women. Like I said, the natural wiring is to look at attractive women. It's an instinct. And sure, just like controlling the rape instinct is possible, so is the leering instinct, especially if the consequences become serious.

    It just sounds like a really boring society at that point.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I've actually been yelled at for holding a door open.

    "I can open a door myself!!" -- with a sigh and eyeroll to her friend

    I hold a lot of doors open, and that's only happened once. But it happens.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    A little bit of drama is one thing, but this shit can wreck lives.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I don't know. Perhaps 10 years ago, no. But no police department wants to be accused of ignoring a sexual assault complaint. I would hope they're not wasting all day with this sort of stuff.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 0 points ago in self

    A hug doesn't imply sexual contact. Nor does a handshake. There's less contact in a handshake, but arguably, it's worse -- flesh on flesh instead of contact with a clothed back.

    At what point does a handshake become an issue?

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 3 points ago in self

    Yep, done. I give good hugs... but no more. As per above somewhere, it's never occurred to me to ask for consent to give someone a hug, and it's something I'll never do because I'll never hug another stranger "hello" again. Pretty simple.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 24 points ago in self

    I guess the weird part of it is that it's not a false accusation. The hug happened. What differs wildly is the interpretation of that act. I don't think I'm being accused of anything that didn't actually happened. It's just that I would argue what happened is no big deal; far from a crime of any sort.

    But I do agree -- truly false accusations, like we hear in the news... a few moms collude to implicate some teacher they don't like -- all of them should go to prison for a long time.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 9 points ago in self

    This story is an absolute nightmare. I'm so sorry you went through that.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 0 points ago in self

    Thank you -- my thinking is trending in this direction as well, which is a big loss for society in general when everyone starts thinking this way.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    Answered in more detail in my edit. Summary, awkward hug but nothing "creepy" about it.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 1 points ago in self

    I hear you but I have mixed feelings on it. Lawyering up, in this case, leads to more questions and a visit to the station and all the rest of it. My starting point is I didn't do anything wrong; certainly no CRIME -- so why not discuss it?

    But yes, that question is no longer rhetorical.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 3 points ago in self

    I guess part of the issue is that she believes she was victimized. It's not like it's a false claim; it did happen. The issue is how serious what happened actually is.

    This whole thing really requires discussion and understanding, not charges and lawyers.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 0 points ago in self

    That is correct, and perhaps in 40 years it will swing back when women, like men, being social animals, crave and miss some physical contact. That "Free Hugs" guy on YouTube gets a lot of action, and a lot of appetitive people -- men and women.

    I think part of the issue is that the vast majority of women wouldn't see a problem here. It's a different discussion whether the guy is super hot (awesome!) or ugly (creepy!) -- it's not about that. The issue (I think, correct me if I'm wrong) is that there is a minority making a lot of noise for the "benefit" of the majority. And the majority suffers until they decide to speak up.

    [–] I was accused of sexually assaulting a minor ITPG12052018 3 points ago in self

    I asked them if she's ever made this sort of accusation before.... they wouldn't tell me. I'd like to know if she cries wolf a lot, or whether this was the first time... among many other questions.