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    [–] Fortnite dancer gets rekt felixjawesome 1 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Cop: Am I doing it right?

    Victim: Hold, let's stand side by side, it will make more sense that way. Just follow along with me. Okay, so just get the rhythm by moving your arms like a pendulum....and then....move your hips back and forth in sync-You got it!

    Cop: I'm doing it! I'm doi- <knocks gun out of holster, hits concrete and fires, shooting the victim in the arm.> Oh shit!

    Victim (wheezing): waaaaaaaaaaaah what the fuck man!

    -----at the disciplinary hearing for the cop-----

    Chief: "Tell me, Officer Cop. What on Earth were you doing when your gun discharged, hitting that boy who called in an assault?"

    Cop: "I was....<clears throat> danc- dancing, sir.

    Chief: "Excuse me? Please repeat that for the record."

    Cop: "DANCING, sir. I was dancing."

    Chief: "Why were you dancing?"

    Cop: "The victim, he was teaching me how to dance. The really popular one. From the internet game."

    Chief: "Please, demonstrate."

    Cop: "Uhhhh, I's kind of complicated."

    Chief: "Nonsense. Show me."

    <Cop hesitates at first, but starts then starts flossing in a syncopated rhythm>

    Chief: "Alright, alright. I've seen enough....What were we talking about? Why are you here in the first place? To show me your dance? Get out of my office. Stop wasting my time with your silly little dance and get back out on the streets. Those poor people and protestors aren't going to beat themselves."

    [–] Alex Jones protests outside the White House by shouting the name of his website felixjawesome 4 points ago in Alex_Jonestown

    Trump is going to end up being conservative Christ, he's going to be crucified and die on the cross for all the sins of the Republicans. The Neocons will wash their hands of all their corruption and "turn a new leaf" in a post-Trump world, if he doesn't try to end it first.

    [–] Not A Pleasant Bike Ride Home felixjawesome 1 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Its too bad the arab neighbours of Palestine (I.e. Egypt, Saudi, etc.) aren't backing them up militarily.

    Well...that didn't work out so well for Palestine or the neighbors the last time that happened. Israel knows how to defend itself, and it does it extremely well. I'm also widely believed to have nuclear weapons and considering 1/3 of Americans want Israel to go to war to kick start the apocalypse, I don't think military action is a great idea.

    [–] Woman knocks Trump supporter's hat off felixjawesome 2 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Check the stats of Portugal's drug use post-decriminalization.

    That's nice.

    But! There is massive profit to be made off of the criminalization of drug addiction by the for-profit prison industry. Conservatives don't see addiction as disease, they see it as a form of Social Darwinism, a way to "thin the herd" of undesirables and keep the poor from obtaining upward social mobility.

    Almost all of the drug prohibition in the US stem from some kind of racist justification: anti-Mexican sentiments led to marijuana's prohibition, and anti-Black sentiments led to the prohibition of cocaine and heroin.

    The cause of all the gang violence in Latin America, the caravans, and the immigration crisis at the border are all a direct result of the United States' demand for drugs.

    [–] Woman knocks Trump supporter's hat off felixjawesome -2 points ago in PublicFreakout

    that shit can hurt if the bill hits your face





    [–] When that girl you jumped shows up at your job... felixjawesome 3 points ago in PublicFreakout

    My new life goal is to get Samuel L. Jackson to narrate one of my stories.

    [–] When that girl you jumped shows up at your job... felixjawesome 3 points ago in PublicFreakout

    420 upvotes and I write a series of short stories based on popular uploads on this sub.

    [–] Not A Pleasant Bike Ride Home felixjawesome 4 points ago in PublicFreakout

    An unfortunate reality of navigating the Israel-Palestine conflict due to intense lobbying and the insane amount of money flowing between the US and Israel.

    I would love to travel to Israel someday. My first girlfriend was Jewish. One of my best friends is Jewish. My brother-in-law and nephews are Jewish. Some of my favorite artists are Jewish, and I am really digging the ideas of the Frankfurt school (thanks Alt-right!, thanks Jordan Peterson!, for introducing me to these Neo-marxist degenerates! I feel I am better equipped to subvert the mechanics of Capitalism to establish a libertarian-socialist state!).

    For an anti-Semite, I am rather fond of the Jewish people which is why I would very much like to see peace in the region. When people think Israel/Palestine, I want them to imagine a stock photo of an Arab and Jew shaking hands and laughing.

    [–] Kid Runs Off With Annoying Preacher Ladies Sign. (Students Cheer) felixjawesome 1 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Just because I tell you to stfu up doesn't mean you have to listen or obey. You have every right to respond with a stfu and an insult to my mom if you are so inclined. I can't stop you. We might get into some crazy banter and end up being BFFs, and you become my best man at my wedding, and you tell this story during the toast and it gets really meta and pisses off my in-laws, and about how great of a person I am, and how the girl I am marrying is the luckiest woman on the planet. And then you are there during the divorce, always got my back, I respect that bro.

    Are you not a private citizen?

    Private citizens can't be censored by the government. But public servants can, which is why the military is allowed to read through soldiers' letters to home, and censor whatever they like.

    It's ignorant argue in absolute terms. There is no such thing as absolute "free speech." There are limits to speech. There are plenty of things one can say that will get them into legal, financial, or physical trouble. For example, a lot of times employees are contractually obligated to not disclose company secrets or face legal consequences. Another example: you are not allowed to incite violence. Libel is also a limit on speech, and for the most part, people agree that libel and slander are shitty things to do.

    So...what u doin' on Saturday? You like wii bowling?

