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    Thinnestspoon

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    [–] Theresa May Accused of ‘Pathetic Cowardice’ as She Delays Vote on Her Brexit Deal Thinnestspoon 3 points ago in worldnews

    ...and BTW the tick box is kind of only really visible in certain lights, so next time anyone is buying one of our submarines, just move the paper around a bit and you'll see it.

    [–] Dating an addict Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in Drugs

    My suggestion only works if he is already fully aware that he needs to cut back and can't be using every day. If he's not at that point, you are right, he'll just see it as a green light.

    Seeing as all of this seems to be connected to his mental health, he really needs to get that sorted before there is any hope of him trying not to self medicate. I feel like a hypocrite for saying this, as it's exactly what I am doing to stop my anxiety and depression.

    The fact he's doing dope and benzos in big enough quantities to do outrageous things means there is added risk to all this. I went to see a couple of psychiatrists a little while back as part of a referral (one was in the room because she was an addiction specialist) and the big red flag for them was me mixing benzos and opiates. They basically said none of my usage was safe by any means, but mixing those two together was seriously dangerous.

    I'd be getting professional help if you can make that happen somehow. Don't know where you live, but is there any chance you can both go to a doctors appointment for him together and discuss options? I am in the UK where the easy-going laws and free healthcare make this possible. As stupid as it sounds sometimes I just find the sensation of being sober absolutely horrifying and if he is the same way, then unless there is something else to fill the void/fix the problem, then this will be ongoing.

    Feel free to PM for as much advice as you need.

    [–] Dating an addict Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in Drugs

    You are exactly right. It's all well and good caring for someone else, but there will come a point when you start sacrificing all of your happiness for someone else. You can't do that.

    I would definitely be concerned about him being secretive. Keep a close eye on this. To me, that's a line I never crossed and never will. I can imagine once that line is crossed, just like using, it becomes easier and easier to justify it until it become totally normal. Weirdly enough I actually tell my GF before she's even asked if I have taken something, because I feel like even my silence on the subject is dishonest.

    Ultimately, he probably won't take your promise to kick him out seriously, even when he's actually walking out the door. I think drug users are (for better or worse) sometimes quite good at thinking everything will just work out ok and they don't need to worry. I hope it doesn't get to that point, but if it does you have to stand your ground.

    One thing I am definitely guilty of is playing things down and the reason is because drug-taking to me now is as normal as eating or drinking. It's not even like something special I do or a treat, it's just interwoven in every part of me. When your SO plays stuff down, it's probably because he himself doesn't see it as as much or a problem as you do. That is different from him playing it down because he wants to manipulate you deliberately into allowing it. When that starts it's real bad news.

    Also don't buy into the idea that it's half your problem. It isn't. It is his problem that you are helping with. If it was me, and don't take this as expert advice (just a suggested framework), I'd agree something like the following with him:

    Suggest that for say one month he has to keep a spreadsheet of what he's using and doses. The intent is not to cut it all out, but to get a picture of what usage patterns are like. Rules would be:

    1. If he's uses, it gets written down
    2. If you ask him and he has used, he has to be honest
    3. You won't come down hard on him if his day was tough and it all got to much so he used. No guilt.
    4. Using is not a fuck up for these four weeks. Lying absolutely is.

    After those four weeks, assuming he kept to his end of it, you'll both be in a better place to look and see what's going on. For me Fridays and Saturdays are the most difficult times for me.

    He has to be accountable to himself and to you. Again, all of this is not based on anything other than my own experience and you'll get different answers from every recovering addict you speak to. Just like anything, you have to know when you need to quit this.

    Lastly, I'll say that therapy and doctors never did much for me as there always seemed a huge disconnect. Speaking to people who have actually been there really helped me through some dark times. Sorry for the huge wall of text, I hope some of it helps you both.

    [–] Dating an addict Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in Drugs

    You're welcome. Good luck to both of you. :)

    [–] Dating an addict Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in Drugs

    My GF and I are in kind of a similar situation. She is super-supportive and there is never any judgment from her, but my part is that I am totally honest. I'm like that anyway. If I have taken something I tell her (and anyone in my family who asks), and I write it all down. I fill out my drug diary every day and occasionally I mention to her when I am having a tough time or think I am taking something too often. Also I have a column next to it where if there was important reason why I used then I can make a note so I can start to see patterns. It's so easy to underestimate usage if you are not tracking it. I have accepted that "I'll never use again" is just too much to promise, as I use mainly when self-medicating, but daily usage of hard drugs is something I'll never go back to.

    Having said all this, I am not physically addicted to any one thing at the moment (have been before), and I have never reached the point a lot of addicts get to in terms of lying, stealing, losing job and so on, mainly because everything was almost free on prescription.

    I'd say his recovery and your mental well-being will remain ongoing and intact only if he is completely honest with you about his usage, and you are reasonably non-judgemental. I don't mean you can't tell him when you're pissed off, or what you are thinking. If you find out he's keeping things from you, like saying he didn't use when he did, then that is real bad sign. Also, if he starts to brush off your concerns with things like "It's up to me what I do", then you have problems ahead of you. His recovery is going to be 80% his hard work and 20% your support, if it seems like you are doing all the work, then he is not playing his part and you've got to ask yourself if it's even worth sticking around for.

