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    [–] Is it possible to find/create a needle meant for vinyl records to be inserted into a phonograph to play said vinyl records? artd_echo 1 points ago in WeAreTheMusicMakers

    Thank you for your reply. Again, hypothetically speaking as I don't want to destroy either the phonograph or any records, but from a mechanics perspective, it sounds like it could be possible to make a lighter tone arm, right? I.e. the technology is possible to make a hand crank phonograph to play vinyl records, but it just hasn't been developed due to supply/demand?

    [–] ELI5: how exactly do you “lose your voice”? Do your vocal cords wear out or something? artd_echo 1 points ago in explainlikeimfive

    This video gives a visual on normal vocal cord/vocal fold function. From here, there are a few things that can lead to abnormal vocal qualities.

    • Inflammation of the vocal cords. This can affect vibration, which can produce vocal changes. Examples of this include:
      • Overuse and abuse: speaking too much, speaking too loudly, singing in damaging ways, etc.
      • Irritation: exposure to irritating substances, such as cigarette smoke, excessive alcohol intake, stomach acid/reflux/GERD, workplace chemicals, etc.
      • Respiratory infection: such as a cold, bronchitis, sinusitis, etc.
    • Structural changes or abnormalities of the vocal folds/vocal cords over time. Examples of this include:
      • Vocal cord nodules or polyps: like another commenter noted, think of a nodule as a callous and a polyp as a blister that forms on either or both of the vocal cords over time.
      • Aging voice ("presbyphonia"): bowing or the vocal cords; atrophy of the vocal cords due to age.
    • Vocal cord paralysis/paresis
      • Paralysis can be caused by:
        • Non-cancerous/cancerous tumors
        • Head and neck injuries, including injuries during surgery such as thyroid surgery, spinal surgery, tumor removal, or even insertion of a breathing tube into the trachea ("windpipe")
        • Damage to the central nervous system (CNS), which can affect movement to the laryngeal muscles. Cranial nerve X (CN X) and to some extent cranial nerve IX (CN IX) control the muscles of the larynx ("voice box"). The recurrent laryngeal nerves (RLN) and the superior laryngeal nerve (SLN) are branches of the vagus nerve (CN X), which innervate the muscles to allow the vocal cords to open, close, and adjust the tension of the vocal cords. Any damage or disorder that directly or indirectly involves these nerves from functioning properly can lead to an abnormal vocal quality. This can include, but is not limited to:
        • -Viral infection of the nerves
        • -Neurotoxins
        • -Stroke
        • -Diseases (Lyme disease, demyelinating diseases such as multiple sclerosis, diseases that affect the nerves and muscles such as myasthenia gravis, Parkinson's Disease, etc.)
        • -Tardive dyskenesia (involuntary movement disorder as a side effect of long term use of certain medications)

    To wrap this all up, as I'm running out of bullet points, here's a resource for vocal hygiene to offer simple lifestyle changes and recommendations to help optimize someone's voice. As always, please visit your PCP if you have any concerns!

    [–] What is something you never realized about yourself, until someone pointed it out? artd_echo 2 points ago in AskReddit

    CBT - we can rewire our brains. We just may need some outside help in order to isolate all of the variables, identify the stimulus/response, and then train our brains to do a new behavior to the same stimulus. Then, we need a lot of practice in doing the new behavior across different environments and settings.

    [–] Fuck everyone who says that autism is a gift. It's hell. artd_echo 2 points ago in confessions

    Right now, his trick is blatantly putting coins in his mouth, and then taking off running when you try to stop him.

    This is where a behavioral therapist can assess everything leading up to this behavior, and perhaps an SLP can also help assess what his behavior could be communicating.

    • Where is he before he puts the coins in his mouth?
    • Where are the coins before he puts them in his mouth?
    • Where are you and your wife and what is everyone doing before he puts the coins in his mouth?
    • When was the first time this happened and what was your/your wife's response then?
    • Does he like the texture of the coins?
    • Does he like the reaction from you and your wife?
    • Are there any patterns?

