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    [–] Hello. Autogynephilic person here. I found this subreddit recently and I wanna talk to some people here. malevitch_square 1 points ago in itsafetish

    Seek therapy to learn coping mechanisms that alleviate dysphoric symptoms without hormones or permanently altering your body through surgery. My heart breaks for every ex-Tim that regrets transitioning and losing their penis. Live as feminine as you want. Be your authentic self. Accept and love yourself as a feminine man. Because it should not be an issue. And showing the world that can lead to social changes that help both women and men. Gender stereotypes and roles hurt us all.

    I have body dysphoria (just not gender related) so I know how painful it is to look in the mirror and not see yourself. I've spent years working on myself mentally and emotionally to get to a place of self love and acceptance. I could have fixed my problem with surgery, but I chose the harder route because that route solved the root issue: my mental disorder.

    [–] Hello. Autogynephilic person here. I found this subreddit recently and I wanna talk to some people here. malevitch_square 3 points ago in itsafetish

    There are many. All you have to do is actually research. Even Google will spit out tons of reputable articles and books if you just type in a search. And there are as many that argue against that. A gendered world will produce a gendered brain. Scientists are human and hold their own biases, including sexism. The history of sex-difference research is rife with innumeracy, misinterpretation, publication bias, weak statistical power, inadequate controls and more.

    [–] Hello. Autogynephilic person here. I found this subreddit recently and I wanna talk to some people here. malevitch_square 3 points ago in itsafetish

    They wouldn't, because masculinity and femininity is not innate, it is socialization. If they were put in a vacuum they'd probably act like animals and create their own rules.

    [–] Hello. Autogynephilic person here. I found this subreddit recently and I wanna talk to some people here. malevitch_square 6 points ago in itsafetish

    To think "women think this way, men think that way" or "women's brains work this way, men's brains work that way" is so limited and it's why we are in this mess of identity politics. Personalities vary to a degree that is immeasurable. There are masculine women as well as feminine men and everything in between. The problem lies with gender, not sex, as gender is a social construct. What it means to be and perform femininity across the world varies from culture to culture, therefore it is not innate. It is a social performance. We need to move from these strict gender stereotypes and welcome masculine women and feminine men. Not permanently alter people's bodies with surgery and hormones to solve a mental issue, when the real problem is the way society polices how people are able to present themselves in public. I am all for a man in a dress, he just isn't a woman. I can't opt out of my biology, and you can't opt in.

    [–] Hello. Autogynephilic person here. I found this subreddit recently and I wanna talk to some people here. malevitch_square 14 points ago in itsafetish

    You hear women say all the time that they have trouble making friends with other women. Just because you make friends with them easier doesn't mean anything. There is no such thing as a lady brain. Ideas like that have been used FOREVER to justify female oppression: we're less intelligent, more emotional, hysterical, etc.

    [–] Are my(18M) friends bad people?(18,18,19) malevitch_square 4 points ago in relationship_advice

    Are my friend's bad people?


    Why do they treat this girl like this?

    Misogyny, male entitlement to female bodies, sexual double standards, etc.

    Why do they hate her so much?

    Ask them. Ask them these questions.

    Also, you are the company you keep. So unless you want people to think you are a bad person, unless you want to BE a bad person, stop being friends with the psychotic assholes. If you don't call them out on this bullshit then you are enabling it and supporting it.

    [–] Should I still be friends with my ex-best friend after he sexually assaulted me & apologized for it? malevitch_square 1 points ago * (lasted edited a day ago) in Advice

    texted the same thing he always did when he needed to talk

    Key phrase: "when HE needed to talk".

    he told me he was sorry for what he did and would understand if I didn't forgive him and that he was still regretful he did it

    Okay. Good start.

    then he also told me he had been avoiding me at events we both went to because he still had a crush on me and was afraid of what I'd say to him

    What the fuck? His main concern is saving face because he can't face you after what he did? And not because he's ashamed or deeply regretful, only because he "still has a crush on you". How are you not seeing right through these manipulation tactics? How are you not seeing his true motives?

    He then told me that I was the first person who showed him I actually cared about him and told him he wasn't worthless and a waste of space and was the first person to really show him what it's like to be loved.

    See? Selfish. It's all about him. How you make HIM feel. How you treat HIM. He's not contacting you now after all this time because he values you for you. He's contacting you now because he's not doing well and remembers that you were a source of comfort. Again, it's all about him and what you can do for him.

    He then went on to explain that he did it because he was upset that I hadn't gone to an important event of his like his graduation or something

    Um. Excuse me? So is he sorry or not? Because this sounds like he's trying to justify his disgusting behavior and place blame on you for HIM assaulting you. WTF. That is psychotic. That's NOT an apology.

    he said he wanted to also get back at me.