    EDIT: Forgot to mention, depending on his drug of choice, there are subs like r/OpiatesRecovery that are fantastic and helped me a lot.

    [–] How long does it take to learn how to use InDesign? Thinnestspoon 1 points ago in indesign

    I used it all day every day for around 8 or so years (Quark before that) and I'd say it's reasonably quick (within a year) if you want to be ok at using it and get by, but it took me many more years before I felt I knew it inside out. It really helped working as part of a team and I had an excellent mentor so I was lucky there. You get to share tips and tricks with workflow and if you work in a place that actually prints as well, it means you get to see the link between what you designed and what is being sent out.

    Having said all that, there are always improvements to be made in workflow and learning new ways to use old features. I still find new things that I had no idea about. To become what I would say is really advanced is definitely several years of using it constantly.

    [–] Adults of reddit who were depressed kids or teens, what is it like to be here when you didn't expect to make it this far? What would you tell your younger self if you could? Thinnestspoon 1 points ago in AskReddit

    When I decided to give up smoking it was probably a few days of being uncomfortable and then I was more or less ok. Cravings lasted a while but weren't that bad compared to other drugs.

    When I withdrew off opiates earlier this year it took me 40 days of being so wrecked I couldn't work, and taking every vitamin, benzo, sleeping tablet I could get my hands on just to knock myself out.

    I understand people that find nicotine cravings unbearable, which is a significant part of the battle, but for me at least, it doesn't come close to opiate WDs.

    Everyone's different, I guess.

    [–] What real life purchases feel like micro-transactions? Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Exactly. I use Adobe stuff most of the day. £50 a month is a bargain to have every program up to date all the time.

    [–] What real life purchases feel like micro-transactions? Thinnestspoon 1 points ago in AskReddit

    The only subscription I'm fine with is Adobe. I use it a lot of every day so £50 a month for everything and staying up to date is perfect for me.

    What I fucking hate is apps that make you subscribe for no reason. Download our app to track how much water you drink! For £5...per month. Fuck no. Everyone's getting in on it now even for products that don't require a subscription model in the slightest.

    [–] People who’ve been blocked on Twitter by a famous person, what got you blocked ? Thinnestspoon 12 points ago in AskReddit

    My GF is a lawyer here so I've had several conversations about this. In the UK it is the law that if you are being financially sponsored or receiving free stuff in return for promotion, you must state that when you promote or review something and it can't be buried somewhere like in your 'about me' page, it has to be out front and visible.

    [–] How come nobody talks about the negative side effects of cannabis? Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in AskReddit

    I'm the opposite. I was heavily into illegal stuff for many years before I started getting into prescriptions. Realised they were pure, doses were consistent from packet to packet, and I could carry them/take them anywhere without being arrested, or even looked at weirdly. Never knew what physical addiction was before being prescribed opiates.

    [–] What is your NSFW secret you are NOT proud of? Thinnestspoon 50 points ago in AskReddit

    I have heard of people holding a small ball in their hand and they drop it if they wanna stop the game. If you're being choked you can't always say the safe word.

    [–] [HIRING] Promoter for my Chaturbate Whitelabel Website Thinnestspoon 7 points ago in forhire

    $.25 a post!!? Someone would need to post and track a thousand of these just to get $250 a day. No chance.

    [–] "Jimi Hendrix", watercolor, A3 -30x42cm Thinnestspoon 2 points ago in Art

    10 out of 10 for concept. Much less for execution.

    [–] Why don’t you do the things you know you should be doing? Thinnestspoon 3 points ago in AskReddit

    I glanced at your post while I was doing something else, but I had to come back to my computer a write you a proper reply.

    I know what it's like to just want to fucking end it because nothing seems to be turning out right. Here's what I think you should do.

    Say you have been freelancing as a designer/writer or similar (just don't apply for design jobs or any job that's likely to ask you to do any design work!). Reason I say this is because I am one, and absolutely no one has ever asked me who my clients were when I was applying for stuff. They just see a big chunk of time on your CV and see freelancing and that's it. All you need is a couple of people to put down as references, and to be honest, if you're applying for jobs like Walmart, they don't have time to do a huge in-depth check into what you've actually been doing. Get a couple of family members or friends or anyone you can to say you've done work for them. I think your are at the point now where you need to do anything humanly possible to get yourself onto the career ladder and if it means doing something shady to start with, well so be it. One thing I'd never advocate is lying about having experience in the role you're about to go into. You'll be found out before your first lunch break.

    Freelancing in design, or writing, or anything like that is so all over the place that no one will ever really be able to fully keep track on what you've been doing. You may have worked an hour for this person, two weeks for this person, 3 days for this person.

    I don't usually advocate out-and-out lying on a CV by any means, but if you are at the point of contemplating suicide, then I'd tell you to say you've been at fucking med school before telling you to give up on yourself.