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    Kissaki0

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    [–] enigma chests went missing? Kissaki0 1 points ago in Smite

    I got a three day booster on a Monday when opening...

    [–] Keep me warm, human! Kissaki0 10 points ago in gifs

    Bird poop. That's the dispenser you see.

    [–] The baby didn't even realize it happened Kissaki0 1 points ago in gifs

    Sounds like he heard about laughing gas as an anesthetic and tried to emulate that

    [–] That time Chris Pratt found his kink Kissaki0 2 points ago in videos

    Chris Pratt is an international treasure

    [–] Anybody nostalgic or miss who they were? Kissaki0 1 points ago in depression

    Yes, it is very likely the society and surroundings we created makes a great playing field for depression. Stress, a lot of input, less social and small group personal contact, less connected families and friends... A lot that helped mitigate the effects of depression in the past, or prevented it. But it's also simply more visible now.

    [–] CBT therapist asked me a tough question today. Kissaki0 3 points ago in depression

    It is a hard question. If it can be answered that's good. But the question really should be different. What do you enjoy? What can you focus on? When do you feel less shit? When do you not notice that you feel bad (eg focused on a task)?

    Happiness are fleeting moments. What we should chase is contentment and a state of mind where we can appreciate the positive,and endure and bridge the negative.

    Sometimes therapy is uncomfortable. Don't drop it too early. Or maybe you can look for a different therapist.

    [–] I get why people self-harm now Kissaki0 2 points ago in depression

    There definitely is nothing to blame. Problematic responses like self harm or numbing (drugs) are used because they are very effective in the short term. But they have negative effects in the mid and long term, and work less and less effectively, leading to worsening and chasing the initial effect.

    I hope you can see that already and prepare other skills to use in situations of stress. Eating spices, an ice cube, rubber band around wrist, some haptic tools, sports...

    [–] I think about dying constantly Kissaki0 1 points ago in depression

    It's a sad state of mind. Others may have it objectively worse, but our subjective interpretation and state of mind can be even more heavy. Without negative interpretation hardships are not a big problem. But with how subjectively hard it is, you can forgive yourself for it. You're not the only one. It's reasonable. Its understandable.

    The only think we can do is to repeatedly and continuously try to escape the negative cycle. And with patience and time we can escape it. We, our personality, experience, knowledge and situation change over time. It's a troublesome hard road at the moment, but if you continue to walk on it despite the burdens it will get better. You have to trust on that.

    Anything you want to talk about? What's heavy on your mind, what exhausts you?

    [–] Only time when I'm "happy", is when I don't have to do anything, and even then I feel like shit Kissaki0 1 points ago in depression

    I'm still frustrated about this sometimes or when I think about it, but I learned to mostly accept it and just do what I can and not think about what I couldn't too much. There is so much more I would like to do and have time for. Sadly it's just not possible. When the thought arises I put it aside, maybe focus on the positive of what I was able to do or was otherwise positive in that time.

    [–] Work found out... And my 21st Birthday Kissaki0 2 points ago in depression

    It's great you did a lot of activity even if you didn't feel like it, and it's great you could enjoy some of it.

    [–] That time Chinese media mistook a fleshlight for a mushroom Kissaki0 1 points ago in videos

    Why do you believe the report that it was buried but not that it's a mushroom?

    [–] That time Chinese media mistook a fleshlight for a mushroom Kissaki0 1 points ago in videos

    Nah, you just put it in your friends or neighbours garage, next to the other flashlights.

    [–] Interview with parents whose children spent over $1000 in microtransactions. Kissaki0 2 points ago in pcgaming

    I don't get what you think I wrote and I don't get what you're saying. So no, I don't see the irony in it.

    I posted a witty comment to your reply in reference to the comment you replied to. My comment rephrased yours. So it supported your argument more than it disagreed with it.

    [–] Hou Yi Ricochet and Discordia Apple bounces are kinda iffy Kissaki0 1 points ago in Smite

    What? I'd like a source on that. Such a generalized statement is misleading at least, just wrong at worst.

    They obviously have to run the same code. It makes no sense to have more than one implementation of the same thing for no advantage.

    [–] The buffs in joust don't have your name on it! Kissaki0 0 points ago in Smite

    Did you try sending a pm to them and ended up making a reddit post? Text certainly looks like it.

    [–] Is anyone even seeing this? Kissaki0 2 points ago in depression

    Yeah, but 8 hours a night does not. Depending on how their day is/goes 9 would be fine as well. Maybe they just need that much sleep right now.

    And for the day naps, that’s why I asked for more information. Maybe it’s too much sleep that makes them sleepy/exhausted. Maybe it is temporary. Maybe they are that much under stress that they are that exhausted.

    [–] how the fuck do people have motivation to do shit? Kissaki0 1 points ago in depression

    Our interpretation of what we experience is always tainted by our state. We are not always able to chose. But we can learn to accept negative emotions and not stay in them, which would make our situation and those negative influences worse.

    Just like the phrase "choose to be happy". It can be an insult to those incapable of choosing to be happy. Because after all, if they had the choice they obviously would have chosen to do so.

    But I hope that is not how my message gets interpreted, because that is obviously not my belief or intention. Still, even if conscience and free will is not all powerful, we are still in control and can learn to do and see stuff differently. We can learn to be happy. We can learn to accept negative emotions as they come up, and let them go. Trust in that they will perish again, and focus on the positive. Because that will make us happy/content.

