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    [–] Pegging and choking. Need advice on both charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    Kudos to you for assessing the risks and redefining your limits accordingly. I feel like limits are unnecessarily static for too many people.

    Most of my friends and family members are aware of my autoerotic asphyxiation & breath play and have been instructed to disclose my predilections to the authorities if I die in an apparent BDSM accident or under suspicious circumstances.

    [–] Pegging and choking. Need advice on both charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    I do full blown make me pass out breath play and it’s definitely a gamble legally. Make sure that’s a risk you can live with. They don’t call it edge play for nothing. Think about how far you want to take PRICK and RACK.

    [–] Wearing harnesses and collars as fashion accessories charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    You’re good to go hun, but I appreciate your consideration of possible cultural appropriation and seeking input from community stakeholders.

    [–] What's your "origin story"? charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    You know that choking game that kids play? I was REALLY into that. I loved the way it made me feel. Then shortly after I first started masturbating I was like hmmm if I choke myself while masturbate I can combine two of my favorite sensations. Then when I started having sex with other people, I was like “Choke me!” Eventually I ending up hooking up with someone that was really into BDSM (unbeknownst to me prior to us hooking up). They were the first person besides myself to actually choke me hard enough to restrict blood flow to my brain. I was in heaven. After I said choke me, they assumed I was down for some kinky shit and introduced me to more BDSM types of play.

    [–] The complications of getting a dog charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    It’s never been an issue for me. My dog is crate trained. His crate is another room of our house. I say go to bed and he’s runs to his crate waiting for a treat. If it’s going to be loud I take my laptop in his room set it in front of his crate and put on Trailer Park Boys (my dog’s name is Julian). It covers up the sound a little bit and gives him something else to focus on.

    [–] In this thread, please discuss the responsibilities of a Dominant partner in the case where their counterpart freezes or is otherwise unwilling to safe-word. More specifically, the responsibility of the dominant to be actively searching for, and notice, the situation - in the heat of the moment. charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    I’m switch, but I’d like to share an experience I had as a sub where I froze and didn’t safeword when I needed too. Thankfully I couldn’t have asked for a better response from the Dom.

    It had never occurred to me that safewording for mental reasons was a thing. (In hindsight this seems ridiculous.) I’d only ever safeworded because my physical limits were being approached or exceeded.

    He was doing some degradation which normally I like, but he said something that hit a nerve. I froze and started tearing up. I was blindfolded so he couldn’t tell immediately but a few seconds later he realized something was wrong and took the blindfold off. I just started balling and he just held me and let me cry and was so sweet. Totally didn’t expect that response. I don’t know him that well, our dynamic is mostly S/M, and we don’t do aftercare together so I just didn’t know there was that side to him.

    He’s someone who I would say gets very into Dom space and he doesn’t know me that well that I would have expected him to be able to pick up on my nonverbal cues. But even with both those factors he still noticed something was wrong and stopped the scene. Like someone else said with great power comes great responsibility. I don’t think Doms need to be actively searching for these signs just practice situational awareness. I just don’t think it’s that hard to tell something is wrong when someone becomes complete unresponsive. Blissed out subspace usually looks different than catatonia from a scene going wrong.

    That being said it’s not 100% on the Dom. Even in D/s we’re all adults and we have to be responsible for our own well-being. You can’t expect someone to be a mind reader. If he wouldn’t have noticed and kept going I would have brought it up when the scene was over, but I absolutely wouldn’t have held it against him. I think part of RACK is knowing that scenes can go wrong and being prepared to deal with that.

    [–] [Request] American Dad S12E15 Roger charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in gifrequests

    It’s perfect thank you so much!😁 Sorry that’s how it’s named in Hulu. Should have mentioned that.🤦‍♀️

    [–] How important is BDSM/kink in your relationship? charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    It’s not that important to me, but I’m not monogamous so I can get my desires met outside my primary relationship. I need my primary partner to at least be into rough sex, but I don’t need them to be into full on BDSM.

    [–] Boyfriend Kink-shaming charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    Thank you all for your suggestions - I’m not a confrontational person so it was difficult for me to figure out how to bring these things up. Your comments have also helped me feel better and reduced the shame I feel about the situation.

    [–] Boyfriend Kink-shaming charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    Your “With "slut" in a setting with a sex partner it likely makes you feel sexually empowered and vivacious...” remark perfectly describes how I feel. Thank you for providing such clear and concise language to express my feelings.

    [–] Abused Woman Held Captive By Boyfriend Slips Note To Veterinary Staff charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in videos

    Be sorry that a dangerous individual is free, but don’t be sorry for me. I just wanted to share that’s the war on drugs is preventing the prosecution of DV cases on all socioeconomic and education levels. I’m fortunate that my privilege allowed me access to counseling so that I could move past this, but even with all my privilege I still couldn’t get justice and that fucking sucks.

