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    MADDOGCA

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    [–] My boyfriends mom is a narcissist MADDOGCA 1 points ago in raisedbynarcissists

    What helped me realize that my upbringing was not okay was constantly being surrounded by people in healthy environments. Being able to invite him over to spend time with your family will definitely make him realize that.

    [–] Did you grow up feeling a lack of self-identity? MADDOGCA 3 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago) in raisedbynarcissists

    I did. It wasn't until I moved out when I started getting more comfortable with who I was despite the fact that I can hear my nmom getting angry because I'm listening to a song with an electric guitar on it (electric guitar is an invention of Satan according to her), or that I'm wearing Nike Air Force 1's (people that wear those are "bad" people according to her.)

    Growing up, I had no social life until high school (this one even surprised me) because I had to be an exact replica of what my nmom wanted me to be. She never wanted me to go to any after school clubs (I had to go straight home after school), I had to dress the way she wanted me to dress, listen to the music she loved, convinced me that anyone that wasn't Catholic was a bad person out to hurt me, and the list just goes on. As a result, I was (and probably still am) a pretty hated person in my hometown (it's a small town) because I took my nmom's words to heart and she could not understand why I never had friends for the longest of time (gee, I wonder why!?)

    As a result, I only preserve my true self-identity to people that matter. I don't think I ever want my nmom nor the nfamily that is my nmom's side of the family to see it neither because they don't deserve to see the real me after trying to keep it hidden for most of my childhood.

    [–] The Future of DIRECTV NOW Is HBO Max According to AT&T MADDOGCA 1 points ago in cordcutters

    I had DTVN until a few days ago. I got an email from DTVN stating that my bill was going to go up to $75. I complained on chat to which they told me it was a glitch and there was nothing to worry about. Last month, my bill went from $55 to $75 and my HBO magically disappeared. When I went to cancel it, I was told by a rep that they could give a great deal at $65 a month for 3 months.

    Enjoyed my last month until a few days ago. Debating on Sling but am okay with HBO Now, Netflix, Hulu, and TV antenna.

    [–] Another price increase? Wth is this crap? MADDOGCA 1 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago) in DirecTVNow

    This is exactly why I cancelled. Check your payment history. I was told that was a "glitch" but I ended up paying $75 mo. for two months when I saw my statements. Shame on me for not seeing the first one, but I dropped them when I saw the second one.

    [–] fuck n-parents and their shitty "apologies" MADDOGCA 6 points ago in raisedbynarcissists

    They're never authentic.

    I only got one apology from my nmom. It was on 12/31/2015 at approximately 10:45PM. She called and before she said the "apology," she started the sentence with, "I went to church today and the priest told me to tell you..."

    I hung up on her when she finished her sentence. She didn't even acknowledge what she was sorry for. All she said was that she was sorry that I moved out in anger. I didn't even move out in anger in the first place. I didn't even know the term "narcissism" until I went to therapy 2 years after moving out (a few years before this fake apology.)

    [–] How Many Of You Literally Begged Your Parents To Get A Divorce? MADDOGCA 28 points ago * (lasted edited 8 days ago) in raisedbynarcissists

    I still wish they were divorced despite the fact that I'm a grown ass man with my own life. Since childhood, their marriage screamed "INCOMPATIBLE!" I was the scapegoat so my nmom would say it's my fault their marriage was ruined because life was "so much better" before she found out she was having a second child. My edad reassured me that she's (in his words) "been a fucking bitch way before you (I) existed!" With all that knowledge and yet you still a ring on that?

    Anyways, rant over.

    [–] Please tell me it’s going to be okay MADDOGCA 1 points ago in raisedbynarcissists

    It's terrifying at first because you fear the unknown. Once you know how to live life on your own, you're going to tell yourself that you wish you did this sooner. That's exactly what I said when I moved out of my toxic environment.

    At least you know you live in a toxic environment and know you need to leave for your mental health. I never realized how horrible my environment was until I left. I tried moving out three times and didn't because my nmom convinced me it was a bad idea. My nmom was "terrified" for "my safety" when I finally made the decision to move 3 hours away, but in reality, what she was worried about was that I was going to figure her out for what she really was which is what ended up happening thanks to my therapist and this subreddit. Now we're in VLC as a result and this would've never happened if I didn't make that jump.

    Congratulations on reaching this step and I wish you nothing but the best!

    [–] What "uncool" stuff do you do because you enjoy it? MADDOGCA 32 points ago in AskReddit

    I guess I'm the odd one where I'm not in a relationship and I still want to go home instead of going to other places in downtown (I work in the downtown of my city.) But then again, I got a kitty that likes to snuggle when I'm on the couch, but I don't think cats count.

    [–] What "uncool" stuff do you do because you enjoy it? MADDOGCA 4 points ago in AskReddit

    Playing an accordion. Although to my surprise, some people find that cool so I guess it's still has its place in the US.

    [–] Anyone able to sense coldness/emotionlessness when narcs hug you or spill crocodile tears and tell you they love you? MADDOGCA 3 points ago * (lasted edited 15 days ago) in raisedbynarcissists

    Yup. And it's infuriating when my nmom does this. When my friend's parents would hug me and tell me they care for me, it felt genuine, welcoming, and loving. When my nmom does it, it feels fake and discomforting.

    [–] Does it seem like almost every SiriusXM music station is on a shuffle of the same 30 songs? MADDOGCA 2 points ago in siriusxm

    I'll give you that one. The Groove has actually been a pretty good channel for the most part. Otherwise, I can predict the songs that play on all the other channels.

    [–] Does it seem like almost every SiriusXM music station is on a shuffle of the same 30 songs? MADDOGCA 4 points ago in siriusxm

    I hear ya. When I get tired of radio streaming services (I love Dash radio, but sometimes I want to use my own playlists), Spotify and my personal music collection are constant reminders that there's more than 30 songs in existence.

    [–] "My childhood was much worse than yours, though I know you don't see it that way" MADDOGCA 3 points ago in raisedbynarcissists

    It varies by person. Personally, I believe my nmom's stories. My ngrandma is a BITCH and a nasty old woman, so when my nmom tells me stories about her abuse, I know she's not lying. I know she's not lying because it showed in the way she raised me (or lack thereof), because every abuse my nmom encountered through ngrandma, she pretty much did to us as kids and just like how ngrandma denies it, my nmom does as well.

    [–] People who set off fireworks in the days leading up to July 4th, why? MADDOGCA 1 points ago in AskReddit

    I just had a neighbor light them off at 3:30AM and I'm here because it woke up me up completely and can't sleep.

    Luckily, I got the day off, but fuck, I hate that neighbor!