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    pheliam

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    [–] RateMyAudio July, 2018 - Monthly mastering discussion pheliam 1 points ago in RateMyAudio

    Reading through this puppy right now. https://www.soundonsound.com/techniques/gain-staging-your-daw-software

    I've been producing DAW music (and jamming DAWless) for a couple years now, and this article is bringing to light some very basic, very important info.

    [–] Do you always tell your SO where you're going? pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Yeah, this screams "anxious insecurity" to me. A healthy dose of anxiety can be normal, and even expected.

    I'm nearly through divorcing my wife who got SUPER PISSED after I hung out with my guy friends one night and didn't tell her where I was. This was maybe 6 weeks into our relationship, some 10 years ago.

    I didn't know it was such a red flag. Nor did I know how to make it into more of a teachable, expectation-setting moment.

    [–] Uselessness of decibel meters and stupidity of the bar next door pheliam 1 points ago in livesound

    Or just blare some filtered white or pink noise out of the mains to force people to converse louder.

    [–] Wtf just happened? pheliam 7 points ago in datingoverthirty

    This is a real asshole revealing himself at the worst, most intimate moment. It's really REALLY shitty and I feel awful for you.

    HOWEVER, your positivity is inspiring! You're already thinking of ways to untangle this ball of stress! What did you mean by lancing? My brain goes to knights on horseback.... it's kind of a hilarious mental image.

    [–] Just bought this for $300!!!!!!!! pheliam 3 points ago in synthesizers

    Downvoted because of jealousy.

    [–] Thats it, I'm done worrying about climate catastrophe. We are NOT going to address this crisis, pure and simple. We are now headed for an apocalypse and there is really nothing to be done about it. pheliam 2 points ago in environment

    Fitter Happier describes a doorstep dystopia that's all too real now. Blech.

    There's a fair amount of pop songs whose lyrics are very political. Pumped Up Kicks comes to mind. "This Is America" also, obviously. But even with "pop music", there's a sense of respect towards the song that at times tricks the listener into feeling accomplished just for being woke. And that's arguably... not good.

    Yes, it's better to be woke, but without action, you're an apathetic bystander, a thoughts/prayers vigil-goer, a skin cream around a gunshot wound. Who needs a drink?

    [–] Thats it, I'm done worrying about climate catastrophe. We are NOT going to address this crisis, pure and simple. We are now headed for an apocalypse and there is really nothing to be done about it. pheliam 9 points ago in environment

    You haven't witnessed enough modern art, then. There are beauty pieces but a TON of political pieces.

    You won't find these in museums and you won't hear these on Spotify / Apple Music (payola models).

    Idioteque by Radiohead was a warning, and the album it's from (Kid A) was rooted in Naomi Klein's book No Logo.

    Some do care, in fact most do, but corps are great at making you feel accomplished by signing petitions, buying premium produce, or even participating in 1-day marches. And the goalposts keep moving.

    [–] We just watched a U.S. president acting on behalf of a hostile power pheliam 7 points ago in politics

    He signed that sanctions bill against Russia! (That he didn't enforce despite it being... law).

    [–] Scorching Heat Wave Penetrates Deep Inside the Arctic Circle Many Locations Hit 30°C (86°F) Giving Rise to Unusual Thunderstorm Activity Far North pheliam 45 points ago in collapse

    I wonder if a scenario has been researched to calculate CO2 levels based on a "worst case where all major car manufacturers have used defeat devices to cheat emissions" on a nationwide, regional, and global scale. Or even HALF of all major car manufacturers.

    What does that do to this fast-approach 1.5-degree Celsius mark that we're racing towards? Today's denial is tomorrow's famine.

    [–] Why love-bombing? pheliam 5 points ago in datingoverthirty

    This is so rough to hear. But the cynic in me understands why women put up that thick barrier. Sorry you had to go through this emotional meat grinder. :(

    There's an off-chance that this was a jealous ex who lost her shit and posted old photos to FB to smear him, but that's dwarfed by the more immediate cheating concern that he needs to own up to. Would not blame you in the slightest if you've dropped him like a bag of hot garbage.

    [–] Men complaining that they can't meet any women, have you tried dating women your own age? pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Use of the phrase "joie de vive" is extremely attractive to me. Commanding use of the English language, wry sarcasm, and a sense of humor far outweigh an age gap in my book!