    [–] Abused Woman Held Captive By Boyfriend Slips Note To Veterinary Staff charmbombexplosion 78 points ago * (lasted edited 5 months ago) in videos

    I’d like to share a story. TW: rape In college I grew magic mushrooms. My then BOYFRIEND drugged and raped me. Literally ground up ambien and oxy and put it my dinner. I woke up in pain, he admitted what he did like it was no big deal. He said he didn’t think I’d feel it since I was asleep. He was baffled that I was upset. I broke up with him. Immediately after he left I called my local rape crisis center went and had a rape kit done. I had every intention of pressing charges. He found out I was going to get the police involved and blackmailed into silence by threatening to turn me in for growing mushrooms. In my state growing mushrooms is the same charge as cooking meth “manufacturing a controlled substance” and as I have a previous MJ possession charges I would subject to mandatory minimums and sentencing enhancements. I’d definitely be looking at serving double digits. My local justice system is much more concerned with prosecuting drug crimes, especially manufacturing, than prosecuting DV crimes. Comparing the sentences handed down for rape vs manufacturing a CS I decided to drop it and try to move on.

    I know I’m the reason I couldn’t pursue a legal case but for fuck’s sake a rapist is free because I got busted with a joint and grew mushrooms. Really? Are we as a society safer with that outcome of events?

    [–] Oral sex training using gag? charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    I second this tooth brush tip. I asked a gay friend for blow job tips in college and his told me this. It has completely taken my BJ game to a whole other level. Also focus on brushing the inside of your very back teeth top and bottom. That helps suppress the gag reflex even more.

    [–] classmates keep asking charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in selfharm

    When people ask about my scars, I respond with statements that obviously aren’t true in a light-hearted manner. Usually they get the hint that I don’t want to talk about it. Examples: “Wolverine attacked me.” “Me and Garfield got in fight over the last piece of lasagna.” “I went on a date with Edward Scissorhands.”

    If they don’t get the hint, I tell them to fuck off or use it as opportunity to raise awareness and educate depending on the situation and my mental state.

    [–] Is anyone else an adult in this mainly “teen girl illness”? charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in selfharm

    I’m 26 about to be 27. Started self-harming at age 9. I thought I was done for good at 24 but then relapsed 8 months ago. I look young for my age too - I still get carded when I buy rolling papers at gas stations. I feel like my scars make me look even younger than I do already because of their primary association with teens. I feel like if it weren’t for the scars people would guess my age as 20-22, but when people see my scars they people think I’m a minor.🤷‍♀️

    [–] Burn charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in SelfHarmScars

    It may scar but in my experience burns scars are easier to explain away as it’s less apparent they’re a result of SH.

    [–] Years old scars not disappearing. I hate constantly wearing long sleeves year round. Anyone know if I'd be able to get it covered up by a tattoo? charmbombexplosion 5 points ago in SelfHarmScars

    A good tattoo artist can work the raised aspect of the scars into the design. To get the best results in terms of coverage you’ll need to give the artist pretty free rein design wise.

    Even if you can still tell that the scars are raised, a tattoo with a reasonably intricate design will at least distract from the scars enough that you can wear short sleeves.

    [–] Any way for bruises to heal faster? charmbombexplosion 2 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    My bruises come up a few days later too. One thing that helps me that people haven’t mentioned is massaging the bruises. I’m talking Swedish pressure not deep tissue. In my experience it spreads out the bruises and it turns them yellow faster instead of being blue and red. Since it spreads them out and blurs the edges it’s less obvious what caused the bruises. Also in my opinion yellow bruises are less startlingly noticeable and easier to cover if necessary. Obviously this only works on bruises you can reach. I can massage bruises on my booty and lower back, but I can’t effectively do ribcage up. I’ve also had success with the other methods people mentioned - just something else to try.

    [–] Opinions on Daria! The Musical? charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in daria

    I’ve never made it all the way through the episode. Musical episodes aren’t my cup of tea.

    [–] Daria and Jane aside, what character do you most relate to on the show? charmbombexplosion 5 points ago in daria

    Jake all the way. Trying so hard but unable to find professional success. Emotionally volatile. Daddy issues.

    [–] Self harm scars and uniform? charmbombexplosion 1 points ago in Chipotle

    What do you mean? I called RW a few times as a crew member and never had a bad experience. As a manager I’ve had RW call about a crew complaint, and they were always helpful in providing suggestions on how to address the complaint. I literally told my crew, “I hope you feel like you can come to me with any issues, but if you want to remain anonymous I understand and you can call RW - RW will tell me about your concerns, but I won’t know who it came from.”

    [–] Breathe play suggestions? charmbombexplosion 3 points ago in BDSMcommunity

    Breath play was my original kink. I played the choking game as a kid and when I started masturbating I made it sexual.

    Someone mentioned windpipe versus pressure point blood choking. I would like to expand on that.

    You know where you check to feel a pulse? That’s your target. When I choke myself I find my pulse on both sides neck and that’s where I apply pressure. You don’t have to apply much pressure to restrict the flow of oxygen to the brain which is the end game for breath play. This is the best method I have found to avoid leaving marks because of the minimal pressure for maximum effect. I don’t mind marks but you can only wear so many turtlenecks before people think it’s weird.

    Obviously you can’t stop to line up perfectly during sex but try it in non-sexual context a few times to get a good idea of your target area. In the act think about applying pressure on the sides of the neck as opposed to the front of the neck. It requires much more pressure to reduce oxygen if you’re pressing on the windpipe as opposed to the carotid arteries. It also restricts your bottom’s ability to speak sooner making it more difficult to communicate problems.

    As for non-verbal safewords a dog clicker works well. Don’t be afraid to call for help if things go bad. I feel breath play is one the highest risk bdsm activities - think about how many people have died from erotic asphyxiation. Obviously I’m still 100% team breath play; I just want to impress upon you the importance of considering it with the weight it deserves.