Please help contribute to the Reddit categorization project here

    TheDirewolf35

    + friends - friends
    1,308 link karma
    3,322 comment karma
    send message redditor for

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in madlads

    Lol. My public bathroom wreckage has been entirely localized to North Dakota so far.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 2 points ago in madlads

    To be honest, that would never have crossed my mind. All I can think about in these situations is doing everything I can to not shit myself, not prepping for the aftermath.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 5 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago) in madlads

    So I'm not a TIFU reader, but just checked the rules there.

     4. Bodily discharge & sexual content posts will be removed unless it's the weekend. Overly vulgar posts will still be removed.
    
    
     8. Certain topics will always be removed (hover to see list). 8D. Posts dealing with shit/piss (including but not limited to: on yourself or others)
    

    Doesn't seem like they would be too welcome to it.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in madlads

    Lol, glad my awkward life has a bright side.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 7 points ago in madlads

    Correct, this was late 90's, I did not have a cell phone. I'm not sure my Mom had one even at this point, she may have still been rocking a pager. We could afford pants, I don't know why she made me come out in boxers really. I was not very happy about it. I think telling the cashier was so they knew they were going to need to send in a hazmat team or something lol. She was a nurse and helped my dad run a mortuary, not much grosses her out or embarasses her. She has her own stories similar to this now that make me feel a little better.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in madlads

    If you still have questions after reading this, let me know haha

    https://www.reddit.com/r/madlads/comments/9o83a6/what_a_madlad/e7shwgl/

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 3 points ago in madlads

    I'm not sure the tifu headline, TIFU by shopping at Kmart? TIFU by having explosive diarrhea occasionally?

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 2 points ago in madlads

    I wrote out the full story in response to someone else, but basically my brother came in to see wtf was taking so long and my mom bought a pair of boxers with a car print pattern and I had to come out in those. I don't even wear boxers normally haha.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in madlads

    I wrote out the full story in response to someone else, but basically my brother came in to see wtf was taking so long and my mom bought a pair of boxers with a car print pattern and I had to come out in those. I don't even wear boxers normally haha.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 6 points ago in madlads

    I know, I felt fucking terrible. I did it in a gas station once and had to walk by the register on my way out and the girl smiles and tells me to have a nice night. I embarrassingly just said "sorry" quietly and sped out.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 2 points ago in madlads

    I wrote out the full story in response to someone else, but basically my brother came in to see wtf was taking so long and my mom bought a pair of boxers with a car print pattern and I had to come out in those. I don't even wear boxers normally haha.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 5 points ago in madlads

    It was the 90's, a simpler time.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 3 points ago in madlads

    4 times in my life I've had it get this far. It's somewhat regular that I'm in a hurry on my way to the bathroom, it's just not really an emergency. I don't get a lot of lead up. When my body says I am going to have to go, I don't have as long to find a bathroom as most people.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 3 points ago in madlads

    LOL! This time I had that sliver of fortune, that and had people with me who could assist.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 2 points ago in madlads

    I wrote out the full story in response to someone else, but basically my brother came in to see wtf was taking so long and my mom bought a pair of boxers with a car print pattern and I had to come out in those. I don't even wear boxers normally haha.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 5 points ago in madlads

    It only goes this far once every couple of years. I have a close call every 6 months or so. I'm not sure if that is "regular" or not?

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 3 points ago in madlads

    Yep, that's how I ended up with shit all over the side of my Honda Civic.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in madlads

    Mistakes were made.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 4 points ago in madlads

    It hits the most important details.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 81 points ago in madlads

    The whole situation is just a level of stress that I don't think I've experienced in any other type of situation in my life.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 20 points ago in madlads

    Yep. :/

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 52 points ago in madlads

    Honestly I'm not sure. I have a few poop stories that are pretty close in embarrassment level for me. I also stopped a high school basketball game by not thinking and opening the retractable shade on the huge windows in the back of the gym so I could see my Gameboy screen better. It was crazy bright and the game literally stopped immediately and everyone in the gym just turns and looks right at me. I was too short to reach it to pull it back down. I don't know why I find that as embarrassing as the terrible things I have done to public bathrooms and the side of my Honda Civic, but that one still makes me cringe hard when I relive it instead of sleeping like I should be.

