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    [–] [MN] A girl is planning to claim I am the father of her baby when we never had sex blewberyBOOM 544 points ago in legaladvice

    I am a social worker who works in children’s services. As everyone else is saying, contact your caseworker immediately and tell them everything. Tell them about the alcohol abuse in the home, tell them about the yelling, tell them about the manipulation and saying your the father. Be as honest and thorough as possible and disclose all of the issues with the home. If you tell them all of that and stuff still isn’t being done contact your local children’s advocate. They are literally there to advocate on your behalf.

    As everyone else has said, it would be illegal for you to be the father because of your age so if that’s the way your foster parent and her daughter want to go they are just causing trouble for themselves. This 22 year old woman is claiming to have sexually abused you and, true or not, the foster mother is failing to protect you. This should lead to an investigation into the home and (hopefully) that foster home will be shut down. Either way the daughter is claiming to have sexually abused you, you are not going to be required to stay in that home.

    As far as being able to afford a lawyer and DNA testing, that is not your responsibility. You are a minor who is in the care of the state. If it gets to that stage (which I seriously doubt it will once the foster family realizes what a world of misery they are opening on themselves) all costs involved will be the responsibility of the state since they are your legal guardian.

    Stop discussing the paternity with your foster family. Do not offer DNA testing, do not sign anything, do not engage in any discussion at all. When your foster mother brings it up tell her you are not talking about it and to talk to your caseworker. If she brings you to a doctor or for DNA testing tell the doctor you want your caseworker present. She is digging her own grave. Your caseworker or lawyer may later ask you to do a DNA test to prove it is not your child, but that is something that should be done with them, not with your foster parent. As already said multiple times, there are much larger legal implications in what is going on here and you really need to get CPS involved.

    [–] "Homosexuality is a degeneracy" hmm... blewberyBOOM 11 points ago in beholdthemasterrace

    It’s like that old poem. Rub-a-dub-dub, 5 nazis in a tub

    [–] Previously glutinous dog couldn’t care less about food. Should I be worried? blewberyBOOM 1 points ago in AskVet

    Hahaha sorry about that. It was 3am when I wrote this. I knew something looked wrong.

    I will get my dog booked into the vet right away. Thanks for the advice!

    [–] Previously glutinous dog couldn’t care less about food. Should I be worried? blewberyBOOM 1 points ago * (lasted edited a month ago) in AskVet

    Update- my good good boy has an appointment. The vet suspects he may just be bored with his food but he’s due for a shot so I’m bringing him in anyway and we will kill two birds with one stone. Thanks for the advice!

    [–] I want to go back to school but I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to start. blewberyBOOM 1 points ago in needadvice

    going back to school is so exciting, but also so overwhelming. Hopefully I can help, I am pretty familiar with the university system in Canada.

    First things first make an appointment to talk to a student advisor at the schools you are interested in attending. If the school isn’t local to you you may be able to talk to an advisor over the phone. Be sure to bring with you a copy of your high school transcript and write down all your questions ahead of time so that once you get in there you remember everything you wanted to ask. Be sure to prioritize though because most student advisers appointments are only about 15 minutes.

    Find out what kind of upgrading (if any) you need to take. I would definitely recommend asking about “open studies” which would allow you to take university courses without declaring a major right away so you can take a variety of courses and decide what you like. This has the added bonus of potentially helping you raise your GPA before applying to a program if that is a concern for you. I know in Alberta, the University that I attended had a certain number of course requirements in sciences, social sciences, and humanities so even if you take courses in an area that you end up not going into they may still count towards you getting your degree in the end, but this likely varies from University to University so I would ask the adviser to be sure.

    The next step is to do some upgrading if that is what the advisor recommends. She may tell you that your other grades are strong enough without the math or she may tell you to go back and get math 12. There are a lot of adult learning centres and upgrade options so you just need to Google your local area to see what’s available to you. But again, ask first. This may not even be necessary at all.

