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    Nika65

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    [–] We had our first kiss and I’m low key panicking Nika65 2 points ago in datingoverforty

    She opened a Match profile and I happened to be one of the first people to message her. Within a few hours she had deleted her Match account because she was very uncomfortable with all the attention she was getting and, sadly, some of the inappropriate messages from losers. She apparently liked me because I had actually read her profile and was talking to her about real things. In any event, I suggested a coffee meeting and she said yes. It was at the coffee meeting that she told me that she was in a really happy place in her life and wasn't sure if she wanted to start dating. Instead of being angry about this I respected what she had to say and told her no problem and would love to remain friends. The friendship turned out to be a wonderful foundation for us to build what has been, so far, a really amazing relationship.

    Edit: Ironically, the day I saw her Match profile was also the day that I had decided to not renew my Match account because I was tired of OLD and didn't think it would ever lead to anything healthy...lol

    [–] We had our first kiss and I’m low key panicking Nika65 2 points ago in datingoverforty

    The woman I am dating now...I had very strong feelings from the beginning with her. Very early on she told me she wasn't sure if she was ready to date. I really appreciated her honesty and told her I would be happy just being friends and doing some social things together. That worked for a few months were we talked a lot and got to know each other with no pressure of a relationship.

    Then, one day, something just clicked and we had this mind blowing sex. I was pretty much all in but while we were cuddling and talking after she told me that she had been in some abusive and controlling relationships in the past. I was floored with her openness and honesty about it. Frankly, it made me love her even more....knowing that she could be that open and trusting of me. In any event, I told her that I completely understood her need to take things slow and I would go at literally any pace that ensured she was safe and comfortable. I meant it too...I wanted her to be comfortable. Within 4 weeks of that first time in bed she was telling me that she loved me and I was telling her the same thing. We are so happy together that I have a hard time believing it is all real. But I don't think any of this would have been possible if she wasn't open and honest with me about her feelings, intentions, and past. So, I guess I am saying (in a convoluted and long way) is to be open and honest with him about your needs and wants. If he loves you, he will be happy to go at any pace you need in order to be happy and healthy. You deserve those things. Good luck!

    [–] Dating someone who stays at his ex's when visiting his kids. How do I get my head around this? Nika65 1 points ago in datingoverforty

    No offense taken and you are right. I wasn’t trying to indicate that I had all the answers. I’m sure OP’s situation is unique to her. Thanks!

    [–] Dating someone who stays at his ex's when visiting his kids. How do I get my head around this? Nika65 4 points ago in datingoverforty

    I totally agree with everything you say although many of the comments seem rather harsh to the OP and basically say it is clearly one thing. Except for rare situations, no one really knows what is going on. Anyway, I hope everyone is happy and successful in their dating.

    [–] Dating someone who stays at his ex's when visiting his kids. How do I get my head around this? Nika65 4 points ago in datingoverforty

    Yea, I saw those comments and I am not so sure those people have actually experienced this situation. Of course he could be lying to you but what you described does not scream "lying" to me. Only you can make that decision and I am sure you are able to do so. I found that being totally open and honest with my new SO handles all of these potential issues. I will say that I have been divorced for almost 2 years now and it sounds like that might be different than your situation. Also, my ex vacates the house. But, my ex and I are on great terms and we communicate all of the time when it comes to our kids. I have also made this clear to my SO so she understands that I will be speaking to her frequently when it comes to my kids.

    [–] Dating someone who stays at his ex's when visiting his kids. How do I get my head around this? Nika65 6 points ago in datingoverforty

    I do this....it is called Nesting. I have an apartment and on my weekends my ex leaves the house and I stay over there with my kiddos. Personally, I hate sleeping there but I would much rather inconvenience myself than my kids. It has worked out really great for my kids and that is all that matters with me.