    This is what I read these threads for!

    [–] Is this sleezy pheliam 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Hotels have rooms and want to have guests spend money. OP can use booking stuff like this to grab a room ASAP if things head in a certain direction, but maybe not beforehand. https://www.hoteltonight.com/

    [–] How do you determine what your league is? pheliam 2 points ago * (lasted edited 11 days ago) in datingoverthirty

    The Wayback Machine! https://web.archive.org/web/20170221092553/https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-mathematics-of-beauty-51bd25ae9a75

    Edit: After reading it... I can see VERY CLEARLY why they removed it.

    [–] 32 [f4m] whats on your bucket list? pheliam 1 points ago in R4R30Plus

    Getting people to pay me for my music. Organically! With no added bullshit!

    As for traditional stuff, own a house in the country with enough land for some chickens and crops, and to hike a mountain in upstate NY.

    [–] What are you looking for? pheliam 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I'll bite. Here's what I think I'm looking for, as a 31M undergoing divorce after 2 year separation.

    OK with silence in conversation, no pressure for me to fill silence.

    Openness: she should be OK at communicating with decent timing (the bar is low, as my timing is usually not great)

    She's honest and forgiving, because we all make mistakes and sometimes I need someone who's not afraid to tell me when I'm out on a limb.

    Is not afraid of disagreement, and won't burn a bridge over it

    General sense of fitness, bonus points if she's got goals!

    Doesn't want to wear the pants. I don't want to wear the pants either. She should be OK sharing pants duties with me, equitably.

    Embraces creativity and wants to join in with me (and my 2 kids) when painting, playing music, making beats, etc (or at LEAST be ok with the time it takes to make something that stands well on its own)

    Doesn't instantly quit when presented with the reality of time to accomplish a goal

    Has a sense of curiosity and/or intellectual playfulness

    Finally, she's gotta be cool with nature and the outdoors.

    Geez, is this too picky? -_-

    [–] What are you looking for? pheliam 3 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I've been thinking a lot about this sort of thing lately. In fact, it's how I've been trying to remove this dumbass "put her on a pedestal" tendency.

    My new mantra: "treat her like a person first." For me, the "be cool and be friendly" part flows naturally from there. Some really fun conversations have been had, and a lot of flirting, as a result of me trying this.

    Can you go into slightly more detail about Sunday night? Have you been with this guy long?

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I should look more into posture & anterior pelvic tilt, or at the very least go to the doctor and ask about it.

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Thanks for sharing. I realize that my post resembles a "guy meets world" sort of awakening.

    Now I'm recognizing the need to address one of my character flaws: learning to stop with snap judgements. Everyone is dynamic, and has things happening in their lives.

    I think if I can stop with the snap judgements, it will help prevent me from doing the comparison thing you mention. That sounds like it was awful and so callous! I'm glad he's your ex!

    I'm trying to remain open to meeting new people, but I also tend to put women I'm attracted to on pedestals, so maybe this is the logical conclusion to my fallacious naivete.

    My inner self's Occams Razor is saying: "just shut up and get out there. Nobody's perfect and it's mostly timing anyway. Play the damned field already!"

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    Dressing right is amazing. I've been following Queer Eye's functional advice re: fashion and it has really boosted my confidence, as narcissistic as it sounds.

    As for DA BELLY, I'm doing StrongLifts and regularly pushing against my body's limits. Apparently when you get closer to the 300lb mark on Squat weight (and are able to keep failing upward in weight with good form) is when the stubborn gut fat takes a hard exit.

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    UNSEASONED!? What the hell...

    Chicken breast with olive oil and salt pepper in the pan at the very least, and even THAT seems boring as shit.

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 2 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I'm kind of baffled that this is a thing. How is it hot?! Maybe in a cute-but-gruff teddy bear sort of way?

    [–] The Muffin Top, and Character Filters pheliam 1 points ago in datingoverthirty

    I'm a few months into StrongLifts 5x5 where you squat every single time you go, and I'm honestly convinced that it IS the king of exercises now.

    (I am still a little paranoid about my knee joints though)

    [–] Why are romantic movies full of so many toxic relationship ideals? pheliam 18 points ago in AskWomen

    Hence the saying, "still waters run deep." Learning to not confuse drama and tension with love is a huge step.