    After that the only thing left to do is apply! This part can be scary and a little bit expensive (applications cost money) but you never know until you try. Unfortunately application deadlines are coming up real fast- I believe UBC’s application deadline is January 15, Uvic’s is Feb 1, etc. so if you are hoping to get into the next school year you really have to get a move on it right now. After you get accepted you can apply for student loans and stuff like that if need be, so don’t worry about that quite yet.

    Good luck!

    [–] Not on my watch blewberyBOOM 4 points ago in gifs

    I came here to make sure somebody said this

    [–] Do Natives Americans from USA have the same card and benefits that native people have here in Canada ? blewberyBOOM 8 points ago in answers

    Yes, it is very unlikely that a band would sell you land in order for you to open a casino and “what stops you” is that you can’t have a business on land you have no right to. You couldn’t break into your neighbours house and start a travel agency out of their kitchen! Now, if your neighbour wanted to start a travel agency out of their kitchen they could invite you to invest and take some of the profit from the business until your loan to them is paid off (with interest, obviously), but you still wouldn’t own their kitchen. Same thing with building a casino on a reserve. Investors may own part of the business but the land the casino is on belongs only to the band.

    [–] Do Natives Americans from USA have the same card and benefits that native people have here in Canada ? blewberyBOOM 1 points ago in answers

    That’s interesting. In Canada only First Nations people are sales-tax exempt on reserves. If I go buy cigarettes or gas on a reserve as a non-native I still need to pay tax. You need to be able to produce a status card to be tax exempt.

    [–] Do Natives Americans from USA have the same card and benefits that native people have here in Canada ? blewberyBOOM 45 points ago * (lasted edited 4 months ago) in answers

    To clarify, the card allows first Nations people to not pay taxes on goods sold and bought on reserves. They still need to pay taxes for gas and cigarettes everywhere else The GST/HST does not apply to goods bought on a reserve by Indians, Indian bands, and unincorporated band-empowered entities. Goods bought off a reserve by Indians, Indian bands, and unincorporated band-empowered entities are subject to GST/HST, unless the goods are delivered to a reserve by the vendor or the vendor's agent. The exemption under section 87 of the Indian Act does not apply when an Indian, an Indian band, or a band-empowered entity buyer takes possession of goods off a reserve and self-delivers the goods to the reserve.

    It’s true that they can drive (not fly) over the US/ Canada boarder without a passport though. United States border officials at land ports of entry, including ferry and lake crossings, may accept any version of the secure certificate of Indian status (secure status card) and any version of the certificate of Indian status, provided it is still valid. The Government of Canada cautions that the acceptance of those documents for border crossing into the United States is entirely at the discretion of the U.S. government.

    I know this doesn’t really answer your question about whether or not First Nations people in the US have the same rights, but I thought it was important to clarify your statement since there’s so much misinformation and confusion about First Nations rights in Canada :)

    Edit: I did some googling. It looks like the boarder crossing thing does not go both ways

    [–] 30 F Social worker Canada----> UK (or really anywhere english speaking) blewberyBOOM 1 points ago in IWantOut

    Thank you! I was thinking of aiming for a year or two from now but if I take this route I should probably get a move on haha

    [–] I [18M] got fed up and retaliated to my girlfriend slapping, biting, punching, and hitting her, and she fell asleep crying. blewberyBOOM 2 points ago in relationship_advice

    I was looking for someone to say “you could have left” instead of “you did nothing wrong.” OP did do something wrong- he threatened her. What the girlfriend was doing was absolutely not ok, but one abuse never justifies another, and holding someone down and threatening them is still abusive, even if OP didn’t hit her. Telling her that you were just angry and would never actually do it doesn’t make what happened ok.

