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    YourRealMom

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    [–] Megathread: Attorney General Releases Redacted Version of Special Counsel Report YourRealMom 2 points ago in politics

    Hence the investigation, which was a success even if only identified 10% of the people involved. If it had instead been an unmitigated flop and found nothing at all, interference would still be a crime.

    [–] Megathread: Attorney General Releases Redacted Version of Special Counsel Report YourRealMom 1 points ago in politics

    Ok but here's the thing, report entirely aside he's done a lot: his terrible trade choices, his emboldening of dictators, alienation of allies, deplorable treatment of asylum seekers, poisonous spews on Twitter which reek of stochastic terrorism... All of that's out in the open and it's more than 'something'

    [–] We Already Spend More Than Medicare for All Would Cost Us YourRealMom 1 points ago in politics

    No, but I think "wrong leg cut off" is a bit over the top as an example. I see no reason that funds to compensate such cases can't be set aside in a sane manner to the benefit of everyone but the malpractice insurance industry. The rest of Western Civilization manages not to cut everyone's legs off just fine.

    [–] We Already Spend More Than Medicare for All Would Cost Us YourRealMom 3 points ago in politics

    It's a thought experiment. But hey, let's assume you need to replace it anyway (which happens, heating systems don't last forever) and you could either lay out 8K now to keep the same type of system or 10K to get a more efficient system. Now you're actually laying out 2K for a savings of 12K over the next 10 years. Now your next replacement system has been paid for, plus the original 2K.

    [–] We Already Spend More Than Medicare for All Would Cost Us YourRealMom 0 points ago in politics

    Reminds me of antivax talking points.

    "This one in a million horror story will 100% happen to YOUR BABY (btw ignore all the common, but no less devestating tragedies that we're happily promulgating)"

    [–] Poll: Younger voters want universal basic income while older ones reject it overwhelmingly YourRealMom 1 points ago in politics

    You're looking at it wrong. I'm not gonna sign on to scrub toilets 60 hours a week just to net enough for basic necessities, but I'd do 20 if that's all I needed to be able to put the rest of my energy into getting started in something I cared about.

    [–] *Me and Victoria* YourRealMom 116 points ago in funny

    It's not MY private jet/Lamborghini/mansion/etc, it belongs to the church.

    [–] The Right Has Mainstreamed the Rhetoric of Mass Killers YourRealMom 1 points ago in politics

    I read a few more comments after replying, and I admit that you probably we're not trying to say what I heard and my reply was a bit over the top as a result.

    My point though is that this attack was clearly carried out for political ends. Don't accuse the left of politicizing violence when it's overwhelmingly the right which is producing the folks who are encouraging and carrying out political violence.

    [–] The Right Has Mainstreamed the Rhetoric of Mass Killers YourRealMom 1 points ago in politics

    Maybe white supremacists should stop, you know... CREATING the victims of terrorist attacks, then us dirty leftists will have no CHOICE but to stop using them to promote our wicked agenda of not letting white supremacists kill them.

    [–] Question: If I live in a certain hardiness zone, would I be able to grow carnivorous plants that can grow in that zone outside of a terrarium/tank, as long as I keep the soil however it's supposed to be for the plants? YourRealMom 2 points ago in SavageGarden

    yeah, many species do best outdoors in a fairly wide range of climates, provided adequate watering.

    In zone six, it's likely that venus flytraps, american pitcher plants, and many winter hardy sundews will thrive outdoors. growing in pots you may need to provide some cover from cold dry air during especially cold periods. I've done elaborate mulching set ups in the past but at this point I usually just put a tarp over my collection for the worst bits of wintery dry air.

    [–] I’ve [20f] been going through my boyfriend’s [22m] browser history for a month.. YourRealMom 3 points ago in relationships

    I don't think so. There's a difference between your partner performing a lower level due diligence in their porn consumption vs actively seeking out material that you find morally objectionable. One is an, "I wish they would be more careful" and the other is, "this person is making deliberate choices that I find morally repugnant"

    [–] Me (16F) Skipped a math test because of anxiety and now mom (52 F) is threatening to put me in a group home YourRealMom 3 points ago in relationships

    Honestly, it sounds like your mom needs some help learning healthy coping skills as much as you do.

