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    [–] Crazy Latina who loves Disney movies and cant find a job atticuslodius 2 points ago in RoastMe

    Do you have wanna do some blow man?

    Or hide our crack around the hall?

    I never work anymore!

    Cause I'm a whore.

    [–] What is the scariest shit that is going on right now that few people know about? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Found out my step father-in-law is the clan leader of a local division of the KKK. I always knew he was racist, but wow… Worse so, he found out that my sister-in-law knows and people in full klan garb have started showing up at her house causing trouble.

    He doesn’t know that I know.

    [–] How smart do you think you are? atticuslodius 2 points ago in AskReddit

    You are only as smart as the people you surround yourself with.

    [–] In this technological age, do you still write paper checks? What do you pay for with them? atticuslodius 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Car Payment. My loan company requires a $15 fee to pay online or by phone. Like seriously?! It's the 21st century.

    [–] What surrounds us but we barely consider? atticuslodius 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Car Alarms going off. Like seriously, when is the last time one went off and you thought, "let me help out or call the cops"?

    [–] What's the funniest real first and last name combination that you've seen? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Bich N. Ho (not joking... Worked for BlueCross BlueShield and she was a customer that would call in.)

    [–] What easy joke that gets a laugh every time? atticuslodius 2 points ago in AskReddit

    A leper had sex with a prostitute. When he was done he said, “you can keep the tip.”

    [–] What’s something weird you did as a kid? atticuslodius 2 points ago in AskReddit

    So I had reoccurring nightmares of a “crud monster” that would grab me and pull me under the bed or couch, etc. if I touched the floor. However, I had 3 seconds to take my feet off the floor and stand up and sit down 3 times in rapid succession to protect myself from being pulled under.

    I got so scared of it, that I started doing it in real life everytime I touched the floor after dark.

    [–] You work for EA (or similar), your task is to come up with most predatory way of milking customer, what is your idea? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Make a slightly overpowered weapon that is only available via purchase with real money.

    Write into the code that someone who has the weapon will be paired with people that do not have the weapon. It will sway the damage/kills/etc. toward the person with the weapon. It will encourage others to buy the weapon and it will make the person who owns it to feel as if it were a worth while purchase.

    [–] What is your ideal sandwich? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Ham, Cheese, Slice of Tomato, Miracle Whip (or Helmans Mayo)

    Roast Beef preferred, but ham more affordable (lol).

    [–] You are given 10 seconds to make someone smile; what do you do? atticuslodius 6 points ago in AskReddit

    Look at them for several seconds deep into their eyes... slowly and softly mumble the word, "diarrhea"

    [–] Go at it, do your worse atticuslodius 3 points ago in RoastMe

    According to the dry erase board today's subject is, "To build a fire". Tune in next week when it's, "How to be a successful suicide bomber."

    [–] Just discovered roast me today and is interested in what you all have to say atticuslodius 3 points ago in RoastMe

    He's already wearing protection for when he has safe sex tonight in the bathroom by himself.

    [–] What is toast? atticuslodius 2 points ago in shittyaskscience

    I have looked all over the grocery store and have never been able to find it, yet my wife serves it with breakfast all the time!! I think she is poisoning me.

    [–] How do you wipe your butt? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Sit on the floor and use my feet to scoot across the carpet.

    [–] If you could make one casting change in any movie, who would you choose to replace whom? atticuslodius 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Replace Frodo with Andrea the Giant from the old WWE wrestling. Just to make it hard for the cinematic guys.