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    JayaBallard

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    [–] VA nominee drunkenly banged on female employee's door during overseas trip, sources say JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    Look, we’ve all been there. You’re overseas and you don’t trust the water, but you know the booze is legit. So you hit up the hotel bar for a pint or three, one thing leads to another, and you end up doing shots of something with a dead snake in the bottle and a name you can’t pronounce. You know you have an important meeting the next morning, so you stop by the hotel gift shop to get a Gatorade. Except you’re too fucked up on fermented snake venom to realize you actually just downed an entire bottle of cough syrup. Half of the ingredients may have been banned for use in livestock since the 70’s, but you don’t know that. No, all you know is that you are burning up and have a raging erection, so it’s probably best to remove your pants and cool yourself off in the fountain. It’s an honest mistake. It could happen to anybody.

    [–] Miss Universe 2013 Host Thomas Roberts Confirms: Trump Stayed Overnight in Moscow JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    You haven’t really lived until you’ve been up for 96 hours straight with a gaggle of well-hydrated lot lizards and an ounce of Russian trucker speed.

    [–] Toronto van attack suspect’s Facebook page invoked "incel rebellion" JayaBallard 31 points ago in politics

    If only these incel idiots would grow a quad and settle their grievances by head butting each other instead of going on killing sprees.

    [–] Toronto van attack suspect’s Facebook page invoked "incel rebellion" JayaBallard 18 points ago in politics

    Next week: I figure out how legal weed can fix the Middle East

    It had better involve a hookah and a vertical rotisserie.

    [–] Toronto van attack: What is an 'incel'? JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    Tell them to draw a vagina on their hand. And if that doesn’t work, maybe get them to start their killing spree with themselves.

    [–] Toronto van attack: What is an 'incel'? JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    Those people are a fucking disease. The fact that Reddit gave them a forum is reprehensible, but not exactly surprising.

    [–] Toronto van attack: What is an 'incel'? JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    Nah, man. This acid trip of a presidency isn’t even close to peaking.

    We bought the ticket in 2016. Now we take the ride.

    [–] Toronto van attack: What is an 'incel'? JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    Don’t forget the underwear bomber. I don’t think that guy managed to even burn his dick.

    [–] Manafort interviewed twice by FBI before joining Trump’s 2016 campaign, new documents show JayaBallard 18 points ago * (lasted edited 10 hours ago) in politics

    Poppy probably wasn’t the only man they had on the inside.

    I’m imagining a conversation between two guys, both wearing wires and terrified of being discovered, yet each unaware that the other is an informant. As the conversation goes on, they do increasingly ridiculous things to prove their “loyalty” to the Don.

    ———

    Meanwhile in an ice cream truck with tinted windows...

    “Damnit, they weren’t supposed to be in the same room!”

    “Should we get our man with comms involved?”

    “Not yet.”

    “But he’s about to put his dick in a...”

    “Be cool, man.”

    “But...”

    both wince

    “Oh wow, maybe you’re right. Yeah, that is a lot of blood...”

    [–] Manafort interviewed twice by FBI before joining Trump’s 2016 campaign, new documents show JayaBallard 0 points ago in politics

    ask all the fuckers smoking legal weed in Colorado what they have to say about that

    If you asked them, I imagine they’d say something like “Hold on, man, I’m making some nachos.”

    [–] Dow plunges 500 points JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    When the Donald is off his meds, so goes the economy. He’s like some sort of retarded Fisher King.

    [–] Mueller Discloses That Manafort Raid Sought Info on Don Jr.’s Trump Tower Meeting with Russian Lawyer JayaBallard 1 points ago in politics

    If you were a part of that meeting, this should precipitate your sphincter into puckering a little tighter than it already was.