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    Modest_MaoZedong

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    [–] My perfect man on the morning we sent him over the Rainbow Bridge - 2/08/19 - We love you forever, General Grievous! Modest_MaoZedong 7 points ago in pics

    Thanks, yours too. I had never had a cat, I actually was allergic. But I saw him at the vet when I brought in a baby possum I found on the road, and I just knew he was supposed to be my buddy. He was about to go to the shelter, but I took him home that day. Best decision I ever made. Powered through my allergy and eventually my immune system just gave in haha. He was my best friend, as I’m sure your cat was yours as well.

    [–] My perfect man on the morning we sent him over the Rainbow Bridge - 2/08/19 - We love you forever, General Grievous! Modest_MaoZedong 9 points ago in pics

    Thank you. He was a really really good boy. We adopted him two years ago and wish we had longer to be with him, but we will forever adopt senior special needs pets in his honor. My baby boy :)

    [–] Rant: I'm your doctor, please stop. Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    F THAT. You're a young, hot, smart MD and you should be able to wear those cute clothes on days you don't have to wear scrubs! Keep doing you. I'm sure you're a phenomenal physician.

    [–] Rant: I'm your doctor, please stop. Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Damn - you're in a tricky spot because if your team is laughing it off, I'm not sure if a rebuttal would look appropriate or not. It's so awkward to stand up for yourself too, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we, females, are kind of conditioned to just accept this behavior and worried about "coming off as a bitch". It sucks.

    Have you ever tried something that feels scripted, something real dry and direct so you can kind of just rattle it off and move on? Like a boundary establishing remark? Maybe something along the lines of "Comments like that make me uncomfortable, which distracts me from my work. I am here to learn how to be the best doctor I can be, which is important to me, so I'd appreciate it if we stayed professional." Kind of robotic haha but at least it sets boundaries and doesn't insult them/aka damage their ego and make them even more defensive and diffcult. It's very clear.

    [–] Rant: I'm your doctor, please stop. Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Right? God it makes me want to SCREAM. My manager not having my back fully sends me over the edge. I really think it's so messed up to expect me to continue working with a client when they clearly have zero respect for me. Also, perhaps a harsh perspective in mental health, but maybe being denied their short term reward over and over will finally instill some respect. I am so sick of being uncomfortable. Fortunately, I will get to quit soon and go back to school to finish PA pre-requisites. Woohoo! Lol - would you rather..... be hit on or do O Chem? Haha.

    Also - I am giggling trying to imagine your last name. Really hoping it's Snickers.

    [–] Rant: I'm your doctor, please stop. Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Thanks ! I hope things get better for you soon too...didn’t mean for that comment to be all about me I actually am interested in hearing feedback from other female providers in how to establish firm and safe boundaries while also being mindful of the line of work we are in. So please let us know how you decide to handle these instances moving forward!!!

    Best of luck!

    [–] Rant: I'm your doctor, please stop. Modest_MaoZedong 109 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Wow OP I am super sorry you are having to even say this. Being a young female in the industry certainly has its negative sides. I am not a physician, I am applying to PA school, but this is an interesting post to read right now because i was *trying* to have this conversation with my manager the other day about my patients . I work in mental health, specifically with older adult clients with severe and persistent mental illness. My manager is an older woman who frequently brushes off my complaints of the way some males treat me and it's really on my last fucking nerve. She doesn't experience this same level of attention from men and I get the feeling she thinks I am begin a self absorbed person. I , in my own opinion, am a decent looking female and I am 28. I have a bubbly personality and try to give people body language cues that insinuate I am actively listening and giving them my undivided attention.

    Unfortunately, this often leads to me being told that it's "too bad I'm married" (because we had such a chance if I wasn't??), my voice arouses them, being asked to help teach them how to access porn / use their phone for porn, that they just want a "platonic friendship" with me (not what I do at all...) and situations in which clients try to get me to take them into the bathroom, in the company car alone, etc. A lot of my clients have physical, cognitive, and sensory impairments, but my god. I just don't know where to draw the line between, "okay I am a provider and it is my job to provide through the bullshit" and "I don't deserve to be treated this way by any single person, regardless of physical or cognitive limitations". My manager really doesn't seem to give much of a fuck or even believe me. I called HR on her once, as she was asking me to go visit a client in the community. It wasn't until speaking with a colleague that I found out that this client groped a female colleagues vagina. The fact that I wasn't warned about that is completely fucking absurd.

    TLDR; whenever I, a woman, complain about being sexually harassed, I feel like my boss and other bosses I've had chalk it up to me being arrogant. I am a VERY non-arrogant person.

    [–] 15 year old cat with IBD on Prednisone ... is he happy? Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in cats

    Thanks :) It's difficult because you always feel SO selfish, like you're doing it because you're tired of the meds, and cleaning up poop, and the incessant yowling my god. But at the end of the day, it's really about the fact that there wouldn't be the meds and the poop and the screaming yowling if he wasn't feeling REALLY really really bad.

    [–] 15 year old cat with IBD on Prednisone ... is he happy? Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in cats

    Hey thanks for responding. That's a really good point. I also try to remind myself that if I was really sick and someone was like hey let's go to the doctor! And I just got sleepy and fell asleep...and that's all I knew? Then that would be okay with me.

    [–] 15 year old cat with IBD on Prednisone ... is he happy? Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in cats

    Thanks for your response - they have checked kidney and they seem to be doing fine. It seems more like liver to the vet, or just severe IBD. It's more the issue of the prednisone like fixing him as much as making him strung out and miserable that I'm concerned with. We're just so happy to get the vomiting under control.