    [–] i'm a walking mermaid bitch! felixjawesome 3 points ago in PublicFreakout

    It's featured in the third season of the Fargo TV series pretty predominately. Shout out to /r/FargoTV Good show. I think Chris Rock is going to play the lead in season 4.

    [–] Not A Pleasant Bike Ride Home felixjawesome 21 points ago in PublicFreakout

    An estimated 118,000 ultra-Orthodox Jews now live in settlements on Palestinian land, 15% of which are from the US. One of those occupiers, Baruch Goldstein, a doctor originally from Brooklyn who moved to Kiryat Arba, murdered 29 Muslim worshipers in the Tomb of the Patriarchs on February 1994.

    Perhaps this video will give people perspective of what the Palestinians have to deal with. The Settlements are predominately populated with religious zealots who have a bitter hatred for Arabs. To add to that, many of these settlements are funded by American Evangelicals who see Jewish occupation of the holy land as the catalyst that will bring about Jesus Christ's second coming, the rapture, and apocalypse....they fund it because they want to see Israel turn into a battlefield, and they even have a thriving apocalypse-themed tourism industry.

    I'm not necessarily pro-Palestine, but Israel seems to be doing everything it can to prevent peace in the region by propping up these religious lunatics on occupied land.

    [–] Degenerate of the year, Jesus Christ. felixjawesome 6 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Do you even study the blade, dude? adjust fedora to hide receding hairline.

    [–] Degenerate of the year, Jesus Christ. felixjawesome 3 points ago in PublicFreakout

    🎶Your Ghetto's a Wonderland🎶

    Hi, John, if you are lurking.

    [–] When that girl you jumped shows up at your job... felixjawesome 35 points ago in PublicFreakout

    It was 8:39 p.m. on a balmy Tuesday night. LaTasha was just having a stroll through the neighborhood to catch some fresh air when she decided to stop in the local convenience store for a 99c Arizona Green Tea. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she glanced a familiar face. It took her a moment, but as realization set in, so did her anger. It was the face of the person who had brought her so much pain the past. LaTasha turns to face her antagonist, a hussy by the name of Shaquanka. They lock eyes.

    Before Shaquanka even has a chance to process what is about to happen, let alone to apologize for her past transgressions, LaTasha hastily circumnavigates the kiosk and comes face to face with her enemy for the first time in what felt like ages. The tables have turned and revenge was going to be sweeter than a cherry ICEE on a hot summer's day.

    LaTasha reaches underneath the kiosk and with a quick gesture pulls out a plastic sign, slamming it down on the counter. REGISTER IS CLOSED. It is at that point that Shaquanka knows she fucked up.

    [–] William Barr directs Justice Department official to defy congressional subpoena to testify about 2020 census felixjawesome 118 points ago in politics

    Trump will someone else in just as corrupt.

    Yeah. And then we repeat the process. Draining the swamp one bucket at a time. At some point even the most diehard supporters are going to hesitate about signing up to be his AG.

    [–] 'Unprecedented': UN Finds US-Backed Forces Killed More Afghan Civilians Than Taliban and ISIS Did So Far in 2019 felixjawesome 4 points ago in worldnews

    Formerly Communist governments became Bureaucratic Capitalist societies while Western style governments doubled down on Corporate Capitalism.

    The United States of America is a totalitarian state owned by the 1% who also happen to be the people who have massive influence and control over culture through the mass media (which is why advertiser boycotts are effective). America is a totalitarian state of comfort and convenience where a person's value is linked to their work and their identity formed by what they consume. It's a totalitarianism of thought.

    [–] George W. Bush's top speechwriter is now calling for Trump's impeachment felixjawesome 1 points ago in politics

    Oh, I kind of agree with the president. I don't necessarily think they knew what they signed up for, though. The propaganda machine has fed them nothing but lies in the form of mass-media that glorifies war and soldiers like the countless war movies, tv shows about soldiers, and video games (Every other FPSs features either marines, or space marines. Every popular RTS focuses on military strategy). We are awash in propoganda that obscures the reality of combat, and glorifies murder, so no. I don't think your average citizen understands what all is involved when they enlist.

    But, there is a big difference between me and the President. I'm not the Commander-in-Chief sending Marines to their demise. I'm against war entirely. I understand why it exists, we are apex predators with lizard brains nested in all the "thinky stuff." We are a violent, blood thirsty species...but we also are much more than that.

    My feelings didn't get hurt, that's why I asked someone who served how they thought about the remarks of a draft dodger who seems to have no respect for the people who died for our country.

    [–] Deutsche Bank begins process of providing Trump financial records to New York's attorney general felixjawesome 6 points ago in politics

    I'm really fond of the theory that he lost a lot of his wealth to a Nigerian Prince scam, and doesn't want that information public.

    [–] George W. Bush's top speechwriter is now calling for Trump's impeachment felixjawesome 28 points ago in politics

    They've also sent a lot of Marines to there deaths. W more so than Trump... But hey, "they knew what they signed up for" to quote the President regarding soldiers killed in the line of duty.

    How do you feel about the president's remarks?

    [–] Kid Runs Off With Annoying Preacher Ladies Sign. (Students Cheer) felixjawesome -12 points ago in PublicFreakout

    Freedom of speech does not protect you from freedom of consequences of said speech. Freedom of speech is the government not censoring private citizens. As a private citizen, I have every right to tell you to stfu.

    Snatching the sign is a dick move, but it shut her up.

    Dozens of witnesses, all seem to be on the sign snatchers side. Is she even a student???

    Lady needs mental help.