    I was rather dismissive about self responsibility and the choice of being happy as well for some time. But in the end, it is true. Even if we do not in the beginning or not always have the actual choice, it is still our choice to learn to use and to decide.

    You can continue to dismiss it, tell yourself the others just don't understand (and if they are unreflected about it that is true - but I'd like to think I do understand, because I've been there), and bath in your own negativity, and identify yourself through your negativity and hardships. Or you can try to be open, and take small steps to improving your situation and perception. Because they are very much changeable. It's not easy or little work, but it is the choice you can make or not make.

    [–] Panda terror Kissaki0 1 points ago in aww

    Put them in a cage, with nothing else to do, of course they’ll get excited like that.

    [–] Childhood trauma has ruined me. I just want to die. Kissaki0 1 points ago in depression

    How old are you? Even adults, and even strong man figures can be vulnerable and weak. (Wish I could find the video I recently watched of a hollywood celebrity, strong man, talked about sexual harassment; he didn't expect it, he was so shocked, and felt so weak - he talked about it on stage.) But that is not what defines you. You had shitty situations in the past, but you are not those bad experiences. They gave you burdens, but you can learn to handle them and weaken their power over you.

    Drugs are great numbness tools, but problems are only pushed away and not resolved. It is important to work on your mind, to resolve those problems. Drugs will only numb you and have negative consequences in the long run.

    It can be very hard to even exist, and go on. But you can endure it. It will inevitably get better. As you cut negative bonds, and grow up, you are in control of your life. You will learn to handle negative emotions and situations. You will learn to notice negative influences. Weaken their impact, and when you're in a bad state how to get out of it more quickly.

    Make sure to focus on the positive. Experiment. Maybe write a positivity diary. Do stuff you enjoy. Do stuff for yourself. And give that weight. Acknowledge that what you mange to do.

    Have you thought about getting professional help? Doing therapy?

    [–] how the fuck do people have motivation to do shit? Kissaki0 7 points ago in depression

    If you are looking for a reason to get up in the morning you are already in a negative state of mind. There is no satisfying reason you will find because there is none.

    On the other hand, if you decide to do stuff you already have a reason to get up.

    You can make it a rule to get up especially because you don't want to. Because you know staying in bed is detrimental to your mental health. You are doing it for yourself. Out of responsibility for yourself. There, you already have a reason.

    A morning routine can help. Whenever you get up, take the time to drink a coffee or tea, do a workout, take a shower or whatever. Something that is decently pleasing, that you can do every day without negative impact.

    Find some (little) things you can do. Hobbies. Housework. Stuff that you can enjoy or mentally focus on.

    [–] do any depression sufferers feel as if they have been robbed several years / opportunities of their life due to their ongoing mental illness? Kissaki0 2 points ago in depression

    Nothing good can come out of thinking negatively about our situation like that. It only sprouts dissatisfaction and motional burden.

    Our situation it is an inevitable fact. The only thing we can productively do about it is accept that. We may have it harder than others, we may be mindfully stronger because of it, we may have missed a lot we would have liked to have happened. But the dissatisfaction only comes from our own views, our own subjective beliefs of what should have been. But there was no other way. We did our best and what happened happened.

    The only thing we can do is to continue doing our best, take measures to impact our future, accept and excuse our inabilities, and acknowledge our positives and successes - even the small ones. Stuff that may come easy to others but comes hard to us should especially be acknowledged, even if intuition says it is no big deal and "should have just worked anyway".

    It’s great you found change, a new beginning. But it is only just that - a beginning. Mental issues take time to resolved. Finding friends can be hard. You can only do so much to enable possibility. There is not shortcut, no easy solution.

    And at your age you are only just at the beginning of life. You will learn more about yourself and what you need, how you can notice negative influences and act so they do not drive you, and that when you get into a bad state how you get out of that state quicker.

    I've never really felt missed opportunities were stolen from me. Yes, it is unfortunate that I have missed out on many things, and still do miss out on a lot of stuff. But it is what it is. Luckily I have a great family that supports me. So my sparse friendship and little real world friendship or romance interaction does not hit too hard. Seeing others can trigger big dissatisfactions within us. But all we can do is acknowledge those feelings and put them aside. It is what it is. We are in the situation we are in. There is nothing good in thinking about what could have been, what we missed out on.

    People often identify themselves by their problems. We are not our problems though. You don't have to be scared of progress, of change, or of relapses. The road ahead is not a straight one. It will always be you in control of your life. Experiment. See what the change does for you. Try stuff out. If you feel it is not for you, simply stop doing it. Sometimes it makes sense to do stuff despite intuition telling us otherwise, if the action then has a positive impact on us - short or long term. There will inevitable be ups and downs, relapses. But we learn to handle them better.

    You can't predict the future. You can allow and nurture the possibility of friendship, but it's also a bit of luck to find good friends. Give it time. Try stuff out. Try some people out. You have many years ahead of you, and there is no way you can reasonably predict your situation in 10, 20 or 30 years. Be patient. :)

    While a lot of people like partying, there is also a lot of people who don't like that. Just unfortunate those are harder to spot and come into contact with. :)

    Wishing you all the best on your journey.