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    [–] Meet my neighbors Cats. My neighbor is vegan and she doesn’t feed them meat.So i sneak some salami for them once in a while. BTW, they are a family, a mother, daughter, and granddaughter Zebroomafoo 1 points ago in aww

    Thank you for advocating for the kitties and agreeing to try to communicate with her family before calling animal control. But, bottom line, if they don't change how they feed the cats, you NEED to call animal control. I have been vegan for periods of time and would never dream of forcing that on a cat. As another commenter said, they're obligate carnivores and need to eat meat to get necessary nutrients. I know you already know this, I'm just fired up seeing this and am so glad you already know what you have to do πŸ’œ thank you

    [–] 'Dozens more graves' found at US school site Zebroomafoo 2 points ago in news

    No kidding. In the article, they interview a former 'student' who said lots of the other kids were orphans or runaways who didn't do anything wrong. Nothing to reform for them, just a painful death sentence for innocent kids.

    [–] WTF Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in WTF

    Same! Bad-upbringing buddies!

    [–] I'm a fraud Zebroomafoo 1 points ago in depression

    I know I'm three weeks late to the party, but wow, man.

    "I'm gonna end it but not now." Same. I don't have kids to live for, but I want to tie up a loose end or two before I go.

    If a freak accident or illness doesn't get me first, I'm planning on suicide by age 60 if not much earlier. I don't know how exactly I'll do it, but I want to have some control over my death. I don't want to wither and lose independence. I want to go out while I can still do it myself, so I'm not trapped in my body even more than I already am with nothing to do about it

    [–] What is your β€œIt will be fine.” Narrator: β€œIt was not fine.” moment? Zebroomafoo 2 points ago in AskReddit

    It sounds like a pretty good place to have an outburst, for what it's worth. Your coworkers sound lovely and supportive. I hope that you are doing alright, I'm very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself <3

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo 1 points ago in VictoriaBC

    I'm sorry I think (I hope) I misread the tone of your comment and I came in too hot on my first reply, which I deleted because it doesn't apply once I correctly read your response.

    I hope you don't encounter any assholes near crosswalks anytime soon!

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo 5 points ago in VictoriaBC

    That's fair! It's not something that has ever stressed me out as a pedestrian, but I will be more aware of this for others! Thanks!

    [–] Where can I purchase Cannabis seeds in Victoria? Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in VictoriaBC

    I got some at trees on North Park, not sure about their other locations. 5 seeds for $10

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in VictoriaBC

    Woof, that hillside and Douglas intersection is so bad for red light runners. My commute used to include making a left onto Finlayson from Blanshard, I started taking a longer route because I hated how many people just run the red lights, especially on left turn signals! It sucks when you've got a green light and two more cars decide they just really need to make that left turn across your lane. Now everyone behind me is mad because the lights green but the lane isn't moving, and then they sneak through their next light because they're impatient from having to wait. Vicious cycle.

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in VictoriaBC

    Or stop signs. I've seen too many cyclists not stop or look at all before making a right turn. Even if there is a bike lane, it gives me a pretty good scare when a cyclist turns onto the roadway without visually checking or slowing down at all. What if you hit a weird rock while taking that turn too quickly and then you're under my tires!!

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo -2 points ago in VictoriaBC

    Pedestrian awareness please!! I am so used to people standing around crosswalks with no intention of crossing, that unless it is clear by body language or eye contact that your intention is to cross the road, I don't brake to slow down. I'd say 95% of the time, this works. But every once in a while I get someone who is idly standing by a crosswalk, and I'll let off the gas in case they decide to change their body language or make eye contact, but then they don't look until it's too late for me to stop and then they're pissed at me for not stopping! One night it was a guy in all black. Dude, I saw you standing there, you were doing nothing to indicate you wanted to cross until you were waving your hands at me!! Argh.

    As a pedestrian, I find that eye contact is key. While I have definitely had to step onto the road in order for vehicles to stop, I find it to be pretty rare and I think it's usually more of a tunnel vision effect than blatant disrespect for crosswalks. I experience it sometimes when driving - lower Johnson st can be a good example. It's so busy down there, between watching for parking or trying to change lanes or whatever other distracting factors exist, unless there's a group of people waiting or you're wearing something super bright, it's easy for you to not really register to the driver. Especially if it's dark and you're wearing dark clothes and standing behind any street light/trash can/sign post. Of course, there are giant pedestrian signs and the drivers should be checking for pedestrians instead of for parking, but drivers are human and humans are flawed.

    [–] Crosswalks and impatient drivers Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in VictoriaBC

    I slow right down when there's a stroller in the crosswalk well in advance, so the parent or caregiver can (hopefully) tell from a distance that I am slowing for them. Buuut then I usually slowly roll forward (from a HEALTHY distance) and find most people cross in time that I'm not close enough to the crosswalk to have to actually stop. For clarification, the nose of my vehicle is nowhere near the painted lines and I'll stop almost a cars length back for kids and dogs, so I can see the lines too. No more inching forward at this distance.

    Now, after all that explaining, my question is, do cars inching forward from any distance make you uncomfortable? I am always trying to be considerate with young ones and road safety, but hadn't considered that I could be making parents uncomfortable by not coming to a complete stop if it's not necessary. I watch for eye contact and haven't picked up on any obvious looks, and am now concerned that I've been stressing out parents! Also I am half asleep and very introspective right now, I hope you don't mind that I wrote this much about crosswalk safety and young kids, and I look forward to hearing your perspective!

    [–] i have misophonia AMA Zebroomafoo 1 points ago in AMA

    It's a podcast! Hosted by Dax Shepard. A number of recent guests also have misophonia and they talk about it briefly in a few episodes. Sarah Silverman also has it!