    [–] When did your cats stop playing? Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in cats

    My cat has recently stopped playing in the last year. He used to get the zoomies and sprint around the house at night. Now he sleeps all day and cries all night. It's so sad :( He's 15 though and pretty sick.

    [–] 15 year old cat with IBD on Prednisone ... is he happy? Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in cats

    PS - all his labs are normal, but they said he could have liver disease / lymphoma that just isn't showing significant lab values.

    [–] When was your last “I gotta get the hell out of here” moment? Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Damn unfortunately mine was too late - but obviously I came out alright.

    Was walking to the corner store with some friends in college, on a Tuesday night. These sketchy ish dudes that I’d seen around before at like jam band cover shows and stuff came up and asked for directions to a local music venue . Seemed plausible enough. I was the only one from the town we were in, so I gave them really specific directions and they seemed super grateful.

    In the traditional dead - head sense, they continued to chat in a friendly manner, I didn’t feel weird yet. They asked what we were up to that night, it was going on so long I didn’t think anything of it. We told them we were going to see Curren$y that night. My “get the fuck out of there” moment was when they both gave each other a weird look and snickered after I said that.

    They said that was funny, because they were trying to get some currency too, and asked if I had any money they could borrow, i said no. I can imagine this lasted about 7 seconds, but it felt like 10 minutes as they both lifted their shirts and pulled guns out of their waistbands . They pressed them to my head and I remember reflexively just throwing everything in my hands on the ground. They took it and ran.

    It really didn’t dawn on me how easy it would have been for them to shoot me in the head til right now, typing this. Anyway, I testified, they went to jail. A few weeks later it dawned on me why these guys looked so familiar- they’d asked to borrow money a few weeks earlier at a show and I just bought them both PBR’s and Called it even. They had both thanked me by “sending good vibes” 😂😂😂

    God the irony is palpable. They were both detoxing from heroin and needed to get money to buy more. Sucks. Hope they both get clean and live good lives.

    [–] State EMT license timeline? I'm in Oregon. Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in NewToEMS

    Sweet! Just to show up on the website you mean?

    [–] Creepy Dermatologist told me he loved me Modest_MaoZedong 3 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Good for you for considering reporting it - my friend went to an Ob/Gyn once that made her SUPER uncomfortable. She didn’t report it (for those of you commenting that you had a freeze reaction, that’s SUPER common and understandable). Anyways, turns out this MD had Alzheimer’s. It was so scary for so many patients to be seeing someone who was impaired in this way, as well as this man probably wouldn’t have wanted his reputation as a physician to end this way.

    Your doctor sounds like a straight creep. Regardless, the authoritative nature of a physician’s role in our lives often leaves people complacent with inappropriate behavior. It takes brave people to stand up for themselves and to anyone who make you uncomfortable.

    [–] Since when did Chris start going by Goose? Modest_MaoZedong 5 points ago in bachelor

    Since bachelor in paradise. I guess he called himself that on bachelorette and on BIP they introduced him as that and it stuck. He and crystal are so terrible and so perfect for each other 😂😂

    [–] What stupid thing have you done just because you were in love? Modest_MaoZedong 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Let someone live in my house for free because I really loved them . Turns out they knew this and were just feigning the impression we were in a relationship for a free ride. They actually had a girl that was their real girlfriend who knew about the situation. Pretty messed up. I’ve never felt like a bigger chump in my life 😂😂

    [–] I told my best friend of a decade that I liked him as ‘more than a friend’ and he turned me down in the nicest way possible Modest_MaoZedong 2 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    Good for you. It’s so hard to do and it takes a lot of courage. This is not to say you should try it again (at least not in the same day hehe) but I did this with my best guy friend too... he turned me down. That was a few years ago, and we got married 3 weeks ago today 😇 ya never know what will happen! May not be the same person, but could be another one of your friends down the road.

    [–] Thank you. Modest_MaoZedong 3 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    My heart aches for you. My husband and I actually had a conversation about what we’d do if one of us passed away, and I thought about it afterwards. I love him so much, just as Randy loved you, so I’ll tell you some of the things I would want the love of my life to do in case I left them...I have a feeling these are the kind of things he’d want for you too:

    -Call in the big dogs, call any and all of your friends, acquaintances, nice neighbors, etc. and get some help with cleaning, cooking, laundry. Just so you can help with however much you have the energy for, and take a break if you need.

    -Cry it out. It’s like puking ... you really don’t want to do it but you gotta get it out. Scream and cry and break shit and that’s fine. Again, take a break when you need.

    -If you have the means, make a list of all your favorite things and have someone go get them for you, like a self care kit . Grounding method helps: favorite touch (soft blanket or socks, bathrobe), favorite smell (lotion, candle), favorite taste (think like what you’d want if you were sick, soup, ginger ale, crackers...your body has a hard time digesting things when you’re very stressed), favorite sight (DVDs, magazines) and favorite sound (out a comfort movie or music on in the background).

    -Most importantly, know that little by little, it will become more and more bearable to live without me . And I wish that I could’ve stayed here with you but I couldn’t and that blows. But PLEASE don’t sit around and not live your life bc you miss me because I couldn’t handle that. (Plus we have a strict no moping policy in our house). And know that I love you forever and will probably see you again one day and we’ll get to keep loving each other there .

    Anyways, this is what I’d say to my husband if I left him here on earth. I hope there’s something in there that can help you grieve, cope, and just make it through the next phase of your life. Please PM if you have questions or need additional help.