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    [–] I did it guys! I finally found the original Werecar. mattreyu 3 points ago in futurama

    Nah, they were just bitten by the original werecar, that's project satan

    [–] Walt Disney’s Frozen mattreyu 1 points ago in pics

    Let it go

    [–] Weird day. mattreyu 7 points ago in AdviceAnimals

    From everything I've ever heard (my wife has FBI in her family) they sometimes will call you but will always provide their name and ID # and will often suggest you call the FBI office directly and ask for them to confirm their legitimacy

    [–] Tumblrina tells ethnic minorities how they "should" react to racial jokes. mattreyu 1 points ago in TumblrInAction

    That's gotta be a troll. I mean:

    So I was on the bus today, and some arsewipe had the nerve to come up and ask me out because he was “lonely” and “wanted someone to spend time with him”. Well, too bad, you imbecile! If you weren’t so annoying around women, maybe you would have some friends!!! I told him in no uncertain terms to buzz off and he actually looked sad. He thought he had the right to be SAD. He wasn’t the one being oppressed for his color or gender! He doesn’t know what it’s like! He’s a terrible person for being white AND male! Then he did something absolutely heinous.





    He asked me out TWICE. THAT’S SEXUAL ASSAULT.

    So I had no choice but to call 911 on this creep, and get this? The dispatcher said they couldn’t do anything, and that this line was “for emergencies only”!

    THIS BOILS MY BLOOD! This is just another example of how THE ENTIRE WORLD IS A MALE-DOMINATED POWER STRUCTURE, even to the point where the FEMALE dispatcher was an INTERNALIZED MISOGYNIST BEAST.

    [–] FBI Seizes Control of Russian Botnet mattreyu 19 points ago in worldnews

    That's not what botnets are for

    [–] TIL the worlds most littered product is the cigarette butt, with approximately 4.5 Trillion being tossed each year. mattreyu 87 points ago in todayilearned

    I hear smokers say stuff like "what am I supposed to do with it? I don't want to carry it around or keep it in my car!"

    No shit, but if you don't want it, why subject the rest of us to it instead?

    [–] The type of thing you can find in a public bathroom... I hate working retail. mattreyu 1 points ago in WTF

    Okay okay, you think it's funny, but nobody else does! They gotta walk in that bathroom and see your rancid dook propped up against the back of the urinal like a brown rag doll! 

    [–] Modern Icarus mattreyu 16 points ago in funny

    plot twist: that's his mom

    [–] Does fingering a girl count as sex? Why or why not? mattreyu 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Does sitting in the stands count as playing ball?

    [–] We've all been there mattreyu 4 points ago in funny

    waitress: "have a nice meal!"

    idiot: "you too"

    [–] What's the dumbest "game" you or your friends ever made/played? mattreyu 1 points ago in AskReddit

    there was one involving throwing one of those giant yoga balls down a narrow stairwell and the person at the bottom would do their best to hit it back up without getting knocked the fuck out by rebounds