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    [–] Struggling with BPD girlfriend joefus1o4 1 points ago in BPDlovedones

    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that. I feel very fortunate that I'm not married to this person. This is such a difficult thing to watch. You can see all the good in them. You can see how much they hate the way they are, but it's never enough. They fall victim to the same traps over and over. It's so hard to watch, and even harder to tolerate. I think I'm fairly lucky with my person (as lucky as these things can go). She seems to be much more self aware of her issues than most I've read about. Honestly most of the other issues that accompany being with someone with bpd have aren't that bad for us. Most of the time she's very sweet and loving. She's definitely grown a lot and gotten much better. The sex issue is the one she seems to have no ability to correct however. It's a big one unfortunately.

    [–] Struggling with BPD girlfriend joefus1o4 1 points ago in BPDlovedones

    I appreciate your point of view. I can't manage dealing with this for 29 years. I can see how it looks like I'm in denial. I don't believe I am. I'm fully aware of how I'm addicted to her. For a long time I've felt like I need her. I however, am working tooth and nail to be happy without needing her. It's not happening fast, but I do feel like I'm making progress. I'm prepared to leave if that's what has to be done. However, when I say this person is my best friend, I'm not exaggerating. She means a lot to me. BPD or not. So if there is a way to deal with this that doesn't involve losing someone very close and special to me, I feel it's worth checking out. Most people don't think anything can be done. So that's not really inspiring or surprising for that matter. Sadly I think leaving might be what it comes down to.

    [–] Struggling with BPD girlfriend joefus1o4 1 points ago in BPDlovedones

    It is very taxing. I’ve been on a long journey throughout this relationship to let go of my jealousy. I think that’s a good thing. The idea of her having sex with someone else doesn’t crush my soul anymore, but the fact that she lies about it and does it in spite of what we’re working towards is very upsetting.

    [–] Struggling with BPD girlfriend joefus1o4 1 points ago in BPDlovedones

    We’ve talked about opening up our relationship. She’s completely on board. She’s never held any real jealousy over me. She wants me to sleep with other people. I think partially because it’ll excuse her behavior, and partly because she feels guilty that she doesn’t sleep with me.

    I however, and not really there yet. I think that it could help our relationship and expand my experience in life. However, we haven’t set those boundaries. I’ve made it pretty clear that if opening our relationship is the key, we need to do it carefully and under the guidance of our therapist. She agrees, but then she goes behind my back and starts dancing on the line again.

    Also, I’m not entirely sure an open relationship is going to be helpful for her. This is an addiction for her. It’s a problem. I’m not sure indulging in an addiction will solve the fact that she is very broken in this way.

    [–] Incel's criteria for a woman he would date joefus1o4 12 points ago in ChoosingBeggars

    Hey guys, at least he’s reasonable enough to take an above average face too.

    [–] Ghostsoundz -- Being Ghosted [Acoustic] (2018) joefus1o4 9 points ago in listentothis

    I think this girl has a really pretty voice and rich tone. Regardless of the style she's singing in, she obviously has a good voice. I liked it. If other people don't like it then that's their opinion and they're entitled to it, but we don't need to be hurtful to a stranger because of it.

    Keep doing you sad British girl. I liked your song, I enjoyed the melody, the uke, and your voice. I liked the simplicity as well.

    [–] RIP Anthony Bourdain - My favorite video of his all time; Waffle House. joefus1o4 2 points ago in videos

    A lot of it may be out of reach for sure. However, counseling and therapy isn't always insanely expensive. I myself have gone, and I'm in no way have it financially made. I think most people don't believe therapy or counseling can help them. Some even carry that mindset into therapy. They don't allow people to help them. It's not a conscious effort, it's more of a self defense mechanism. People don't want to be exposed. Also, sometimes when you are depressed for a long time it becomes almost comfortable. Your brain carves pathways from patterns of behavior. I believe people sometimes struggle just to give up their depression.

    I think sometimes we forget that celebrities are real people just like us. They have the same hang ups, and the same struggles.

    The main point is, mental health is badly misunderstood. There are lots of reasons and factors that go into something like this. It's not something you can really explain or put into black and white terms. It's also not something you can accurately use as a comparison. It's a very difficult thing, and it's very sad that people aren't aware of the help that exists for them.

    [–] RIP Anthony Bourdain - My favorite video of his all time; Waffle House. joefus1o4 2 points ago in videos

    A lot of it may be out of reach for sure. However, counseling and therapy isn't always insanely expensive. I myself have gone, and I'm in no way have it financially made. I think most people don't believe therapy or counseling can help them. Some even carry that mindset into therapy. They don't allow people to help them. It's not a conscious effort, it's more of a self defense mechanism. People don't want to be exposed. Also, sometimes when you are depressed for a long time it becomes almost comfortable. Your brain carves pathways from patterns of behavior. I believe people sometimes struggle just to give up their depression.