    That being said, OP, what your girlfriend is doing is not ok. As others have said play fighting is only play fighting when both people are engaged and having fun, otherwise it’s domestic violence. I agree with others that it sounds like she’s testing limits and trying to establish power. She sounds incredibly immature and juvenile. This isn’t healthy. If you are going to stay in this relationship (because as much as everyone says just leave her let’s be real it’s not always that simple) it’s critical that you set very clear, simple rules and that there is never any exception. Tell her what will happen if she touches you after you say stop then do what you said if that happens! If you say you will call the police, call the police. If you say you’ll be done, be done. If you say you’re going to leave the apartment, leave the apartment. Every time, no exceptions.

    To that end I would just say to anyone in a situation like this- if you feel yourself getting more and more frustrated and angry and feel like you might react physically towards someone, leave. If you’re saying no but someone continues to interact with your body in a way you don’t like, leave. Consent isn’t just for sex, and it isn’t just for females- you’re allowed to say stop when something you don’t like is being done to your body, and if the person doing that thing doesn’t listen they are not a safe person. Leave the situation as soon as safely possible. Don’t worry about hurting someone’s feelings or what they will think, protect yourself first- leave. Never feel that you need to stay somewhere where your autonomy is not being respected.

    [–] 30 F Social worker Canada----> UK (or really anywhere english speaking) blewberyBOOM 2 points ago in IWantOut

    Thank you for the info. I have noticed in my searches that it’s a bit of a pay cut to go to the UK but let’s be honest, social workers everywhere are overworked and under appreciated, especially in child protection, so I’m used to that haha.

    [–] How to Cure Your Dog's Jumping Problem blewberyBOOM 2 points ago in puppy101

    Thanks for this! My dog is almost two and fully jumps all four feet off the ground when he gets excited. I’m going to have to try this

    [–] I'm a Mandated Reporter but my boss instructs me not to report blewberyBOOM 32 points ago in legaladvice

    This. DCFS isn’t in charge of making sure you’re employer follows the rules so even if you were to go up the chain of command by continually asking for supervisors (as some people have suggested) it really wouldn’t do you any good because you’re going up the wrong chain.

    I am a frontline worker in child protection. When someone calls me my job is to investigate the claim, assess the legitimacy of the report, establish whether or not harm has been done to a child (and to what extent), and then decide what actions need to be taken to ensure the safety and well-being of the child. I’m not in charge of making sure mandated reporters are doing their jobs. Granted I’m not in your state so I can’t comment on your individual states child welfare system, however I can say that whenI get a call my only concern is for the children involved, not for the the employment status of the person calling. That’s a totally separate ball game from anything I deal with.

    That being said our referral source (where I live anyway) is considered protected information. It’s protected to the extent that if a judge asks me in court were the referral came from I am not allowed to tell them. So assuming it’s protected in your state as well that hopefully gives you at least a little bit of comfort knowing that unless you own up to it, your bosses will never be able to confirm that you are the one who called it in. You can always deny and say that you never said anything and the kid must have told someone else. Regardless of how you handle it I have sympathy for you. That’s a really shitty situation to be put in by your employer, especially as a mandated reporter.

    [–] Dog walker smokes - am I worrying too much? blewberyBOOM 3 points ago in puppy101

    I agree. I don’t think smoking is a fireable offence, especially when it’s something that’s so easy to fix. Just explain that you’ve noticed the smell on your dog after walks and ask her to please hold off when she’s in closed quarters so that you’re dog is not breathing it in and you don’t have to deal with the smell. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request.

    [–] [PDF] Dude murders his cellmate, fires his lawyer, and attempts to seduce the judge in open court blewberyBOOM 22 points ago in amibeingdetained

    As funny as this was to read, It really struck me how shockingly unprofessional that judge was. There is no way he should have let it go on that far. Telling the guy he looks like “a queer” and asking him to jerk off in the court room is just unbelievable. And then just yelling “yelling” over and over again to, what, make more noise than him? That’s what children do. He is a judge! It’s his job to control the court room. He should be held to a higher standard than that. That other man clearly had some mental health issues and wasn’t about to get himself under control, especially not once the judge started feeding into his tantrum. The judge should have had him removed instead of egging him on. That was entertaining but also awful when you remember that that guy is in charge of doling out justice for people- not just that guy, but anyone who comes into his courtroom.