    [–] I have an Ed and gave birth 6 weeks ago. AMA. Zebroomafoo 2 points ago in AMA

    How long have you struggled with anorexia? Did your doctor know/help you manage? Congratulations mama, I hope you and the babe are both doing well and staying healthy πŸ’œ

    [–] i have misophonia AMA Zebroomafoo 1 points ago in AMA

    Have you been listening to Armchair Expert?

    [–] People with mental illnesses, when did you finally admit to yourself that something was wrong? Zebroomafoo 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago) in AskReddit

    I completely understand. It's so hard to talk yourself into doing the things we know might help. I recently didn't eat for almost 2 days because it was just too much work.

    On temporary solutions - life is a maze of temporary solutions, in my mind. Things may change situationally, and you may feel better for a time, but if you are like me, the dread and darkness always come back. I have hope that it may not always be this way, but I've accepted it for now. My work-around for your first question would probably be to make a small plan: go for a walk, and then do a rewarding activity once home, like eat my fave food and watch movies. Get everything set up for the movie before you leave, so that even if your walk is shitty and someone is an asshole, you've got a nice cozy movie to watch when you get home. Temporary solutions are okay, and are how most people get by. Happiness isn't an all-the-time thing, unfortunately. Sometimes we have to sort of trick ourselves into it - especially when coming out of a funk. It's not about perfection, it's about doing what you can. And of course, all my examples and advice are what works for me. If they don't work for you, that is 100% cool, everyone is different. Even day to day, what I'm able to manage varies.

    On meeting other people - sometimes you won't meet anyone interesting, but I will say that some of my absolute best and most inspiring conversations have been with perfect strangers at a bar, on a bench, looking for toothpaste, etc. I'm not kidding, it doesn't only happen in movies. Sometimes someone will just see you and know what to say. As you get more comfortable, you can try making small talk first. Sometimes people are weird, and that's okay. I worked as a server for years, and I'm telling you, everyone has awkward moments. Everyone missteps in conversation. It's okay, you can acknowledge it or not and just move on. Also, most people who are out and on their own, with no visible fuck-off-face, are more open to chatting than you might think. But you don't need to dive into talking to strangers if you don't want to. I find just by genuinely being engaged in my interaction at the grocery store (yes sometimes I wait in line to talk to a human instead of self check out), even just a few sentences back and forth can change the channel my brain is stuck on.

    Sorry for the novel, I hope this helps! Feel free to keep firing the questions. I don't always follow my own advice, but typing it out to help others reminds me that I should!

    Edit - I'm also realizing you're not just talking about strangers. I struggle to reach out to friends, too. Sometimes I feel burdensome, sometimes it feels like too much to tell them what's going on, but i don't want to put on a fake face. Focus on the people who you can be honest with and who don't distance themselves. I just learned the term "emotional bandwidth" - some people have small emotional bandwidths, and aren't able to help and support. That's okay, and it's so shitty when you realize you can't count on some people the way you'd like to. But it's no fault of yours or theirs. You can still be friends, but you need to find the people who will understand and support you when you're low. Lean on them when you can and when you need to. Of course, building a support system is easier said than done. I am also struggling with this. The friendly corners of reddit have been nice places to hang out, there are many subreddits for various mental health related issues. I know there's a crisis text-line near me, I haven't used it yet but it seems like something that could be pretty helpful. Check what supports are available in your area. If there are any workshops/groups/clubs that interest you, at least think about joining. You might meet some awesome people, or maybe you bail after going once. Either is okay and helps you learn. πŸ’œ

    [–] [ELI5] what causes your stomach to "drop" when you get scared or nervous? Zebroomafoo 17 points ago in explainlikeimfive

    That's so great to hear. I had to interact with some police last year who were so kind and understanding. They clearly were trained for domestic and mental health issues, and genuinely wanted to help. It's incredible how they were able to diffuse and meet me at my level, instead of feeling overly authoritative. I didn't catch their names but I did email the police chief and expressed thanks to the officers involved. I got a very nice response, ensuring me they would pass along my message, and they were grateful to receive positive feedback. Even if you don't know who helped, they might be able to trace by dates, or they might just pass on the positive feedback across their EMTs. They might realize who they are, and at the very least they'll have a positive boost and know their job makes a difference.

    [–] [ELI5] what causes your stomach to "drop" when you get scared or nervous? Zebroomafoo 2 points ago in explainlikeimfive

    You are not a sorry existence. I called an ambulance for a friend who was having a panic attack and I couldn't calm him down. He was fine and felt silly after he came out of it, but when you're in it (especially the first ones), you need the help you need and there's nothing wrong or bad about that.

    [–] People with mental illnesses, when did you finally admit to yourself that something was wrong? Zebroomafoo 3 points ago in AskReddit

    I feel everything you're saying. I was laid off a couple of months ago and have been having a hard time getting back to work between the weather (outdoor work) and the anxiety.

    My advice is to try to get out of the house. It's so easy to stay stuck in a hopeless daze, but it doesn't seem like a daze when you're in it. It feels like reality sinking in, but reality can be more beautiful (and less crushing) than that. Even a 5 minute walk up the street or to a store or coffee shop. Pick 3 things that you like. Could be a tree, a dog, an individual, street art, the colour of the sky, any nice scents, etc. Try to really enjoy each thing for a few moments. I always finds this lifts my mood and makes everything on my plate seem a lot more manageable. Another bonus of going out, especially to shops - sometimes a little bit of small talk with a stranger can be a refreshing change of pace. Sometimes your cashier is grumpy and doesn't want to be at work, which is fair because everyone has bad days and we can relate to that. Sometimes they're cheery and genuinely tell you to have a good day, which can be so warming.

    Also, message anytime. I know sometimes I prefer anonymity or a fresh perspective. Take care, I hope things get easier for you soon.