    It might help you to remember that your mom is probably struggling with issues very similar to your own, except when you have a child there's really no skipping the test and bringing your scores up later.

    That doesn't excuse your parents for yelling, breaking things, or invading your privacy. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to seeking help with working through emotional issues so I wouldn't count on either of them being willing to speak with a therapist or councillor themselves. They may even be feeling defensive over the perception of having 'raised you wrong', contributing to their unwillingness to accept your diagnosis.

    Luckily, you are seeking help. That means you have a chance to break this cycle. When you're having a hard time with your parents remember that you are, to an extent, mirrors of one another. Unlearning some of the unhealthy behaviors you've learned being raised by them is one of the goals of your therapy.

    [–] 3rd time in less than 3 weeks my VFT has put out a flower stalk. Can anything be done to stop this behavior? YourRealMom 2 points ago in SavageGarden

    I see you mentioned the photoperiod was around 8 hours, which is pretty low. it's probably interpreting the low light period as early spring, which is stimulating flowering. try letting one of the flower stalks mature, and gradually increasing the photoperiod to 10, 12, then 14 hours. Once it reads as 'summer' to the plant it should stop trying to flower.

    If you plan to move it outside, try to time it so that you move it out when the outdoor photoperiod is a bit longer than what you have your lights set to, to avoid confusing signals

    [–] "How do you stay moral when you're an atheist?" YourRealMom 5 points ago in atheism

    well, I don't think I would want to. Social cost aside (and I assume that includes cascading retaliation?) there's still the issue of my own mental and emotional well-being, which I don't think would be particularly well served by going on a revenge-murder spree. but, obviously, if I DID want to, I would. that's how it works. given the choices that people see as available to them, they make the choice they want to make. Maybe we're not always completely conscious that that's what we're doing, but it is.

    For the second part, if it was at 'great cost' to myself I wouldn't do it, obviously. but once again, my emotional and mental well-being needs to be factored into that cost. Something that seems costly from an outside perspective might be an amazing investment in my self-esteem and general outlook on life from my own perspective.

    [–] "How do you stay moral when you're an atheist?" YourRealMom 19 points ago in atheism

    we're social creatures, there doesn't need to be a 'law' against murder for us to gauge and respond to the general zeitgeist of our social group. Sure, some people would take personal revenge (and some do, even with laws in place) but many others would turn to their social group for justice as well as comfort (as many do, in our society of laws)

    laws aren't some tacked-on artificial system, they're a natural outgrowth of the way we, as social animals, monitor and respond to interpersonal issues in our social groups.

    I don't think I would want to seek 'revenge' in the type of situation you mention. It wouldn't make anything right, and it can lead to a cascade of retaliation. I would, however, want the offender to be known and shunned socially.

    [–] Boyfriend [25M] of 2 years uses "gay" as a catch-all joke/insult and I [24F] don't like it. I told him once and he didn't stop. What now? YourRealMom 2 points ago in relationships

    Start using gay as a catch-all compliment,

    "Thanks for taking my car to get the oil changed, Hun. It was so gay of you!"

    "That was the gayest burger I've had in so long, we need to eat here more often!"

    But seriously, he needs to understand that the fact that he finds 'gay' behavior to be something worth reacting to with commentary EVERY TIME is worth unpacking, even if he doesn't consciously find the behavior 'objectionable'

    It's like pointing, pointing is rude.

    [–] Me [M28] w/ SO [F30] I'm super hurting right now, heart is broken - can anyone offer some wisdom to help get over this pain? YourRealMom 1 points ago in relationships

    Something to keep in mind is that everything you're working through is only a story that you're telling yourself. It's near impossible to really know yourself, let alone other people. It's important to be able to distance yourself from the stories you tell about your own experience, as well as those you tell about other people.

    Recognise that the present is not defined by your own thoughts, something is happening now that is not part of your story. Recognise that the future only exists in fiction. Once you can accept that, you can change the story. The story in which you and this woman had a perfect life together was comforting and exciting once, but it isn't any longer. Change it. Look at the infinite possible stories that could have played out, and tell yourself a different one. You might have ended up as good platonic friends, or you might have grown bitter with one another, you might have broken her heart, or you might have parted ways and both been better for it. Crucially, ANY of those stories might be the start of your best life, because the future is fiction.