    [–] Can doctors legally acknowledge their patients in public? blewberyBOOM 2 points ago in answers

    I’m not a doctor, but a social worker in a field where privacy is also taken extremely seriously. I was always taught not to acknowledge my clients if I see them in public unless they acknowledge me first, and if they do to keep the conversation light and short. I would decline to talk about any case information outside of work hours/ scheduled meetings. Especially if they were with family or friends etc. acknowledging them in public might put them in an awkward situation of having to explain who I am (or lie about it) and “out” their involvement with social services, even if I’m not talking about specific case information.

    On the other hand if a client approaches me when I’m with someone else and that person asks who that was (as you do) I generally say that it’s someone I know through work. It leaves it vague enough that it doesn’t let that person know if they are a client or a coworker or whatever and helps me avoid going into details because most people won’t push it past that.

    [–] Are dogs capable of staying when you leave a room? blewberyBOOM 2 points ago in Dogtraining

    My dog is nearly 2 and this is the method I’ve used with him. It’s worked pretty well. Since he was a puppy he has had a “spot” and I’ve made him stay and wait on his spot while I got his meals out and then said “take it” when it’s ready. Now he will wait in another room if I tell him to because he thinks he is getting fed. Of course, there are limits. He will wait a few minutes but obviously if I push it too far he is going to try to investigate and figure out what’s taking so long. Also I can’t leave the house. He’s always crated when I leave so if he hears the outside door and he’s not in his crate he gets super confused and instantly comes running/ starts barking because he knows that’s not what’s supposed to happen. Over all though if I’m just going into another room and tell him to stay it’s no problem

    [–] Will I fail a drug test if I smoked twice 2-3 months ago? blewberyBOOM 32 points ago in answers

    I work in child protection and in my area anyway we are no longer using hair follicle drug testing because studies have shown that it can give false positives, disproportionately effecting people with thick dark strands of hair. So hey! If you fail there’s always that little fact to fall back on, especially if you happen to be a person of colour. hair follicle testing is racist

    [–] Something gross coming out of my dog's penis... What is it? blewberyBOOM 1 points ago in DogHealth

    The same thing happens to my dog sometimes so I’ve looked it up. I’m not a vet but from what I’ve found it seems like it’s totally normal and it happens to all male dogs. What I found online is that a small amount of yellow-white or slightly green tinged discharge from the end of your dog's prepuce is usually normal. It’s made of cells and lubricant fluid that surrounds the penis inside its protective sheath. You should seek veterinary assistance if there is bloody or pus-like discharge from the penis or prepuce, or high volumes of discharge because that could be indication of infection or injury, but in small amounts like in your picture it’s to be expected

    [–] What are the best travel accessories you have bought? blewberyBOOM 6 points ago in solotravel

    It kind of depends on what kind of traveling your doing and for how long but in more developing countries I always appreciate my life straw and end up drinking much more water than I would without it because I know that even unbottled water will be safe, and it’s small enough to keep in my purse or daypack so I can carry it with me. I find it especially useful in places where the water might be clean but I have no clue where the ice cubes came from (I love ice, that’s just how it is). life straw

    The other thing that I’ve just added to my luggage in the last few years is a scrubba wash bag. It’s light, it roles up really small, and it does double duty as a personal washing machine and a dry bag for outings. Instead of having a separate bag or packing cube for my dirty items I just throw them right into the wash bag and after a day or two add some water and soap, role it around a little bit and just like that my clothes are clean and ready to be worn again. It cuts down immensely on how much I need to pack and means I’m not running around looking for laundry facilities. The fact that I can use it as a dry bag too is just a bonus! I’ve used it at the beach, on boats, rafting down the river... it’s well worth it and I don’t travel without it anymore scrubba wash bag