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    Sumit316

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    [–] What legal thing would you ban if you could? Sumit316 5 points ago in AskReddit

    After [Insert random activity] selfie. or Before [Insert random activity] selfie.

    This trend needs to go.

    [–] What legal thing would you ban if you could? Sumit316 16 points ago in AskReddit

    China, Iran, and North Korea are countries which have it banned already.

    [–] Digital comic Sumit316 1 points ago in geek

    You can actually get it for free in the AppStore, right here: http://appstore.com/protanopia

    And here's a full vimeo version of this promo video: https://vimeo.com/236536962

    Here's the creator's website http://andrebergs.com/protanopia/

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 1161 points ago in AskReddit

    Arranged for ease in reading.

    3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp

    One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

    It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

    The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

    The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

    The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

    The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.

    First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

    Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

    Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

    The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

    First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.

    Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.

    Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

    The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

    Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

    First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."

    Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

    Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:

    "Guys, I think I fucked up."

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 34 points ago in AskReddit

    Explanation.

    He's got to hand his dick to the prostitute because she's blind and can't see it.

    This was made famous by Fred Willard - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ3ysjirUHI

    This reminds me of another joke.

    "In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective."

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 19 points ago in AskReddit

    If you don't like pedophiles then....Grow up.

    [–] Willem Dafoe: ‘I’ve thought about murder many times’ Sumit316 175 points ago in nottheonion

    He has some weird things associated with him. For instance He was expelled from high school for making a porno. Dafoe defended his expulsion in a conversation with the Mirror. Dafoe contended, "It wasn't really pornographic. It was just a film about oddballs, including nudists. I was just a young boy in Wisconsin – anything to get out of there.” It was one of those "art" films then (but it would still probably be sold in the back section of the video store, if video stores were still a thing).

    He also claims that he was raised by five horny sisters. He said and I quote “It was a sexual education, because my sisters were the horniest little girls. They would tell me stuff that, when I was small, I didn't want to hear. I remember one of my sisters talking about fellatio and cunnilingus when I was six years old. I said, ‘Only dirty people do that, right?’ She just laughed. When I told my friends what I knew about the birds and bees, they beat me up because they found it so disgusting.”

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 1128 points ago in AskReddit

    This joke reminds of this one.

    "Guess what"

    "What"

    "Good guess"

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 223 points ago in AskReddit

    I used to Kidnap, now I adultnap.

    [–] What's a joke so stupid that's it's funny? Sumit316 564 points ago in AskReddit

    I have seen these 3 quite often.

    • A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

    • Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

    • This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder...

    [–] ELI5: Why different alcoholic beverages illicit a different response Sumit316 1 points ago in explainlikeimfive

    I'm removing your question as it will yield many subjective answers. This topic cannot have a factual objective explanation.

    Please read the rules.

    [–] ELI5: What causes the actual sound associated with tinnitus? Sumit316 3 points ago in explainlikeimfive

    I'm removing your comment because it is not a written explanation.

    First direct comment should be an explanation.

    Please read the rules.

    [–] Creating a Spirograph "S" Sumit316 1 points ago in Damnthatsinteresting

    That is amazing mate. Nice work. Try posting in some subs, people will appreciate it.