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    ne0nnightmare

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    [–] What question did you post on askreddit that you still want answers to because it got barely any responses? ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Do we get to pick the dog/cat or is it a random draw from the species? Big ol’ wolf legs would be fuckin’ sweet but chihuahua legs not so much.

    [–] What question did you post on askreddit that you still want answers to because it got barely any responses? ne0nnightmare 76 points ago in AskReddit

    Homer Simpson had it pretty sweet. He fucks about at an easy job and yet always has enough to pay the bills, has a nice house, and Marge is a babe. He’s even travelled the world. I’d swap with him.

    [–] What question did you post on askreddit that you still want answers to because it got barely any responses? ne0nnightmare 129 points ago in AskReddit

    Not a comedian, but a wrestler at an amateur wrestling promotion we go to came out wearing white shorts with a red stripe down the crotch. During a lull in crowd volume I shouted “he’s on his period!” The crowd lost it, the ref lost it, the wrestlers lost it, the match stopped while they composed themselves, the guy I heckled gave me a high five, and never wore those shorts again. Dumb, but everyone had a good time :)

    [–] A lamp genie has given you two choices. 1) Take a million dollars right now or 2) receive $100 every time you masturbate from now on. Which do you choose and why? ne0nnightmare 1 points ago in AskReddit

    I’ve read all the arguments put forward and the lump sum is obviously the sensible option. Buuuut I’d only need to tug out 10 a month to pay the mortgage and bills, and that seems like a fun way to conduct one’s affairs so I’m gonna roll with that.

    [–] What are some of your "It's truly an amazing time to be alive" moments? ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Apple Pay. Ordered a round at the bar, realised I’d forgotten my wallet, paid with my phone, blew my mind.

    [–] How do Non-Americans view the situation with School Shootings in America? ne0nnightmare 3 points ago in AskReddit

    It’s fucked up, man. And the fact that a whole mess of you can’t see the greater good in getting rid of guns (or severely restricting them) is even more fucked up. You’re meant to be the coolest nation in the world but you’re coming off like a bunch of dicks.

    [–] What makes someone a good neighbor? ne0nnightmare 26 points ago in AskReddit

    We moved from next door to a shrieking drug addled cunt of a woman to a neighbourhood of mostly retired professionals. They’re all quiet, friendly, helpful, and mind their own business. It’s amazing.

    Also: day we got the keys we found the reason our house was a steal was because the last owner got arrested for downloading child porn and had to leave quickly. We’re now the nice(r) neighbours by default.

    [–] What level of nudity was accepted in the home where you grew up? ne0nnightmare 1 points ago in AskRedditAfterDark

    Growing up it was me (m), my little bro, Dad, and Mum, in a tiny house with one toilet/bathroom. School mornings would be one male on the toilet, one in the bath, and one using the sink, all at the same time. We all walked around in our boxers in the mornings/before bed, and there was often occasional nudity as we moved from bathroom to bedroom, etc. No biggie. Nobody cared.

    My Mum wasn’t worried about being naked in front of us until we hit our early teens, mainly just ‘cos she figured teen boys don’t want to see their Mum naked.

    At home with my wife and toddler now there’s no problems with nudity. I am teaching my daughter it’s not nice to barge in and stare at daddy while he’s using the toilet, though.

    We’re not nudists but we’re family so who cares, right?

    [–] This project in Baghdad, Iraq. Hell or not Hell? ne0nnightmare 5 points ago in UrbanHell

    Trees also help cool the air underneath them, so it’s more pleasant for pedestrians. That place looks oppressively hot and it makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

    [–] When I don't know how to answer, or I don't feel like entertaining her questions, I like to whisper to my 3 year old "It's a secret!" and she gets all excited and stops asking. What are some other 'unethical' dad tips you've come up with? ne0nnightmare 1 points ago in daddit

    Take toddlers to the pub in the afternoon, just before nap time. The walk there wears them out, crisps and apple juice keep them quiet, and the gentle hubbub will often lull them to sleep (set them up in the pram beforehand so you don’t have to move them). It’s the only way I get to have a quiet pint anymore!

    [–] Best baby carrier for dads? ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in daddit

    We had several but this one was my favourite: http://www.connectacarrier.co.uk

    Simple, easy to use, comfortable for all involved, and the plain coloured ones don’t look too stupid. I carried her on hikes, around beer festivals, or even just at home so I had free hands to do stuff.

    [–] Son slept 10.5 hours last night. Best sleep of my life! ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in daddit

    My daughter is almost 3 and has slept through maybe twice in her whole life. I’m tired all the time. My wife is tired all the time. We don’t remember what being well rested is like.

    [–] DS doesn't want to sleep and it's driving us crazy ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in NewParents

    Get a cosleeping cot. They have one side that comes away so it can sit next to the bed and be a little baby mattress extension. We had one and my wife could pop a boob out to feed without having to even move, but without worrying about squishing the baby. Was the only way she could get any sleep.

    [–] A Japanese rail company has apologised after a train left a station 25 seconds early, the second such case in months. ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in news

    We got a train out of Tokyo just after rush hour one day. We missed the pushing, but it was still cramped enough that I could legit lift my feet and not fall down. Hate to think what full rush hour is like.

    [–] A Japanese rail company has apologised after a train left a station 25 seconds early, the second such case in months. ne0nnightmare 635 points ago in news

    We went to Japan on holiday. Couldn’t read the train announcements so just went to the platform displaying the same departure time as our train. Did this for two whole weeks. Never once got on the wrong train. The Japanese are GOOD at trains.

    [–] What's a bad trait of yours you're aware of, but can't seem to change? ne0nnightmare 1 points ago in AskReddit

    Oof. Going down the list realising I have a lot of bad traits. How do I even have friends?

    [–] What's a bad trait of yours you're aware of, but can't seem to change? ne0nnightmare 2 points ago in AskReddit

    Oh man I’m the same. If they can’t pay attention they don’t deserve to learn!

    [–] What is a tradition that your family does that you found out was not normal? ne0nnightmare 115 points ago in AskReddit

    My family have absolutely zero traditions. Not one. Now I’m older I realise it’s because my parents and grandparents are very dull people. I’m starting new family traditions with my wife and daughter that we can look forward to.

    [–] 13 tourist traps around the world that are actually worth visiting ne0nnightmare 1 points ago in buzzfeedbot

    Stonehenge is absolutely not worth the visit. You can see the entire thing from outside the boundary fence, for free.