    I think sometimes we forget that celebrities are real people just like us. They have the same hang ups, and the same struggles.

    The main point is, mental health is badly misunderstood. There are lots of reasons and factors that go into something like this. It's not something you can really explain or put into black and white terms. It's also not something you can accurately use as a comparison. It's a very difficult thing, and it's very sad that people aren't aware of the help that exists for them.

    [–] RIP Anthony Bourdain - My favorite video of his all time; Waffle House. joefus1o4 4 points ago in videos

    Happiness doesn't correlate with us getting what we want. It can help for sure, but studies would suggest that people who struggle are typically happier than people who don't. The rise of depression seems to be linked to the evaporation of community. People are alone, especially people at the top. People who feel like on paper they have everything they need to be happy, but they still aren't. They often feel like clearly there isn't a solution for them. The problem is we believe the wrong things make us happy. Then when we get those things, and they fail to solve our problem, we feel like the issue is unfixable and give into our depression.

    [–] RIP Anthony Bourdain - My favorite video of his all time; Waffle House. joefus1o4 1 points ago in videos

    Incredibly sad. This was on of my fav clips too. I've been to this exact Waffle House on many a drunken night. In fact my girlfriend is in the background of this video. Feels weird to watch now that he's gone.

    [–] Email Designers - Zurb Foundations or MJML? joefus1o4 1 points ago in webdev

    Rendering in outlook is exactly where most of my problems have been. The learning curve for Foundation was also fairly involved. MJML being an easier transition is certainly a relief.

    [–] Email Designers - Zurb Foundations or MJML? joefus1o4 1 points ago in webdev

    Sounds like you've definitely had plenty of experience with it. I'd expect a bit of a learning curve with a new framework. There certainly was one with Foundation.

    [–] Outlook Breaking Email Foundation for Emails joefus1o4 1 points ago in webdev

    I'm guessing I can't move my foundation files into MJML since I've got everything in inky at this point.

    Might be nice for the future.

    [–] Outlook Breaking Email Foundation for Emails joefus1o4 1 points ago in webdev

    I'm guessing this is a frequent issue with compilers. I will definitely look into this.

    [–] Outlook Breaking Email Foundation for Emails joefus1o4 1 points ago in webdev

    Using word in the render engine is definitely where everything goes wrong. I just don't know what to do about fixing that, especially when it looks great in everything else I need it for.

    At this point I've debugged enough where it seems like the major problem is the body goes full width instead of maintaining a width of 596px. This obviously makes things look pretty wonky.

    [–] Outlook Breaking Email Foundation for Emails joefus1o4 2 points ago in webdev

    At least lotus 7 is so universally hated that most clients don't even care if an email works on it (which it never will). They all still want the fucking garbage fire that is microsoft outlook to work though.

    [–] Keto and hiking safely? joefus1o4 1 points ago in keto

    My marine friend was saying it happens when his recruits over hydrate. Which is also what I did on this hike. It was heavily stressed that you drink a lot of water at that altitude. I think I over did it. I believe that combined with keto pushed me into hyponatremia.

    [–] Keto and hiking safely? joefus1o4 2 points ago in keto

    I'm always worried about supplementing with potassium. I've heard it's easy to over do it.

    I have shifted my diet to include more electrolyte dense foods though. I eat lots of avocados, and daily drink bone broth with bullion. Magnesium is really the only thing i regularly supplement.

    [–] This unsubscribe link joefus1o4 1 points ago in assholedesign

    From a web dev standpoint, this actually makes a lot of sense to me. Some frameworks automatically include an area for unsubscribe in their footers. It's usually up to the developer to link to it or not. However, email service providers also include an unsubscribe in the frame outside of the email. So with that provided, the developer probably forgot to remove the unsubscribe text from the footer. Or they didn't realize it wasn't necessary, and designed a responsive footer including that text. Then they decided to leave it, inside of redesigning the responsiveness.

    [–] One of my fav Jim-Michael moments joefus1o4 5 points ago in DunderMifflin

    I literally watched this episode a couple hours ago. That's pretty crazy. That episode makes me feel all sentimental, and here it is solidifying those feelings on Reddit.

    I know it's not everyone's opinion, but it's hard for me to watch the show after he left. I mean I've seen it all before, but I don't include it in my continuous loop of it. I usually restart after that episode.