    That, and the constant threat of him just taking off. Forgot to set the lock that's out of his reach on the front door? T

    Oof - I have also worked with some "runners." I feel you. Again, this is where a behavioral therapist and SLP can maybe help shape this behavior into something a little more desirable/less panicky.

    • What leads up to him running off?
    • Where does he go/ is trying to go when he runs off?
    • What are your reactions when this happens?
    • How do you get him back?
    • Are there any patterns? (For example, if you are coaxing him to come back with a treat or preferred item, maybe this is how he thinks he needs to ask for that item? If so, awesome, because now you figured out what he wants and you can help him learn a more functional way to ask for/ obtain that thing.)

    This takes hard work and dedication and in no way am I saying you haven't done that already. I feel your frustration, anxiety, fatigue, all of it. BUT - You are doing the right thing by reaching out right now. Hang in there, OP.

    [–] Fuck everyone who says that autism is a gift. It's hell. artd_echo 1 points ago in confessions

    Thank you for taking the time to write this out and getting it off your chest! Help is out here! I promise!

    I'm an SLP who knows some CBT and SLPs practicing in Northern Nevada. I used to work with non-verbal and approaching verbal children on the spectrum, and I believe everything you are saying in regards to how frustrating and devastating autism can be on both the individual with ASD as well as their family. I've seen it first hand many times. I'm proud of you for seeking resources for yourself as well as your family! You are not alone! You are doing the tough work!

    Is your child's SLP at school using an AAC system with him, such as PECS? Or even proloquo2go or touch chat? Is there a behavioral specialist in your school district that can offer support to your child, teachers, aids, and you and your wife? When I was working in the school system, I worked with one behavioral specialist in particular who was phenomenal.

    What part of Nevada are you in? I'm curious if we can find some more connections and resources for you and your family. Please feel free to private message me if you are looking for more resources than what you currently are seeking.

    [–] ELI5: what IS you doing? artd_echo 3 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago) in explainlikeimfive

    There are two main ways of looking at grammar.

    1. The first way is prescriptive grammar, which is what most people think of when they think of grammar. It's what has been deemed the "correct" way to say or write something - the rules of the language have been prescribed, and this is how people think language should be spoken or written, depending on with whom they are speaking or for what purpose.
    2. The second way is descriptive grammar. Descriptive grammar has no rules. It's how people use language when they aren't thinking about it, and the language use is still deemed acceptable to those using it as it makes sense. It gets the intended meaning across.

    From here, English is spoken by many individuals both as being raised with English as a mother tongue, or being raised bi or multilingual, or speaking more than one dialect, or even acquiring English later in life. This brings us to: sociolinguistics. Sociolinguistics looks at who is using the language and for what purpose, which explains the many dialects and variants of English. This gentleman provides another definition of sociolinguistics as well as reasons to study sociolinguistics.

    [–] Traumatized after knowing my husband cheated. I don’t know if divorce is the right decision due to my emotional breakdown. artd_echo 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago) in relationship_advice

    "After I knew and confronted him he justified it that I am not taking care of myself and he lost his attraction to me so he decided to seek other women."

    He didn't take accountability for his actions and the trauma he has caused. This is self serving thinking and reverse blaming. Not healthy. Not supportive. Not healing.

    According to the Gottman Method, every healthy relationship is supported by trust and commitment. If one of those is violated, then the relationship can fall apart. It doesn't have to, but it is more likely to. When you say

    "I don’t know what he thinks now. He looks sad but he doesn’t take actions to Bring me back to him. All he says is that we should try again for the sake of kids and family. So he turned the Problem from being a cheater and a player to 'we have problems and let’s try to fix it or just separate.'"

    there are a few things here. You see that he is sad, but don't know what he is thinking. You aren't turning towards him - and I get that maybe you aren't ready to right now. At the same time, he isn't turning towards you either. The ability to turn towards your partner is a sign of a healthy relationship. When he cheated on you, he was turning away from you and your relationship then, too. So this has been going on for awhile. Without hearing his side, I see a few things that according to you, he is saying:

    “...we have problems and let’s try to fix it or just separate “

    and

    we should try again.

    and

    He insists to make it look like we have a broken marriage and we need to fix things together and I just can’t stand that.

