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    [–] Red or Blue (choose wisely) evanfghfghgfh 273 points ago in memes

    Growing up I didn't realize how poor we were. My parents were amazing at
    providing for us. We loved watching baseball games and I wanted to go
    to a game so bad. We never could afford it.

    To make up for it, while we were at school, my mom made up tickets to
    that night's game and money for us to "spend". When we got home she had
    set up chairs in front of the TV and numbered them. Gave us the tickets
    and money and told us to go clean up before the game. Come game time we
    lined up at the doorway, my dad took our tickets and told us how to get
    to our seats. After the game started my parents went to the kitchen and
    had a tray of hot dogs, candy and soda. "Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs!"
    We got out the money my mom made and bought whatever snacks we wanted.

    Best baseball game I've ever been to.

    [–] moment of happiness .... evanfghfghgfh 1339 points ago in nextfuckinglevel

    Many people are not aware of the fact that she stood for 2 hours doing this

    Hats off to her

    [–] Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. evanfghfghgfh 534 points ago in Jokes

    A lawer, a surgeon, and a janitor are going on a camping trip...

    when they discover a magical wizard.

    He says, "I will give you what youmost desire if you do someone else's job for a day.

    "The lawyer says, "Easy! I'll be a kindergarten teacher! How hard can itbe to read to a bunch of little kids?" He gets transported into aclassroom.

    He starts off strong, but after two hours, the kids' screamsget to him and he gives up in frustration.Next, the surgeon says, "I've got this! I'll just be a waiter, all theydo is walk around with trays of food all day."

    He is transported into arestaurant. After three hours, the annoying customers drive him insaneand he quits out of rage.Finally, it's the janitor's turn. He says, "I'll be an artist for aday." So he is teleported into an art studio. He takes a bunch of randompaint and junk from around the studio and makes an abstract paintingwhich he sells for 100 million dollars.In awe, the genie asks,

    "Wow, that was amazing! How did you do it?"The janitor replies, "I have a masters degree in art."

    [–] I did Nazi that coming evanfghfghgfh 482 points ago in WhitePeopleTwitter

    BuT hOw WiLl ThEy LeARn tHEiR HisToRY!??

    [–] The ol' razzle dazzle from AOC evanfghfghgfh 6 points ago in WhitePeopleTwitter

    They keep that hypocrisy in the same storage unit where they keep their hypocrisy on Supreme Court nominations in an election year.

    [–] It’d be so hard !!! evanfghfghgfh 37 points ago in WhitePeopleTwitter

    We are witnessing the consequences of education being de-funded and not being a priority in our country. We all suffer.

    [–] (My 6 year old’s first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed? evanfghfghgfh 135 points ago in dadjokes

    My 6 year old son came running into the room and said, "Dad is your shirt blue?"

    "Yes it is buddy."

    "Why don't you cheer it up then?" And then he left the room.

    [–] Toxic Workplace Culture Is a Bigger Driver of the Great Resignation Than Pay Company culture was 10.4 times more likely to predict employee attrition than compensation, a new study finds. evanfghfghgfh 8 points ago in Futurology

    It's very obvious that someone has been injured if they lose a limb or afinger in an industrial machinery accident. But, injuries like this arenot looked at as "real" or something you need to "get over". I'mlooking forward to a day where we can readily and authoritativelyrecognize mental damage from work environments and hold employersaccountable, in precisely the same way as someone who is outwardly,physically injured.

    [–] You know why I hate elevators? evanfghfghgfh 133 points ago in dadjokes

    Girlfriend got me good while entering the elevator.

    The door opened and I said: "After you my dear". Her response: "Thank you my elk"!

    It took me a while to realize it, but damn I'm proud.

    [–] Eminem has started a vaccine company evanfghfghgfh 58 points ago in Jokes

    Eminem walks into a bar and orders two shots of..

    The bartender cuts him off and says, “You only get one shot.”

    [–] Italian Girl evanfghfghgfh 336 points ago in Jokes

    An 18 year-old Italian girl tells her mother she missed her period for two moths.

    Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
    The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing,
    crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want
    to know!"

    The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a
    Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man
    with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the
    of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with
    the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your
    daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my
    personal family situation but I'll take charge."

    "I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her
    life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a
    beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a
    $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of
    factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a
    factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do
    you suggest I do?"

    At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly
    on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."