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    [–] AITA for disagreeing with my friend's idea of a 'microaggression'? PerceivedSlight 23 points ago in AmItheAsshole

    I think a good resolution would be if ted said something to frank that made frank uncomfortable, frank could tell ted it makes him uncomfortable and ted could acknowledge and respect franks feelings and they could put it behind them and just get along better now that the air is clear.
    But I feel like in reality it seems like...
    1. Ted says something and Frank gets heated and upset and starts shit.
    2. Ted says something and Frank lets Ted know that makes him uncomfortable. Ted gets super fucking butthurt and defensive and heated and starts shit.
    3. Ted says something. Frank lets him know that makes him uncomfortable. Ted acknowledges and respects Franks feelings.
    Clarence overhears this exchange and runs to his local lynch mob.
    There's a sale on torches.
    Social media shows up with a keg.
    Ted gets called down to HR for mandatory sensitivity training.
    Frank feels like he's been caught in a shitstorm.
    Ted makes an AITA post and Jordon Peterson somehow gets involved.

    [–] WIBTA if I told my 12 year old niece that her parents are probably secretly reading all her text messages? PerceivedSlight 18 points ago in AmItheAsshole

    Why would she ever? In those coming of age years you start to see your parents as just humans. You see them as idols as a child but as a teen you begin to cultivate the independence and experience to spot their flaws and it kind of sucks.
    And beyond the feelings had about it, lessons are learned about the kind of relationship and expectations that are possible on a practical level.
    Lessons learned here:
    Regardless of their intentions, if I want to keep something private I really need to go the extra mile to keep it from them. They dont trust me. They dont have the confidence in me not to wonder. They will pry given the chance. And they will throw what they find back in my face.

    What did they expect?

    [–] MIL cant accept thay my baby is lactose... PerceivedSlight 1 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    I dont know about OP but my mom is still reeling from an era when the food pyramid said you need to eat half a plate of carbs and fat is the devil.
    She is a product of her upbringing. There was a time when "fat free and sugar free!" Was on every package.

    [–] UPDATE: Whose child is this anyway? PerceivedSlight 1 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    I agree with this comment most of all. "I just think", "because", "i feel" invite discussion. Its not a discussion.

    [–] MIL snatching baby from my arms. PerceivedSlight 2 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    Just so you know, you're not the one ruining any sort of relationship with your MIL and son. Your MIL is making it difficult for herself by being unreasonable and selfish. You're only enforcing reasonable boundaries.

    [–] AITA my 19 year old has had 3 abortions. She wants to move back in with me and I said sure, as long as you don’t end up pregnant. Family thinks I’m wrong. PerceivedSlight 0 points ago in AmItheAsshole

    ESH - I'm going to put on my armchair therapist hat and on top of that I'm going to put on my projection hat. Your daughter sounds like a sex addict. Her mindset may seem similar to a gambling addict. It's not actually the sex, it's the risk. Its hanging out over the edge. She's mentally ill and needs serious help.
    Maybe your family or local social atmosphere has normalized that for you. You've been remarkably laize faire about keeping her safe as a minor. Which is extremely different from slut shaming or letting her have independance.
    Like the difference between not wanting to be a helicopter parent so you look the other way if your kid comes home smelling like weed once or twice and not wanting to stunt your kids personal growth so you look the other way after catching them with heroin.

    [–] Study found 47% of hospitals had linens contaminated with pathogenic fungus. Results suggest hospital linens are a source of hospital acquired infections PerceivedSlight 47 points ago in science

    I was in an ER two weeks ago with preliminary assessment cubes carved out of the waiting room space with curtains.
    One patient laid down on the examination bench while waiting for the doctor. He was acting really loopy. He rolled to the side of the bench, wraped the curtain all around his head and puked.
    They called it, the custodian came in with a bucket and mop, cleaned the floor and left. I was there for several more hours and the curtain remained.
    Im in Ontario.
    On the flip side I got an examination, a bag of saline, a blood draw, a ct scan of my abdomen, a diagnosis, a copy of my results for me and a copy sent to my GP, a perscription and a handful of antibiotics to get me started in 12 hours covered by my taxes. And then I paid $24 for my 7 days of antibiotics.