    Because he cheated, he clearly has very dull tools when it comes to healthy, mature, respectful communication, but I see small glimmers of him trying to communicate something here. He didn't apologize perfectly, and he didn't take full accountability. But, I do hear him say he wants to try to work on it together. He is saying the marriage is broken. Try to hear that.

    Perhaps you and him have gotten into a very poor (and sadly common) habit of poor communication with each other that maybe you or he aren't entirely aware of that lead to the [EXTREMELY HURTFUL AND DEVASTATING] cheating. I know you want to scream at him and blame him for everything because you are in a state of trauma. What he did was very hurtful and in no way am I justifying it.

    At this point, you need to decide if you are able to work with this man, the father of your kids. I strongly encourage you to seek therapy for yourself. If you decide you are able to work with him to repair your relationship and marriage, then I strongly encourage couples therapy together with a professional who specializes in this stuff.

    If both parties are able to turn towards the pain and make actual changes in themselves, there is hope. If you do decide to work with him, he is going to need to have patience with you and your healing process. He doesn't get to decide when you no longer feel the pain. You need to feel it all and process it all in your own way, as well as let him back in to establish trust again, if you are ever going to be able to bless and release this pain.

    If you think working through this trauma together will be too hard for you, LISTEN TO YOURSELF! But still seek therapy for yourself.

    I feel you, OP.

    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<BIG HUGS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    [–] I can’t stop talking and it’s killing all of my relationships! artd_echo 1 points ago in relationship_advice

    "Can't stop myself" isn't true. It just isn't.

    I dunno - verbal impulsivity is very hard to "correct" in unmanaged ADHD without medication and/or cognitive behavioral therapy.

    [–] I [34/m] found condom wrappers in our trash can. My wife [34/f] and I don't use them and I'm wondering how to approach this. artd_echo 3 points ago * (lasted edited 2 months ago) in relationship_advice

    First things first:

    How do you two typically manage conflict? (Is it done respectfully where both parties are heard and respected? Do people admit when they are wrong and apologize when needed? Does everyone understand the other person's perspective? Do you have positive solutions to problems? Is compromise comfortable? Or, do you criticize each other, hold grudges, make sarcastic comments, get defensive, or leave the conflict without a resolution? In other words, do you manage conflict, or avoid it?) I would start there.

    [For example, you said that your sex life with each other and intimacy in general has been in a bit of a rut lately. How do you both express those concerns, and what is the positive solution you have both agreed upon?]

    If you two do NOT have good conflict management skills at baseline, she is likely to perceive any way you present this conflict as being accused of cheating (even if she hasn't - you don't know yet), and may turn mountains out of molehills. OR, if she has been cheating, it has the possibility of turning a mountain into a volcano if you two do not have good conflict management skills already. Trust will be confirmed to have been broken, and that is very heavy.

    So, to organize your thoughts - here are some questions (please take what fits, and discard the rest :) -

    • How much does she know about your current day to day life?
    • How much do you know about her current day to day life?
    • Have you two had any reasons to not trust each other in the past?
    • You have two pre-schoolers, that's awesome! Are you two still making time for each other, though? What does that quality time look like to you?
    • Any new stressors for either one of you? (Financial, work, family, etc.)
    • Do you guys have a shared goal or project or dream that you are both currently working together on?

    Consider these questions, then:

    If you discover you two aren't really involved in each other's lives, then maybe start getting to know each other and making time for each other again. See how she responds.

    If you feel pretty good about all of your answers to the above questions, then I don't think there is harm in saying "hey, funny story, found these condoms in our trash. Weird, right?" And see how she responds.

