itspeterj

Thanks for taking a look guys! If you want to see this joke in action check it out here!

Before the year is over, I'm hoping to get to 2k followers on Twitter so I'd love if you can give me a follow

Thank you!

You're the best

I'm fat but I'm relatively in shape. Especially at the time I was training bjj 4-6 times a week.

It must have been some other group or the gym itself doing a biggest loser themed challenge or class. All I know for sure was what I said and that there were cameras filming everybody running around.

I don't have anything to gain by making shit up, especially things this embarrassing. If people want to find my comedy, they can do it through my history - I took the link down here, but I'm not making any of this up.

Yes.

It was a real come to jesus moment. That said, I didn't see any truly FAT people in Ireland. Beer bellies? Definitely, but bingo wings? Not a one.

I've been looking for a while and never found any yet. I'll keep you posted if I do though!

I did. A few people said they hated the clickbait title so I went for something less sensational and added a little context.

The worst(best?) part of the whole thing is that I was on vacation with my wife and her family, so I came home and everyone was like "how was the class?" but I didn't really want to explain that I'd accidentally become Ireland's fattest inspiration and get judged by my wife's parents, so I just said "oh, it wasn't what I expected."

https://youtu.be/dGLLim1NseY

About 2 years ago, I was visiting Dublin for a few days and decided to take a jiujitsu class at Straight Blast Gym (where Conor McGregor trains).   This was at the apex of Conor’s popularity, and he was getting ready for a fight, so I thought I might get to see him, but at the very least, I’d get a good class in.

I show up for an early morning no gi class and it is PACKED.  They tell me to head to the mats in the back, so I start stretching to get ready, and someone tells me I need to go weigh in.  I think it’s a bit odd, but maybe they want to pair people up by size for sparring, which doesn’t seem crazy to me.  I notice most people are just wearing shorts and t-shirts, but I don’t think too much of that either.

Suddenly, a camera crew comes in.  I get really excited because I think it means Conor is coming in, but it’s just as likely that the gym is filming a commercial or a documentary or something up ahead of his big fight. A few minutes later, a tiny Irish woman comes out and tells us to start running in circles.  She screams at us to do pushups, then to run again, then to do crunches, then running, and it just keeps going. A lot of jiu jitsu classes warm up this way, so I’m not thinking too much of it, but I am kind of impressed by how mean she is . 10 Minutes pass, then 20.  Holy shit, this gym is the real deal!

I’m exhausted but I am really excited to be in this class so I keep going. I’m clearly the fattest person here, and the Irish woman starts focusing on me exclusively.

“You shouldn’t be here! Why don’t you quit!?  I can’t believe you’re still going!” She keeps going on and on “You don’t belong here!” and it’s kind of starting to hurt, but now I can’t quit. Eventually, we stop running and are doing pushups and she walks over to me and says “what are you trying to get from this?”

I say “I want to get better at my guard” and her face DROPS.  She looks at me and says “Jiu-Jitsu is on mat 3, love.  We’re filming 'The Biggest Loser' on this one. Good work though.”  

So, that was the story of my international television debut.   I don’t know if I ever made the cut, but there’s probably at least some video of me running around the gym getting screamed at.

TL:DR - I tried to to a jiu-jitsu class and accidentally became Ireland's Biggest Loser.

I think I'd keep it because it's hilarious.

It was a real come to jesus moment. If I wasn't just there on vacation maybe I'd have asked to stick it out.

Hahahaha! I'm only 35. I might be too young for him to fight

Thank you! I didn't want to lie but I wanted to make it compelling! I hope you don't feel duped!

It's always great when something is literally and figuratively the worst.

Thanks for taking a look guys! I love getting to tell stories of my many failures throughout my life and I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy telling them!

I'm a comic and if you'd like to get more of my true stories, feel free to follow me on Twitter or check out my stand up here!

I mean, I did try to. I just failed horrifically! Apparently he came in about 15 minutes after I left.

You guys are getting paid?!

Thank you!

Dude can't even act, how's he going to teleport?

I'm going to echo that you need to have an idea as to what you want to do, or equally important- what you DON'T want to do.

I am working in cybersecurity now and I absolutely love it. I'll share how I got here with very little army experience(infantryman).

I used my GI Bill, but I think my degree was less helpful than other aspects.

I got a bachelor's in computer science/ information security which helped a lot with security related knowledge and networking, but equally importantly, using the GI Bill let me do internships for Low/No pay. My internships are where I actually learned the important things you do on day to day jobs (active directory, github/ etc.)

Doing internships let me graduate with 2 years of work experience which made getting interviews MUCH easier.

Honestly, getting the first job is the hardest. I got mine as an IT consultant which meant I did a little of everything and it helped out immensely in terms of practical knowledge and discovering interests. From there, I was able to apply to a security job about 6 months in and haven't looked back since!

Good luck!

Are you eligible for the gi bill? A few years of full time college could help with job prospects AND give you bah that is an enormous help.