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    [–] What's the quickest you've "Noped" out of a job? astrowalker 2 points ago in AskReddit

    I was hired as dishwasher for a brand new Mediterranean style restaurant. On opening night, I quickly realized that the equipment they had purchased for washing dishes wasn’t even in the same realm of what they actually needed. The dishes piled up quickly, and trust when I say that the dishwasher (both myself and the machine) was running at 100% efficiency, and after an hour or so there was a seemingly insurmountable pile of dishes. I began to feverishly wash dishes by hand and feed the dishwasher, but there was just no keeping up with the packed out restaurant. When the manager asked me to pick up the pace (seriously I’ve worked on assembly lines in high production settings where I’ve capped thousands of bottles per hour as they flew by... I’m confident there wasn’t a single dishwasher in our urban area that could nor would wash dishes as fast as me...) when he told me to pick up the pace I laughed in his face. I then took off my gloves, calmly set them down and said “ok.” When he walked away, I walked out the back door to have a cigarette and never came back.

    [–] Kid destroys his school computers astrowalker 1 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Didn’t realize it was posted. My bad.

    [–] Kid destroys his school computers astrowalker 1 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Didn’t realize it was posted. My bad.

    [–] Yo mama was so fat, astrowalker 7 points ago in Jokes

    Your mom is a giant whore

    [–] YoUR’e KiLLiNg aNiMaLs astrowalker -4 points ago in funny

    It was more of a tap than a smack I guess

    [–] What was your biggest commission check on a deal? astrowalker 1 points ago in sales

    I was a machinist, an engineer, and then a salesman. It’s a tough nut to crack from what I hear.

    [–] What is your secret hangover cure? astrowalker 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Red Bull and Gatorade has always worked for me. Drink the entire Gatorade, then sip on the red bull

    [–] Tree Fiddy astrowalker 1 points ago in funny

    Dammit mon-suh

    [–] YoUR’e KiLLiNg aNiMaLs astrowalker -16 points ago * (lasted edited 16 days ago) in funny

    My uncle got tired of my sister ruining thanksgiving with her veganist judgment. This last year she was saying things like “I don’t eat anything with a face, you guys are gross,” and “I can’t believe you stuck a beer can inside of that poor turkey, you’re sadistic.” So, at his wits end, my uncle picked up a piece of the turkey he had spent hours preparing to make everyone’s holiday a good holiday, and SMACKED HER WITH IT. She made a noise that is hard to describe with words... almost like at the beginning of that disturbed song “down with the sickness,” and hermit crabbed into her sweater before screaming and telling all of us to fuck off and leaving.

    When she left there was about 5 seconds of silence where we all looked at each other... then a roar of laughter. I feel bad because it was really kind of out of line and disrespectful, but someone’s response to slap someone with meat is absolutely hilarious.

    Edit: it was more of a tap than a smack

    [–] What was your biggest commission check on a deal? astrowalker 14 points ago in sales

    That’s a good one! Congrats on that.

    My largest was 6k and I was fucking pumped. 1% commission plus a generous salary.

    Edit: I sell machine tools

    [–] Outside Sales astrowalker 3 points ago in sales

    Lots of lonely hotel rooms, but you’ve listened to all the music you could want.

    [–] What is a good sales strategy to learn quickly? astrowalker 6 points ago in sales

    What do you sell? Some strategies work better than others depending on the nature of your company.

    It’s pretty simple though... imagine a doctor. Oh go into the doctors office, he asks you a few questions, and diagnoses you. Doctors are the best salesmen... because they tell you “hey I need to cut your torso open and fuck about for a bit, then sew you back up,” and you’re like “great let’s do this.” And if you live in the US, it’s going to cost you thousands. If they didn’t even ask you what was wrong, would you be willing to go under the knife?

    The key to a great sales cycle from what I’ve found, is basing your diagnosis on great questions. Pick their brain, get them talking about their needs, and from their responses deduct your approach.

    Based on everything they tell you, and once you have all the information you need, you can pitch your product and walk them through how it will solve all of their issues.

    After the product is pitched, try a trial close... ask them if they think it will help them. They may object, but that’s great!!! Objections give us an opportunity to shine.

    Once you feel like they’re on the hook, ask if they agree with the plan.

    If they are on board, sell them the goods! Give em a quote or ring em up.

    If you stick to this... you’ll get better exponentially every day. You’ll learn nuances and canned replies... you’ll learn how to manage your emotions and the emotions of others...

    I hope this answers your question!! If you’d like to know more specific details, or about another level of the funnel let me know!! I’m happy to help.

    [–] What are the positives of religion? astrowalker 207 points ago in AskReddit

    I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thought -and many religions practice ritualistic positive thinking in the form of prayer. If someone has been a true believer their whole life then they wholeheartedly believe that prayer will manifest their God given path to whatever they desire, there is no shadow of doubt within their soul. I'm not sure if I'm lucky or the law of attraction is real but my positivity has certainly taken me places in life, and at times I harbor envy for those that believe in a God because they are so convinced that good things will happen to them if they simply let it be. I think I would be so much more confident in the manifestations of my consciousness if I believed my thoughts were received by a loving higher power. So, I think self assurance is a positive trait of religious devotees.

    [–] Family Cosplay Win astrowalker 9 points ago in pics

    Put your finger in your ear and keep pushing until it makes sense.

    [–] Family Cosplay Win astrowalker 10 points ago in pics

    Wait are we talking OJ or Jessica?

    [–] Man publicly executed in Yemen for murder, rape of child astrowalker 2 points ago in worldnews

    It seems somewhat insensitive to mental health advocates but I have to agree with you. There's no room on Earth for a person able to commit such a disgusting act as raping and murdering a kid.

    [–] What item from a dollar store is actually really good? astrowalker 14 points ago in AskReddit

    If you're a fan of the below-the-ankle plain black socks, the dollar store is a great place to stock up. I think it's 5 bucks or so for 12 pairs of some random off brand. I would buy them out almost every time I went there.

    [–] Savage astrowalker 154 points ago in funny

    Conor would have to fuck Mayweather to top this

    [–] 🅱️acey astrowalker 16 points ago in dankmemes

    His look suck