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    [–] What’s more intimate than sex? grantchart 1 points ago in AskReddit

    After my dad had his last stroke, my mom had to pretty much do everything for him. He was occasionally "there" enough to understand what was going on, but never enough to form words. One time, I saw them looking at each other with such a tender intensity that I had to run out of the room sobbing.

    [–] Went to a girls boarding school had to explain to a group of 30 girls (13-18) how vaginas actually work. grantchart 16 points ago in badwomensanatomy

    I dunno. I mean, if I could smell like fruit that would be kind of cool. Especially if you could somehow tell how I'm feeling by which kind of fruit my crotch smelled like. Blueberry, if I'm a little sad that day. Strawberry, if I'm feeling happy. And if you smell bananas but can't see any nearby, boy you're in for a wild ride.

    Hmmm. This has potential. Maybe a trip to the patent office would be a good idea. Now, what would I call a product like that? I already have a slogan: It's like a mood ring- for your vagina! But it needs a really good name...

    [–] Reporting questions - am I going crazy, missing something obvious or is what I need to do impossible? grantchart 2 points ago in workday

    Remember when the Workday sales team told you "you'll never need to write another line of code!" - and you believed them?

    Yeah, this is what happens when salesmen get hold of executives.

    [–] Workday Independent Contractors VS FTE grantchart 1 points ago in workday

    Imlementation partners don't pay much. Expect to make in the low 80's even if you have one of the more technical skillsets (integrations, studio, advanced reporting). If you have experience with the analytic platform (Prism), bump that up quite a bit, but VERY few implementation partners bother marketing that skillset to their customers.

    Independent downside is that the "ecosystem" thinks you're something they just stepped in. If you're working alongside an implementation partner, expect to be shut out of high-level meetings, left off of email CC lists, uninformed of key decisions, and last in line when it comes to help/resources. Also, you your desk (what am I saying? desk? you should BE so lucky to have a desk) will be next to the mop sink in a janitor's closet and will smell of twenty-year-old rat poison.

    (NOTE: 80k/yr is still MUCH better than most people in the US, so I suppose that's being a little petty)

    [–] Apparently, I should shave my legs grantchart 3 points ago in TwoXChromosomes

    As someone who has a nearly pathological phobia about her own body hair, I applaud you. I can't even go without plucking the hair off my toes.

    [–] The making of my first homemade guitar grantchart 56 points ago in DIY

    Phsst. Amateurs. He didn't even draw the wire himself.

    A real DIYer would have planted the trees, waited 10-20 years for them to mature, mined the copper ore (from Bisbee, AZ obviously. Only newbs would get their copper anywhere else), smelted it in a homemade furnace, rolled and cold-drawn it using a progressively smaller set of dies- that he hand-crafted himself obvs.- until it was precisely 14gauge, shellacked it with a triple-coat of varnish made from female lac bugs he raised from larvae in a handmade terrarium, and then wound it on rare-earth cores.

    I mean, you make some allowance for the provenance of the metals used in the cores. It's not like the governments of the countries where those are mined will let you just waltz in and start digging. But still.

    [–] People hate writing essays for school, yet will willingly write a 10 paragraph long essay with sources to win an argument online. grantchart 1 points ago in Showerthoughts

    People hate writing executive summaries for business reports, yet will craft a tl;dr: of a long post that is so exquisitely succinct that you want to print it out and frame it.

    [–] My dogs Vet has a candle in the waiting room that they light whenever a family is saying goodbye to their pet grantchart 26 points ago in mildlyinteresting

    Ours does this too, but it's with a fresh candle and they give it to you afterward. You don't even notice it at the time, but on the bottom it has a hand-written note pasted on, with the inscription "In memory of [pet's name], the best [dog/cat/whatever] ever." They give it to you in a nice little box as you leave.

    I made it all the way through the goodbyes with our pupper, 'cause that's what you do when you have kids and they need you to be strong. But when I got home and opened the box to set the candle on our fireplace mantle, I saw the note and just lost it. It was a full-on bawling, snot dripping, coughing, cry.

    [–] Into the community. What now ? grantchart 7 points ago in workday

    With your Workday Community account you can do a few things.

    First, there's the Administrators' Guide. It's an online reference manual for Workday. It's also a total piece of shiat. Well, not a total piece of shiat. There's information in there, but getting to it is a nightmare, and it's really more of a list of the input boxes for each task. There's rarely any context or information about the effects that your choices might bring about.

    For example, let's pretend that there's a "Change Employee Hairdo" task that has three inputs, one for length of hair, one for hair color, and one for curliness effective factor identifier (I'm being silly, but this is exactly the sort of thing you see in Workday). The Admin guide would have this in the entry:

    Change Employee Hairdo - Use this task to change an employee's hairdo. You will need to supply the length of hair, the hair color, and the curliness effective factor identifier. There would be no explanation of what a "curliness effective factor identifier" was. The curliness effective factor choices would be limited- but you would have no explanation of why you saw the choices you saw. You would have no information about what changing the employee's hairdo actually does. Do they magically get hair the specified length/color/curliness? Are you supposed to be recording the current length/color/curliness? When will the change take place? Is it effective dated? If it's effective dated, what are the limitations (can't set for future hires? inapplicable to deceased employees?)

    Essentially, the Administators' Guide is a mostly safe alternative for people who cut themselves with razor blades to escape the horrors of modern existence. Read the whole thing sometime, if you feel like.