    [–] TIFU by leaving a dildo on the table and ruining my sons life PerceivedSlight 114 points ago in tifu

    I asked my adult toy dealer for a realistic sized one and I got one in the 99th percentile of penises I have seen.
    It was the best she could manage.
    The second part of your story had me actually laughing.

    [–] AITA for borrowing my roommate’s car to drive cross-country without telling him exactly where I went? PerceivedSlight 1 points ago in AmItheAsshole

    YTA the correct response to him freaking out was "Oh man I completely misunderstood and I am so sorry! Is there any way I can make it up to you? I didnt even think about the mileage and I'm embarassed that I took advantage of your generosity without a second thought."
    Then you just get the fact that you're a ditz out in the air and there's a chance for peaceful resolution.
    You're just going to poison your living arrangements unless you practice some humility.

    [–] Who was the dumbest person you ever met? How did you know? PerceivedSlight 1 points ago in AskReddit

    The original guitarist for the band Chicago died doing the exact same thing with a real gun.

    [–] JNMIL will not stop about involving us in her funeral preparations PerceivedSlight 6 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    I too have an enormous death binder for my parents. They talk as though they will go at exactly the same time or in short order.
    I just put it on a shelf and grey rock about it. They dont nag me about it but mom brings up stuff in it casually all the time. Or she'll pull out heirlooms that are listed in it and school me. "Oh ok" is your best friend.

    [–] I wanted to update everyone. I’m the girl who went NC with her family. My mother had a heart attack and she unfortunately passed away. PerceivedSlight 5 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    I told my therapist once that people kept asking me if I still loved my ex husband. I said it was difficult to answer and that people seem to have a binary definition of love.
    I said I didn't love him like a woman loves a husband anymore but I knew the man for 11 years. And when you know someone that well-- and then I paused and struggled to find the words. And she helpfully supplied "you love him enough to cry at his funeral".
    It was a rather macabre and yet entirely accurate point.
    If someone was a big part of your life, good or bad, you greive them. When someone let's you down so hard you need to remove them from your life to live you greive them even when they're still alive and then you greive them all over again when they die.
    It's not because of any guilt or regret, neccessarily. Those feelings just are. And they are very powerful, so much so that your brain doesnt even know what to do with them and it gets itself into a bit of a scramble trying to quantify and correlate.
    You are feeling the depth of your own humanity. Just feel it. And keep breathing. And I promise you it will pass all by itself like a cloudy day.

    [–] Colonel Waterworks and the bridal lingerie UPDATE PerceivedSlight 7 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    I've heard people suggest before that some moms feel like their son can only ever have one number 1 lady in their lives and it has to be them. They think they do best in almost every area- food, favours, fawning- but somehow the son seems to dote on his wife more. So what can be left? What could the wife be doing for the son that mom hasnt covered?
    Devil vagina magic.
    Thats why so many of these moms think the DIL is a deviant sex maniac. And that would be why this mom is trying to bond with DIL through her devil vagina.

    [–] Raven Queen and my boobs PerceivedSlight 1 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    From someone with big boobies who cant get a comfortable bra and often has back pain...tell me more about this corset solution...

    [–] UPDATE: MIL & FIL show up unannounced at our door... FROM TWO HOURS AWAY PerceivedSlight 8 points ago in JUSTNOMIL

    My perfectly healthy and young ex husband was like this in personality. He was just genuinely and sincerely unconcerned and uninterested so he didnt retain information about me.
    Or I would tell him about something that was concerning to me and he would decide it wasnt a real problem and therefore I dont need to be concerned and he'd dismiss it. Then forget I ever talked about it when I brought it back up.
    Some people are just super self focused.