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    [–] I stopped doing everything around the house and "let go". Then I realized why suggesting women do this is TERRIBLE advice. th0t__police 1 points ago in JustNoSO

    Yeah, it seems obvious in retrospect that I should be writing stuff down as it occurs to either one of us. We have kind of a division of labor, she doesn't have a job outside the home, and the only reason I mention this is because she spends much more time there than I do, so she's the one who sees what needs to be done more than I do (for example, apparently there is a small leak under the sink.) Some of the other replies inspired me to start putting sticky notes up on the fridge as she mentions what needs to be done. I've asked her to prioritize them by what's most important to her.

    I think we do an ok job of sharing the mental load; I volunteer coach two soccer teams (kid 3 and kid 4) and deal with all of the organization related to that. I serve on 2 volunteer boards (kids 1,2,3 and kids 4 and 5, respectively) and I'm the treasurer for the second one, meaning I have to follow up with parents who are late or whatever. The second school is a co-op, so my volunteering for that position means that she doesn't have to. Also, I organize any social stuff for the older 3, like outings to the movies or going on hikes or whatever, having friends over, arranging rides, sign them up for activities, go to parent teacher conferences, that kind of thing. I don't own a gaming console or a PC capable of playing anything more advanced than Roblox... really I just try to spend time with my wife and kids when I'm not working. Obviously chores come into that too, but you may have picked up on something... my wife has some mild anxiety, so I take care of the things related to dealing with other people or institutions... I also pay the bills.

    So yeah, between the two of us, we are keeping it together somehow. It's just that the one off stuff slips through the cracks. I've tried keeping to do lists on my phone, but that hasn't worked for whatever reason.

    Anyway, your thoughtful and non judgmental answer helps, so thanks... hopefully this new addition to our system will cover it.

    [–] I stopped doing everything around the house and "let go". Then I realized why suggesting women do this is TERRIBLE advice. th0t__police 0 points ago in JustNoSO

    Well said. I'm the oblivious sort, I've begged my wife to make a list of things that need to be done (other than cleaning the kitchen, which I will do brainlessly because it was a childhood chore.)

    Thank you for this post, it shows a lot of insight and it's well written and concise. Assuming positive intentions goes a long way toward making a marriage work.

    [–] At what point should you start taking a kid’s ambitions/dreams seriously? th0t__police 2 points ago in Advice

    One of my friends has a girl who is a legit ballerina. She signed her up for lessons at age 2 and now at age 12ish she attends an exclusive school in NYC over the summer in order to further her education.

    According to my friend, this girl has always been serious about ballet. So, they started her at the local Y, now they have to drive about 2 hours round trip every day for ballet lessons during the school year. She does her homework in the car, and her grades have to stay up or else.

    If they're serious, you'll know. They can be serious even at a really young age. I hope this helps?

    [–] If anyone wanted an update to the disastrous duck dinner th0t__police 2 points ago in JustNoSO

    The pain will pass with each day he is gone.... instead of continuing each day you're together. He has taken the coward's approach: he has made you leave him instead of breaking up with you. He's found someone else... give it a month and it'll show up on Facebook.

    [–] Anxiety induced vomiting and on the verge of a mental breakdown th0t__police 5 points ago in Advice

    Read them sometime. I ran across an old journal a few weeks ago and the 20 something me is HILARIOUS. Not in a bad way either... it's been so long since I wrote the stuff that it may as well be new, and I still have the same sense of humor.

    Ok, also in a bad way, but the hilarity to cringe ratio is readable.

    [–] Anxiety induced vomiting and on the verge of a mental breakdown th0t__police 21 points ago in Advice

    Only thing I would add to this is to write out your feelings on paper. I'm not saying you have to keep a diary, but forcing everything that's in your head out onto paper is what got me through the teens. You don't have to keep it if you're worried about someone finding it, but sometimes it's helpful to read it a year later to see how far you've come mentally and emotionally. Just a regular notebook works. It might feel weird at first but... try it.

    Write whatever comes to mind. That makes it stop bouncing around in your head.

    You can do this.

    [–] Show me what you got th0t__police 9 points ago in RoastMyCar

    AMG: All Money Gone

    [–] My girlfriend of nearly 4 years just cheated on me with someone she met that same day, and told me about it 3 hours after it happened. th0t__police 1 points ago in confessions

    It do be like that sometimes. If she wants to be free to get with whoever, let her - sometimes monogamy doesn't suit a person.

    Sounds like you're the monogamy type and she isn't. On the bright side, you kept her happy for four years. You'll be fine, given enough time. Sink your former relationship time into self improvement and you will land someone way better.

    [–] Show me what you got th0t__police 26 points ago in RoastMyCar

    All German cars, FTFY

    [–] N Sister Threw a Knife at Me th0t__police 14 points ago in JUSTNOFAMILY

    The thing about the rape charge is that she would have to go to the hospital and have a rape kit done. Any doctor would be able to see a lack of trauma, and they wouldn't have any DNA evidence, either.

    She has tipped her hand.

    My advice: report the knife incident. Report any physical assaults. Build a credible record with the authorities, so if she decides to try to pull some bullshit, she is the one with credibility issues.

    On another note, it sounds like she could use some psychiatric help. Maybe talk to your parents about that possibility?? She's acting as though she has childhood abuse issues as well.

    [–] The irony...... th0t__police 1 points ago in Shitty_Car_Mods

    Bet you those pipes say AMG on them