    A healthy relationship is supported by trust and commitment. If you start mistrusting her by buying surveillance cameras without her knowledge, (which is a nonconsensual act), or start analyzing her every move or whatever, this can hurt trust and she will feel it. If she is immature, she will use those types of behaviors against you and maybe reverse blame you for her actions.

    Best of luck, OP.

    [–] *UPDATE* I (32F) am seriously considering divorcing my husband (31M) after less than one year of marriage. artd_echo 0 points ago in relationship_advice

    I appreciate you trying to be supportive, and support is what OP needs. I like how you said it's not OPs job to fix him and to not entertain "what ifs" as I think that's helpful feedback.

    At the same time, I see how OP maybe would just want to have an answer so she can stop going down the mental rabbit hole of "what ifs," because OP has a hard time trusting her own judgement right now.

    Please consider when you say "it doesn't matter if it did or didn't" when you reference if adderall was contributing to his altered mental status - because it does.

    We are our brains, which is why it's important for medications to be monitored and reviewed regularly for side effects. Adderall can absolutely contribute to aggressive and abuse behavior, such as violent outbursts, if the medication is not the right fit or too high of a dose for the person. If he chose to take Adderall without a proper diagnoses, and wasn't getting regular check ups as is typically the case with Adderall, then he has poor judgement and insight into himself at baseline, which is now confounded into an intolerable, abusive personality change possibly due to misuse and abuse of Adderall. It is near impossible to have accurate insight into yourself when 1) your baseline suggests you don't and 2) you are now taking a medication with an adverse reaction that literally will not allow you to.

    The man needs help, and like you're saying, not from OP at this point.

    [–] What are some “girl secrets” guys don’t know about? artd_echo 5 points ago in AskReddit

    A happy trail is that line of abdominal hair in-between your belly button and your pubic region.

    [–] How did you find out your SO was cheating on you? artd_echo 5 points ago in AskReddit

    Ooph. I'm not sure I want to reveal this whole story online, but I think the TLDR version (without typing it all out) is: when you're that close with someone, you know when something is off.

    [–] How the rest of the world sees USA artd_echo 4 points ago in funny

    Add in Iowa City, Okoboji, Maquoketa, and Cedar Rapids.

    Source: aunts and cousins live in Iowa.

    [–] French butchers issued plea for police protection against vegans, whom they blame for series of attacks designed to “spread terror” among meat-lovers. The butchers say they are coming under “physical, verbal and moral" attack from vegans and animal rights groups in land of “steak frites." artd_echo 3 points ago in worldnews

    This may not be a popular opinion, but I think I am going to try to explain it and hopefully I won't be clumsy or insensitive in doing so. That being said, you know how some people are upset over children being separated from their parents? Even reading the headline of "child separated from parent" pulls on the emotional strings for some people because a family is a unit and when it is forcefully divided that feels wrong and unnatural, so people extend their compassion to those going through that situation. We are teaching that some families born in one area are worthy of never having to contemplate being separated, whereas other families "must go through that" because they were born somewhere else. When you realize that someone's suffering is unnecessary and could be avoided but isn't due to politics and inaction, then that's when the compassion gets heated up and a protest starts. It's hard to control your emotions sometimes. I think that's how it is for some more vocal vegans because they are able to see the value in all life. As a culture, we teach that some animals are raised to be loved and others are raised to be eaten. For some vegans, that is a hard pill to swallow because if we value all life, then why are some animals treated so well, with personalized name tags, toys, and special beds for in the home, whereas others are basically a savory ingredient or staple in a dish and not given much thought because "that's the way it is"? That disparity can create a lot of "assholes" who are having a hard time channeling their emotions while trying to raise awareness of the big business of animal consumption, and the absolutely unnecessary suffering we cause to animals and those whose job is to slaughter them. (I'm not going to touch on the hunting debate or evolution debate or any other reason people use to not go vegan at this time as I must leave now).

    [–] Who's creepier women, or men? artd_echo 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Not that I disagree, but I'm curious. Certain behaviors have more of a creepy stereotype around them that are more often attributed to males, but do females do the same behaviors? I honestly haven't thought about this before.