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 278 points ago in madlads

    I don't know if I have IBS or something like it because I've never seen a doctor or anything, but every now and then my stomach feels like it flips upside down and I'm going to shit whether I like it or not.

    One particular time I was in early high school, not sure how old, checking out video games in a Kmart. The electronics section was at one end of the store and the only bathrooms I'm aware of were at the complete opposite end in the Little Caesars at the entrance.

    So as I'm standing there looking at Dreamcast games or some shit (not sure on the year) my bowels shake and gurgle like crazy. The sweat starts running immediately. I have a bad feeling I'm fucked but clench my ass cheeks as tight as I can and start tearing ass with that straight legged squeeze waddle across the Kmart, leaving my confused younger brother behind.

    I successfully crossed the store and passed through the Little Caesars safely, choose the handicap stall (there were only two stalls), lock the door and attempt to drop pants and get my asscheeks planted on the seat on one smooth motion.

    I failed. The second I started bending over diarrhea exploded out of my asshole like a shotgun. Completely caked my pants & underwear, the toilet, as well as the wall behind it. Thank god no one else was in the bathroom. I waddled over to the other stall with my shit covered pants and underwear still around my ankles. Slipped my feet out safely and put the dirty clothes out of the way, cleaned up my ass a bit, then sat down and finished. Luckily I had blown most of my shit-wad in that first shot.

    So now I am sitting in the stall without any bottoms that are remotely clean, and my diarrhea is starting to run down the cracks of the tile into my stall. I am mortified. I don't know how many people came in, but I specifically remember one man going into my wrecked stall and literally gasping and saying "OH MY GOD." I recall another saying "Wow, someone is sick."

    I have no idea how long I sat in there before my brother came in and calls out "Direwolf, you in here?"

    "Yeah, I shit my pants. I can't come out because my pants and underwear are covered in crap."

    "Oh" he replies and that was it.

    Unfortunately the message wasn't quite received because he comes back in awhile later pissed off telling me to hurry up. I explain things again and have him check out the other stall. This time he understands. So I wait another bit, becoming further and further embarrassed by the men coming through and witnessing what I had done. Finally my brother comes back and slides a Kmart bag under the stall wall.

    I pull out nothing but a pair of boxers with cars from the like 1940's printed on them that hung maybe 3 inches past my balls. My brother was already gone. I walk out and I feel like everyone is staring at me. I ask my mom why no pants and she explains to me that "boxers are practically shorts, no one cares." I also find out that my mom explained the whole situation to the poor kid working the register as she bought the boxers, so when I felt like everyone was staring at me they probably were.

    Fun times...

    [–] What a madlad TheDirewolf35 576 points ago * (lasted edited 6 days ago) in madlads

    Having to walk out of a Kmart in just some boxers because I destroyed the bathroom & my pants with diarrhea is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

    :edit: Linking to where I wrote out the story to answer all the "how did the boxers remain clean" questions https://www.reddit.com/r/madlads/comments/9o83a6/what_a_madlad/e7shwgl/

    [–] Even though the Xbox is lagging behind in the exclusive department they are doing great things with Game Pass, Xbox Live, their phone app, Design Lab and many other accoutrements. IMO they don’t get enough credit for everything they do. In your opinion, besides games, what more could they do? TheDirewolf35 1 points ago in xboxone

    I'm literally not saying that at all. I'm saying that single player games are selling great on PS4 and there is no reason to assume that they wouldn't also sell great on Xbox. RELATIVE sales have nothing to do with the size of the userbase. Sony's exclusives are performing better both critically and sales. Microsoft has 1 exclusive in it's top 15 best reviewed games, Sony has 6. Single player games aren't selling on Xbox because Xbox doesn't have good single player games. It's that simple.