    I have been dating a woman for a few months now and she is totally cool with this. On my weekends we talk a lot but we also know that, for the immediate future, that is my time with my kids and she is very understanding about this. She has never indicated a problem with this and, quite frankly, I would be put off if she did. Just because I am sleeping there doesn't mean I have any unhealthy connections to my ex. I find jealousy to be a big turn off at this age and stage in my life.

    Just my experience and thought I would share. Good luck to you.

    [–] If ghosting is the worst, how should I handle this one? Nika65 16 points ago in datingoverforty

    If someone is inappropriately using their social media connection with you I don't think it is "ghosting" to ignore and/or block them. Life is too short to be worrying about things like that....block him and move on. :)

    [–] /r/Chicago's Weekly Questions & Conversation Thread - 2/17/2020 Nika65 3 points ago in chicago

    Hi, my son and several of his friends from Boston College are going to spend their Spring Break in our city. They are staying in the River North area. They are not old enough for bars. Does anyone have any suggestions beyond the typical touristy things for people in this age group to do? They are in the City from March 4th through the 7th. If it helps, all of these kids are theatre people in college but they all have limited budgets so seeing any of the bigger shows currently in town is not in their plans. Thank you very much for any suggestions!

    [–] A 350k Bad Beat hit at my local casino this week and the dealer told me the winner tipped.... $1. Wow. Nika65 2 points ago in poker

    It is a jackpot, not the actual hand you are playing. So, for example, 4 Aces Beats 4 Kings. The player with 4 Aces will get the full pot on the table, whatever that is, plus 25% of the Bad Beat Jackpot amount. The player who suffered the Bad Beat (4 Kings) gets 50% of the Bad Beat Jackpot amount. The rest of the players who were dealt a hand will equally split 25% of the Bad Beat Jackpot.

    [–] A 350k Bad Beat hit at my local casino this week and the dealer told me the winner tipped.... $1. Wow. Nika65 1 points ago in poker

    50% to the hand loser; 25% to the hand winner; and 25% split between the remaining players at the table who were dealt a hand. Dealers do not get any share. Only tips.

    [–] Can you believe that ? Nika65 3 points ago in DeadBedrooms

    Hes been locked in bedroom for over 36 hours watching porn. His phone my phone and web. Yes all at same time. Well I knew better but I was trying to make light of it by saying his eyes hard to hurt.. Well he got so mad and told me that it was taking all he had not to slap the shit out of me.

    No offense and I know life decisions are hard but.....why is there even anything after this? If you are still in this relationship at this point perhaps you need to do some serious self reflection? Some people just are not worth it. Good luck to you, I truly hope you find some happiness.

    [–] A 350k Bad Beat hit at my local casino this week and the dealer told me the winner tipped.... $1. Wow. Nika65 0 points ago in poker

    What I was told: It was at a 1/2 table and none of the people were regulars. The winner was from out of town (Tennessee). This is in a suburb of Chicago. They said the people who got the table share tipped a little bit but the winner tipped $1 and the other gut who got 25% also tipped a very small amount. These dealers are forced to pool all of their tips so it affects all of them. Felt bad for them because the last month or two had been crazy busy with the BB approaching then exceeding 300K. I am sure they were all hoping for a nice tip when it came in. Really too bad.

    [–] A lot of men lie about wanting "Good Women". Nika65 5 points ago in DeadBedrooms

    ...And a lot of women lie about wanting a good man.

    I suppose what you wrote likely applies to both sexes.

    [–] Dorothy anonymously bakes treats & leaves them for our apartment community. She was recently caught. Nika65 1 points ago in pics

    She is single and has some sort of medical condition that makes vocalizing very hard for her. Everyone in the community loves Dorothy. The worst kept secret in the building is that the treats are from her.... :)

    [–] Dorothy anonymously bakes treats & leaves them for our apartment community. She was recently caught. Nika65 6 points ago in pics

    Our apartment building has a common area with a pool table, kitchen, chairs, multiple tables and a free coffee and hot chocolate machine. It is a very nice place. She leaves them right next to the coffee machine.