    Second, there is the forum. This is where people like myself post questions because the Administrators' Guide has no actual answers. There's like one dude who I think is on there 24/7. It's like he got kicked off of Facebook and decided Workday Community is his home now. He answers like half the questions on Integrations. That aside, you can be sure of one thing: either the problem you're having has never been seen by anyone before... or it's been seen by dozens of people, but no one has come up with a solution for it. But rest easy. There are thousands of other customer questions that got answered, none of which is relevant to anything you do, and most of which you kind of suspect aren't even real because you don't recognize ANY of the terms, business objects, fields, tasks, processes, or anything else about them.

    Finally, there are the brainstorms. This is where ideas go to die. Go read a few. That same guy who answers all the integrations questions posted most of the brainstorms too. His employer really needs to examine their internet usage logs, because this guy is spending WAY too much of the time they're paying him for coming up with ways to improve Workday. (By the way, I'm not knocking the guy- his answers on the forums and his ideas on the brainstorms are top-notch. Why Workday doesn't just hire him and make him the CEO is a mystery to me).

    And then there are articles and such. Lots of them are super helpful, like how API call info, how to set up Workday Studio, tips and tricks, and all sorts of other good info. But the indexing is shiat. Like everything else in Workday, you get a stupid search bubble and you better damn well be happy with it. Get comfortable with keyword searches, 'cause that's all you got, Son. The information you need might be in there. Or it might not. Is your search-fu good enough to prise it out from the bowels of indexing hell? (Hint: it's not. No one's is.)

    [–] Extremely disappointed at consulting rates I've been seeing. grantchart 1 points ago in workday

    Weird - Deloitte was the first firm to lowball me. Based on the job spec, they were looking for someone with senior developer street cred and experience, but were only willing to pay what I would consider entry-level pay for an almost full-time travel gig, esp. when you consider the fact that it's a small talent pool with a high demand.

    The bigger the employer, the worse the lowballing was, too.

    Honestly, I'm just disgusted at the whole thing. I have the opportunity to move on to another department, and I think I'm going to take it. The shitty rates I've seen just aren't worth the effort of getting the extra experience under my belt.

    [–] What’s the weirdest/scariest thing you’ve ever seen when at somebody else’s house? grantchart 4 points ago in AskReddit

    Casual nudity. Not like "let's all walk around the house naked" nudity, but just "it's OK if we're not fully clothed 100% of the time" nudity.

    Example: we were going to a gymnastics meet, and my dad was driving. We got to my friend's house, and she wasn't quite ready.

    The laundry was in baskets on the couch prior to distribution to everyone's rooms. My friend (I think we were 13 or 14 at the time) stripped down to just panties and changed into her uniform with me and my dad standing just inside the door.

    My dad talked about that for days. He kept asking my mom if he was going to go to jail because he saw "underage titties."

    I also credit that family for the first time I saw a full-grown man's penis in all its glory. Her dad just walked from his bedroom into the bathroom, naked as a jaybird, took a shower, and then stood there with the door open (so he could ask us about school or something- I don't remember exactly what) while toweling himself off.

    [–] What was the most brutal thing you heard a kid say? grantchart 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Sadly, I was the brutal one. When I was 13 or so, one of the teachers at my school had a heart attack and died. He had been a real asshole (borderline mental abusive, definitely cruel). When they announced it in homeroom, I said something like "I wish I could have been there so I could have laughed at him while he was dying."

    What I didn't know was that his daughter was a student in the school, and it got around to her. I was told later that my thoughtless comment had hurt her badly. That was the first time I said something that I truly regretted but couldn't take back.

    [–] Redditors no longer on speaking terms with their former "best friend for life" due to one incident: what happened? grantchart 190 points ago in AskReddit

    We were the "joined at the hip" girls in jr. high. Always together. Wheedled the school admins to drop/add us so we could have the same class schedule. Paid some kid $20 to trade lockers with one of us so we could have lockers next to each other. Always at each others' houses after school. Crushed on the same boys. Hated the same girls. Listened to the same music.

    And then one night on a sleepover she slid her hand under the waistband of my pajamas and started trying to finger me. I never had a problem with someone being gay, and if she'd told me before that she wanted to experiment along those lines I might have even went along with it. I don't even think she was gay per se- I think it was one of those things where you try something because you're young and unsure of stuff.

    But it was a total surprise. I wasn't even ready for sex with boys. I'd only kissed a few times. So I freaked out and made a big deal of it, and then I fucked up worse than she had: I told other kids at school. Her life was completely fucked. I'm sure you can imagine. I don't think she ever lived it down, even through high school.

    That was the end of our friendship, obviously.

    [–] Which generally appreciated movie/TV show character do you really dislike, and why? grantchart 8 points ago in AskReddit

    And have you ever heard her chew? I mean, when she eats it's like a garbage disposal full of drywall screws.

    [–] Which generally appreciated movie/TV show character do you really dislike, and why? grantchart 17 points ago in AskReddit

    So much this. I got such a pedo vibe from the guy even though Lorelei was 32 (chronologically, I mean- mentally, the woman was 12)

    [–] Which generally appreciated movie/TV show character do you really dislike, and why? grantchart 6 points ago in AskReddit

    It's a "modern take on a fairy tale," so in general I just go with it. But practically every character on the show is annoying in his/her own special way. Hook is... entertaining, though.

    [–] Which generally appreciated movie/TV show character do you really dislike, and why? grantchart 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Lorelei Gilmore, fils. I'm a staunch Star Hollowian, but damn it if that woman doesn't piss me off every damn episode. She's self-centered, a tease, more judgemental than her own parents, smarmy, emotionally stunted, unobservant, selfish... the list goes on. She acts like being pretty is all she needs to get though in life, and she's passed that attitude on to her daughter.

    Honestly. The only reason I watch that show is so that I can enjoy the urge to smack that woman with a bag of decaf.

    [–] TIFU (shoulda just left my neighbor alone) grantchart 2 points ago in tifu

    I love how so many people did a rewrite of this story.