    Psychotic and vengeful. He pinned you down and forced himself on you after you SAID NO and PUSHED him off of you. He did it on purpose. He does not regret it. He's blaming you. This person has zero concern for your best interests. And this insane, violent, illegal behavior he's justifying? Over some real petty shit. I mean come on. If this was punishment how does the punishment fit the crime? Because you said something that hurt his feelings? Poor baby can't handle it so he decided you needed to be raped?

    And what did you say to all of this bullshit? Where is your backbone my woman?

    we talked a bit more about his problems

    Him. Him. Him. Did he ask about you and how you are doing and talk about YOUR problems?

    he asked if we could still be friends

    Do I really need to say it?

    [–] boyfriend (M, 20) has a wondering eye and stares down every attractive female near and talks about it frequently and it makes me(F, 24) uncomfortable- am I over reacting? malevitch_square 8 points ago in relationship_advice

    He knows it hurts me, yet he still blatantly does it regardless of how he knows it makes me feel.

    AND he openly tells you that he compares you to these other women? This is not a matter of him "being comfortable". You have expressed yourself clearly and consistently and he does not give a shit. You're worried about not being enough for him, when you should be worried about the facts that he has no respect for you and does not care about your feelings. He will not change without consequences.

    [–] My [33m] wife [32f] keeps threatening to have an abortion everytime we have an argument. malevitch_square 8 points ago in relationship_advice

    What she is doing is emotionally abusive and not okay in the slightest.

    Remember that she is pregnant and her hormones are out of control. That doesn't excuse ANYTHING, just offering an explanation.

    What kind of arguments are you having where she lashes out like this? I'm curious about the content of these arguments.

    she is the mother so naturally much of the burden will fall on her

    This is a really shitty way to think. And it's not fair. You are both the child's parents. If my husband assumed I would take on most of the burden simply because I am the mother I would not have a kid with him. I want an equal partner. Honestly, if she wasn't sure she even wanted this baby and you're saying things that confirm that she is going to assume most of the labor, I'd be pissed too and I'd want out.

    [–] AITA for being annoyed with my bf over dinner? malevitch_square 1 points ago in AmItheAsshole

    There was literally no cheese left and in the OP she clearly states what it would take to re-make the dish with the leftovers. This isn't "she just needs to sprinkle some cheese".

    [–] If you have one cat and you're wondering if you should get a second one, the answer is yes! Just look at these two fluffy besties. malevitch_square 2 points ago in cats

    Totally agree. Especially when you leave during the day they need a buddy. We got one cat, then two weeks later another. The second cat was not having it and is a lone wolf, so we got a third and now she and the first cat are buddies so it all worked out. Lone wolf is my husband's cat through and through.

    [–] Should I still be friends with my ex-best friend after he sexually assaulted me & apologized for it? malevitch_square 3 points ago in Advice

    Fuck no. He pinned you down after you tried pushing him off you. Psycho rapist fuck.

    How exactly did he apologize? Cuz i guarantee he's looking to worm himself back in only to try to get with you again. He is no friend. He should be deeply ashamed, in therapy, and leaving you the fuck alone.

    [–] Housebound homemaker malevitch_square 3 points ago in relationship_advice

    I'm sure your partner understands your limitations. Just the fact that you try to do as much as you can shows that you are a good partner to him. If you can't complete all the tasks you want to in a day, that's alright. Don't push yourself too much because your health is more important.

    Is there any room in the budget for services like a maid to help with the cleaning and/or cooking?

    [–] I (32) have been in a fight with my GF(25) for the past week that might lead to a breakup and I need some unbiased opinions malevitch_square 2 points ago in relationship_advice

    You both need to let go of your need to be right in this fight. That's why you guys haven't been able to make up. You want her to apologize for her part, but she doesn't think she did anything wrong, so she has a wall up. You have apologized for overreacting but she thinks it's not a real apology because you are also voicing your own issues and insecurities. You should be able to do that even when you have also done something wrong. It's not all or nothing. I agree she was being insensitive with her tweet. It was incredibly obtuse of her to post that especially with you sleeping right next to her. The snap idk - it's a she said/she said in terms of whether or not you communicated how you felt about someone else cutting her hair prior (particularly those men). I think it's a weird thing to be insecure about and a bit controlling if you yourself are getting your hair cut by other people. But you have already acknowledged that.

    If your gf is depressed, she probably doesn't have a healthy emotional bandwidth. That would explain her insensitivity, her self-absorption in terms of her tweets. That tweet was a cry for help even if it was insensitive and immature. Her jumping to let's just break up" in one of her last texts to you is very telling about how tired she is emotionally. You're there as well.

    I think you just need to really think about whether or not you want to continue to work on her communication skills with her. I do agree she is a shit communicator, especially with the late replies (or no replies at all) and then just ghosting and messaging way later to "check up on you." Like, of course you're not okay. You were left on read for hours or days after expressing some really important shit.

    Communication is so important and yet most couples struggle with it. The only way this is going to get better is if she recognizes her communication style as problematic so that she can work on it. If she's still asking for "time" I don't think she's going to come to that conclusion, though.