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    ZappedMinionHorde

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    [–] The Guardian Response ZappedMinionHorde 15 points ago in HFY

    Can anybody help me get the green feet reference? I'm assuming it's a US armed forces related?

    [–] Drinking water fountains are the way ahead. Safe drinking water for schools, hospitals, airports and corporate. ZappedMinionHorde 1 points ago in u_WAE_Corp

    I'm not really sure what compelled Andy to do it. He could've tunneled his way to freedom and never looked back, but I guess he thought this was more important. Since the day he came to Shawshank, Andy had a way of surprising us. I never would've expected this, though. They say I'm a man who can get things, but I guess there was one thing I couldn't get for Andy. And that thing was the warden sticking his finger in his ass.

    [–] You what?! ZappedMinionHorde 150 points ago in madlads

    Not reading the name of the subreddit properly

    What an absolute madlad

    [–] Nominate a candidate for the 2019 Holberg Prize, for outstanding contributions to the humanities, social sciences, law or theology. ZappedMinionHorde 6 points ago in u_Holberg_Prize

    Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

    Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.

    If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

    [–] Mad respect ZappedMinionHorde 1 points ago in funny

    Then that same step could be done without having four extra rolls in the first place.

    I don't know though, I am not a toilet-paper roll engineer or something.

    [–] Mad respect ZappedMinionHorde 6 points ago in funny

    And what happens when all five are empty?

    [–] Eat Pr(A.I.) Love ZappedMinionHorde 8 points ago in HFY

    Wow. This is a pretty interesting concept.

    This makes me think, if AI were to be become sentient, what extensions to the law would be needed for Human-AI marriages.

    Because somebody is definitely going to want their own skynet-waifu. :)

    [–] Lorraine ZappedMinionHorde 1 points ago in Jokes

    Nice. This belongs in r/feghoot

    [–] Is things that simple baburao? ZappedMinionHorde 2 points ago in indianpeoplequora

    Bhai idk where you live, but 12LPA is top one-percent level of income for India.

    [–] Sapio in Space ZappedMinionHorde 2 points ago in indianpeoplequora

    Arey bc, mirror naam ki chiz nahi sunni thi kya iss bande ne?

    [–] An emu scouting out a base ZappedMinionHorde 13 points ago in Emuwarflashbacks

    Hard times create strong emus,

    Strong emus create good times,

    Good times create weak emus,

    Weak emus create hard times.

    [–] The hitman (2) ZappedMinionHorde 1 points ago in HFY

    Nice job. Less action than the previous part, but interesting world building here.

    I feel we need more grimdark stories in this sub where the hero is not a goody-two-shoes.

    :)

    [–] [OC] Unbroken 03 ZappedMinionHorde 2 points ago in HFY

    Haha. Nice to hear. Carry on the good work.

    [–] The Battle over Demeter ZappedMinionHorde 6 points ago in HFY

    Pretty nice. I like these types of stories where the humans aren't overpowered or much different from the xenos. Just plain bravery that isn't exclusive to humans. What really makes this story for me is the fact that a similar story could be made for an admiral (or similar level) on the xeno fleet and it would still have the same level of emotional impact.

    [–] [OC] Unbroken 03 ZappedMinionHorde 2 points ago in HFY

    This story is shaping up pretty good. Would love to read more. :)

    [–] [OC] From the Ashes (2) ZappedMinionHorde 9 points ago in HFY

    Pretty nice. Feels like a more peaceful adaptation of Chrysalis.